Two pretty stories. Sorry for the white space, i suck at cropping.. UP was a cute girl while at a nutjob meet for drinks for a funtimes and decide we should get
Home Original Content Funny Pictures Funny GIFs YouTube Funny Text Funny Movies Channels Search

hide menu

Two pretty stories

Sorry for the white space, i suck at cropping.

****** UP **** was
a cute girl while at a nutjob
meet for drinks for a funtimes and decide we should get together
A HAS tells me she is bipolar and tends to moodswing
idontcare, jpg
TO YOU months we begin to argue
day alter sur tth month "anniversary meal" we have an arguement sver me not listening to her enough.
witch flips out and stabs me in the neck with a penknife
megs for my forgiveness 2 weeks later and asks me to marry her.
Not spoke to that little slut since.
HIE posts and 81 image replies omitted. Click Replete view.
23, seeing this little slut who is just turned legal
Must got out of long term relationship, pnly wanted to ****
wants more, **** that, she is annoying and immature, dump her ass and move away
keeps texting me, calling me, crazy ****
Anne day she texts me and says she' s pregnant
fer it, drive down to see her, says she had abortion and needs my support
Ribs comes back with me, on way home she says sheis still pregnant
her that night bareback. She wasn' t pregnant, actually knock her up. ******** _ jpg
of messed up things happen, eventually she miscarries
1 tell her to **** off wt of my life
Ribs is nuts, keeps showing up at my house 10 hours away hm hers
creeps saying she' s pregnant, I don' t believe her
Mara's on a pregnancy test to try and convince me___ dsn' t think so
Hell her if she wants to convince me, get an ultrasound
agrees- Stupid bitch. Then tries to make up a story heme ultrasound happens
was expected, nothing there. Doctor looks at me like "Boy, ysu' been played"
Hell her she can stay one more night, then she' s ******* off
Tories to get into bed naked with me, kick her out onto the couch
text at aam mm her. Look in bathroom. She' s slit her wrists.
she just wants to be with me
her to hospital, call her parents, never speak to her again
Ribs still sends me naked pics to try and get me to be with her
...
+375
Views: 14908
Favorited: 25
Submitted: 06/26/2012
Share On Facebook
Add to favorites Subscribe to keduti Subscribe to 4chan E-mail to friend submit to reddit
Share image on facebook Share on StumbleUpon Share on Tumblr Share on Pinterest Share on Google Plus E-mail to friend

Comments(63):

[ 63 comments ]

Show All Replies Show Shortcuts
Show:   Top Rated Controversial Best Lowest Rated Newest Per page:
Order:
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#30 - cinnamontoastmunch (06/27/2012) [+] (1 reply)
>Be 12
>at an Arcade
>Dunk (sort of cute) girl stumbles in
>I try to aim for 1200 tickets on this one game
>She walks over to me'
>grabs my ass
>she is kind of cute
> She stumbles around some more
>She gets angry at me for not paying attention
>Bitch I am 12 and I am at an Arcade
>She starts throwing stuff
>She asks if she wants to see her naked
>"Sure."
>She passes out on the floor
>Her pulse stopped
> alcohol poisoning

