Error of his ways. . to actually wear a fedora and be one of 'those people kl am skinny as , about and em tthought the Fedora looked really good to feel nervous green text story
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Error of his ways

to actually wear a fedora and be one of 'those people
kl am skinny as **** , about and em
tthought the Fedora looked really good
to feel nervously confident about myself when walking around in my Fedora
t wear a trenchcoat or anything, just a standard black raincoat
Aanyway, walking down the street one day
Chalking through a small residential path
an argument in a garden across from me
guy and a girl are having a domestic dispute
kfor some reason, I must be convinced by the I think I' m giving off
kl approach them and try to settle the dispute
kaay something like 'My friend, please settle down, and leave the little lady alone'
khe looks at me and says 'What the **** did you just say?'
kl reply You heard me, sir, I simply won' t tolerate mournfulness towards such a petite creature'
klink at the girl
kl assume now she was creeped out but I thought it was smooth as **** at the time
kthe man threatens me again and asks what I' m going to do
him 'he will feel the wrath of my ' and throw my fedora at him
khe gets mad and chases me, beats the **** out of me
kl have to go to the hospital
knever see that fedora again
Hem glad I saw the error of my ways
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Views: 45146
Favorited: 79
Submitted: 12/05/2013
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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#9 - swazzzzy (12/05/2013) [-]
Moral of the story, beat the **** out of anyone with a fedora and take it. They'll be happy you did in the end
#45 to #9 - drachma (12/06/2013) [-]
I can't believe I didn't think of this until your post
I can't believe I didn't think of this until your post
User avatar #69 to #9 - secretdestroyers (12/06/2013) [-]
Screw cleaning up trash on the highway, this is the true comminity service we should be having minor convicted offenders do!
#12 - shabattman (12/05/2013) [-]
#107 to #12 - douthit (12/06/2013) [-]
nice. very topical
nice. very topical
#136 to #12 - zgmilk (12/06/2013) [-]
So you've already found a use for that literally on the next picture..bravo.
So you've already found a use for that literally on the next picture..bravo.
#2 - sandez (12/05/2013) [-]
Six foot and one hundred and ten pounds? Damn son.
#4 to #2 - ExorArgus (12/05/2013) [-]
Im 6'2 and 140 and skinny as **** , 6' 110 is unheathy
User avatar #8 to #4 - mrgusti (12/05/2013) [-]
i'm 6'0 and 205
User avatar #24 to #2 - magicalsteve (12/05/2013) [-]
I'm 6'2" and finally got up to 130lbs this week
User avatar #44 to #2 - onewithpokerface (12/06/2013) [-]
I myself am about six foot and one hundred and thirty pounds. I'm underweight, but healthy. I couldn't imagine weighing that much. I mean, my forearms are literally bone thin as it is. This guy must have almost no muscle on him at all.
#53 to #2 - tugaii (12/06/2013) [-]
I was wondering how that was possible im 5'8 and 160.
#76 to #2 - Rascal (12/06/2013) [-]
I'm 6'5 185 and i've got a small frame. I can't imagine that
#119 to #2 - bronyzord (12/06/2013) [-]
Im 5'9 and weigh 102. I was 115 about a month ago but i haven't been eating like i used to so i lost a bit.
#166 to #2 - Rascal (12/06/2013) [-]
Im 9'9 and 36 pounds, you are all fat.
#5 to #2 - downtrail (12/05/2013) [-]
I'm Six foot, one hundred fifteen pounds, and can't seem to gain any weight.

#137 to #5 - sesamfan (12/06/2013) [-]
Okay my friend I am going to hit you with some advice since I was once just like you. I was a tall thin boy that no matter what I did i just "couldn't" gain weight.
If you want to gain weight there are a few things you need:

-A will of iron: So many people say that they want to get big but they don't want to fight through the pain and suffering that is forcing muscle onto your body.

-Ability to handle setback: When I was beefing up I'd suddely hit a wall and not gain any weight for weeks. This is NORMAL. Some weeks I'd even lose weight but then two weeks later I would skyrocket to a new level where I had never been before.

-A desire to learn: You must be willing to learn about nutrition, workout methods etc

-Time: Gaining weight takes a long time for hard-gainers. I have been lifting weights for three years and have gained 23kg. More than half of this is not muscle, it is simply a effect of me eating more.

