ITT: Sex stories. . with friend at totalt/ mm/ theatre we half black chick Exchange numbers jpg he and met of day Hells us , rhea a huge heme ttf use making use
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ITT: Sex stories

with friend at totalt/ mm/ theatre
we half black chick
Exchange numbers
jpg
he and met of day
Hells us ,
rhea a huge ******* heme
ttf use making use
fugate hat and heavy
tame
needs ta use the Evan
str/ it/
shear fleet door when
HGIH ****
earning dawn the hall
the arcane hardener
huge
s a ******* linebacker hr the, meal team
e moment tn register, balm to spout off meat ********* new
Hearing for my We
jumps in between my tatt and herded
Maya we' re gay. and ear parents we (this we in the south)
calms deem
auger can with it
bulets ea get changed
blew us to last of family later
realy nice people
ewe us centuries and Aeneid Palmer
Mohave ta act my and Hit
Mohave tta kin friend new and again
bath's gees en for three were
any ******* face when were been a ' s daughter hr 3 were while trey think we' re gay
******* face when Arnold Palmer
...
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Views: 82684
Favorited: 408
Submitted: 07/09/2012
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Comments(537):

[ 537 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#1 - SnacksJr (07/09/2012) [-]
Sex stories? Ok here is mine!

>
>
>
>
>
>mfw
User avatar #2 to #1 - evilfederation (07/09/2012) [-]
well played.
#23 to #1 - hemming (07/09/2012) [-]
>Be me
>Have sex
>Mfw

Amidoingitright?
#421 - xMasterofpuppetsx (07/10/2012) [-]
This image has expired
>Be in college
>Meet cute southern girl, named Jean
>We met in class, exchanged smiles, and eventually she added me on FB
>We chat occasionally, nothing serious
>One day, i come home to my dorm, and her and my roommate Billy are making out on my couch
> I am hurt, because cute girls rarely talk to me
>Months pass, and i have to see her making out with my roommate Billy.
>I am devastated
>One night, i come home after a long shift, and she is crying
>Apparently her grandmother died, and Billy went out to grab some beers
>I console her, she gets close and tells me she has always liked me
>Raging boner initiated
>We start kissing, she gets closer
>As soon as i start unbuttoning her shirt, her boyfriend walks in
>all i can say is
>"Billy, Jean is not my lover"
#459 to #421 - Rascal (07/10/2012) [-]
Dear god that was amazing, thumb for you sir
#117 - Digitalphear ONLINE (07/09/2012) [-]
This image has expired
>be 6 foot 10 linebacker for the local football team
>going out of town for vacation
>get to airport, realize I forgot passport
>get back home, see two kids in my daughters room
>begin to spout off my great ******** rage
>daughter jumps inbetween us
>says they're gay and their parents are unsupportive
>my ******** rage begins to calm
>introduce them to the rest of my family
>offer them cookies and Arnold Palmer
>go to kitchen
>take cookies
>rub cookies all over my big fat meaty ****** dick
>pour them Arnold Palmer
>masturbate into the cups
>bring delicious cock cookies and Arnold Semen back to them
>my ******* face when i've been feeding them cock cookies and Arnold Semen for 3 years
>my ******* face when Arnold Semen

#160 to #117 - purplecupcakes (07/09/2012) [-]
I think you just won the internet
#169 to #117 - chaoticlaw ONLINE (07/09/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
#72 - KungFuZerO (07/09/2012) [-]
>Be father
>slutty daughter
>I am disappoint
>Catch her about to **** two guys
>Lets them have sex, she could do worse
>Laugh my ass off when they pretend to be gay and kiss each other
#564 to #72 - kouzan (07/10/2012) [-]
The dad.
#556 to #72 - dasbrot (07/10/2012) [-]
THIS GUY.
#495 - Rascal (07/10/2012) [-]
**anonymous rolled a random image posted in comment #406 at Fucking Opinions ** >BE 24
>Be online
>see sex stories online
>think of sex story
>say sex story happened to me
>add (obscure detail) to story
>sex story goes wrong
>things go right because im badass in the story
>MFW (obscure detail)
#496 to #495 - Rascal (07/10/2012) [-]
This is the most relevant roll I've seen yet...
+64
#402 - pineapplenipples **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#241 - ZakyNine (07/09/2012) [-]
>be 14
>surrounded by 2/10s to 5/10s all day
>play video games all day everyday
>Iregretnothing.gif
#197 - cameronward (07/09/2012) [-]
**cameronward rolled a random image posted in comment #6540247 at FJ Pony Thread ** dads face when he walks in
User avatar #203 to #197 - NickReydonJones (07/09/2012) [-]
hello peoples, my name is pewdiepie
#206 to #203 - jimmiesberustled (07/09/2012) [-]
"Ho-ho-how's it going, bros? My name... is PEWDIEPIE!"
#271 to #197 - superowned (07/09/2012) [-]
**superowned rolled a random image posted in comment #6529591 at FJ Pony Thread ** mfw you nailed it with pure luck
#113 - klondikemonster (07/09/2012) [-]
!!Hold on to your pants, kids!!!

