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#2865 - Beenfiftyfive (8 hours ago) [-]
I love fantasy books and I need some suggestions. Help please.
User avatar #2867 to #2865 - feelythefeel (8 hours ago) [-]
User avatar #2860 - thecitcourtney (11 hours ago) [-]
pls write goodnight story to muh

oki thx

User avatar #2866 to #2860 - feelythefeel (8 hours ago) [-]
Chapter 1: Gay Dicks

"FUCK YOU AND YOUR ANALSAUSAGE FUCK FACTORY" Lucifer Niggerbastard screamed, giving the shape in the window a double handed flip-off. Mr. Moneyballs could go fuck himself.

"Fucking goats." Lucifer kicked a dented can of the sidewalk as he stomped away, ignoring the shit-brown images of grandmas fucking that smiled back at him from the label. "Fucking hate goats." Working at the analsausage fuck factory as a packing boy in the assfudge department had always been just a job, a job he hated, but a job nonetheless.

But then Mr. Moneyballs brought in the goats. Lucifer drew the line at goats.

"Always shitting all over the place, fucking the baby-skinners in their nippled sphincters." He groaned. "Jesus Chist. Wetback Niggers!"

A passing sack of babyshit bounced past, aroma blossoming into the air as the piss-yellow sun caught it's mottled face. "Hey Lucifer!" it said. "How's my favourite niggerbastard today? You look like you've had the gayest day to ever be a day!"

"It's been the gayest day in the history of gay days!" Lucifer threw up his hands, screamed at the blueballs sky. "It's been so gay, even dicks in asses and touching balls covered in chink-flip asslube couldn't match it for gayness!"

"Wow!" Daid the sack of babyshit. "That's pretty fucking gay!"

That's enough for tonight, hun. Have a good sleep.
User avatar #2861 to #2860 - KayRed ONLINE (9 hours ago) [-]
Once upon a time...

Your cock, rubbing against coarse grained sandpaper. Up and down, up and down. Until thick blood starts seeping through the abrasion on your shaft.

the end.

sleep tight.
User avatar #2853 - alexanderburns ONLINE (23 hours ago) [-]
New 52 Green Arrow. Yay or nay?
I've never read anything Green Arrow before, but Arrow and JLU have got me interested. Also thinking of getting into the one that starts in 2001, but I'd also want to get/read The Final Night first.
User avatar #2868 to #2853 - youngneil (6 hours ago) [-]
Honestly, I would have to say nay to anything New 52.
User avatar #2859 to #2853 - finblob ONLINE (11 hours ago) [-]
Green Arrow is only good because of his beard and witty jokes
#2855 to #2853 - anonymous (18 hours ago) [-]
#2812 - guardianatreyu (04/18/2014) [-]
I just got done with watching 'Son of Batman'. It was pretty good, in fact I like it better than the comics it was based on. It's almost nothing like the comics but it's definitely worth a watch for any Batman fan.
User avatar #2857 to #2812 - mrturferpop (15 hours ago) [-]
It was alright in my opinion, but I think DC movies have gone down hill.
User avatar #2858 to #2857 - guardianatreyu (15 hours ago) [-]
User avatar #2830 to #2812 - payseht (04/18/2014) [-]
since this is topical, fuck the Nu52. The animated movieverse put me off reading it. Superman kills without any regret, and Batman mutilates... fuck this modern version of heroes I grew up with
User avatar #2838 to #2830 - guardianatreyu (04/18/2014) [-]
Yea most of the New 52 is crap. And the movies don't really do it any favors either. DC will probably end up having to do another reboot to save themselves. Or they'll lose lots from pissing off so many fans, cancelling a whole lot of comics, and ruining characters to the point of no return.
User avatar #2818 to #2812 - payseht (04/18/2014) [-]
I fucking hated it. Watched with the gf and we both yelled at the screen at one point.
#2820 to #2818 - guardianatreyu (04/18/2014) [-]
I feel the same way about Nolan's Dark Knight series.
I feel the same way about Nolan's Dark Knight series.
User avatar #2821 to #2820 - payseht (04/18/2014) [-]
Except for the third one, it was brilliant. What didn't you like about them?
User avatar #2822 to #2821 - guardianatreyu (04/18/2014) [-]
The third was the worst one by far.

