Duke Nukem. .. I don't care how many times this has been reposted I love it.
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Duke Nukem

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Views: 84321
Favorited: 595
Submitted: 02/14/2013
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User avatar #335 - TakeUHstab (02/26/2013) [-]
I must try this
If I fail than well the Internet has failed me once again :(
#329 - anonymous (02/17/2013) [-]
ASIANS CAN ACTUALLY READ MINDS!!!!!!!!!!!!
they can hear, and see what your visually thinking
this is the complete truth
The reason a lot of Asians have completely expressionless faces, segregate from everybody else-only associate with Asians and don’t associate with non Asians that much, and are very unfriendly in general is to avoid accidentally revealing that they can read minds. If all over a billion Asians where to show facial expressions all the time just as much as non Asians, integrate and associate with non Asians much more, and be much more friendly and talkative, then a lot of them might accidentally reveal that they can read minds by accidentally showing a facial expression or dirty look when someone thinks, or visually pictures something in their mind they don’t like, find astonishing, or funny etc because those people might see that and and really wonder what that was that just happened there and see the connection, and they might accidentally say something similar to what the person was just thinking and going to say. If they all associated with non Asians a lot more then there would be a lot more people around for them to accidentally show facial expressions when those people think things they don’t like etc, so they segregate and only associate with Asians so there won’t be anyone around for them to see that and have any accidents happen in the first place.
Try thinking, best yet visually picturing in your mind something absolutely crazy as you possibly can when you are around Asians, and try looking for Asians who give people particular looks, especially dirty looks for what appears to be for completely no reason, that is them giving people looks when they hear and visually see someone thinking something they don’t like, find astonishing, or funny etc.
I know this may sound crazy, impossible and unbelievable, BUT IT ISN’T CRAZY WHEN ITS TRUE
You have to spread the message!!!!!
The world has to know about this!!!!!
#332 to #329 - anonymous (02/19/2013) [-]

******* CAN ACTUALLY READ MINDS!!!!!!!!!!!!
they can hear, and see what your visually thinking
this is the complete truth
The reason a lot of ******* have completely expressionless faces, segregate from everybody else-only associate with ******* and don’t associate with whites that much, and are very unfriendly in general is to avoid accidentally revealing that they can read minds. If all over a billion ******* where to show facial expressions all the time just as much as whites, integrate and associate with whites much more, and be much more friendly and talkative, then a lot of them might accidentally reveal that they can read minds by accidentally showing a facial expression or dirty look when someone thinks, or visually pictures something in their mind they don’t like, find astonishing, or funny etc because those people might see that and and really wonder what that was that just happened there and see the connection, and they might accidentally say something similar to what the person was just thinking and going to say. If they all associated with whites a lot more then there would be a lot more people around for them to accidentally show facial expressions when those people think things they don’t like etc, so they segregate and only associate with ******* so there won’t be anyone around for them to see that and have any accidents happen in the first place.
Try thinking, best yet visually picturing in your mind something absolutely crazy as you possibly can when you are around ******* , and try looking for ******* who give people particular looks, especially dirty looks for what appears to be for completely no reason, that is them giving people looks when they hear and visually see someone thinking something they don’t like, find astonishing, or funny etc.
I know this may sound crazy, impossible and unbelievable, BUT IT ISN’T CRAZY WHEN ITS TRUE
You have to spread the message!!!!!
The world has to know about this!!!!!
#307 - klink (02/15/2013) [-]
>Hey beautiful
>hey, haha, whatsup?
>I'm gonna rip your head off and **** down your neck
>WTF? whats wrong with you?
>Eat **** and die
> **** u, ******* ! never talk to me again
>So i'll pick you up at 7?
>"seen 5:28pm"

mfw





Didn't actually happen.
#305 - Tyranitar (02/15/2013) [-]
Me: Hey beautiful

Her: Akshully is dolan
User avatar #298 - madjackwack (02/15/2013) [-]
Me: Hey beautiful