Okay so let's get into steps to follow in order to gain weight as a hard-gainer.
1. No more massive meals that fill you up for hours. You now eat six smaller meals each day. This does not mean a bowl of cereal I mean actual food. Protein/high calories is what you want.
2. Lift weights. You want to beat your body into submission and force it into building muscle. You will not hang out at the machines that workout one small internal muscle under your left asscheek. You will do compound excercises. These are exercises that target LARGE muscle groups and create growth hormones. I'll list the exercises below.
-The almighty DEADLIFT
-The unforgiving barbell SQUAT
-The godlike CHIN/PULL-UP
-The soul crushing BENCHPRESS
(All of these excersises can be found on the interwebz)
3. Keep lifting weights. Hit the gym 2-3 times a week. Don't skip your workout because you are tired or some ******** . Go there and try to turn your dream into reality!

User avatar #151 to #137 - danyrambo (12/06/2013) [-]
These are actually good hints for a beginner...we need a /fit/ here, just less gay than the original
User avatar #142 to #137 - smashmenao (12/06/2013) [-]
6'4 and 135lbs!

I see people posting "Work out and gain weight"
I drink protein shakes and dose up on iron/calcium.

I am a marathon runner. I have extremely little fat on my body.
Squats, weights, lifts. I do most everything.
I like to think of myself as "Aerodynamic" instead of a walking pole.

And yes I have gotten checked out concerned about my weight. BUT since I am in America.. well.. If you can run more than 10ft without being keeled over and nearly dead from exhaustion... then you are considered very healthy.
User avatar #146 to #142 - sesamfan (12/06/2013) [-]
Well the reason i didnt gain weight was that i did karate everyday combined with lifting. While i did not compensate with enough calories to make my body change. If you are a marathon runner then i can definitley imagen it being hard to gain weight. I mean **** you burn a ******* of calories running long distances.

But tell me brother. Have you actually tried going to the extreme? Meaning that your one purpose in life is to gain weight. You see protein and calories were my religion for two years. I would eat anything that i could get my hands on. Lift and then not move my body except getting my mile for conditioning once in a while. I used protein shakes as a supplement to my massive food intake.

Calorie and protein surplus + lifting = muscle
User avatar #188 to #146 - smashmenao (12/07/2013) [-]
yea man. I was on the ROTC athletic team for 3 years. so I did everything. I am a cyclist. (Road and MTN bikes) I'm always on the move. BUT! I still have my "Fat days".. by that I mean " **** grilling a steak. I want a Whopper!"
User avatar #46 to #5 - dsendz ONLINE (12/06/2013) [-]
i'm 6'3 and 250 -.-
User avatar #117 to #46 - cjasper (12/06/2013) [-]
That is about average or just above.
User avatar #67 to #5 - useroftheLOLZ (12/06/2013) [-]
I'm Six foot Six, and 250 pounds of built wall, I laugh at all of you
#191 to #5 - Rascal (12/09/2013) [-]
I thought I was the only one
User avatar #120 to #5 - commontroll (12/06/2013) [-]
How is this possible? I'm 6'2" and I weigh 150, and I'm pretty light.

User avatar #128 to #120 - sesamfan (12/06/2013) [-]
Okay I realise that you aren't trying to put him down but I need to say this anyway. Since you are light you must ******* realise how god damn soul crushing it is when people say **** like what you just did. I don't care that it is on the internet I just hope to ******* god that you don't say **** like that to people in real life because that's just cruel.

As a guy that used to be a scrawnybro I get ******* upset when I see that other people get stuff like that thrown at them. God ******* damnit