Plot holes, Christian Bale choking on nails trying to talk like Batman, the villains were butchered beyond belief, and most of all I hated Heath Ledger the most. His performance was just bad to me.
User avatar #2823 to #2822 - payseht (04/18/2014) [-]
Yeah... the Batman voice has been made of for the simple reason it's stupid as fuck. It's understandable tbat you need to disguise your voice but what Bale did was just horrible and just worsened with each movie. The animated series batman just made his voice a little deeper and that was enough...
Anyway, I'm finding it extremely hard to dislike Heath's Joker... what was bad about it? It was a different Joker, so you have to keep that in mind, but why do you think it was a bad one?
User avatar #2824 to #2823 - guardianatreyu (04/18/2014) [-]
His Joker just screamed typical movie psycho-path. Joker just has a certain unique psychotic personality that I just couldn't get from Heath. Personally I feel like people praised him so much out of pity, since he died.
User avatar #2828 to #2824 - payseht (04/18/2014) [-]
Your last statement is simply wrong. People praised him because it was a brilliant psychopath. He didn't do it for the money, or power, he did it because... reasons... or no reason at all. It's simply perfect. I'm repeating this, but you're wrong on that last one and I wish I could go in further detail why but I'm a little too drunk to.
If you have a problem with him, there's one angle I can understand. He's not really the Joker. The one I grew up with had a reason behind everything, and that is that he found it funny. This one just does it because... who the fuck knows (which is why people love it), which goes against who the character we know would do. That's the only critique I can actually understand.
Seriously, this character, known as the Joker, different from who we know should be the Joker, is great. Objectively great... as a Joker character, he falls flat, but as the psychopath killer that he is, he stands out.
We can discuss this further once I sober up.
User avatar #2833 to #2828 - guardianatreyu (04/18/2014) [-]
Good argument old chap. I still don't like Nolan's movies though. Maybe if Heath's Joker wasn't just wearing makeup and his skin was bleached white like Joker, didn't smack his lips with every other word he said, and was in a completely different movie with a competent director then maybe I could like him. But that's impossible so I can just hope someone can come along and do a near perfect Joker to take the rightful place as "The Best Joker".
User avatar #2834 to #2833 - payseht (04/18/2014) [-]
Well, guess this one is simply put into the taste department. If you don't like it, okay. I liked how it wasn't him being bleached and stuff in a "realistic" view of Batman. Some people agree with me, some don't. Guess it's all a matter of taste.
User avatar #2840 to #2834 - guardianatreyu (04/18/2014) [-]
There's a lot of thing that were unrealistic in those movies though. Especially the last one.
User avatar #2842 to #2840 - payseht (04/18/2014) [-]
We do not talk about the last one... the last one never happened...
User avatar #2801 - shrekis (04/17/2014) [-]
i wrote short stor wut u think:
i am an person

what u think
#2819 to #2801 - Deavas has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #2817 to #2801 - millennial (04/18/2014) [-]
-NY Times
User avatar #2803 to #2801 - Deavas (04/17/2014) [-]
User avatar #2799 - enteroreninenine (04/17/2014) [-]
I like goodnight moon
That's a good book
User avatar #2802 to #2799 - Deavas (04/17/2014) [-]
i like goodnight poon
User avatar #2796 - tranquilizer ONLINE (04/17/2014) [-]
"I have lost all the memory of the world which I used to call home. The oblivion consumed me, and I watched entire civilizations succumb to the flow of time. Eras pass by, yet I remain. Eternity is my destiny."