Her: why the **** are you in my house?
+11
#296 - donniexapril **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#295 - DisgruntledTomato (02/15/2013) [-]
Me: Hey beautiful
Her: No

#294 - Thevaultboy (02/15/2013) [-]
Smooth as a baby's bottom.
User avatar #337 to #323 - goodeater (04/22/2013) [-]
That looks hilarious, what's it from?
#309 to #294 - tyraxio (02/15/2013) [-]
Why would you even do that?
#311 to #309 - creosote (02/15/2013) [-]
To be fair, would you really want to get laid by somebody that's that incredibly easy? There's no sport in it!
To be fair, would you really want to get laid by somebody that's that incredibly easy? There's no sport in it!
#313 to #311 - tyraxio (02/15/2013) [-]
Uhm... Yes... I would. Have to take what you can get, eh?
#318 to #313 - creosote (02/15/2013) [-]
Well, if that's the case, than you should be extra safe about it. Double up on the condoms, wrap saranwrap around your cock, and squirt some anti-bacteria spray into her cooch for good measure.
Well, if that's the case, than you should be extra safe about it. Double up on the condoms, wrap saranwrap around your cock, and squirt some anti-bacteria spray into her cooch for good measure.
#320 to #318 - tyraxio (02/15/2013) [-]
Meanwhile in her "secret room".

RUBBER WAS NOT ENOUGH TO SAVE ME
#334 to #320 - wholesomeburn (02/20/2013) [-]
**wholesomeburn rolled a random image posted in comment #43 at fallout wallpaper thread? **
Wut?
0
#333 to #320 - wholesomeburn has deleted their comment [-]
0
#317 to #313 - creosote has deleted their comment [-]
#303 to #294 - beerterror (02/15/2013) [-]
i 						*******					 lost it
i ******* lost it
#293 - joaomartins (02/15/2013) [-]
Me:Hey beautiful    
   
Her :  What the 						****					 did you just 						*******					 say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the 						****					 out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my 						*******					 words. You think you can get away with saying that 						****					 to me over the Internet? Think again, 						******					. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re 						*******					 dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little 						****					. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your 						*******					 tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will 						****					 fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re 						*******					 dead, kiddo.     
   
FML
Me:Hey beautiful

Her : What the **** did you just ******* say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the **** out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my ******* words. You think you can get away with saying that **** to me over the Internet? Think again, ****** . As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re ******* dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little **** . If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your ******* tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will **** fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re ******* dead, kiddo.

FML
User avatar #326 to #293 - bitchpleaseshutup (02/17/2013) [-]
What i would've replied

Why is it that you demand I tell you what I had said when it is written in the text of the post number you quoted? Can you not read? And I am not a bitch, I have a girlfriend and I treat her well. I don’t believe in fighting, so you being in the Navy Seals is a characteristic I deem unimportant. Obviously your ego is more important than your being, since you keep track of rough estimates of your psychotic rampage victims to later relay to strangers. I am assuming you mean guerrilla warfare. Since gorilla warfare is more of a comedic thought I just conjured in my head. In light of your apparent illiteracy, I can’t help but ask, how do you go about wiping my existence of the face of the Earth if you can’t spell? In your cutesy jetliner armed with tittie missiles? Explain the physics of a missile to me in clear detail, from the air it soars through to the mechanisms of triggering the explosion. You know about as much as your literacy. Go ahead page your secret spies for duty, it will be a lost mission because my data is completely secure. I’m hidden behind the curtains of the internet. If you can be anywhere, anytime, I expect you in your goofy jetliner and your fellow spies at my door in 3, 2, 1…oh sorry. Nothing. You call my life sad when your life is just one giant exaggeration: inflating your ego to ethereal heights by making assumptions about people that aren't true as a means of intimidation (comedic intimidation, might I add) and putting people down left, right and center. Your the guy who fronts the virility online to make up for that which you lack in person. Another thing about you is that you cannot reason.
#297 to #293 - Pacboy (02/15/2013) [-]
Who is the original author of this text?
User avatar #301 to #299 - Pacboy (02/15/2013) [-]
Thank you.
#292 - maxsexington (02/15/2013) [-]
Don't care if its fake and his newest game could have been run on windows 95...I'd bet it all on duke
User avatar #291 - Multiverse (02/15/2013) [-]
fakeee anddd gayyyyyyyyyyy
User avatar #288 - trezon (02/15/2013) [-]
I bet his dad was pissed.
#287 - inbardo (02/15/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
0
#285 - thekingofop **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#284 - anonanomaly (02/15/2013) [-]
Me: Hey beautiful   
   
