Elder Scroll's Races According to /pol/.. Forgot to add it the channel please don't hurt me.... Altmer: High culture that is imitated across all . Contribute to
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Elder Scroll's Races According to /pol/.

Elder Scroll's Races According to /pol/.. Forgot to add it the channel please don't hurt me.... Altmer: High culture that is imitated across all . Contribute to

Forgot to add it the channel please don't hurt me...

Altmer: High culture that is imitated across all . Contribute to the spread of knowledge. Skilled mages. Pretty much the closest thing you can get to Nazis with their eugenics and racial purity dogma. Not
******* .
Breton: Cultured, intelligent, and good mages- Breton cuisine is the envy of all . Not ******* .
Imperial: Conquered all , create magnificent architecture and works of art. Not ******* .
Fireguard: Legendary seafarers, shrewd merchants, have built impressive desert cities, and are excellent fighters. Not ******* .
Argonian: Lizard that worships a magical tree and gets high offere sap, gaining enhanced strength, speed, and stamina. Eats powdered deer penises and raw fish. TOTAL ******* .
Bosmer: Lives out in the jungle doing dances, jumping around entrees- and having where they put the dead bodies on the table and chow down. TOTAL ******* [
Bummer: Violent, stubborn, and have pretty much been living in insects and trees before and afterthe Imperial City was built. TOTAL ******* .
Mord: Dumb, violent, and look like **** . They' re just a bunch of huts covered in snow. They haven' t invented any kind breakthrough ever- TC) TAL ****** &
Circe: Rude, crude, smell like **** , violent savages- Everywhere outside of has ems in it is just a bunch of huts, and Cranium is just stolen Breton architecture. TITAL ******* .
Khajiit: Steals everythingblue isn' t nailed down, most are career criminals. and they' re always selling what' s the Elder Scrolls equivalent of crack cocaine. ********* CF THEM ALL!
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Submitted: 11/02/2013
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#1 - pokemonstheshiz (11/02/2013) [-]
ooga booga, where the Altmer women at?
User avatar #3 to #1 - kiaserzerg (11/02/2013) [-]
caption that **** .
User avatar #8 - iamnuff (11/02/2013) [-]
I noticed that all the Kajit complain about being stereotyped, but i still havn't found even a single one that didn't either mention theft or moonsuger within seconds of meeting him.
#11 to #8 - murphypop (11/02/2013) [-]
It's a religious thing. Here's an excerpt from the Pocket Guide to the Empire, 1st Edition/The Elsweyr Confederacy, a book found in the Redguard game (as part of the manual):

The khajiit understand it to be "crystallized moonlight," caught in the water of the Topal Sea and brought to the sugarcane groves of the Tenmar by the force of the twin tides. By partaking of the sugar, the khajiit believes they are consuming small portions of their gods' eternal souls.
User avatar #19 to #11 - iamnuff (11/02/2013) [-]
huh, "doing drugs is my religious duty" how strange.

and the theft thing?

hell, one of them explicitly mentions how offended he is by the guards thinking his species are all the same, then the very next line talks about picking pockets or something.

I havn't found a single one that isn't either a drug addict, a dealer, or a thief.

I found a shopkeeper once who seemed on the Straight and narrow, not a mention of drugs or crime in his standard dialogue, then i checked his inventory and he had a stack of 20 moon-sugar.
User avatar #20 to #19 - reginleif (11/02/2013) [-]
Not a ES buff, but the Khajit don't get addicted to their own product no? It's only mildly addicting to them due to their racial attributes.

Also they aren't given much opportunity to settle down and learn other trades (inb4 don't be a pussy liberal) they are literally not allowed into the cities... skooma dealing and pickpocketing may very well be the only things that they are allowed to do. (kinda like prohibition of jewish occupations led many of them into banking and lendings).

User avatar #24 to #20 - iamnuff (11/02/2013) [-]
pretty sure they can get addicted.

some of the ones you meet are full-on crackheads.

the "not getting let into cities" thing seems like cause/effect loop to me.

Khajit steal, so they aren't trusted, so they can't get real jobs, so they steal.

but even then, the ones who DO have real jobs just seem to go around proving that the stereotype is correct and everyone is right not to trust them. (that one in the mages college for example)
User avatar #36 to #24 - nightmaren (11/03/2013) [-]
None off them have real jobs.
Also Skyrim =/= All of TES/Tamriel

Like the guy above me said, there are plenty of law-abiding Khajiits in Oblivion. And the ones you find in Morrowind are mostly slaves.
User avatar #43 to #36 - iamnuff (11/03/2013) [-]
sure, in oblivion there were some shopkeepers and stuff who never once mention theft or drugs, I was specifically talking about Skyrim though.

hmm, might have ot replay Oblivion some time.

maybe when i finish skyrim (that means never)
User avatar #26 to #8 - ReikoTheGreat (11/02/2013) [-]
what about the mage in the college of winterhold? I don't think he does anything like that.
#31 to #26 - mollike (11/02/2013) [-]
J'zargo needs no moonsugar he high on magic
User avatar #44 to #26 - iamnuff (11/03/2013) [-]
he's the one who actually started me on this.

