Perfect crime. . File: _ KB,. 4151352. Gunfag) hey he sci have the perfect crime. my is e random and he is the biggest fuel: ess en this planet. what if we get
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Perfect crime

File: _ KB,. 4151352. Gunfag)
hey he
sci have the perfect crime. my is e random and he is the
biggest fuel: ess en this planet. what if we get really dents we night (or at
least he did) and he passes cut and l get a this cf his bleed. I then freeze
bullets cf New in a mm and then sheet him with the hum New
bullets. the bleed melts in his Body, no , no evidence.
what does ml think?
we are the my have ever seen
...
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Views: 38361
Favorited: 90
Submitted: 03/21/2012
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Comments(216):

[ 216 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#2 - jingleforth (03/21/2012) [-]
That wouldn't work.   
   
Ice bullets have been tested and the pressure and heat when shooting the bullets melts them.
That wouldn't work.

Ice bullets have been tested and the pressure and heat when shooting the bullets melts them.
#95 to #2 - anon (03/22/2012) [-]
Or the ice just breaks when the bullet actually shoots? Guns aren't that far off from canon actually, same concept.
#166 - anon (03/22/2012) [-]
Beat him over the head with a chicken, then cook the chicken and feed it to the cops.

Cops already like you because you gave them chicken, plus no murder weapon.
#177 to #166 - kaarvaag (03/22/2012) [-]
I saw something like that in a Donald Duck magazine years ago! But yeah,would probably work
#185 to #166 - anon (03/22/2012) [-]
that idea is from an old story, those cops must be retarded in order to eat that thing
User avatar #173 to #166 - sillygirlie (03/22/2012) [-]
genious.
#175 to #166 - jimothyjenkins (03/22/2012) [-]
good 			****		 anon. i like it alot
good **** anon. i like it alot
#174 to #166 - anon (03/22/2012) [-]
You read 'Lamb to the slaughter' ? That's pretty much the story line of that short story.
+2
#184 to #174 - giganiggabutthurt **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #131 - taxation (03/22/2012) [-]
mythbusters tested ice bullets. didnt work. i assume then that neither would blood bullets, except against a crip.
#14 - crafty badger (03/21/2012) [-]
Got 300 bucks and want to kill a man? TOO ******* BAD YOU BROKE CUNT GO MAKE MONEY, KILLIN' AIN'T CHEAP BITCH. Buy gold, 24k you ******* cheap bastard. Turn that **** into powder, ALL OF IT, use a mortar and pestle and the strength of ten men. Put ALL TAHT **** in an acidic drink like coke or OJ, tell your victim to chug it all at once.

Gold poisoning, it ******* works. Not detectable on poison test kits, only on the most obscure heavy metal detection test can see it.

Kill bitches like a pimp.
0
#245 to #14 - dodihamad **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#16 to #14 - hastyhead (03/22/2012) [-]
....Favorited.... pokerface.jpg
#42 to #14 - joemeister (03/22/2012) [-]
reminded me of this.
reminded me of this.
#69 to #14 - crafty badger (03/22/2012) [-]
I think I just created a crime spree....


#157 to #69 - geraldbostock (03/22/2012) [-]
You are now officially responsible.
User avatar #51 to #14 - atvdude (03/22/2012) [-]
the amount of favorites on this comment is disturbing.
#30 - antistar (03/22/2012) [-]
Why don't you just make an icicle out of his blood, then just stab him with it?
User avatar #49 to #30 - katiegirl (03/22/2012) [-]
Doesn't have to be his blood, just has to be O- blood to work.
#32 to #30 - zombiefacepuncher (03/22/2012) [-]
you would still need alot of blood
User avatar #197 - wrought (03/22/2012) [-]
What about hitting him with a frozen leg of lamb, and then cooking and eating it? I heard that from somewhere, not sure where...
User avatar #203 to #197 - sphincter (03/22/2012) [-]
Lamb to Slaughter- Roald Dahl
User avatar #206 to #203 - wrought (03/22/2012) [-]
Thank you good sir.
User avatar #88 - tailsx (03/22/2012) [-]
>Freeze a big T-bone steak
>hit him in the back of the head with steak
>cook steak
>???
>profit
User avatar #126 to #88 - sookmaybowls (03/22/2012) [-]
I love that story.
User avatar #143 to #88 - mrevitcartta ONLINE (03/22/2012) [-]
Roald Dahl wrote that right? But it was a Lamb Leg or something?
#119 to #88 - anon (03/22/2012) [-]
Also the part where he wants a divorce.
User avatar #111 to #88 - DatsNoMoon (03/22/2012) [-]
You forgot the part where you feed it to the police.
User avatar #18 - bionicpanda (03/22/2012) [-]
1. buy frozen lamb leg.
2. knock victim out with it
3. cook it.
4. when police come, ask if there hungry
5. they eat it.
6. no evidence
The perfect crime.
User avatar #25 to #18 - oxYKellark (03/22/2012) [-]
******* already been done
User avatar #21 to #18 - Metalsmash (03/22/2012) [-]
Yogscast?
#189 to #21 - Moog (03/22/2012) [-]
I AM DAVE1 YOGNAU(GH)T AND I HAVE THE BALLS :3
I AM DAVE1 YOGNAU(GH)T AND I HAVE THE BALLS :3
User avatar #61 to #18 - friednazi ONLINE (03/22/2012) [-]
1. Come home from a long day of work.
2. Drink a lot.
3. Let wife go to make dinner after deciding not to go out.
4. Die.
User avatar #20 to #18 - kodaself (03/22/2012) [-]
Lamb to the Slaughter by Roald Dahl
#31 to #20 - fozism (03/22/2012) [-]
Beat me to it. 			*******		 loved that story.   
   