>Be me, 16 years old
>Hand looks mighty pleasing
>You know how this ends.
#106 - ishotthedeputy (07/09/2012) [-]
>Be 10
>Life sucks. Parents ignore me, leave me with bitchy babysitter
>On top of it, I'm in love with this girl
>Nothing but doom and gloom up in my room
>Get these fish
>But in reality they are my odd parents, fairly odd parents
>Can't wish for love, though
>mfw
User avatar #114 to #106 - daringdestiny (07/09/2012) [-]
that made me laugh, congradulations
#60 - hickerydickery (07/09/2012) [-]
>Be me.   
>Nothing happens at all.
>Be me.
>Nothing happens at all.
User avatar #70 to #60 - psychonaut (07/09/2012) [-]
Our stories are very similar.
User avatar #52 to #39 - letmetellyouastory (07/09/2012) [-]
I saw it coming, but still funny.
#55 to #39 - reactderp (07/09/2012) [-]
GOD DAMMIT MAN
#302 to #39 - fisherthewaffle (07/09/2012) [-]
I've seen that movie so many times, but the greentext version makes it more depressing
#579 to #39 - Rascal (07/30/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #42 to #39 - cwilkens (07/09/2012) [-]
soon as I saw the "Your kid" i got it. But thanks for the /b/ gold
#54 to #39 - moarpony (07/09/2012) [-]
I love your face. It deserves all my lovings.
User avatar #48 to #39 - neonthethird (07/09/2012) [-]
i got it ad 1 friend that got shot and died... how the **** ?...
User avatar #69 to #39 - thatevanguy (07/09/2012) [-]
Is it wrong I knew it was Forest Gump halfway through?
User avatar #274 to #69 - filozof (07/09/2012) [-]
Why would it be wrong? FG is a masterpiece
#53 to #39 - unncommon (07/09/2012) [-]
ITT: Forest Gump quotes
"Momma used to take me out back, beat me with a rubber hose and call me a retard."
User avatar #447 to #53 - spinsser (07/10/2012) [-]
"If God Made us equal, we'd all have leg supporters" (or something like that) - Forest's Mother.

that is pretty much the only thing I remember clearly from the movie (other than "Run Forrest, Run")
User avatar #40 to #39 - duile (07/09/2012) [-]
Dammit you got me
User avatar #21 - mattyicy (07/09/2012) [-]
13??!!!! at 13!?!?!?
I was riding bikes and getting into trouble, not to much trouble, but trouble at the age of 13. I then met this guy who asked if i wanted to play baseball with him and his friends. (I didnt know how to play but I needed new friends) So i tried to play but i sucked they all made fun of me except for the guy who asked me to play. he was super cool. we then lost the only baseball over the neighbors fence. (big ******* dog in there) Saw tits at the pool and then got good at baseball. the end.

