Tard Stories 7. TY I LOVE YOU ALL (Except that one hater) 6: /channel/4chan/Tard+Stories+6/wfquDjs 8: /channel/4chan/Tard+Stories+8/MGsuDZT. in school urinal ne seltzer swag
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Tard Stories 7

in school urinal next lo Downie retard kid.
r: -He' s Just laughing and holding his dick.
Aides lo touch me with it.
starts making a high pitched screaming noise.
leave before anyone tilde aces.
Ale always. runs away timn me in the hallway freed then en.
jpg
ybe in line at walmart checkout
austistic hie. meet r? years old, with his dad in teat me
Hare keeps leeking at my **** . then inciting hack at his dad
breaches half they re my vitamin water
breaches of the way to my vitamin water
3: -teaches vitamin water lightly
epicks it up
weenie it
astards drinking very slowly , carefully
we sees what his retard is doing and starts swearing
gs" god dammit Phil!"
we eberything lean nor re laugh
a little
glares at me, "I' m may (super sarcastic), he' s autistic"
we vitamin water fer me
...
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Views: 62474
Favorited: 164
Submitted: 01/02/2012
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Comments(261):

[ 261 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
+66
#180 - shortbusterrorist **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
-1
#189 to #180 - muffintime has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #217 to #189 - MrSaxman (01/03/2012) [-]
capped.
#235 to #180 - Rascal (01/03/2012) [-]
Here's the link....
www.funnyjunk.com/funny_pic...
+1
#239 to #235 - shortbusterrorist **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
+4
#184 to #180 - deathsoldier **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
+4
#186 to #184 - shortbusterrorist **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#268 to #186 - getter (01/03/2012) [-]
I'd say it's cuz your story is considered by many to be tl;dr so they favourited it to read it later.
User avatar #256 - THEPEANUT (01/03/2012) [-]
>4th Week of college
>Be in bathroom having a piss (I genuinely can't piss in urinals if other people are around)
>Only 2 cubicles
>Cubicle next to mine is occupied
>Hear massive slam, tard walks in stomping loudly and unleashed a tard roar all in about 3 seconds
>can't piss, too scared
>Tard Screams "COUGHING BATHROOM" multipled times, with controlled burping occasionally "URINAL SLAM" comes next
>Keeps repeating over and over
>Starts banging on the side of the cubicle next to mine, not the door, the side
>Tard roar
>He leaves
>Calm for 5 seconds
>Door slams again
>Nother tard roar, voice of one thousand tards
>Starts slamming violently into next cubicle again
>Still roaring
>Stops
>Leaves
>Silence for 10 seconds, then rustling noises from other cubicle
>Guy sounding terrified "What the **** "


all credit to zoondogod
www.funnyjunk.com/funny_pic...
User avatar #267 to #256 - bunnybitchtits (01/03/2012) [-]
I think I peed a little laughing.
User avatar #269 to #256 - pedomegler (01/03/2012) [-]
good thing he was already in the BR, that must have scared the **** out of him
User avatar #10 - darthtiberius (01/02/2012) [-]
go into the school bathroom
go for the middle stall, for some reason my favorite.
stall is closed, so I gently push it open to see if occupied.
tard taking a turd looks up at me and goes "Neugghr?"
It seems like he is trying to say "why would you do this?"
I barrel roll into the left stall and try to piss
trudy tard still making moaning sounds, making it impossible for me to piss
I give up and exit stall, hoping he will remain in there for a few minutes for me to escape
I start to wash my hands
He comes out pants down, tightie whities barely covering his dick
I stare into my own eyes in the mirror as he stands inches away, staring at me going
"hrrrreuuuuuuugh"
I hear his paraprofessional outside call for him
he heads out of the bathroom, pants still down
I think i'm in the clear, and let out a sigh
his head pops back around the corner and he stares into my soul for 2 seconds
he leaves, I wash my hands, and go back to Computer Networking
my friend in the class says i looked like i had just been raped.
I felt like I had.
User avatar #107 to #10 - eldorito (01/03/2012) [-]
You had computer networking in middle school? Like, CCNA stuff?
User avatar #116 to #107 - bendybanders (01/03/2012) [-]
where does he say that he is in middle school?
User avatar #123 to #116 - eldorito (01/03/2012) [-]
facepalm.jpg Oh, middle STALL. Now, I see. Oh well. pinkie me down as I deserve.
User avatar #170 to #107 - Amwolf (01/03/2012) [-]
CCNA ftw
User avatar #179 to #170 - eldorito (01/03/2012) [-]
I took it and I ******* hated it, but then again, my teacher thought that random jitter was a bad thing and she gave us the questions and answers to the test rather than teaching us, so maybe I'm biased haha. I'll probably take a networking class in college senior year.
#6 - mitchcninefive (01/02/2012) [-]
talking to the chick i liked and im definite liked me   
make some jokes she laughs   
work up courage to ask her out "so do you-"   
up comes resident tard (kieran) who grabs her tits tries to lick her face then punches her to the ground   
i punch him in the face and and push him away from her   
now everyone hates me for being a tard basher and she cant stand to be around me

