Being American. . Anonymous (ID: } Hill!!! american to kindergarten shot to school to learn shot 7 KB we to buy some Skittles and ice tea shot to cinema to enjo thatguywithpants 4Chan american Murica
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Being American

Anonymous (ID: }
Hill!!! ****
american
to kindergarten
shot
to school to learn
shot
7 KB we to buy some Skittles
and ice tea
shot
to cinema to enjoy a movie
shot
at a mall
shot
a marathon
bombed
at a factory
killed by a random explosion
...
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Views: 52203
Favorited: 132
Submitted: 06/26/2013
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Comments(231):

[ 231 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#12 - Rascal (06/26/2013) [-]
>live in middle east
>get shot
#79 to #12 - Rascal (06/27/2013) [-]
or bombed
......or beheaded
User avatar #151 to #79 - megusters ONLINE (06/27/2013) [-]
Or stoned
User avatar #158 to #151 - oishiine (06/27/2013) [-]
You're thinking of Jamaica.

Geddit.
User avatar #1 - Foxpaw (06/26/2013) [-]
"Be American"
Says "go to cinema"


. . . . . . .
User avatar #232 to #1 - vanoreo (06/27/2013) [-]
I spell it theatre
#2 to #1 - Rascal (06/26/2013) [-]
.......cos Americans are well known for their ability to laugh at themselves.
#3 to #2 - justtocomment (06/26/2013) [-]
Yes, actually, we are. It's like the whole "spot the vegan" thing though, where people pretend to be pissed off vegans, and people take that as an actual vegan opinion.
I love 'murica posts, they're normally more well written and thought out than most posts, and the jokes, even though they constantly touch on the same subject, are almost always fresh and laughable.
But this particular post I could understand people having an issue with. A number of these things were tragedies, so people who don't have a darkened sense of humor would likely be upset.
#53 to #3 - Rascal (06/27/2013) [-]
No, I'm pretty sure we actually are pissed at vegans. You're right about the other stuff though.
#80 to #53 - Rascal (06/27/2013) [-]
if vegans seriously piss you off, then you should reevaluate your life.
#81 to #80 - Rascal (06/27/2013) [-]
found the vegan.
#10 to #2 - Rascal (06/26/2013) [-]
We don't call it a cinema, we call it a movie theater.
#11 to #10 - thegamegestapo (06/26/2013) [-]
Or understand sarcasm evidently...
Or understand sarcasm evidently...
User avatar #21 to #11 - themurp (06/26/2013) [-]
Dude, there was no sarcasm in this post. It's a parody, not sarcasm.
#35 to #21 - Rascal (06/27/2013) [-]
that and some of us Americans do call it a cinema... and I'm southern
User avatar #56 to #35 - linktheherooftime (06/27/2013) [-]
No we don't.
#134 to #35 - golbot (06/27/2013) [-]
Southerners arnt really American anymore anyway. you ***** gave that title up when you seceded.

South aint gonna rise again if i have anything to say about it.
User avatar #190 to #134 - undeadwill (06/27/2013) [-]
To bad already did! And we went to the ******* moon!

Suck my dick
I'm on the moon
Houston we have a dick in your mouth
Suck ittttttt
#216 to #134 - blackmanrollipolli (06/27/2013) [-]
southerners arent american... the **** . so your saying california and new york are more "american" than the south? the south? which has no major immigration ports? although california and new york are the most culuturally mixed cities in the US? shut up. your so ingorant it hurts. No the south wont rise again. weve kinda bound the south and north together. we seceded because the british were trying to control everything and successfully did. jesus learn some american history before you start blabbling nonsense. pic related... jeesus.
#238 to #216 - golbot (06/27/2013) [-]
im glad you didnt take the joke too seriously... oh wait
User avatar #217 to #216 - youngneil (06/27/2013) [-]
California is a city now?
#218 to #217 - blackmanrollipolli (06/27/2013) [-]
i meant california as a region. southwest. san fransisco has the second largest immigration port in america. you know what i meant.
User avatar #220 to #218 - youngneil (06/27/2013) [-]
I knew, yes. I just felt like correcting you with the douchiest thing I know.
User avatar #37 to #11 - fredthemilkman (06/27/2013) [-]
sarcasm doesn't transfer very well into text. that's why there was a short "sarcasm text" fad a few months ago
#82 to #10 - Rascal (06/27/2013) [-]
As non-English native speaker I must say that's tatty.
User avatar #78 to #2 - gardenmanly (06/27/2013) [-]
I think he was referring to the fact that Americans usually say "go the the movies" and very rarely will you hear people say "go to cinema"
#189 to #2 - Rascal (06/27/2013) [-]
Clearly you've never watched:
Family, Simpsons, Austin Powers, or literally, LITERALLY any American TV did you?
#16 - infinitereaper (06/26/2013) [-]
I once got shot while getting shot
#5 - grandtheftkoala **User deleted account** (06/26/2013) [-]
"We are just experiencing a slight freedom overload at the moment,
causing school shootings spread over the nation"
#96 to #5 - Rascal (06/27/2013) [-]
its only the psycho people that do this or attention whores
#9 to #5 - Rascal (06/26/2013) [-]
hahahaha
#113 to #5 - Rascal (06/27/2013) [-]
At first I wondered why there aren't any school shootings over the summer and then I remembered im an idiot...
#76 to #5 - ThisIsMyOtherName (06/27/2013) [-]
Oh god I read it in his voice automatically. GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!!
#63 - vonspyder (06/27/2013) [-]
>Be Metallica   
>Shoot me again I aint dead yet   
>dun duh dunn   
>shoot me again I aint dead yet   
>dun duh dun   
>All the shots I take I spit back at you.
>Be Metallica
>Shoot me again I aint dead yet
>dun duh dunn
>shoot me again I aint dead yet
>dun duh dun
>All the shots I take I spit back at you.
User avatar #64 to #63 - Metallicock (06/27/2013) [-]
I didn't like that album
#67 to #64 - vonspyder (06/27/2013) [-]
To be honest I didnt either....   
   