Because I thought it was cool
#2777 - averagewhitekid (04/17/2014) [-]
Just out of curiosity, what is this board's opinion on Their Eyes Were Watching God.   
We are currently reading it in my english class.   
So far I think its complete and utter shit, but I'd like to hear some other opinions
Just out of curiosity, what is this board's opinion on Their Eyes Were Watching God.
We are currently reading it in my english class.
So far I think its complete and utter shit, but I'd like to hear some other opinions
#2811 to #2777 - anonymous (04/18/2014) [-]
Worst book I ever had to read in an English class was White Tiger.
Basically was about a slumdog hindu who gets his family killed by killing his boss.
Which the teacher somehow thought meant India is a good place full of people who fight oppression.
I'm not joking.
User avatar #2804 to #2777 - Deavas (04/17/2014) [-]
it is complete and utter shit
#2805 to #2804 - averagewhitekid (04/17/2014) [-]
Thanks for the second opinion
User avatar #2806 to #2805 - Deavas (04/17/2014) [-]
theres a page where its basically about her masturbating and i read it over and over again and couldnt figure out where the fuck it was saying that
User avatar #2809 to #2806 - averagewhitekid (04/17/2014) [-]
Pretty much
and it sums up the rest of the book perfectly
User avatar #2786 to #2777 - bondofsnow (04/17/2014) [-]
My English class actually just finished reading that book.

I thought the book was alright. It had its brief moments of literary greatness but was mostly just random jibber-jabber. I kind of liked the odd style of dialect. 6/10, might read again.

Side note: my class read Virginia Woolf's "To the Lighthouse" prior to reading TEWWG. I thought To the Lighthouse was very dry and boring (one of the worst books I've ever read). Because of that, I looked at Their Eyes Were Watching God in a more positive way then I should have.
User avatar #2794 to #2786 - averagewhitekid (04/17/2014) [-]
I went from reading the literary masterpiece know as Of Mice and Men
to Fifty Shades of African, or by its better known name, Their Eyes Were Watching God
User avatar #2795 to #2794 - bondofsnow (04/17/2014) [-]
"Fifty Shades of African" -- That comment made my day

I guess the quality of Their Eyes Were Watching God is relative to whatever book you read prior to reading TEWWG.
User avatar #2797 to #2795 - averagewhitekid (04/17/2014) [-]
True I suppose
and yeah I thought of that one after 3 days of the audio book playing in class lel
User avatar #2798 to #2797 - bondofsnow (04/17/2014) [-]
I actually read the book, I can't imagine how horrible the audio book sounds.

-or in TEWWG language-

Ah aktuleey 'ed da book, ah canot 'magin 'ow 'orrible da audio book sound.
User avatar #2800 to #2798 - averagewhitekid (04/17/2014) [-]
As you can probably guess, the only way for a fucking human being to understand that language, was if they spoke that way themselves.
So we got stereotypical black woman reading the most stereotypical black lines ever.
User avatar #2807 to #2800 - bondofsnow (04/17/2014) [-]
I feel sorry for you, having to listen to that for however long you had to. I've been to the deep south of the United States, you can't understand a single word that the residents say. Its as if everyone's tongues are made out of lead so they can't speak properly.
#2808 to #2807 - averagewhitekid (04/17/2014) [-]
Nigga I live in the deep south
Come at me faget

Jk, yeah some of us are pretty ridiculous with how we speak.
User avatar #2810 to #2808 - bondofsnow (04/17/2014) [-]
Some places in the north also have horrific dialect, such as: all of central Pennsylvania (where I currently live), parts of Ohio, and Boston, Massachusetts. I can't say anything about the western part of the USA, since I haven't been there.

Sorry for offending you, I primarily was talking about the country parts of Alabama and Florida.
User avatar #2813 to #2810 - averagewhitekid (04/18/2014) [-]
I'm from Florida 1v1 me brah

i was kidding though bby
#2814 to #2813 - bondofsnow (04/18/2014) [-]
 FLORIDA!!! .gif related    

FLORIDA!!! .gif related

User avatar #2815 to #2814 - averagewhitekid (04/18/2014) [-]
So hows Pennsylvania?
You like Hockey? Watching the Flyers or Penguins?
User avatar #2825 to #2815 - bondofsnow (04/18/2014) [-]
Pennsylvania is pretty shitty right now. The sun shines bright so being inside sucks (too hot) but the wind is chilly so being outside sucks (too cold).