talking to the chick i liked and im definite liked me
make some jokes she laughs
work up courage to ask her out "so do you-"
up comes resident tard (kieran) who grabs her tits tries to lick her face then punches her to the ground
i punch him in the face and and push him away from her
now everyone hates me for being a tard basher and she cant stand to be around me
#157 to #6 - clippins (01/03/2012) [-]
Respect.
User avatar #177 to #6 - GoodGood (01/03/2012) [-]
scumbag retard.
User avatar #120 to #6 - xcmxcmx (01/03/2012) [-]
maybe she liked it....

#44 to #6 - qazlord (01/03/2012) [-]
you saved her and she 			*******		 hates you   
   
			*******************		.jpg
you saved her and she ******* hates you

******************* .jpg
#15 to #6 - Rascal (01/02/2012) [-]
i, for one, think you did the right thing.
#263 - erbbraun (01/03/2012) [-]
> 8th grade in lunch room
> Friend who normally goes home for lunch stays
> Both of us are eating lunch when we hear loud screams from the hallway
> In comes a fat topless female tard screaming at the top of her lungs
> Her watcher comes in with a blue mat type thing and clothes lines her with it
> Her watcher then puts the mat over her and sits on her
> Friend stayed for lunch for the rest of the year.
#250 - ChiknNuggets (01/03/2012) [-]
>Elementary school
>Tard has an extreme **** fit over someone breaking his crayon..
>Begins screaming and throwing random items on the floor..
>Dumbass teacher yells at the tard, telling him to calm his **** and sit down
>Tard hurls scissor with terrifying tard strength...
>Scissors stuck in drywall a few feet away from teachers head
>I get up out of my desk to make an attempt to soothe the savage tard...
>I manage to get behind him.. Rub his back and tell him it's going to be okay...
>He ***** his pants... And I take him by the hand and walk him to the nurses office...
> I AM THE TAMER OF THE TARDS
#273 to #250 - epicnoodles (01/03/2012) [-]
I am 16 and i still ******* HATE it when people break my crayons..
< Mfw.
User avatar #280 to #273 - dnaahht (01/03/2012) [-]
Wait, you still use crayons?
User avatar #282 to #280 - epicnoodles (01/03/2012) [-]
**** yes! Crayons are ******* awesome!
User avatar #283 to #282 - dnaahht (01/03/2012) [-]
I question your intellect.
User avatar #284 to #283 - epicnoodles (01/03/2012) [-]
Why would you question my intellect?!
User avatar #304 to #284 - Loganbottom (01/04/2012) [-]
epicnoodles doesn't need to prove him/herself, crayons are ******* sweet.
User avatar #144 - Loganbottom (01/03/2012) [-]
>At olive garden, in bathroom
> Tard at urinal with his pants by his ankles
>He goes to wash his hands
>NNHHHUUURRAAAAAAAGGHHH
>I turn the water to cold for him
>THAINKS MISTR
User avatar #185 to #144 - xmenfan (01/03/2012) [-]
Thats actually cute in a way :3
User avatar #302 to #185 - Loganbottom (01/03/2012) [-]
I felt like a hero for the rest of the day :D
User avatar #9 - toguli (01/02/2012) [-]
I ******* LOVE ALL OF THESE STORIES
#285 - msbea (01/03/2012) [-]
>Be working at Best Buy
>Retard (maybe 16) comes up to me while I'm ringing **** up
>Starts asking me where the bathroom is
>Point it out
>Retard walks over to the shelf in the front full of candy and ****
>Grabs gum
>Opens it in front of me and starts eating it
>Offers me some
>I say no
>Starts to cry
>Never see retard again. Also doesn't pay for gum. Also probably never went to the bathroom.

Wut

True story.
#265 - bunnybitchtits (01/03/2012) [-]
&gt;My birthday party.   
&gt;Sitting in front of the TV watching a movie with my retard cousin sitting next to me.   
&gt;She's picking her nose.   
&gt;After she contemplates some, she rubs it on my arm.   
&gt;Says &quot;Happy birthday&quot; while she's wiping her snot on me.   
&gt;MFW
>My birthday party.
>Sitting in front of the TV watching a movie with my retard cousin sitting next to me.
>She's picking her nose.
>After she contemplates some, she rubs it on my arm.
>Says "Happy birthday" while she's wiping her snot on me.
>MFW
+44
#75 - fizzywaters **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
0
#171 to #169 - fizzywaters **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #163 to #75 - moooossseeee (01/03/2012) [-]
Dude, you just made my ******* day, thats the funniest **** ive ever read.
+1
#165 to #163 - fizzywaters **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #167 to #165 - moooossseeee (01/03/2012) [-]
Mission.
******* .
Accomplished.