so with that being the case....   
   
>Be ronnie   
>all the green things died when I went to that place   
>said dont you dare ask why Im cursed to wear this face   
>now we all know why the children call me Ronnie frown   
>when I pulled my gun from my pocket   
>the all fell down down down   
   
better?
To be honest I didnt either....

so with that being the case....

>Be ronnie
>all the green things died when I went to that place
>said dont you dare ask why Im cursed to wear this face
>now we all know why the children call me Ronnie frown
>when I pulled my gun from my pocket
>the all fell down down down

better?
User avatar #68 to #67 - Metallicock (06/27/2013) [-]
A little I guess. . . go back a little more
#70 to #68 - vonspyder (06/27/2013) [-]
Grrr. THAT DOES IT!!!

>be MEGADETH!!!!
>In trouble for the things I havent got to yet
>sharpening the ax
>palms are getting wet
>sweating bullets.
User avatar #150 to #70 - Metallicock (06/27/2013) [-]
there you go
#86 to #63 - phlieschboi (06/27/2013) [-]
i applaud you for knowing that song, most people think their new stuff is **** but death magnetic and beyond magnetic is some pretty heavy ****
User avatar #163 to #63 - goochmaster (06/27/2013) [-]
>Be Metallica
>you coward
>you servant
>you blind man
>back to the front
User avatar #75 to #63 - minoschur (06/27/2013) [-]
>Be Queen
>Shoot guy
>Make mama cry
>Can you do the fandango?
User avatar #77 to #75 - vonspyder (06/27/2013) [-]
>be freddie mercury
>be mister bad guy
>be everyones mister bad guy
>cant you see it is my destiny?
>its the only way to live from day to day
>mister bad guy, theyre all afraid of me
>i can ruin peoples lives
#52 - kingmonkeydoo (06/27/2013) [-]
Nah, walk up to the club like, "What up? I'm gonna get shot!"
#61 to #52 - Rascal (06/27/2013) [-]
Is that the dude from harry potter?
#65 to #61 - Rascal (06/27/2013) [-]
Macklemore, rapper.
User avatar #107 to #61 - nsali (06/27/2013) [-]
i dont even know how to respond to this
User avatar #39 - conordalymcr (06/27/2013) [-]
>Be Latvian
>tfw no potato
#29 - sealofapproval (06/27/2013) [-]
>walk down the street in london
>get killed by a machete
#33 to #29 - Rascal (06/27/2013) [-]
hes quite a strange machete
0
#139 to #29 - slurpeesurprise has deleted their comment [-]
#193 to #29 - Rascal (06/27/2013) [-]
that was funny as **** tho
User avatar #212 to #29 - niggernazi (06/27/2013) [-]
we need hitler
#242 to #29 - vthink (06/28/2013) [-]
But .........only one guy ........... you cant really kill like 20 dudes with a knife unless you have mad skills.
But .........only one guy ........... you cant really kill like 20 dudes with a knife unless you have mad skills.
User avatar #146 to #29 - asongulol (06/27/2013) [-]
*londonistan
User avatar #109 to #29 - hasinvadedyou (06/27/2013) [-]
People called it machete but it looked more like to me a chef knife and a cleaver.
User avatar #54 - IamEllis (06/27/2013) [-]
regular day for detroit
#93 - Rascal (06/27/2013) [-]
>Be Irish
>Go get Potatoes
> ...
#188 to #93 - Rascal (06/27/2013) [-]
>Go get hammered
>Get home late, super drunk
>Apologize to wife
>Sex it up, aww yeah
>Wife is a sheep