I like hockey and even though i'm a Flyers fan (I'm from Philly) i'm watching the Penguins right now since I live close to Pittsburgh at the moment and the Pens game is the only hockey game on tv.
User avatar #2826 to #2825 - averagewhitekid (04/18/2014) [-]
Shiet, well down in Florida the sun has been shining bright since the beginning of time, and the wind breaks a chillly 68 degrees sometimes seriously though, its fucking hot as balls, and the humidity is killer
User avatar #2829 to #2826 - bondofsnow (04/18/2014) [-]
It sounds like Philadelphia in the summer, but the main issue with that isn't the heat itself. The heat makes the already aggressive Philadelphians angry, so when you step outside theres a 90% chance you're going to be jumped. I would complain more about the upcoming heat that PA is supposed to get, but since PA just came out of a winter with -30F temperatures I think I can deal with a little bit of excessive heat.
User avatar #2863 to #2829 - KayRed ONLINE (9 hours ago) [-]
You're just an easy target dude. I've never been jumped, and I lived in north philly for a year (granted, it was a couple blocks off temples campus, and I didn't leave more apartment at night).

And I disagree with the whole "angry philadelphian" thing. It's really only a small population of white trash assholes who say "yo" more than is acceptable and the acceptable amount of "Yo"'s in philly is pretty damn high and where nothing but flyers' jesresy who are still jerking off to the idea of throwing snowballs at santa claus. They just give the rest of us a bad name. I mean think about it, most people in philly now-a-days (excluding some of the rougher neighbors) are educated 25's-35's who are very polite and cultured (at least it's starting to skew in that direction, with the industrial class dieing off and philadelphia's chief export turning into business and education).

Oh, and if you rode your bike in philly in the middle of the summer, you would know that there is no nicer place in the summer than Philadelphia.

Sorry for butting in, I just had to defend my city.
User avatar #2864 to #2863 - bondofsnow (9 hours ago) [-]
I've lived in West Philadelphia for almost my entire life (excluding the past few years since I had to move in order to go to college). I've never been successfully jumped (although people have tried) and I'm well aware of what my city is like. You said it yourself, you lived near a relatively safe place (although it is settled in N. Philly which can be a safe or unsafe place depending on the block) and you didn't leave your apartment at night, you have hardly seen what Philadelphia is like. Central Philadelphia is nice (there's no denying that) and N. Philly has some hot-spots, but the rest of the city is filled with racist wanna-be gangbangers.

I personally believe Philadelphia is hotter than a nun's cunt in summer, but whether or not the weather is nice/pleasurable is relative to the individual.

Before you call Philadelphia your city, explore outside the safe areas and learn what the city is really like.
User avatar #2832 to #2829 - averagewhitekid (04/18/2014) [-]
True, tfw no snow ever so everyone is the same all year
User avatar #2836 to #2832 - bondofsnow (04/18/2014) [-]
That sucks. Also, I heard Florida is a popular summer spot for the average college douchebag; is this true? If so, then I feel really bad for you.
User avatar #2837 to #2836 - averagewhitekid (04/18/2014) [-]
You got that right, every spring break.
I'll have to deal with more of them next year though, seeing as though its my first year of college
User avatar #2847 to #2837 - bondofsnow (04/18/2014) [-]
(The thread is at its limit)

Nice to know you've got a game plan. I couldn't get into PSU main campus so now I have to go to one of their side campuses for 2 semesters, then I can go to main campus. Besides knowing that UCF has a pretty good football team, I don't know much about UCF so I can't really say much about it. Good luck getting into UCF.
User avatar #2849 to #2847 - averagewhitekid (04/18/2014) [-]
( yeah it was with the other thread as well)