pretty sure he makes a comment about people not trusting him one line, then in the very next he talks about finding things small enough to stuff in his pockets.
User avatar #45 to #44 - ReikoTheGreat (11/03/2013) [-]
You sure? He's a pretty proud mage who boasts alot, and I did his quest and I don't remember any dialogues about stealing.
User avatar #46 to #45 - iamnuff (11/03/2013) [-]
"Oh, yes. J'zargo hopes to find things that will make him a more powerful mage here. Hopefully small things that fit inside pockets, and will not be noticed if they are missing."

when asking him if he is excited to be here (at the college, or possibly in Saarthal, the option was available just after the wards lesson at the start of the questline though)
User avatar #47 to #46 - ReikoTheGreat (11/03/2013) [-]
ehhh, what about that companion kajit? the warrior one who always talks about sniffing out the enemy? I'm pretty sure he's clean. (god damn why is it so hard to find good kajits?)
#28 to #8 - Rascal (11/02/2013) [-]
That's really only the ones in Skyrim, and let's be honest. Khajiit aren't even allowed to go inside Skyrim's cities, it's really ******* cold there, dragons are attacking and there's a civil war.

Why the **** would any law-abiding Khajiit bother going there in the first place?

There are plenty of law-abiding Khajiit in Oblivion.
User avatar #18 - dosburritos ONLINE (11/02/2013) [-]
Would a khajit be a "tigger" and not a " ****** "?
User avatar #6 - frasseking (11/02/2013) [-]
Bretons: Half elves half human, they basicly have 3 folkgroups; farmers, nobles and royals. Depends alot on politics, that's how they got High rock in the first place. Can't fight for themself, always convince some other race to do the dirty work for them. WHITEST RACE OF THEM ALL
#9 to #6 - Rascal (11/02/2013) [-]
But best. I like to assert that it's a wordplay on "Briton" and their slightly pompous (but not quite Altmer) attitude is a British stereotype.

They play the intelligent, diplomatic, magical way of doing things.
And they're always slightly short lol.
#2 - furrysheaperd ONLINE (11/02/2013) [-]
and nords always do the elder scrolls equivalent of "praise da lord"
#29 - kreekydoorS (11/02/2013) [-]
You think I'm an ignorant savage
And you've been so many places I guess it must be so
But still I can not see
Is the savage one is me
How can there be so much that you don't know?
You don't know
#33 to #29 - mattdoggy (11/02/2013) [-]
thanks for that
thanks for that
#7 - benevolentpsycho (11/02/2013) [-]
******		 stole my hood
****** stole my hood
#25 to #7 - jackmanagan (11/02/2013) [-]
Not  all  cats like the sugar.  some like  phallic mushrooms
Not all cats like the sugar. some like phallic mushrooms
#38 to #25 - benevolentpsycho (11/03/2013) [-]
Look how violent they are!
Look how violent they are!
#34 to #25 - zomaru ONLINE (11/02/2013) [-]
I never see these any more.
I never see these any more.
#22 - lordnakraaz (11/02/2013) [-]
The **** you say about Dunmer,you filthy N'wah?
User avatar #10 - bjorntheberserk (11/02/2013) [-]
Nords ******* ? Completely disagree there obviously the person who wrote this has no idea of the history and culture of the nords outside of playing three hours of Skyrim. And **** buildings? Their structures are built for harsh weather. Functionaltiy over aesthetics. Only ******* would choose the opposite of that. This is why they buy gold rims for their cars and diamond rings but do not pay child support or move out of their parents' house let alone move out of the ghetto.
User avatar #30 to #10 - undeadwill (11/02/2013) [-]
You can say the same about huts.
User avatar #41 to #30 - bjorntheberserk (11/03/2013) [-]
There is a difference between ******* and Black people. And it is obvious in this content because Redguards are black and yet the author of this content labeled them not ******* .
User avatar #21 to #10 - reginleif (11/02/2013) [-]
Nah if anything the Nords were the racial equivalent of American rednecks with a Northern Euro twist.

Ancient Nords were badass, they built the "functional" long lasting buildings that the current Nords live in today, the modern Nords pretty much just sit there being racist, and backwards.

User avatar #42 to #21 - bjorntheberserk (11/03/2013) [-]
I know the companions mead hall was built before the first era and it still stands and looks still completely badass in Skyrim.
User avatar #35 - BrownBearninetysix (11/02/2013) [-]
I love how Altmer ban worship of the guy ho united the empire, but won't ban worship of Boethiah, who is literally the prince of unlawful overthrowing of authority. Nor Molag Bal, who has literally been dubbed, "The King of Rape."
#4 - Rascal (11/02/2013) [-]
kahjiit are master race :3
User avatar #5 to #4 - undeadwill (11/02/2013) [-]
Don't be a ****** ****** .
#40 - lavitts (11/03/2013) [-]
u wot m8?
#39 - pacs (11/03/2013) [-]
the funniest part about that is the flag indicating nationality.
it's israel .... the land of the jews .... nah joke would be to easy
User avatar #37 - spawnconnery ONLINE (11/03/2013) [-]
Skooma's more like meth
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