>MFW I still won 1200 tickets
#11 - isheepwebcast (06/26/2012) [+] (8 replies)
>Be 15
>Have a really hot female best friend
>Becomes **** buddy for like a week
>Start getting actual feelings for her
>She tells me she thinks she's pregnant by a guy that she ****** before we started *******
>She then tells me that she's in love with her cousin, and gave him a blowjob in a church
>Throw her the **** out of my life
>ends up turning a bunch of my friends against me
>She still texts me sometimes and comments on my youtube videos
>MFW
User avatar #37 - ThatFatMummy (06/27/2012) [-]
>bipolar redhead who needs attention to live
>get high (just normal weed)
>next to eachother, being playful, telling jokes, tickling, etc
>plug her nose for 5 seconds while making a honking sound
>she tells her parents (even when she's sober) that i tried to suffocate her
>many people now think i'm a serial killer.
#33 - roflstorm (06/27/2012) [+] (9 replies)
>2 years ago   
>going out with 7.5/10 girl.   
>anger management may be required    
>3rd date at fancy restaurant near house   
>everythings going well until...   
>WILD HOT WAITRESS APPEARED!   
>she stares me the 						****					 down during entire ordering.   
>"what the 						****					 was that about hmm?!"   
>being an semi-intelligent man, i ask what i did wrong.   
>refuses to tell me, gets up and leaves   
>gone 2 hours.   
>end up going home.   
>room is TOTALED   
>posters, lamp, computer, Tv, PS3 and the 						***************					 WINDOW is GONE   
>several weeks pass when im reading the newspaper and i get to the ads.   
MFW WHEN I SEE ALL THE ITEMS STOLEN FROM MY ROOM ON SALE IN THE ADS
>2 years ago
>going out with 7.5/10 girl.
>anger management may be required
>3rd date at fancy restaurant near house
>everythings going well until...
>WILD HOT WAITRESS APPEARED!
>she stares me the **** down during entire ordering.
>"what the **** was that about hmm?!"
>being an semi-intelligent man, i ask what i did wrong.
>refuses to tell me, gets up and leaves
>gone 2 hours.
>end up going home.
>room is TOTALED
>posters, lamp, computer, Tv, PS3 and the *************** WINDOW is GONE
>several weeks pass when im reading the newspaper and i get to the ads.
MFW WHEN I SEE ALL THE ITEMS STOLEN FROM MY ROOM ON SALE IN THE ADS
#19 - gutollyr (06/27/2012) [+] (8 replies)
> be 15
> get randomly added on msn
> really hot chick, we hit it off
> search up hot chick on facebook but don't add her because she tells me not to
> "my mum has my phone and the notification will go through and she'll ask me who you are" she says
> she gets her phone back, start texting her
> "don't add me on facebook, mum has my laptop, no point"
> she's really freaking hot so i do as she says
> speak to her on the phone, we hit it off
> agree to meet
> she keep postponing, week after week, excuse after excuse
> start to get suspicious
> turns out these two girls from 2 years bellow me who were obsessed with me pretended to be hot chick the whole time
> one of the girls is pretty hot so i agree to meet up with her
> receive a text telling me she hates me and never wants to speak to me again
> wat did i do
> turns out the other bitch sent me that text from her friends phone because she was jealous
> doesn't tell friend not to show up
> she thinks i stood her up
> never wants to speak to me again
> this all happens within the space of 2 months
> mfw
#17 - abxdlmno (06/26/2012) [-]
I LURKED THIS THREAD FOR LIKE 3 ******* HOURS YESTERDAY.
Yeah, I'm kind of a big deal.
#15 - kudlajz (06/26/2012) [-]
**kudlajz rolled a random image posted in comment #138 at Funnyjunk with hats ** My first GF.
User avatar #38 - fjfordawin (06/27/2012) [+] (2 replies)
may not be exciting, but still ****
> im 15 in highschool
>actually looking for a good/ honest relationship
>start to really like this one girl
>take her out to movies and stuff
>tell her i like her
>she seems ok with it
>about 3 and a half months later
>still tryin to get with her
>find out she is trying to get with ex boyfreind who cheated on her
>heartbroke and pissed. dont talk to her for a week or so
>get called at 3am saying she needs me
> i spend everything on her. time, money, etc...
>take her to local fair
>she asks me to go to get another guys number
>im more than pissed
>havnt talked to her since
User avatar #2 - barbwirepain (06/26/2012) [+] (2 replies)
1st girlfriend, virgin prior, we're dating 3 months, she goes to the doc, calls me later that day tells me she has the clap, tries to convince me that i gave it to her. turns out the bitch was joking and thought it would be funny. we broke up later that night
#49 - anormalbrony (06/27/2012) [-]
>be 13 in middle school   
>first relationship so didnt know how it worked   
>first week, we just talk and walk around campus, we dont talk very much though   
>second week, get the balls to ask her to go downtown with me, she says no   
>repeat for three more weeks   
>eventually she breaks up with me via facebook chat saying "we dont really hang out"   
mfw
>be 13 in middle school
>first relationship so didnt know how it worked
>first week, we just talk and walk around campus, we dont talk very much though
>second week, get the balls to ask her to go downtown with me, she says no
>repeat for three more weeks
>eventually she breaks up with me via facebook chat saying "we dont really hang out"
mfw
#22 - captainfish (06/27/2012) [+] (1 reply)
**captainfish rolled a random image posted in comment #1 at why I hate april **
My 1st whore of a gf. :D
User avatar #23 to #22 - captainfish (06/27/2012) [-]
Well the whole relationship was basically an april fools joke so I guess that works?
#51 - glamourre (06/27/2012) [+] (1 reply)
>be in high school   
>be friends with a guy who's a massive dick to women but otherwise okay   
>he asks me out   
>nnnnnope   
>he asks again   
>nnnnnope   
>waits a year, asks again   
>let me rephrase: 						****					 nope   
>he gets mad   
>grabs my hair and starts kissing me in the hallway at school   
>shove him away, flee   
>he grabs me by the throat   
>slams me against a locker   
>another bro pulls him off me   
>hand shaped bruises on my neck for everyone to see   
>he tries to convince everyone I attacked him   
>wrote a poem about it and read it to our english class   
>mfw   
   
