I Can't Believe It's Not Butter. . File: . jpg-( 1 19 KB, 500x375, rawbutter. jpg) I / CE/ 14( Sat) 09: 12 No. 14421216 dies awe inherent her house sshe always
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I Can't Believe It's Not Butter

File: . jpg-( 1 19 KB, 500x375, rawbutter. jpg)
I / CE/ 14( Sat) 09: 12 No. 14421216
dies
awe inherent her house
sshe always used to tell us she heard stuff at night and outside
ddidnt really believe in ghosts er anything at the time SC) whatever
ffirst night at the new house hear same footsteps in the driveway
arun outside with my pistol
******** in the middle ofthe driveway is a container of unripened i cant believe its not butter
tthink it must' fallen out during whoniverse were unloading groceries er something
rah well
enext night
shear same commotion outside in the driveway
when up my blinds a bit and see container ofi cant believe its not butter
arun outside quickly and search the area
Hind nothing
tthis continues for about 2 weeks
awe eventually mew out ofthe house because ofthis.
...
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Views: 41210
Favorited: 34
Submitted: 05/05/2014
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Comments(139):

[ 139 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #18 - sirkanesixtytwo (05/06/2014) [-]
WHAT THE **** , It's free butter you tard.
#19 to #18 - itsbendingtime (05/06/2014) [-]
but it's not butter
User avatar #20 to #19 - sirkanesixtytwo (05/06/2014) [-]
I can't believe it....
User avatar #26 to #20 - DisgruntledTomato (05/06/2014) [-]
HABEEB IT
User avatar #106 to #26 - pyrothermal (05/06/2014) [-]
TWINKIE HOUSE!
User avatar #27 to #20 - stabbedinthecrotch (05/06/2014) [-]
/thread
#66 to #19 - anon (05/06/2014) [-]
I can't believe it either
#63 to #19 - rublixcube (05/06/2014) [-]
I can't believe it.
#67 to #19 - fuckedbyapony (05/06/2014) [-]
I just can't believe it
#3 - vigilum ONLINE (05/05/2014) [-]
User avatar #83 - Ottovan (05/06/2014) [-]
Holy **** this is golden.

Who in the **** gets it in their mind to place a container of I can't believe it's not butter in someone's driveway every single night?

My God, I've wasted my potential...
#108 to #83 - ahreloco (05/06/2014) [-]
maybe its ******** ?
have you thought about that?
#93 - XxElJuegoxX (05/06/2014) [-]
You moved out because someone was leaving you free not-butter?
User avatar #105 to #93 - sanguinemybrother (05/06/2014) [-]
That stuff is poison, smart ghost killing slowly and without much trace. it's not like a ghost is limited for time anyway.
#1 - finblob (05/05/2014) [-]
probably ******** but still god damn funny
User avatar #94 to #1 - samxdaxman (05/06/2014) [-]
I basically don't believe any 4chan or Tumblr stories unless there's someway the OP proved it. That said, doesn't mean you can't enjoy them, they're funny as **** .
#100 - keybladewarrior (05/06/2014) [-]
This is what happens when you don't believe it.
#98 - helpmedudes (05/06/2014) [-]
"I can't believe it's not haunted!"
"I can't believe it's not haunted!"
User avatar #9 - cupcakescankill (05/06/2014) [-]
But why

free butter yo
User avatar #15 to #9 - demandsgayversion (05/06/2014) [-]
I know it's hard to believe

but it's not butter
User avatar #14 - imabeagoodguy (05/06/2014) [-]
But dude free **** for 2 weeks
User avatar #22 to #14 - lizardnigger (05/06/2014) [-]
there's only so much butter you can eat m8
User avatar #29 to #22 - mariopimp (05/06/2014) [-]
Is that a challenge m8
User avatar #46 to #29 - lizardnigger (05/06/2014) [-]
it's utterly a challenge m8
User avatar #129 to #46 - mariopimp (05/07/2014) [-]
When I cook I usually use almost half a tub of butter....I go through A LOT of butter a day....it's Enteis gift to the world.... I am surprised I don't weigh like 600 pounds with the way I cook.... Everything I make is either covered in butter, bacon, cheese and or grease or all of the above m8 lol.
User avatar #130 to #129 - lizardnigger (05/07/2014) [-]
YOU GON' EAT YOSELF TO AN EAARRRRLY GRAVE YO
User avatar #138 to #130 - mariopimp (05/10/2014) [-]
GOOD
#57 - Nerdcrazy (05/06/2014) [-]
>we inherent her house
>inherent
what
#68 to #57 - vexaton ONLINE (05/06/2014) [-]
Made this just for you.
#86 to #68 - anon (05/06/2014) [-]
User avatar #87 to #86 - vexaton ONLINE (05/06/2014) [-]
Why do everyone think my name is VexatTRON?
#127 to #87 - Nerdcrazy (05/07/2014) [-]
I dunno, obviously doesn't read well. I took your recommendation with a grain of salt, are you aware i did not create said image and therefore wasn't the person who used that text. If you were actually looking to help me you would have created an image using the same content, but with the new color.
User avatar #131 to #127 - vexaton ONLINE (05/07/2014) [-]
Yeah I know you didn't make it, but I thought it would be funnier if it were a new content made in retrospect to the old one. Him sending a new letter to Claudia about his new findings. Didn't mean to upset anyone, really.
#134 to #131 - Nerdcrazy (05/08/2014) [-]
alright, i wasn't particularly upset, i was taken slightly aback, no big deal.
#102 - technobanana (05/06/2014) [-]
We once had someone repeatedly pudding fully grown vegetables in our veg patch... wake up in the morning look outside.. 5 leaks in the ground... carried on for like 2 weeks then stopped... kinda creepy
We once had someone repeatedly pudding fully grown vegetables in our veg patch... wake up in the morning look outside.. 5 leaks in the ground... carried on for like 2 weeks then stopped... kinda creepy
User avatar #103 to #102 - technobanana (05/06/2014) [-]
******* man typo "putting" not pudding..
#101 - gux ONLINE (05/06/2014) [-]
#123 - benderisgreat (05/06/2014) [-]
It's the ghost of Paula Deen. OOOOooooooo
User avatar #128 to #123 - epicapocalypse (05/07/2014) [-]
Paula Dean isn't dead.......


