Tard Stories 22 (23 in Desc.). Sorry wait guys been busy with finals and but i'll try to make one per day if people like. 21: funnyjunk.com/channel/4chan/Tard+S blue

Tard Stories 22 (23 in Desc.)

Sorry wait guys been busy with finals and **** but i'll try to make one per day if people like.
21: funnyjunk.com/channel/4chan/Tard+Stories+21/ldgvDyq/
23: www.funnyjunk.com/channel/4chan/Tard+Stories+23/orsvDbe

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Views: 23931
Favorited: 53
Submitted: 01/11/2012
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User avatar #8 - brettyoke (01/11/2012) [+] (3 replies)
>Be me in 5th grade
>Have mom who is part time substitute
>Mom gets called in to sub in tard zone
>Me go to have mom take me home after school
>Walk in tard zone to see mom changing tard diaper
>13 year old tard giggling and blushing
> ****************** .jpg
>Tard notices me standing in tardzone
>Tard releases guttural noise: GURRGRURUGULER
>All tards turn and look at me as their leader prepares for tard wars
>Tard leader jumps off diaper station and chases me down hallway
>Tard warrior releases battle cry of 10,000 tardians past
>Me running for dear life
>Tard gets tackled by awsome social studies teacher
>Tard proceeds to piss on social studies teacher while laying down
>Begins doing snow angel motions in his own piss
>Regular tard wranglers finally show up
>Mom quits subbing, tardicus does not receive his daily sticker for good behavior
>Everything went better than expected
#22 - collegedood (01/11/2012) [+] (1 reply)
>born in sparta
>raised in sparta
>killed off all the tards
>live a glorious life in peace
#11 - barbwirepain (01/11/2012) [-]
>Yesterday at work I was stocking frozen food like my dept manager asked me to do (we had to have the freezer cleaned out by wed.)
>Giant tard comes into my aisle hand down the back of his pants, nobody else in sight.
>I get up and ask him if I can help him (store policy)
>BLLLLLAAAAARRGGGHHHHH. Pulls hand out of pants and begins smearing bloody **** all over the freezer doors
>I freak out and run, Tardzilla chasing me down, making his tard warcry known.
>After running for like 2 minutes (seemed like an hour) his mother comes up and tells him to stop. Tardzilla proceeds to smear his ****** hand all over her face.
>Three security guards come over, tackle and hold Tardzilla down
>My face when they told me I had to either clean it off or quit. i walked out of the store and left my nametag on the counter
#36 - mildmanneredlucas (01/11/2012) [-]
Me whenever I see that PeterW has posted a new comp of Tard Stories
Me whenever I see that PeterW has posted a new comp of Tard Stories
#29 - tigerrrr (01/11/2012) [-]
retoasting my story from a while back.
>8th grade
>Somewhat Autustic kid and his retard friend
>Retard friend has "Zombies mints" from left 4 dead (he's obsessed with that game)
>Scrawny prep goes up to him and throws mins everywhere
>Retard goes and picks all of them up and eats them
>Prep takes one and wipes it on his balls.
>Prep gives it too the Retard kid
>Before he eats it Autustic kid stops him and said he wiped it on his balls.
>Tard with a battlecry "HE DID WHAT TO MY MINTS?!?!"
>As soon as I heard this **** was about to hit the fan
>Tard beats the living **** out of him and shoves the mint down his throat.
#23 - misterhoboz (01/11/2012) [-]
>Parents planning family vacations with uncles
>Grandparents show up with Uncle Tard
>They finally decide
>Going to Disneyworld in the summer
>Uncle Tard freaks the **** out
>Runs around the house in excitement
>Hilarity ensues

