I'm sorry, penis. . sstill in wizard school dmeet legal weman online Holder BBW, desperate for dick ppic leeks maybe 30, , 5/ 10. tthat' ll do, pig. that' ll do
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I'm sorry, penis

sstill in wizard school
dmeet legal weman online
Holder BBW, desperate for dick
ppic leeks maybe 30, , 5/ 10.
tthat' ll do, pig. that' ll do.
dmeet up at my place
leeks mere late , , 2/ 10
sshe can still suck my dick
fawful bi, just sucking hard and yanking en a limp dick like she' s trying to a lawnmower
aok, enough of that...
sshe wants me to "return the favor"
nstrips off her panties
tthe feelest stench is in the air
tthe funk of 40, 000 years
dinner Beta attempts deflect that **** ... "no, we came here to **** ..."
grins, hands me a condom
append many unsexy minutes attempting to put the balloon en a limp and retreating dick
enough
sshe lays back en my bed
***** I need to wash my sheets
ddick is trying to retreat inside my abdomen
islap it back to attention... you die like a Marine soldier
ccan' t find the ******* vag
and hair everywhere, any of them could be the pussy
epick a slit at random and hump it for a while
dick semes out of fear
suddenly... phone call
ait' s werk... emergency... they need me
appologize, tell herl have to
sshe gets right pissed
pacreams at me that I' m "throwing away a good thing."
gtfa
again
arun out of hot water
doggod I can still smell it en me
m sew penis, please forgive me
apenis refuses to talk to me for weeks
to never **** anything less than a 6 ever again frigalt
...
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Views: 91188
Favorited: 390
Submitted: 04/17/2013
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Comments(240):

[ 240 comments ]
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#17 - zerogenocide **User deleted account** (04/17/2013) [-]
>Slap it back to attention... you die like a marine soldier
>Slap it back to attention... you die like a marine soldier
User avatar #169 to #17 - colrod (04/18/2013) [-]
so many sides must have imploded with the force of a thousand suns at this point
#2 - schnizel (04/17/2013) [-]
>the foulest stench is in the air   
>the funk of 40, 000 years
>the foulest stench is in the air
>the funk of 40, 000 years
User avatar #161 to #2 - thelegitmetalhead (04/18/2013) [-]
I read this yesterday and jut now got the reference
******* lol'd
#24 to #2 - paintplayer (04/18/2013) [-]
MFW this is from Vincent Price's speech in Thriller
#14 - jimthesquirrelking (04/17/2013) [-]
"that'll do pig. that'll do"
#7 - bandal (04/17/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #181 to #7 - aswimmingnigger (04/18/2013) [-]
she got enough sauce but what is the source for this?
User avatar #174 to #7 - thice (04/18/2013) [-]
i have always wondered.. is that all fat? or an sickly extended stomach?
User avatar #187 to #174 - nebuchadnezzaurus (04/18/2013) [-]
Actually an interesting topic. Have you seen what's called a "steroid gut"? That's the kind of big stomach, but with actual abs, that some professional bodybuilders get later in their career. It develops due to the fact that steroids make for rapid growth of not only muscle tissue, but also internal organs - so to make room for them, the stomach has to expand. I think this might be the case here, too - though much of it is still fat, of course.
User avatar #33 to #7 - drenforcicle (04/18/2013) [-]
I....
There is no appropriate response to this for the amount of disgust I have right now.
#119 to #7 - xDarkness (04/18/2013) [-]
ALL I FEEL IS RAGE
User avatar #11 to #7 - huffe ONLINE (04/17/2013) [-]
people like this deserve to die from diabeetus
User avatar #188 to #11 - nebuchadnezzaurus (04/18/2013) [-]
I don't agree when people say someone should die because of their fatness. If you said "Anders Breivik should die", then I MIGHT agree with you.
#202 to #188 - henkstr (04/18/2013) [-]
Anders Breivik shouldn't die
User avatar #204 to #202 - nebuchadnezzaurus (04/18/2013) [-]
Yes, nobody should die, but some people should be duly punished for their crimes
User avatar #228 to #188 - huffe ONLINE (04/18/2013) [-]
why should he die? he did norway a big favor when he cleansed that island
User avatar #229 to #228 - nebuchadnezzaurus (04/18/2013) [-]
With that level of subtlety, you may find better luck trolling people on Justin Bieber forums
User avatar #233 to #229 - huffe ONLINE (04/18/2013) [-]
but to be honest one of the girls involved in that incident went to my school last. it made me smile every time i saw her. in the papers she looked soo sad, but irl she looked happy, as usual. the thought of her faking it was a little funny to me
#10 - stallwallwriter (04/17/2013) [-]
"You die like a Marine"   
My 			*******		 ribs
"You die like a Marine"
My ******* ribs
#55 - xDarkness (04/18/2013) [-]
"mightbejesus"   
   
this whole post made my day.
"mightbejesus"

this whole post made my day.
#41 - deathofnight (04/18/2013) [-]
11/10 would read again
11/10 would read again
User avatar #22 - RockyTheEvilRock (04/17/2013) [-]
i think we are all missing the fact that this guy is a wizzard
#226 to #22 - anon (04/18/2013) [-]
Wizard school means he's a virgin, they consider virgins above 30 years old to be wizards.
#21 - noobofdoom (04/17/2013) [-]
"Slap it back to attention... you die like a marine soldier"
#65 - williamweatherford (04/18/2013) [-]
> the foulest stench is in the air   
> the funk of 40,000 years   
   