Her: ASIANS CAN ACTUALLY READ M INDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
they can hear, and see what your visually thinking   
this is the absolute complete truth!!!!!   
   
The reason a lot of Asians have completely expressionless faces, segregate from everybody else-only associate with Asians and don't associate with non Asians that much, are very untalkative, and are very unfriendly in general is to avoid accidentally revealing that they can read m inds by accidentally showing a facial expression or dirty look when someone thinks, or visually pictures something in their mind they don't like, find astonishing, or funny etc because those people might see that and really wonder what that was that just happened there and see the connection, and they might accidentally say something similar to what the person was just thinking and going to say. If they all associated with non Asians a lot more then there would be a lot more people around for them to accidentally show facial expressions when those people think things they don't like etc, so they segregate and only associate with Asians so there won't be anyone around for them to see that and have any accidents happen in the first place.   
   
Try thinking, best yet visually picturing in your mind something absolutely wild as you possibly can when you are around Asians, and try looking for Asians who give people particular looks, especially dirty looks for what appears to be for completely no reason.   
   
PLEASE SPREAD THE MESSAGE!!!!!!!
Me: Hey beautiful

Her: ASIANS CAN ACTUALLY READ M INDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
they can hear, and see what your visually thinking
this is the absolute complete truth!!!!!

The reason a lot of Asians have completely expressionless faces, segregate from everybody else-only associate with Asians and don't associate with non Asians that much, are very untalkative, and are very unfriendly in general is to avoid accidentally revealing that they can read m inds by accidentally showing a facial expression or dirty look when someone thinks, or visually pictures something in their mind they don't like, find astonishing, or funny etc because those people might see that and really wonder what that was that just happened there and see the connection, and they might accidentally say something similar to what the person was just thinking and going to say. If they all associated with non Asians a lot more then there would be a lot more people around for them to accidentally show facial expressions when those people think things they don't like etc, so they segregate and only associate with Asians so there won't be anyone around for them to see that and have any accidents happen in the first place.

Try thinking, best yet visually picturing in your mind something absolutely wild as you possibly can when you are around Asians, and try looking for Asians who give people particular looks, especially dirty looks for what appears to be for completely no reason.

PLEASE SPREAD THE MESSAGE!!!!!!!
#279 - zosoiv (02/15/2013) [-]
Repost
User avatar #271 - bringitbitch (02/15/2013) [-]
Added to favorite, Mayby i will use it one day
User avatar #269 - falconxmard (02/15/2013) [-]
**falconxmard rolled a random comment #975 posted by beehoning at What Your Valentine Said ** :
**beehoning rolled a random comment #3146802 posted by theseventhmirror at My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic ** :
If DamnJackieChan were part of a pig, he would be HamJackieChan.

This is what I texted to try to pick up a chick
User avatar #322 to #269 - beehoning (02/16/2013) [-]
I feel important. :3
User avatar #315 to #269 - theseventhmirror (02/15/2013) [-]
Now if only my original comment had been a roll.
User avatar #319 to #315 - DamnJackieChan (02/15/2013) [-]
oink oink, bitch
User avatar #272 to #269 - zaiopeperse (02/15/2013) [-]
you rolled a roll. I didn't know that was possible
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