User avatar #131 to #128 - commontroll (12/06/2013) [-]
I can see how it can be taken as me being rude, but I mean honestly, it's just a very disturbing thought to me. I used to be somewhat like that, but when I starting eating (at least a little) better I started packing on more muscle.
User avatar #138 to #131 - sesamfan (12/06/2013) [-]
Yea but how does that justify basically calling someone a corpse. This is a person with hopes and dreams that you are writing to jeez. **** I'm getting to tired I don't mean to be judgy I've just had my fair share of harrasing when it comes to my body.
User avatar #97 to #5 - slycoop (12/06/2013) [-]
6'5'' 150 pounds here.
#103 to #97 - Rvalldrgg (12/06/2013) [-]
6'5", 315 pounds
User avatar #66 to #5 - zombifier (12/06/2013) [-]
used to be 6'1" 130 pounds
military made me now 5'10" 160 pounds
User avatar #70 to #66 - majestispaceduck ONLINE (12/06/2013) [-]
serious dubts, how did you lose height?
User avatar #71 to #70 - zombifier (12/06/2013) [-]
carry 90-120 pounds in gear for 6+ hours a day for 8 months
and wiped out on a 4 wheeler that fractured a couple vertebrae
#78 to #71 - physically (12/06/2013) [-]
damn man that sounds painful
#79 to #78 - zombifier (12/06/2013) [-]
yup, been told whether I get surgery or not, I'll be in pain for the rest of my life
yup, been told whether I get surgery or not, I'll be in pain for the rest of my life
User avatar #64 to #5 - nervaaurelius (12/06/2013) [-]
Dude I'm 5'2 and 110. Skinny as hell and I can't imagine being stretched out 10 more inches with just 5 pounds added.
User avatar #123 to #64 - FightClub (12/06/2013) [-]
i hope you're a girl if you're 5'2
User avatar #121 to #64 - psykojet (12/06/2013) [-]
6'1" and 135 lbs. My back ******* hurts already and I am 16
#110 to #64 - Rascal (12/06/2013) [-]
You have something wrong with you then, or you just either think your skinny 5'2 110 is about on the dot for that height im 5'9' 114 lb's im pretty skinny if i went down to 5'2 id look pretty normal...
User avatar #54 to #5 - baditch (12/06/2013) [-]
almost 6' and around 125
#51 to #10 - Rascal (12/06/2013) [-]
Just take steroids.
User avatar #15 to #10 - danyrambo (12/05/2013) [-]
Or just eat a ******* of good food and train
User avatar #20 to #15 - MatthewsGauss (12/05/2013) [-]
thats kinda what I was insinuating
User avatar #145 to #20 - danyrambo (12/06/2013) [-]
My point was that I don't think that, expecially for a beginner, the supplements are a necessity
#61 - chinosquad (12/06/2013) [-]
Maybe if you'd grown up in a rougher neighborhood like my pal Al you could pull off the fedora look and then cut that ******* prick's heart out
User avatar #7 - mindology (12/05/2013) [-]
6 foot and 160 pounds and i'm skinny as sht i cant even imagine 110
User avatar #11 to #7 - hates (12/05/2013) [-]
I'm 6'3" and around 130 lbs, possibly less
User avatar #26 to #11 - geofalke (12/06/2013) [-]
muahahaha! 6'3" 200lbs beast master race
#42 - skysailor (12/06/2013) [-]
I used to wear one too. Never was that.... Actually, no I was weird. Maybe not weird in that fedora sense, just weird in other ways. I had the goatee and everything.   
The shame. All the shame.
I used to wear one too. Never was that.... Actually, no I was weird. Maybe not weird in that fedora sense, just weird in other ways. I had the goatee and everything.

The shame. All the shame.
User avatar #56 to #42 - swimmingprodigy (12/06/2013) [-]
It's not about the fedora on your head, it's about the fedora on your heart
#185 to #56 - gabbelabbe (12/06/2013) [-]
haha **** ! thats so good! saving it in my memorybank!
#3 - shmooo (12/05/2013) [-]
I need to go to bed
#13 - ddylann (12/05/2013) [-]
Fed-Aura. awesome.
#37 - drnibbles (12/06/2013) [-]
I used to wear fedoras all the time. Way before fedora hate was a thing. Mostly imitating Yahtzee croshaw. I still wonder if I looked stupid or not.

Spoiler: I also wore a trench coat wat back when. MFW
#1 - soundofwinter ONLINE (12/05/2013) [-]
Sometimes people need to be brutally beaten into their senses
Sometimes people need to be brutally beaten into their senses
#33 to #1 - macacobr (12/06/2013) [-]
That actually happened to me a couple of times. It was "deliberated" because I was thinking I deserved that. It worked a lil bit and now I have a job.
User avatar #35 to #33 - macacobr (12/06/2013) [-]
Never was a fedora faggot, tho. I was just brutally beaten to senses.
User avatar #23 - Durp (12/05/2013) [-]
Damn that is tiny. I used to be 79lbs, but I was also a 5'2 teenage girl.
#25 to #23 - Rascal (12/06/2013) [-]
tits ore gtf0
#27 to #25 - Durp (12/06/2013) [-]
Since you asked so nicely here's a pair of my boobies.
User avatar #55 to #23 - karson (12/06/2013) [-]
since you were a girl in past tense, it's safe to say you are now a full grown man?
User avatar #63 to #55 - Durp (12/06/2013) [-]
How-how did you know?
Lol no my bad. When I was around 14-15 or so I was really underweight. I'm 18 now, still a fully functioning female I promise. No trap here.
#184 to #63 - karson (12/06/2013) [-]
I was just giving you a hard time, saw an opportunity and jumped at it, lol.
#94 to #63 - gmarrox (12/06/2013) [-]
Fully functioning, you say?
#65 to #23 - Rascal (12/06/2013) [-]
In that exact situation right now.
#28 to #23 - realreality (12/06/2013) [-]
Aye girl, you want some duck ?
#29 to #28 - Durp (12/06/2013) [-]
A cluster-duck?
#30 to #29 - realreality (12/06/2013) [-]
I was thinking more along the lines of a romantic ducking but if you're into that kinda stuff I guess I'm up for it.
User avatar #31 to #30 - Durp (12/06/2013) [-]
Anything to get the Duck
#32 to #31 - realreality (12/06/2013) [-]
Girl, you're ducking dirty.
#34 to #32 - Durp (12/06/2013) [-]
So let's grab a shower together
#36 to #34 - realreality (12/06/2013) [-]
I guess it is kinda cold, a hot shower/bath with a dirty duck might just be what I need.
User avatar #38 to #36 - Durp (12/06/2013) [-]
Ok I'm sorry that's a really ******* cute pic
User avatar #39 to #38 - realreality (12/06/2013) [-]
You know what I call that pic Cold ass honky….because you know they go HONK…I like ducks.
#41 to #40 - realreality (12/06/2013) [-]
Alright dude, I'm all ducked out, see you around.
#43 to #41 - Durp (12/06/2013) [-]
Nice ducking around with ya.
#47 to #43 - vanillasmoke (12/06/2013) [-]
hold up now, let's see if we can't arrange a little ducking