Fast forward two months

>In airport
>Uncle Tard sees the planes
>"Do the airplanes take us to heaven?"
>Grandma says no
>Uncle Tard is mystified by airplanes
>Get on airplane
>Airplane takes off
>Flight runs into a bit of turbulence
>Uncle Tard screams "HERE I COME GAWD"
>Everybody on the plane freaks the **** out
#10 - superlolcopter (01/11/2012) [-]
> I enter a bus in the morning, going to school.
> a retarded is in the bus
> he makes farting noises
> he talks to himself like Gollum
> he inhales air into his stomach and produces burps
> he does this about ten times
> final time he burps and vomit's in the bus.
> the bus driver asks him to leave
> he starts to make seagull noises and runs away.
#3 - ulquiorra (01/11/2012) [-]
Comment Picture

#1 - propellerballs has deleted their comment [+] (2 replies)
#9 to #1 - doctoranon (01/11/2012) [-]
Comment Picture

User avatar #30 - mexirican (01/11/2012) [-]
>BE IN ************* MIDDLE SCHOOL
>infamous overgrown female tard called emma OO
>walking down hallway with friends when the beast appears
>friends get an idea to shove our smallest friend into her
> we walk by her and toss him into her
>she unleashes shriek of the gods
>my friend sprints off
>she catches him WTFOMG
>tosses his ass down the stairs
>wrangler called in, runs towards her
>she would make a great running back.
>sprints outside with a mass of wranglers chasing her
>runs through a chain link fence
> mfw O
> this was a middle school femal tard
>never saw her again

>probably got drafted in the NFL
#15 - anonymous (01/11/2012) [+] (1 reply)
>trying to greentext on funnyjunk

******* STOP
#7 - diespitris ONLINE (01/11/2012) [-]
I 						*******					 love these tard stories. Please don't stop making them.

I ******* love these tard stories. Please don't stop making them.
#34 - joefire (01/11/2012) [-]
>In Wal Mart with my ex
>Chick calls her son retarded, don't know if he actually is
>Later in the check out line, amd and my ex waiting our turn
>Suddenly in the next aisle over, I hear the biggest tard war cry I've ever heard
>Me and my ex just go stone face
> ****************** .jpg
>I start having trouble holding back my laughter
>My ex tries to keep it in now that I am
>Cashier has a "wtf" look
>Rings up the b-day card and I take it and cover my mouth
>Walk like hell with card over my face, don't even look in the next aisle
>Go past elderly door woman
>"Have a nice night young man"
>Just get the **** out of there, woman giving me the weirdest look
>Realize I left my ex back there, but idc
>Get outside and just ******* collapse laughing
>Get to car, we get in
>lololololololol for 15 ******* minutes
>mfw I first heard the cry.
User avatar #31 - superpedodonkey (01/11/2012) [-]
the last one i just couldnt handle, i just burst out laughing
#28 - lyzb (01/11/2012) [-]
>In college library
>Lunchtime, so library is pretty busy
>On a computer trying to write a French essay
>Headache so no earphones and music for once
>Tard girl is on a computer on the opposite side of the library
>She is Albanian
>Has massive headphones on and is singing Albanian songs at the top of her lungs
>The library has a "silent study" policy
>Everyone in the library pissing themselves laughing
>Civilians sat near tard girl flee
>Librarian too scared to approach tard girl
>Tard wrangler alerted
>Tard wrangler arrives and confiscates the headphones
>Tard girl realises everyone is laughing at her
>Tard breakdown
#6 - dragostarc has deleted their comment [+] (2 replies)
#16 to #6 - insanitydriven **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#38 - skitterisback **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#33 - halfdemon (01/11/2012) [-]
for the love of the tardian gods MOAR
#27 - fluoo **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #18 - Greatangelsfury ONLINE (01/11/2012) [-]
>be in 11th grade
>watching kids from primary school visit for orientation day
>Tard appears on balcony out of the toilet
>tard starts pegging **** at kids
>kids screaming, teachers panicking
>tard runs out of **** , pegs toilet paper
>teachers appear in balcony
>tard sceams, starts to run, slips on own **** , not wearing pants
>teachers dog pile on half-naked tard
>cannot contain laughter any longer
>never saw the tard again
>only 5 kids out of the lot came to our school next year
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