but her career is
User avatar #139 to #128 - qosfortyone (05/11/2014) [-]
yet...



she'll join her career





you know I'm joking right?
User avatar #64 - juandaniel (05/06/2014) [-]
Nice Post after a post containing nothing but 2 sentence horror stories...
User avatar #23 - xXFairyXx (05/06/2014) [-]
Why not just set up a security camera?
User avatar #31 to #23 - guywithface (05/06/2014) [-]
Because logic, yo.
#65 - marioisbestpony (05/06/2014) [-]
If it's not butter, is it Mario?
User avatar #77 to #65 - buttkickerboy (05/06/2014) [-]
No.
It is not ******* Mario, you stupid cunt.
User avatar #92 to #77 - teevee (05/06/2014) [-]
how dare you defile the word of our lord Mario
#90 to #77 - marioisbestpony (05/06/2014) [-]
Well, aren't you a ray of sunshine
#104 to #65 - technobanana (05/06/2014) [-]
NO
NO
User avatar #5 - mchoul (05/06/2014) [-]
I hear footsteps outside,
QUICK GRAB THE PISTOL!
'Merica
#6 to #5 - anon (05/06/2014) [-]
What were you reading?
User avatar #7 to #6 - mchoul (05/06/2014) [-]
probably the bit that says
"...hear some footsteps in the driveway
>run outside with my pistol"
that's my guess
#8 to #7 - sgtxrootbeer (05/06/2014) [-]
well, if he hears someone dicking around in his driveway, then i would also grab my gun, they could be trying to steal my car... etc
#58 to #5 - Digitalphear (05/06/2014) [-]
**** you're original.
User avatar #34 to #5 - PenguinsOfMars (05/06/2014) [-]
I hear footsteps outside,
QUICK HOPE THEY DON'T HAVE GUNS
'Not So Great Britian
#75 to #5 - anon (05/06/2014) [-]
>hear footsteps outside
>QUICK GRAB A LAMP
>open door
>o **** they have a gun

I have a European friend who keeps a loaded gun in the drawer too, it's just self defense
User avatar #49 to #5 - toosexyforyou (05/06/2014) [-]
>Be in place that doesn't have freedom
>Guns are illegal
>Hear sound outside in the middle of the night
>Open the door to check what it is
>Kebab standing outside trying to pick the lock
>Try to slam the door closed
>Kebab pulls out gun and shoots me
>Ahh what a wonderful world
User avatar #10 to #5 - centurionprime (05/06/2014) [-]
sounds completely reasonable to me.
User avatar #24 to #5 - spankyy (05/06/2014) [-]
Depending on where they live, this is a reasonable assumption. For example, if I lived in Detroit I would grab my handgun whenever I heard ANY noise.
User avatar #12 to #5 - imakejewburgers (05/06/2014) [-]
What the hell is wrong with that. If someone's dicking around in my driveway late at night, it seems like a reasonable assumption that they are not there for legitimate reasons and so protection would be better.
User avatar #28 to #12 - recruitactivated ONLINE (05/06/2014) [-]
and thats how drunk teenagers die
User avatar #56 to #28 - psykobear (05/06/2014) [-]
Grabbing a pistol just in case for the worst and shooting someone as soon as you see them are two totally different things.
User avatar #47 to #28 - goldenglimmer (05/06/2014) [-]
No, that's how drunk teenagers get the **** scared out of them when they're confronted by the armed owner of the property they're trespassing on - and then, more than likely, promptly run the **** away.