User avatar #26 to #21 - hipsophobadon (07/09/2012) [-]
Thats a lot of reading. But yea bikes and trouble at 13 i agree
#294 to #21 - fisherthewaffle (07/09/2012) [-]
**fisherthewaffle rolled a random image posted in comment #6695488 at FJ Pony Thread ** MFW Sandlot
User avatar #34 to #21 - hhhghhg (07/09/2012) [-]
******* sandlot
User avatar #25 to #21 - BLOCKATIEL ONLINE (07/09/2012) [-]
Took me a second...I like you.
#33 to #25 - Jowi (07/09/2012) [-]
**** what film is this!
User avatar #36 to #33 - BLOCKATIEL ONLINE (07/09/2012) [-]
Sandlot.
User avatar #90 to #25 - mattyicy (07/09/2012) [-]
Thanks
User avatar #22 to #21 - Noah (07/09/2012) [-]
I like that movie
#370 - Rascal (07/09/2012) [-]
>Be 17.
>Indulging in sex with girlfriend, she moans, because she compensates for not being able to talk.
>Be going about it for a while.
>She keeps texting someone.
>Get ******* pissed because she's texting people during sex.
>Finally stop and ask who she's texting.
>She's texting her Mom, who is asking her to stop moaning.
>Still can't look her parents in the eyes.
#425 to #370 - onezeroeight (07/10/2012) [-]
>Be 18
>Banging girlfriend upstairs in my room while my parents are downstairs
>She's a screamer
>Give her pillow and tell to to cover her mouth with it or shut up
>Get text
> **** it i'm busy, it can wait
>Finish
>Check text
>Pops: "Turn your TV or music up"
>Show girlfriend
>She laughs her ass off
>SDGAF
>Best Girl ever
>Doesnt matter, had sex. And D's. At 15 years old
>I'm a chester
User avatar #433 to #425 - theoriginalajax (07/10/2012) [-]
ur 18 and she's 15, thats illegal dawg
User avatar #435 to #433 - onezeroeight (07/10/2012) [-]
She wasn't at the time. But she did have D's at 15 years old
User avatar #437 to #435 - theoriginalajax (07/10/2012) [-]
ooohhh thats what you ment then nvm
#534 to #433 - davajz (07/10/2012) [-]
doesnt have to be illegal, dude
#319 - thesadness (07/09/2012) [-]
>be about 7 or 8    
>hanging out with friend at beach   
>get home from swimming   
>rinse off in same outdoor shower    
>he proceeds to show how his dick gets bigger when he shakes it   
>i do the same   
>this goes on for minutes while parents are outside listening   
>mfw I remember all this at age 17
>be about 7 or 8
>hanging out with friend at beach
>get home from swimming
>rinse off in same outdoor shower
>he proceeds to show how his dick gets bigger when he shakes it
>i do the same
>this goes on for minutes while parents are outside listening
>mfw I remember all this at age 17
User avatar #230 - crazybastard (07/09/2012) [-]
> be 13
> do normal 13 year old ****
User avatar #249 to #230 - exotic (07/09/2012) [-]
I know that feel
#88 - thethread (07/09/2012) [-]
I had threesome once.   
   
   
   
it was when I just used both hands.
I had threesome once.



it was when I just used both hands.
User avatar #453 to #88 - mrthezho (07/10/2012) [-]
Epic gif
#471 to #453 - thethread (07/10/2012) [-]
Not mine, unfortunately I don't remember who made it.... Wherever you are, WHOever you are... Thank you, you magnificent bastard.
#224 to #88 - Haiku (07/09/2012) [-]
At least you're able to use two hands...
#59 - billymaize (07/09/2012) [-]
alright here we go
>senior in high school
>still a virgin
>got a 8/10 date to prom
>girl wanted thai food for dinner before dance
>not really my thing, but i said whatever
>food didn't sit well with me
>leave dance early and drive somewhere secluded in my car
>i get her in the back with the seats down and take off her dress
>bout to get laid
>feelsgoodman.jpg
>my stomach is still upset from the asian food
>as soon as she gets fully naked i throw up all over her
>she thinks i threw up because i saw her naked
#4 - hakusprite **User deleted account** (07/09/2012) [-]
>getting head from girlfriend
>puts her finger up my butt
>licks my butt

Not that scary but it scared the **** outta me.
User avatar #11 to #4 - jtwagner (07/09/2012) [-]
I'm sure she was very surprised.
#315 - Rascal (07/09/2012) [-]
>Be 13   
>Play Gameboy because that's what normal 13 year olds do
>Be 13
>Play Gameboy because that's what normal 13 year olds do
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