Finished it for you.
User avatar #27 - neoexdeath (06/27/2013) [-]
>Live in London
>Daleks
User avatar #85 - trollzorr (06/27/2013) [-]
>Be Canadian
>Don't get shot
>Gets hit by a rock consialed in a snowball
>Guy steals my wallet
>says sorry then runs off
#90 to #85 - Rascal (06/27/2013) [-]
>Be American
>Get hit by a rock
>Guy tries to steal wallet
>Shoot him
>Call cops
>Police investigate
>Self defense
>Continue with day
User avatar #145 to #90 - thegamerslife (06/27/2013) [-]
continue with day without gun*

they take your firearm for evidence until the investigation is closed. I keep a few spares.
User avatar #89 to #85 - psychfouronenine (06/27/2013) [-]
>Toronto Mall isn't a part of Canada
#44 - leonjoker ONLINE (06/27/2013) [-]
>Go to the office
>Get planed
User avatar #40 - skypatrol (06/27/2013) [-]
>Live anywhere else
>Have same problems
User avatar #125 to #40 - rockamekishiko (06/27/2013) [-]
almost no one else anywhere else goes and kills innocent school children just because
0
#172 to #40 - danzeebass **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#45 to #40 - Rascal (06/27/2013) [-]
>Live where i live
>Have never seen a civilian with a gun.
>No such problems.
User avatar #62 to #45 - vonspyder (06/27/2013) [-]
Where do you live so I can **** that **** right up for you?
#57 to #49 - Rascal (06/27/2013) [-]
Sorry, but there is simply no such thing as a concealed weapon or firearm license where i live..
User avatar #60 to #57 - skypatrol (06/27/2013) [-]
Don't really need it...
Just put it there and don't get caught
User avatar #178 - wizzerdofaus (06/27/2013) [-]
>live in australia
>get killed by giant spider
#137 - kidsquicker (06/27/2013) [-]
>Be Norwegian
>Go to summer camp
#97 - slumberdonkey (06/27/2013) [-]
>Be african, die of malaria
>Be african, die of aids
>Be african, die of starvation
>Be african, get drafted into army as a child and forced to kill your family, die of drug overdose
>Be african, killed by lions, leopards, cheetahs, crocs, etc.
>Be african, group of children with guns kill entire village

Honestly, this can be applied to any ******* country.
User avatar #144 to #97 - kirkbot ONLINE (06/27/2013) [-]
honestly I can't think of any of these things being applied to Switzerland...
prove me wrong
User avatar #115 to #97 - Katzie (06/27/2013) [-]
No it can't.
#120 to #115 - slumberdonkey (06/27/2013) [-]
Could you just... look at the comment you just commented on?
Could you just... look at the comment you just commented on?
User avatar #99 to #97 - tigersstripes (06/27/2013) [-]
Its pointing out that we have a lot of people on killing sprees for the great glory of 'Mu-hurica
#102 to #99 - slumberdonkey (06/27/2013) [-]
>Pointing out that people just go on killing sprees   
>That happens in Africa too.   
>None of it is "for the great glory of 'Mu-hurica"   
   
<- Moral of story
>Pointing out that people just go on killing sprees
>That happens in Africa too.
>None of it is "for the great glory of 'Mu-hurica"

<- Moral of story
User avatar #104 to #102 - tigersstripes (06/27/2013) [-]
lief sux
kil ursefl
ashoal
jk i love you
#108 to #106 - tigersstripes (06/27/2013) [-]
Gaze at tubecat. Gaze   
the brainwashing has begun muhahahaha
Gaze at tubecat. Gaze
the brainwashing has begun muhahahaha
#110 to #108 - slumberdonkey (06/27/2013) [-]
That's... adorable.
That's... adorable.
#112 to #110 - tigersstripes (06/27/2013) [-]
Unreasonable flow of cat gifs begins (not really i only have a few .gifs. Pictures. So many pictures....)
Unreasonable flow of cat gifs begins (not really i only have a few .gifs. Pictures. So many pictures....)
#138 to #97 - Rascal (06/27/2013) [-]
African isn't a country you redneck.
User avatar #101 to #98 - nsali (06/27/2013) [-]
nice image by the way
User avatar #126 to #97 - rockamekishiko (06/27/2013) [-]
>be american
>generalize a whole continent
#121 to #97 - Rascal (06/27/2013) [-]




> Be American, Africa = country


I loled
#19 - ronyx (06/26/2013) [-]
protip: Don't go out.
#119 - davidteninch (06/27/2013) [-]
He forgot   
   
&gt;Go to work.   
&gt;Office is destroyed.
He forgot

>Go to work.
>Office is destroyed.
#59 - ICEDgrunge (06/27/2013) [-]
>Be Wide Receiver
>Shoot self in thigh
#91 to #59 - Jeff C (06/27/2013) [-]
>Be tight end
>Murder friend
User avatar #177 to #91 - ICEDgrunge (06/27/2013) [-]
God, what a train wreck that dude turned into in less than a week.
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