Tard Stories 21 (22 in Desc.). Thanks again will continue making these from now on 22: /channel/4chan/Tard+Stories+22+Sorry+for+wait/DlpvDQy.. >In 5th Grade >Playing tag with friends >Tard joins in >Tard gets tagged >Stays silent for about a minute >Suddenly screams tard battlecry &gt Tell Me
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#60 - SpaceInvader
Reply +44
(01/08/2012) [-]
>In 5th Grade
>Playing tag with friends
>Tard joins in
>Tard gets tagged
>Stays silent for about a minute
>Suddenly screams tard battlecry
>All the tards come at us
>Running for lives
>Army of tards screaming
>Get to dead end balcony
>Tards right behind us
>We jump off
>Get out of the way
>Tards all jump off
>Hail of tards in the sky
>Take cover as they hit the ground
>Friends and I quietly go back to class
>Never speak about tard war again

#9 - CakemanRPG
Reply +29
(01/08/2012) [-]
I like these posts so I'm gonna retoast mine   
>10th grade   
>autistic kid named brian sat in the back of health class   
>Slurred his words in somewhat broken english   
>borderline illterate   
>He had a habit of doing ANYTHING you told him (groping girls, punching teachers, shrieking racial slurs in the middle of class)   
>this got him into a **** load of fights (some of them are on youtube but most of them were taken down)   
>Big problem: He never got punished for all the **** he did   
>Even bigger problem: He had NO TARD WRANGLER   
>His anger was extremely volitile but he had an odd sense of humor   
>i.e. he somehow obtained my cell number and texted me pictures of various ***** he took for weeks   
>Final project due in Health and he was assigned the digestive system   
>we had to do it in presentations   
>He got up in front of the class and explained how poop was made
I like these posts so I'm gonna retoast mine
>10th grade
>autistic kid named brian sat in the back of health class
>Slurred his words in somewhat broken english
>borderline illterate
>He had a habit of doing ANYTHING you told him (groping girls, punching teachers, shrieking racial slurs in the middle of class)
>this got him into a **** load of fights (some of them are on youtube but most of them were taken down)
>Big problem: He never got punished for all the **** he did
>Even bigger problem: He had NO TARD WRANGLER
>His anger was extremely volitile but he had an odd sense of humor
>i.e. he somehow obtained my cell number and texted me pictures of various ***** he took for weeks
>Final project due in Health and he was assigned the digestive system
>we had to do it in presentations
>He got up in front of the class and explained how poop was made
#287 to #9 - lambofgodftw
Reply +2
(01/11/2012) [-]
link me to the ******* videos naow!!!
#10 to #9 - CakemanRPG
Reply +35
(01/08/2012) [-]
>He showed the class a 27 slide long powerpoint presentation
>each slide had a different picture of all the ***** he took the past month
>The whole class is having a difficult time keeping it all together
>teacher doesnt do **** because she knows that Brian has special needs
>FInishes the presentation by showing a video of him butt naked in his kitchen
>class is mortified
>in the video he begins to take an explosive **** in a bowl
>finishes and cleans himself off and walks toward the camera, with his three inch uncircumcised dick swaying back and forth
>picks up camera and walks it over to the bowl
>displays the greenish-brown slop to the class
>video ends with him turning the camera towards his face, grins and gives a pinkies up
>Says "Annin thdats how poopb is made"
>Girls are gagging or silent. Guys are pissing themselves laughing
>three teachers couldn't restore order
>expelled
>never saw brian again
#38 to #10 - gagelovesyou
Reply +5
(01/08/2012) [-]
LOLD LOLD
#131 to #10 - readthisbackwards
Reply -17
(01/09/2012) [-]
It would have been a lot more funnier if you ended it on your last post when you said

"He got up in front of the class and explained how poop was made"
#182 to #131 - anon
Reply 0
(01/09/2012) [-]
No, it wouldn't. Sorry man, maybe next time you'll get pinkies.
#11 - doctoranon
Reply +33
(01/08/2012) [-]
>Be four months ago.
>It's football (the American kind) season
>Tard is sitting on the sidelines with his tard wrangler because he wants to know what a practice is like
>Note that this kid is like goddamned Tardzilla, he's like 6'2" and 230 lbs
>surewhynot.jpg
>We're in the middle of running a play when I hear the most ungodly ******* terrifying noise I've ever heard in my life
>Tardzilla is screaming at the top of his lungs and ******* charging me
>I'm pretty much the biggest guy on the team so I don't think anything bad can come of it, so I just brace for impact
>Tardzilla runs over his wrangler (who is pretty big himself) to get to me
>I'vemadeahugemistake.jpg
>Tardzilla ******* tackles the everloving **** out of me.
>He's sitting on top of me, grabbing my facemask and shaking my helmet around, and chanting in the ancient forbidden tongues of Tardthulhu.
>I'm ******* scared out of my mind
>His wrangler and some of my teammates pull him off and help me up.
>Tardzilla is still screaming and flailing around
>Everyone stands there for a good thirty seconds
>I scream "WHAT THE **** JUST HAPPENED?!"
>Tardzilla just starts ******* crying
>The next day, I'm called into the principal's office
>Tardzilla is there with his wrangler, along with one of the coaches
>My ******* face when I have to apologize for swearing in front of him after he tackles me
#69 to #11 - Zealotforce **User deleted account**
Reply +7
(01/08/2012) [-]
>be in junior year of high school
>go to use stall for a quick piss (also dislike urinals in public)
>knock on favorite stall door
>*silence*, door slightly opens, obviously unlocked
>push door open
>tard taking a turd looks up at me with a confused look on his face
>he makes a noise like "huuuuugh?"
>i quickly dash into other stall
>he continues making "huuuuuuuuurgh" sounds
>i think im in the clear to wash hands after pissing while he is still moaning
>walk out to wash my hands
>after taking his mentally challenged bowel movement he walks out next to me with his pants around his ankles and his underwear somewhere around his knees
>makes a quieter, more sensual huugh sound.
>i am standing next to a half naked tard attempting to process the situation
>after the longest 30 seconds ever he walks out and his para has him pull his pants up
>i wash my hands and walk back to comp net
>never tell anyone about it until now
#258 to #69 - ezioaudacity
Reply +1
(01/09/2012) [-]
toilet tard amnesia
#75 - TigerMann
Reply +27
(01/09/2012) [-]
>Be in 10th grade
>School has tard gym class mixed in with mine
>******* huge-ass tards, about 7 or 8 of them
>Gym class, we're playing volleyball
>Tards playing on one end of gym, my class on the other
>Not the best at this game, I accidentally hit the ball wrong
>Goes flying toward tards
>Hits biggest one in head
>whathaveidone.jpeg
>Tard screams war cry in Tardese
>Tard guard hears him, goes to calm him down
>Tard goes *******, screams in Tardese
>Tard guard tried to calm the beast
>Says something about him not getting a sticker for this period
>She has unleashed the inner Tard warrior within tard
>Tard ******* kicks the tard guard in the stomach with the force of 1000 suns
>Other tards start going *******
>One tard grabs a volleyball, chucks it at her tard guard
>First tard turns into Tardicus, Thu'ums something in the ancient tongue of the Tardians
>Security arrives, tries to restrain Tardicus
>Tardicus- GRAWGHEUPFFTARUGHH
>Must be some sort of tard cry for help, another tard goes to help Tardicus