   
tl;dr there are 						******					 guys in the world too.
>be in high school
>be friends with a guy who's a massive dick to women but otherwise okay
>he asks me out
>nnnnnope
>he asks again
>nnnnnope
>waits a year, asks again
>let me rephrase: **** nope
>he gets mad
>grabs my hair and starts kissing me in the hallway at school
>shove him away, flee
>he grabs me by the throat
>slams me against a locker
>another bro pulls him off me
>hand shaped bruises on my neck for everyone to see
>he tries to convince everyone I attacked him
>wrote a poem about it and read it to our english class
>mfw


tl;dr there are ****** guys in the world too.
#54 - zyean (06/27/2012) [-]
This was the funniest one I saw on that thread IMO

>Be young & innocent
>Have no responsibilities
>Spend all day sleeping and eating
>One day crazy bitch pushes me out her vagina
>Now I have to live out here
>feelsbadman
User avatar #52 - slumberdonkey (06/27/2012) [-]
Wow, i thought my ex was ****** up...
>Met her on mission trip
>Me and my friend hit it off with her
>10 months later i break up with her because she's crazy and religious (i'm not)
>The next day she decides to be best friends with the friend i met her with
>after not talking to him for most of the ten months
>She tells him that her ex beat her up and she had to get surgery on her face
>Didn't happen
>She posts on tumblr that i bought her a louie vaton dress, a cruise trip, and a trip to italy for christmas
>mfw none of that happened and i only gave her a stuffed animal that i've had since i was little
#48 - tomcep (06/27/2012) [+] (1 reply)
I can't be the only one who read " ****** up **** a female has done to you." in Yoda's voice...
#61 - Roidrage (06/27/2012) [-]
>First time get a gf at 20 years old.   
>Go out for 2 months.   
>Week after my birthday on the way home from the bowling alley.   
>She turns down the music on the radio.    
>Turn to see her face. She looks sad.   
>Tells me she does not want relationship and only wants to be friends.    
>I say ok.   
>We became friends for the next 5 years.   
>Everythingwentbetterthanexpected.jpg
>First time get a gf at 20 years old.
>Go out for 2 months.
>Week after my birthday on the way home from the bowling alley.
>She turns down the music on the radio.
>Turn to see her face. She looks sad.
>Tells me she does not want relationship and only wants to be friends.
>I say ok.
>We became friends for the next 5 years.
>Everythingwentbetterthanexpected.jpg
#58 - xxxsonic fanxxx (06/27/2012) [-]
>had old highschool girlfriend die in a car accident,   
>she had been my reason for not killing self, after she died i drank 2 glasses of antifreeze and had to get stomach pumped    
>years go by, meet girl in college who has similar build and face structure to previous girl, (amber)   
>i start to trust college girl, we become great friends, leave my backpack with journal in it at her house on accident one day   
>she reads journal and finds out about me bout of depression and how i still missed amber,   
>as the months on campus go by she starts to slowly change her appearance to look like amber did,   
>did creepy detail 						****					, all from my descriptions of her from my journals,    
>slowly died her hair red, started wearing green contact lenses, even went so far as to henna tattoo freckles on her face two or three at a time...   
>sucks my dick out of the blue   
>holyhell feelsgoodman.jpg   
>jizz all over her face, she looks at me, says    
>"so who was better? me or amber?"   