"Hurr, he's holding a gun, and therefore someone has to die, durr."
0
#113 to #12 - ledd has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #114 to #113 - imakejewburgers (05/06/2014) [-]
I honestly do not know what you are trying to say with that.
0
#116 to #114 - ledd has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #117 to #116 - imakejewburgers (05/06/2014) [-]
Do you want us all to build ten feet tall brick walls around are houses? What the hell do you expect? Plenty of people have fences, some don't, but it's not like it's difficult to hop a fence anyway.
0
#118 to #117 - ledd has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #119 to #118 - imakejewburgers (05/06/2014) [-]
Do you even realize how ridiculous you are? Show me a single fence (And be reasonable, we're not all Bill Gates, we live in normal houses without **** loads of space and money to through around) that a thief is incapable of hopping and would not be out of place or inconvenient to a normal household.
0
#120 to #119 - ledd has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #121 to #120 - imakejewburgers (05/06/2014) [-]
I responded only to people that replied on my comment. I have no idea why you care.
#97 to #12 - anon (05/06/2014) [-]
>Reasonable
>Username imakejewburgers
User avatar #99 to #97 - imakejewburgers (05/06/2014) [-]
Your point being my username is ridiculous so I'm incapable of reasonable thought?
#95 to #12 - hosl (05/06/2014) [-]
Or they just wana give you some free butter...
#50 to #12 - mchoul (05/06/2014) [-]
AAAAH no time for logical thought process! it doesnt matter to me that it could easily just be a bunch of teenagers playing ********* , nonono, i'll just shoot them and apologise to the families like so
"hurrdurr sozzles man, i thort it were won uf dem negurz i hurd abojut on the talkiebox!"
User avatar #59 to #50 - synthane (05/06/2014) [-]
Just because someone made sure they had their gun in their possession while determining the source of a noise that should not have been there in the first place does not mean they shot whoever it was.
"Hur-dur, ever 'murican that holds a gun shootz people dead all day erry day."
Please put a bit of logical thinking into your posts first.
#62 to #59 - mchoul (05/06/2014) [-]
awch 			****		 i don't know do i? Born and raised in Scotland, so the whole gun culture thing is completely alien to me. I've just always been under the silly impression that if you don't plan on killing someone, NOT brandishing a firearm at the slightest sign of trouble such as footsteps in the driveway (which could be absolutely anything) might be the best place to start?   
Im not expecting to change all of America's gun control laws through a post on pissing funnyjunk. Just voicing an opinion, and expecting braw debate! So be gentler, I'm all foreign n' 			****		   
(also, apologies if i at all seemed to be a cheeky wee cunt.....thats kinda just what we do in Scotland....like....in most conversations with most people)
awch **** i don't know do i? Born and raised in Scotland, so the whole gun culture thing is completely alien to me. I've just always been under the silly impression that if you don't plan on killing someone, NOT brandishing a firearm at the slightest sign of trouble such as footsteps in the driveway (which could be absolutely anything) might be the best place to start?
Im not expecting to change all of America's gun control laws through a post on pissing funnyjunk. Just voicing an opinion, and expecting braw debate! So be gentler, I'm all foreign n' ****
(also, apologies if i at all seemed to be a cheeky wee cunt.....thats kinda just what we do in Scotland....like....in most conversations with most people)
#110 to #62 - anon (05/06/2014) [-]
Usually if you carry a gun with you, you aren't brandishing it. If you have one it usually has a holster you would carry it on. Even if you have your gun in your hand, it's not like you are going to immediately shoot somebody. You announce yourself and tell whoever is trespassing to get the **** out of your home/lawn/driveway/whatever. If they refused to leave then you call the police. You would only be justified shoot somebody if they came after you. Even then, evasion of the person would be preferable, but depending on where you live retreat is not required.

People that shoot first and ask questions later when they aren't in any danger are what I like to call murderers.

Just to give you the American's standpoint on what to do in a situation when you have a firearm.
User avatar #133 to #110 - mchoul (05/07/2014) [-]
well dayum, whould have thought that it would be anon who would put the argument sensibly and change a mind?
you should all be ashamed of yourselves
User avatar #91 to #50 - imakejewburgers (05/06/2014) [-]
When did I say anything about shooting? Putting a gun in my hand does not mean I'm going to start shooting everything in sight, asshole.
#111 - stonetomcat ONLINE (05/06/2014) [-]
Take the not butter, sell it, profit! Pic unrelated
User avatar #60 - billymayss (05/06/2014) [-]
There's a hunting cabin my family has that we go to, creepy ass stuff has been happening there but more recently it's weird stuff... Last time I was there, someone ate all the chicken in the night... I was up all night and everyone else was asleep. I has no idea who or what ate my chicken fingers.
#61 to #60 - anon (05/06/2014) [-]
probably your fat ******* family
User avatar #126 to #61 - billymayss (05/06/2014) [-]
Uhhhhh well no. My family is far from fat... but good try.
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