bow wow wow im a kinky dog
User avatar #48 to #47 - Durp (12/06/2013) [-]
Hey hey whoa there puppy. That image is a little too risqué for my virgin eyes.
#50 to #48 - vanillasmoke (12/06/2013) [-]
it's the wild kingdom baby, and we're both darker blue names on FJ so we've each seen some 			****
it's the wild kingdom baby, and we're both darker blue names on FJ so we've each seen some ****
User avatar #52 to #50 - Durp (12/06/2013) [-]
Well **** that is true.
User avatar #85 to #52 - theanchoviebus (12/06/2013) [-]
User avatar #186 to #85 - Durp (12/06/2013) [-]
I don't but Google does.
#49 to #43 - realreality (12/06/2013) [-]
Same here.
#189 to #28 - Rascal (12/08/2013) [-]
That's a goose.
#190 to #189 - Rascal (12/08/2013) [-]
Geese aren't ducks ?
User avatar #57 to #28 - karson (12/06/2013) [-]
your duck thread has made my day.
#59 to #57 - realreality (12/06/2013) [-]
Well, I'm glad you liked it.
User avatar #172 - coolioplasm (12/06/2013) [-]
You have to look good without the fedora to look good in the fedora.
User avatar #74 - krasnogvardiech (12/06/2013) [-]
Was it a fedora or was it a ******* frillby? There's a BIIIG difference.

A frillby is very easily found, as it's those faggots who claim they're enlightened by atheism.

Look at comment #61 for a proper fedora. It's worn by men with dignity.

5'8 or 178 cm, 80-something kg.
User avatar #104 - nyuORlucy (12/06/2013) [-]
fedoras(like other older styled accessories) can only be pulled of by few. fedoras are also(like most accessories) outfit dependant
#99 - temporalguardian (12/06/2013) [-]
I dont get the hate on the hats. before it was just on neckbeards wearing a fedora out of style. now its like, you wear a hat? lol what a faggot. This is me, a relatively longish time ago, going to a new years party. Not exactly the most stylish ill admit, but it combined well, its in style. So tell me, fj, is this an acceptable get up or are hats all in all just cancer for ever now.
User avatar #113 to #99 - datassman (12/06/2013) [-]
You'd want a matching jacket, something that matches the hat, and also that fits well. Baggy makes you look like a sophomore who somehow got asked to prom. More fitted pants too, pressed to razor edges. And just for the record, don't do the black and gray. I can't explain it, but it's just not classy. Instead, go for pinstripes, or just a muted-tone shirt, try burgundy or blue for your skin tone. If you're gonna be buttoning the jacket, get a vest, a thicker tie, and a tie clip; if you're leaving it unbuttoned, the thin works. DON'T wear your hat like that. That was the style back in the 30's, but this isn't the 30's. Hats are worn straight, and slightly higher so you can see under it. This is mostly just ideas, but honestly, that picture screams "middle school semiformal."
User avatar #115 to #113 - temporalguardian (12/06/2013) [-]
most of those things i agree with, like i said in an earlier comment i just dressed like that cause it was the fanciest stuff i had and organized it the best i could, and as for the way the hat was in the picture, i just put it like that for that particular picture.
User avatar #125 to #99 - darkangeloffire (12/06/2013) [-]
I agree with you. Admittedly, I rarely ever wear one with matching attire. I just wear one in the summer since I don't like baseball hats. Whoop de doo.
User avatar #180 to #99 - thatoneiranianguy (12/06/2013) [-]
You're dressing nice. That's different. When you start wearing khakis and a t-shirt is when I start to get pissed off.