>MFW i realize she did all that appearance changing 						****					   
>akward penguin,    
>never talked to her again after that.
>had old highschool girlfriend die in a car accident,
>she had been my reason for not killing self, after she died i drank 2 glasses of antifreeze and had to get stomach pumped
>years go by, meet girl in college who has similar build and face structure to previous girl, (amber)
>i start to trust college girl, we become great friends, leave my backpack with journal in it at her house on accident one day
>she reads journal and finds out about me bout of depression and how i still missed amber,
>as the months on campus go by she starts to slowly change her appearance to look like amber did,
>did creepy detail **** , all from my descriptions of her from my journals,
>slowly died her hair red, started wearing green contact lenses, even went so far as to henna tattoo freckles on her face two or three at a time...
>sucks my dick out of the blue
>holyhell feelsgoodman.jpg
>jizz all over her face, she looks at me, says
>"so who was better? me or amber?"
>MFW i realize she did all that appearance changing ****
>akward penguin,
>never talked to her again after that.
User avatar #57 - mango (06/27/2012) [-]
Not too serious, but I've not really had much of a story with female relationships... :(
Anyways, girl I know for awhile starts playing with with my air, ECT.
Next day, asks me out, BY NOTE. Sort of sad, but first girlfriend, why would I say no, shes pretty, nice , and a great friend. Started kissing a little, hugging, holding hands, ECT. 2 ducking days I get a note that says she feels too rushed into the relation **** . Broke up by note. That's the part that sucks. I understand that maybe she didn't feel anything, I'm not mad at her for that. Mad at the fact that she asked me out by note (sure, fine, whatever. At least she asked ME out.) the broke up with me by note. At least say it to my face, it was a 2 day relationship, it wouldn't of really hurt my emotions.

Another, not the girls fault, but a sad story with a girl, 2 girls actually. 2 girls that are beyond great friends, and all are going to this dance.(dates are usually casual) I wanted to ask one of them out, figured I'd balls up and do it. Turns out I can't go to the dance. **** . Both girls are upset, but not really pissed. I was planning on asking one after the dance, but when they got back, turns out at the dance they both found new relationships. **** me, both girls too. I realize how much I wish I could of went, and how I could of been in a relationship with one of my best friends if I went. Still best friends, they don't know I like them that-a-way, fine for now, I'll tell them later. Like I said, not something the girls did to me directly, but just a sad story with females.

Too lazy too proof read, sorry for any slip ups.
User avatar #56 - chuckstein (06/27/2012) [-]
>Get home
>Check facebook
>3 ******* friend requests
>All Asian girls a year younger than me.
>Why the **** not.
>Add them
>They all start flirting with me
>I have a ******* fan club
>They all start trying to go out with me
>I tell them no thanks
>See them in school from time to time
>2 months later
>Finally get in a relationship with 1 of them.
>We date for 5 minutes until she decides I'm too friendly
>TOO FRIENDLY?
>We break up
>She tells her friends I am too nice
>They remove me
>I no longer have a fan club.
0
#1 - cowjuice has deleted their comment [-]
[ 63 comments ]
Leave a comment
 Friends (0)