Favorited.
User avatar #112 to #75 - xcmxcmx (01/03/2012) [-]
make a comp of tardtales
#82 to #75 - violettheory (01/03/2012) [-]
&quot;Keeper of the Tards&quot;    
fukken lol'd
"Keeper of the Tards"
fukken lol'd
#160 to #82 - speedypwnager (01/03/2012) [-]
crap, forgot what the source of this was...
User avatar #162 to #160 - violettheory (01/03/2012) [-]
It's called going to the store. Here is the link to the Knowyourmeme page.
funnyjunk.com/channel/4chan...
Have a nice day sir :D
User avatar #164 to #162 - violettheory (01/03/2012) [-]
**** , wrong link. sorry.
knowyourmeme.com/memes/goin...
there, that's better.
#12 - lipchin (01/02/2012) [-]
>taking a test in 6th grade
>open book test with the teachers basically giving us the answers as we go along.
>tard next to me starts panting
>flips total **** because the test is too hard
> ******* stomps out of the room flipping his desk in the process and bitch slapping the teacher.
>mfw
#293 - cacoppedge (01/03/2012) [-]
Nothing to do with school but here goes...

>In Wal-Mart
>Age 12
>Here terrible noises on next isle
>sounds like fat seal getting a fisted by a toucan
> Tell brother very loudly "Sounds like a retard!!"
>Turn corner
>King of retards on his throne.
>while he thrashes uncontrolably from retardgasms mom watches me
>nothingtodohere.jpg
User avatar #292 - negativeone (01/03/2012) [-]
>Men's bathroom at school
>Retard comes in and stands next to me
>He starts pissing, with pants on
> Guy comes out of stall and says "Bro, are you retarded or something?"
>Retard looks at him with freakish eyes
>Retard grunts
>Guy is chased after by tard
>Tard's pants fall down so he is pissing on the guy while running
>Lunch bell rings
>Laughter e'rywhere

#313 to #292 - peejay (07/03/2012) [-]
ha. i knew i recognized ur avatar from somewhere
User avatar #26 - woddyallenspencase (01/03/2012) [-]
-in 7th grade
-two tards come running at me from opposite sides of hall
-end up grabbing to each of my arms
-start screaming "LET GO HE'S MINE!"
-they end up pulling as hard as they can on both my amrs
-POP! they dislocated both of my arms
-nothing happens to them
-i get suspended for yelling at tards after they here the dislocated arms pop and stop
#25 - kingofunny (01/03/2012) [-]
>3rd grade
>in hall
>a group of tards walking my way
>i walk in bathroom to avoid them
>they go in after me
>they leader of the tard group sees me
>he looked at me strait in the eyes
>he yells I LIKE TO POOP GREEN
>he pulls down his pants
> *********** .jpg
>he takes a massive **** on other tards shoes
>other tards gang up on eachother because **** only hit some
>its a tard war
>my face as i watch as 4 tards beat the **** out of 3 tards
User avatar #281 - bananacatdance (01/03/2012) [-]
>My birthday
>having a water fight with all my family (including my "special cousin")
>wet him with super soaker
> ******* FLIPS OUT INTO TARD RAGE
>Knocks gun out of my hands and slaps me full force in the face
>takes gun and rune into a corner and starts to gnaw on the plastic
>let him keep the gun
#271 - therulethirtyfour (01/03/2012) [-]
>In line at store
>One lane open
>Let Mom and young girltard go ahead of me
>They only have three things
>Mom tells girltard to pick a candy
>Girltard almost ***** herself with excitement
>Twenty minutes pass
>No ******* choice
>Mom is waiting patiently
>I want my goddamn groceries
>Cashier is annoyed
>Girltard chooses gum
>Mom says to pick a candy, not gum
>Rage out
>Grab Snickers
>Throw it at Mom
>Girltard freaks
>Grabs handful of candy and runs out front door
>Can't stop laughing
>MFW I caused a young mentally challenged girl to shoplift an armful of M&Ms
#45 - ispitinursoup (01/03/2012) [-]
plz, thats nothing

> im 7 yrs old
> got invited to be in the tv show of "Barbie"
> 3 Barbies to stylish, i choose the middle one
> on my left a tard girl
> all is going well, im gonna win me a barbie mansion with a working elevator
> my awesome barbie is ready for the judge
> tard girl decides she likes mine better
> grabs it form my hands and stars to ruin the awesome hairdo and clothes i choose
> ohhellno!.jpg
> when i try to take it back tard squeeks like a ****** tard
> behind the cameras the director is telling me to stop
< mfw i realize that im not gonna win the ******* mansion...
<.... and that that **** was on live tv and im starting to cry like a baby...

true story, i still hate being filmed because of that ******* tard and i never got the barbie mansion..... ;_;
#7 - Procean (01/02/2012) [-]
were all going to hell for laughing at this XD
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