#99 to #75 - worldofwarcraftdog
Reply +2
(01/09/2012) [-]
Comment Picture

#76 to #75 - TigerMann
Reply +20
(01/09/2012) [-]
>By now, all the security officers that were sent down are trying to stop Tardicus alone
>The tards are completely outnumbered, like 12 to 1 >Tards hold off the tard guards and security for a good 7 minutes
>More security officers arrive
>They all hold down Tardicus
>Tardicus runs out of energy, collapses from exhaustion
>My gym class has been cowering in the corner
>He's kicked out of school
>mfw this entire thing unfolded
#105 - ccowman
Reply +20
(01/09/2012) [-]
>9th grade pe
>just shooting hoops with my friends when this tard comes up to us
>doesnt say anything, just stares
>walk to other side of gym, try to ditch tard
>tard notices, runs after us
>oh god, we all start sprinting away
>tard lets out battle cry and sprints with all his tard speed
>tackles my friend to the ground with the force of a god damn freight train
>dont look back, just keep running
#119 to #105 - goshua
Reply +10
(01/09/2012) [-]
did...did he live?
#254 to #119 - TigerMann
Reply +2
(01/09/2012) [-]
He got tackles by a tard, his chances are limited.
#44 - kingofnewyork
Reply +19
(01/08/2012) [-]
Dude these never get old. **** the frontpage, this is where the funny **** is at!
Dude these never get old. **** the frontpage, this is where the funny **** is at!
#66 - gloogy
Reply +13
(01/08/2012) [-]
>be 6th grade
>7th grade tard walking behind me
>I think nothing of it.
>Tard then Proceeds to slide his hand down my ass crack like a credit card machine
>Avoid tards at all costs since then.
#67 to #66 - gloogy
Reply +18
(01/08/2012) [-]
Another Story
>be 7th grade
>Same tard now in 8th grade walks behind me
>Scared for my life
>He puts my hood over my head and grabs my nose
> he then proceeds to pinch my nose until it bleeds
>then he drags me down the hall by my bleeding nose
>I punch him in the face the hardest ive ever punched anyone.
>Break his nose.
>I got in trouble
**** the system
#106 to #67 - qazzuiop
Reply +8
(01/09/2012) [-]
you can't trust the system... MAAANNN
#16 - strawhatandrews
Reply +18
(01/08/2012) [-]
one does not simply dislike these posts... I DEMAND MOAR!!!
#164 - unprdctbl
Reply +16
(01/09/2012) [-]
>Be me after reading tons of tard stories   
>Going to the bathroom   
>Walk in and see local tard drop his pants down to his ankles and expose his bare ass to take a piss in the urinal   
>NOPE.jpg   
> Immediately turn around and walk the **** out before some crazy **** goes down.   
   
This happened to me at school on Friday. I'm never using a public bathroom again.
>Be me after reading tons of tard stories
>Going to the bathroom
>Walk in and see local tard drop his pants down to his ankles and expose his bare ass to take a piss in the urinal
>NOPE.jpg
> Immediately turn around and walk the **** out before some crazy **** goes down.

This happened to me at school on Friday. I'm never using a public bathroom again.
#127 - SynysterAlbrecht
Reply +16
(01/09/2012) [-]
>8th Grade
>Lunch Time
>Walking with really hot girl I've liked since 6th Grade
>She's laughing at all my jokes
>Tard comes out of nowhere and starts hitting on her
>I politely tell him to back off
>He doesn't
>Starts calling her "tha sexciist thing" he's ever seen
>She is obviously very uncomfortable so I tell him he really needs to **** off
>Starts hugging her and says to me "whatchu guna do about it gay boy"
>I push him off of her
>He tries to get tough and pulls up his fists like he's gonna hit me
>Throws a swing at me but misses and hits the girl
>I whoop his ass
>He gets 100 day suspension and I get 2 days of in-house
>Girl and I start dating
How the **** am I going to explain to everyone that we're dating because I beat the **** out of a tard.
#173 to #127 - joshuah
Reply +7
(01/09/2012) [-]
a 100 day suspension for the retard? that is worse than the sane people at my school would get.