It is a little calming to already have something set out compared to most of the other seniors. I can't imagine how it would be to still be thinking about a career, probably just stress out even more. Glad I thought of it ahead. But yeah, thanks! Best of luck to you in PSU as well!
User avatar #2839 to #2837 - bondofsnow (04/18/2014) [-]
I have to deal with them every day at my campus (Penn State University). They're like flies, you try to avoid them but they're always there. Any idea where you want to attend college?
User avatar #2844 to #2839 - averagewhitekid (04/18/2014) [-]
I am very heavily planning on University of Central Florida, since they are the only public university in Florida that has the major I want (Digital Media)
If I don't get straight out accepted by them for this fall (which I don't get the results until this big block of results in May) then I will just go to the local community college for a semester and transfer into UCF anyways.
User avatar #2827 to #2826 - averagewhitekid (04/18/2014) [-]
Oh and sorry about tonight then for the Flyers
Penguins had a real close game yesterday (or two days ago now, since its 1:40)
User avatar #2831 to #2827 - bondofsnow (04/18/2014) [-]
Flyers haven't beaten the Rangers at their home in 3 years, all I want is a win. Do you watch hockey?
User avatar #2835 to #2831 - averagewhitekid (04/18/2014) [-]
Yeah I love it, I gotta root for the home team Tampa Bay Lightning of course. Although they also got beat in OT during the Canadians game
You guys will get your wins, I am sure of it. Flyers did good this last season. I want you guys to win it anyways, now that the Rangers got fukin St. Louis
User avatar #2841 to #2835 - bondofsnow (04/18/2014) [-]
As long as the Red Wings lose i'll be happy. I live in Penguins country at the moment, but most people around here are Red Wings fans, it's quite annoying.
#2854 to #2841 - averagewhitekid (21 hours ago) [-]
its k tho, my profile pic doesn't really make it look like I'm that manly lol
User avatar #2851 to #2841 - averagewhitekid (04/18/2014) [-]
True that
Welp, I'm gonna go pass out for tonight. It was nice talking to ya, and I'll see ya tomorrow
User avatar #2852 to #2851 - bondofsnow (04/18/2014) [-]
Nice talking to you too. Night man (or woman).
User avatar #2848 to #2841 - averagewhitekid (04/18/2014) [-]
Jesus I bet that would have been crazy to watch, I'll have to watch their next game.
I don't have anything against the Blackhawks really, but most of the kids who "love" them so much this year always seem to just point to them winning last year. So I just want them to get knocked out just to shut them up for a little.
User avatar #2850 to #2848 - bondofsnow (04/18/2014) [-]
I can't stand fans who constantly brag about one victory, even though it makes it fun to watch when their team loses.
User avatar #2845 to #2841 - averagewhitekid (04/18/2014) [-]
I'll give you that one.
I have tons of Blackhawks fans at my school for some reason, so I am really banking on the Blues to beat them out.
User avatar #2846 to #2845 - bondofsnow (04/18/2014) [-]
That triple overtime to beat the Blackhawks was pretty good apparently (I didn't watch, since the Penguins had the only game on my TV). I don't want the Blackhawks to win either, i'm still mad at them for beating the Flyers back in '10.
User avatar #2776 - thesemendemon (04/17/2014) [-]
My friend wrote a short story for one of his classes and I thought it was pretty good, where should I post it?
#2787 to #2776 - anonymous (04/17/2014) [-]
Post it on KayRed 's profile.
User avatar #2778 to #2776 - KayRed ONLINE (04/17/2014) [-]
He should post it on Wattpad, or Deviantart. There isn't really a good place to go to get people to read it, especially if it's just a short story.
User avatar #2792 to #2778 - thesemendemon (04/17/2014) [-]
It didnt make it past newest uploads unfortunately
#2772 - anonymous (04/16/2014) [-]