<--- pic slightly related.
Beat me to it. ******* loved that story.

<--- pic slightly related.
User avatar #36 to #20 - bionicpanda (03/22/2012) [-]
Exactly :)
User avatar #38 to #36 - kodaself (03/22/2012) [-]
Except that in the story she didn't buy a frozen lamb leg, she had it in the deepfreeze.
User avatar #13 - ROFL (03/21/2012) [-]
just when hes drunk enough and falls asleep
you take an empty syringe and inject oxygen into his vein
that should stop his heart ,
if that doesn't work then try sewing his asshole shut , next time he wants to fart or to **** it's gonna be really funny
User avatar #19 to #13 - justsomechickyo (03/22/2012) [-]
How does one go about sewing assholes shut anyways???
User avatar #199 to #19 - LykonBluhd (03/22/2012) [-]
needle and thread yo
User avatar #231 to #199 - justsomechickyo (03/22/2012) [-]
Well you'd think so.......but I don't really think it would work quite like that, i guess im no doctor but whatever
#23 to #13 - childcatcher (03/22/2012) [-]
I wasn't with you until "sweing his asshole shut"
User avatar #15 to #13 - honeybiscuit (03/22/2012) [-]
I was with you until "sewing his asshole shut."
#191 - klaatu (03/22/2012) [-]
Wrong.

Upon firing the weapon the frozen bullets would become liquid. Effectively just pissing blood over him.
#198 to #191 - PunkKid (03/22/2012) [-]
Exactly :) If anything the "Blood bullets" would need to be fired from a gas powered cannon of some sorts
#208 to #198 - Thescottman (03/22/2012) [-]
didn't they prove that sort of thing with ice bullets on mythbusters
User avatar #214 to #208 - blacktay (03/22/2012) [-]
They proved, in fact, that you can use " frosted meat bullets" to kill someone, as it's more resistant than ice.
#37 - jeffellis (03/22/2012) [-]
&lt;----- MFW when i try it and it works.
<----- MFW when i try it and it works.
#226 - enlil (03/22/2012) [-]
I'd do it with class, faggots:
-Get 20 packs of painkillers
-get all the painkillers into a bowl
-add water, mix
-make a really big painkiller from the outcome of that process
-set it on a table
-wait in a dresser till the faggot comes home
-he'll see it and say "oh **** , that's a big ass painkiller"
-i jump out of dresser and stab the ******

PERFECT CRIME
#86 - tenderpoop (03/22/2012) [-]
"My roomate is a random"

"Roomate is a random"

"Is a random"



WAT
User avatar #107 to #86 - froghole (03/22/2012) [-]
he was put with a roommate in college that was chosen by the school and not him.
User avatar #110 to #107 - tenderpoop (03/22/2012) [-]
Well still he should've said my roommate is a random guy >.>
User avatar #112 to #110 - froghole (03/22/2012) [-]
i don't think it really matters how he puts it as long as the point gets across.
#113 to #112 - tenderpoop (03/22/2012) [-]
Ok it is a damn joke -.- and I think the 5 thumbs agree that the point is NOT across through the minds of people.