Also, the brim looks narrower and framed upwards? Might actually be a Trilby. Can't tell from this distance.
User avatar #100 to #99 - leonhardt (12/06/2013) [-]
Nobody, anywhere, ever, said that ALL hats are cancerous. Just fedoras.
User avatar #102 to #100 - temporalguardian (12/06/2013) [-]
True, but nowadays now one even knows what thedifference is. everyones just jumping on the bandwaggon and as soon as they see a hat, even if they dont know what it is, they're like, look at this fag thinking he's stylish, bla bla, etc etc.
User avatar #124 to #99 - bannon (12/06/2013) [-]
Honest opinion? And I hope you know I'm providing constructive criticism and this is not a personal attack on you, but there's a few things I'd change with the get-up:

Lower the pants a little, they look really uncomfortable. (My personal preference would be to change the belt to something with silver or stainless steel as it matches the grey a bit better than the gold but each to their own)

You could probably lose the tie. It's nice and everything but it seems constricting.

Change around the colours a bit, mainly all grey/black looks a little dull.

But the hat is a bit of a problem. You can't be expected to converse with people while the hat is in your eyes like that. And if you kept your head tilted back for the whole night, you'd end up with a creak in your neck. Personally, I'd find it rude if someone were trying to speak to me with a hat on, not sure why though. I have a trilby hat myself. Wore it to one or 2 parties a few years ago. It's a great item for getting girls attentions but it's mainly because they want to wear it and you might have to play off wearing it as a joke.

However, each to their own, what ever floats your boat. Don't mind me, I'm just your friendly neighbourhood Irish-man
User avatar #127 to #124 - temporalguardian (12/06/2013) [-]
I explained why i wore the hat like that already in a comment below, and also as i said before this is pretty much the fanciest stuff i could pick out, besides i was going for flashy and abnormal cause im just an attention whore like that, everyone else was just going to wear something casual/stylish.
#109 to #99 - regfridge (12/06/2013) [-]
To be completely honest it doesn't look good at all with that outfit.

into the cringethreads you go
User avatar #114 to #109 - temporalguardian (12/06/2013) [-]
le crying sad face :'c xDDD

but no seriously, that was a desperate attempt at looking better than regular for a party. better that then just in the same boring stuff i'd go to school in
#150 - istalir (12/06/2013) [-]
Considering it's not every style of fedora that people usually are talking about, why don't we specify that it's a short brim fedora... because a normal fedora is what Indiana Jones wore
User avatar #157 to #150 - MrDeadiron (12/06/2013) [-]
They're not even fedoras, they're trilbys. Also the only appropriate way to wear a fedora is with a ******* suit, not in a pair of ******* khakis and a t-shirt.
User avatar #174 to #157 - thatoneiranianguy (12/06/2013) [-]
Holy **** thank you for stating that Trilby fact. Trilby's are also supposed to be worn in the same manner of course.
User avatar #149 - yutdollacwwwthree (12/06/2013) [-]
I'm 6'0 and 240 lbs. I want to be that skinny.

Not leave alone while I eat another cheeseburger in shame.
User avatar #153 to #149 - MrDeadiron (12/06/2013) [-]
Is it a good cheeseburger?
User avatar #155 to #153 - yutdollacwwwthree (12/06/2013) [-]
It is juicy and delicious.

Lots of people put stuff on the burger, but I enjoy savoring the taste of the meat.

I have perfected the art of frying meat.
User avatar #160 to #155 - MrDeadiron (12/06/2013) [-]
Oh you poor naive burger baby. The true way to enjoy a burger is to stuff it with blue cheese, top it with bacon and sauteed onions, and finally put a health amount of mayo on top.
User avatar #167 to #160 - yutdollacwwwthree (12/06/2013) [-]

If I can get my fat fingers on blue cheese, I'll gladly try
#148 - ihatem (12/06/2013) [-]
I guess standards were set too high for fedoras and kids never learned **** about class
User avatar #116 - mondominiman (12/06/2013) [-]
I used to have a trench coat when I was in middle school. It looked weird but damn was it warm and cozy. Also in college there was a guy with a black leather trench coat, everyone called him neo.
User avatar #101 - halotalim (12/06/2013) [-]
Then there is my brother who wears a fedora and girls show true intrest in him.
I guess 1 in 10,000 can pull it off.
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