I want to try to read some comics (super heroes and stuff) but there's so many I don't know where to start, where can I read comics? Are there sites to read them like manga? Do I have necessarily to buy/download them?
User avatar #2779 to #2772 - payseht (04/17/2014) [-]
they're free
buy them if you can
#2791 to #2779 - anonymous (04/17/2014) [-]
But where do I start? Let's say I want to read Iron Man comics, which one do I download/buy first?
#2771 - iamstoopid (04/16/2014) [-]
**iamstoopid rolled image**
#2770 - iamstoopid has deleted their comment [-]
#2769 - iamstoopid has deleted their comment [-]
#2768 - iamstoopid has deleted their comment [-]
#2767 - iamstoopid has deleted their comment [-]
#2766 - EdwardNigma ONLINE (04/16/2014) [-]
I have too much stuff I want to read.
I have this big ol' H.P Lovecraft book next to me, and on what is usually considered the first story in the Cthulhu Mythos, I have this book series called Wild Cards recommended by a friend and the Dunk and Egg novellas, which are set 100 years before the events of Game of Thrones.

Help me decide between my undying adoration of Game of Thrones, my love for the crazy shit Lovecraft wrote and neat stories about viruses and super heroes.
#2788 to #2766 - fantasyexplain ONLINE (04/17/2014) [-]
Damn that is inded a hard choice.    
If by any chance that big book ol' H.P Lovecraft is the Necronomicon, then I applaud you for your excellent taste, and that you should be reading it first. <Gif is relevant   
However having read the Dunk and Egg novellas, and being the proud owner of the comic books based on them, I can only say that despite them not being GoT, they are still just as good.   
I have not read Wild Cards so I have no idea what they about, therefore I cannot not say anything about them. Try asking literaturexplain, if you want to know more.
Damn that is inded a hard choice.

If by any chance that big book ol' H.P Lovecraft is the Necronomicon, then I applaud you for your excellent taste, and that you should be reading it first. <Gif is relevant

However having read the Dunk and Egg novellas, and being the proud owner of the comic books based on them, I can only say that despite them not being GoT, they are still just as good.

I have not read Wild Cards so I have no idea what they about, therefore I cannot not say anything about them. Try asking literaturexplain, if you want to know more.
User avatar #2789 to #2788 - EdwardNigma ONLINE (04/17/2014) [-]
It is indeed the necronomicon, big, black, cool gold lettering and picture on the front.
Dunk and Egg stuff, I read the first one, The Hedge Knight, super good. Oh god Baelor what the fuck Should get the comics one day.
Wild Cards is about, like I said, super heroes, and a virus that makes people into them. Or mutants. Or you probably just die.
#2790 to #2789 - fantasyexplain ONLINE (04/17/2014) [-]
First off, awesome I also have it.
Second, I highly recommend the comics, great art and and stays true to the original plotline.
Third, Cool, I might just check it out then, however I am in deep with several other series , so I might first be getting around to reading them somewhere in the distant future.
User avatar #2773 to #2766 - finblob ONLINE (04/16/2014) [-]
GoT to celebrate me.
#2762 - kilroydotexe has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #2757 - monsieurhonkhonk (04/16/2014) [-]
About to reread Percy Jackson and Heroes of Olympus for the 4th time.
User avatar #2763 to #2757 - nought (04/16/2014) [-]
after reading it, it's actually pretty lame
User avatar #2780 to #2763 - badmotorfinger (04/17/2014) [-]
i thought they were pretty cool. A little kid oriented, but still enjoyable
#2749 - neutralgray (04/15/2014) [-]
Would comics fit this board? Because it doesn't seem right to lump them with manga.
User avatar #2750 to #2749 - payseht (04/15/2014) [-]
I'm at issue 3 with this. Seems like someone thought "What's the best things about comics" and made that...
Needless to say I'm enjoying it thus far but don't have a proper oppinion on it.
User avatar #2751 to #2750 - neutralgray (04/15/2014) [-]
It's funny you say that. Rober Kirkman, writer for this and The Walking Dead, has stated that is pretty much what he did. Everything he liked about superhero comics rolled into one. Keep going with it. It gets really good.
User avatar #2752 to #2751 - neutralgray (04/15/2014) [-]
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