But since you want to put down the joke you sir are an asshole and forever will be and asshole
User avatar #115 to #113 - froghole (03/22/2012) [-]
i guess i failed to see your joke. also the 5 thumbs are all from people that clearly aren't old enough to have been to college. so they are meaningless.
#116 to #115 - tenderpoop (03/22/2012) [-]
Ok that is not the point the point is he said roommate is random that doesn't sound right wither you are old enough to be in college or not and the joke is pointing it out and if I didn't get the point of it and other should agree again it is a joke not to be serious i'm not a damn grammar nazi cause this whole paragraph is a run-on sentence but again not the point don't ruin jokes when it is a joke don't like just thumb it down mhmk thanks
#195 - spycheckingpyro (03/22/2012) [-]
i hate to say this to everyone, but most detectives can figure out the icicle trick since people now know about it and well... it's their job to know these kind of things. eliminating the murder weapon because it melts is about as effective as just stabbing them, moving the knife to another location and tossing it in the dumpster. if you were using gloves, there's no finger prints anyways. just burn them with the clothes that got blood on them   
   
people put too much time thinking of cartoon style methods of murder when simply shooting someone in the back of the head with no witnesses when hide the casing, wear gloves to hide finger prints if you're already on file and they're saved, and stay at a distance where blood won't splatter back onto you. effective solutions to practical problems. eliminating enough evidence to convict you is all you need
i hate to say this to everyone, but most detectives can figure out the icicle trick since people now know about it and well... it's their job to know these kind of things. eliminating the murder weapon because it melts is about as effective as just stabbing them, moving the knife to another location and tossing it in the dumpster. if you were using gloves, there's no finger prints anyways. just burn them with the clothes that got blood on them

people put too much time thinking of cartoon style methods of murder when simply shooting someone in the back of the head with no witnesses when hide the casing, wear gloves to hide finger prints if you're already on file and they're saved, and stay at a distance where blood won't splatter back onto you. effective solutions to practical problems. eliminating enough evidence to convict you is all you need
0
#211 to #195 - ponyboyi **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#213 to #195 - defesede (03/22/2012) [-]
"but most detectives can figure out the icicle trick since people now know about it and well... it's their job to know these kind of things"
Ice bullets don't work, they melt as soon as the powder ignite
User avatar #243 to #213 - spycheckingpyro (03/23/2012) [-]
hardened ice as a blade. not a bullet. that's just ridiculous
User avatar #244 to #243 - defesede (03/23/2012) [-]
In that case, you are right.
User avatar #28 - stopdropandroll ONLINE (03/22/2012) [-]
>get portal gun
>create endless loop of falling in a room
>let them continue endlessly falling for a few hours
>when moon is out, shoot portal at it
#147 - Flammenwerfer (03/22/2012) [-]
Just by reading the comments I've learned how to theoretically kill people in several different ways.

WHAT I LEARNED ON FJ TODAY IS....!!
#187 - kingofunnyjunk ONLINE (03/22/2012) [-]
#125 - bazda (03/22/2012) [-]
1.Fill propane tank, gas grill size.
2.Duct tape a **** ton of roofing nails around the outside.
3.Sit it on his front porch.
4.Sit about 200 yards away with a BOLT ACTION rifle. Hollow point rounds.
5.Get partner in crime to doorbell ditch.
6.Door opes, BANG....KABOOM! dead guy.

The cops will be able to piece together what happened, but there is no real evidence against you. The hollow point will fragment beyond recognition when it hits the tank, and it explodes, leaving no slug to run ballistics on. DO NOT rack your bolt, and destroy the spent shell ASAP. Doorbell ringer must wear gloves.

This is the kinda **** that I think about sometimes.
User avatar #127 to #125 - oceanmist (03/22/2012) [-]
Too bad propane tanks don't explode when shot. They tear instead of fragment. Even if you used tracer rounds it would only be a jet of flame that makes the tank fly, and probably not lethal unless you got lucky.
#129 to #127 - bazda (03/22/2012) [-]
So you use an aluminum SCUBA tank filled with propane, same thing.
#133 to #129 - johndoebbbnnnmmm (03/22/2012) [-]
that wouldn't work either

User avatar #141 to #133 - Shadow Guardian (03/22/2012) [-]
Use C4.
#142 to #141 - johndoebbbnnnmmm (03/22/2012) [-]
now we are getting somewhere we just need a blast big enough to destroy all the evidence yet small enough to be able to contain it

#149 - zhaffy (03/22/2012) [-]
>> Kill Middle-Easterners
>> Apologise
>>No War Crime
>> Perfect crime?
User avatar #152 to #149 - musclemarinade ONLINE (03/22/2012) [-]
Only good thing about the taliban is that they die every single attack :)
User avatar #182 to #152 - twothcoopth (03/22/2012) [-]
im pretty sure there is nothing good about the Taliban
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