I'm diggin' that Thriller reference
> the foulest stench is in the air
> the funk of 40,000 years

I'm diggin' that Thriller reference
#160 - antigravitycake (04/18/2013) [-]
>meet desperate fat woman   
   
>then his beta side comes out
>meet desperate fat woman

>then his beta side comes out
#140 - pappathethird (04/18/2013) [-]
This post is perfect from beginning to end.

Pic kinda reelated
#28 - sirbrentcoe (04/18/2013) [-]
die like a marine... holy **** my front, back, side-to-side....
#167 - taye (04/18/2013) [-]
Penis, I...
#158 - sheperdofthestars (04/18/2013) [-]
"The foulest stench is in the air, the funk of 40,000 years"
"The foulest stench is in the air, the funk of 40,000 years"
User avatar #179 - ScaredWhiteBoy (04/18/2013) [-]
Here's my story. It happened a few months ago and it's very similar....
> Be 26 y/o freshly single 7/10 beta
> Busy as **** with work, school and training for fire academy
> Decide it's been too long since I got any poon
> Go on dating website
> Talking to 4 or 5 chicks, nothing serous, hard to make time
> get outta class early one night
> Trouser banana NEEDS to get sugar glazed
> Get online, hit up every chick i have ever talked to
> Only get an answer from 1.
> 7/10 nerd looking cutie who is little bit chubby in the face.
> James Bond level charm activated
> She agrees to "hang out", but she wants me to come to her place
> That's fine... I'm gonna rage like a bull and she can treat the survivors
> Get to her house, knock on door
> Smelly shirtless hippy answers the door
> "Hey you must be Scaredwhiteboy C'mon in duuuude"
> Walk into "Rick James' Crack Den and Reptile Emporium"
> 4 room mates passed out on couch 1 playing videa games
> dude tells me my date will be right with me
> brain screaming run for the hills
> corque screaming nasty sexual slurs
> Make small talk about turtles with strung out hippies
User avatar #180 to #179 - ScaredWhiteBoy (04/18/2013) [-]
....Cont
> Date comes out.... wtf.jpg
> 2/10 300lb stoner chick with bad acne IRL
> # ***********************************
> hippies all watch me make walk of shame to her bedroom
> In bedroom she's eating pizza
> leans in and starts kissing me
> grabs my trundle
> HFW -------> lol nope
> ask for bj
> Turrible burning head (she had apparently been eating hot wings)
> Shooting pool with rope
> Want to leave want to leave want to leave want to leave
> She asks me if I will eat her out and takes off her pants
> The stench I'm blind
> Say, " why don't we **** instead"
> She says "awe man why don't guys ever want to reciprocate"
> 4 the record I ******* love eating pussy, but I payed allot for lunch that day
> there was no ******* way I was going down there
> Try to just fuk her ******
> Shooting pool with a rope
> Close eyes think of your happy place
User avatar #182 to #180 - ScaredWhiteBoy (04/18/2013) [-]
Cont 2...
> Pile drive that **** , finish like a champ on her fat rolls
> "Wanna snuggle SWB?"
> Nah I gotta get going
> Ok call me
> Ran for the hills
> On the way out stoner says, "take care SWB, I'll see you next week"
> Oh no you won't
> Stopped at my gym on the way home
> showered 6 times to get the stench out
> still smelled the next day
> have been contemplating suicide ever since.
User avatar #190 to #182 - paradox (04/18/2013) [-]
im so sorry.
#245 to #182 - goonmcnasty (04/19/2013) [-]
I read the first part, and then thumbed all three parts before reading on.

You have given us gold.
#247 to #182 - bokkos (04/20/2013) [-]
Psst. Dude. Take this and post your story for the world to see. You deserve it after such an ordeal.
User avatar #248 to #247 - ScaredWhiteBoy (04/21/2013) [-]
Be my guest dude. Its pretty gay when you post your own comments. Just give me DEDS
and post it on my profile so I see it.
+13
#178 - russianbro has deleted their comment [-]
#149 - kingoflulzfool (04/18/2013) [-]
LMFAO , you die like a marine, soldier! SWEET JESUS
LMFAO , you die like a marine, soldier! SWEET JESUS
#147 - mrdrpage (04/18/2013) [-]
If 30 and 200lbs is 5/10, what the 			****		 is 1/10?
If 30 and 200lbs is 5/10, what the **** is 1/10?
#231 to #147 - elcreepo ONLINE (04/18/2013) [-]
I'm not entirely sure this is human.
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