assassin creed irl. .. inb4 people go with the monkey jokes I'm not sorry You can't make me feel sorry either godhatestags
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#1 - ballisticmistype
Reply +168
(04/23/2014) [-]
inb4 people go ******* with the monkey jokes
I'm not sorry
You can't make me feel sorry either
#2 to #1 - TheHutchie
Reply 0
(04/23/2014) [-]
I respect this comment. A lot.
#50 to #1 - metalmind
Reply +1
(04/23/2014) [-]
He actually calls himself the "Monkey King".
#85 to #50 - otherothersparker
Reply 0
(04/23/2014) [-]
aka king kong
#3 to #1 - flixoe
Reply +5
(04/23/2014) [-]
My mind right now
My mind right now
#12 to #1 - zippermonster
Reply +16
(04/23/2014) [-]
the funny thing is he actually learned this from monkeys while attempting suicide.
#5 - privilege
Reply +8
(04/23/2014) [-]
How is that physically possible when he spins on the ******* wall then managed to ascend anyways?

physicsexplain help?
#80 to #5 - mrgilly
Reply 0
(04/23/2014) [-]
Keep in mind, I'm 90% sure this dude was featured on Stan Lee's Superhumans show. If I remember correctly, he is an incredible climber because the muscles in his body are stronger, in terms of power generated compared to size, than that of an average human, especially ones that aren't usually strong like in the hand and wrist.
#8 to #5 - hazelnutqt
Reply +115
(04/23/2014) [-]
Okay so I've been a climber for a couple of years, and I can tell you two things
1: that's not a common climbing move:
2: It's done by something called "a jam", basically, he inserts his hand in a crack, then balls it up into a fist, causing it to become jammed in there, he then kicks his feet above his head, and using impressive ab muscles, lifts his free hand up to get a hold of the previously unreachable hold.
Basically, by putting weight on his balled up fist while he kicks up, and then actually pulling the hand OUT (or trying, since it won't come out, it's jammed), and pushing his feet INTO the wall, he allows for enough friction to lift his core weight

I can also tell you that while flashy it's very ineffective =)
#112 to #8 - adamks
Reply +2
(04/23/2014) [-]
How is it ineffective if it can get you to unreachable places? Are there better methods of doing that tool-less ?
#135 to #112 - angelious ONLINE
Reply +2
(04/23/2014) [-]
takes a lot of muscles is risky and spends too much energy
#142 to #135 - adamks
Reply 0
(04/23/2014) [-]
Yeah but if you can't get up otherwise?
#161 to #142 - mahnamesjakers
Reply 0
(04/23/2014) [-]
I think he just used poor word choice he probably meant inefficient.
#144 to #142 - angelious ONLINE
Reply 0
(04/23/2014) [-]
well i would rather find alternative route. i haventh really done too much of mountain climbing so dunno any other move...just using your feet more than hands is safer in mountain climbing(with hands just used for stability rather than actually pushing you up)
#169 to #112 - hazelnutqt
Reply 0
(04/24/2014) [-]
I'm not sure what you mean by tool-less
He's only using chalk and shoes to the best of my knowledge?
#170 to #169 - adamks
Reply 0
(04/24/2014) [-]
Well, I have no knowledge of climbing so I just wanted to point out that it would be without a pickaxe or whatever those thing are called
#171 to #170 - hazelnutqt
Reply 0
(04/24/2014) [-]
Aight, so there's to my knowledge no shenanigans involved here
Pickaxes are mainly used for ice climbing, I can't see him having it and I honestly can't see one being effective here
The main reason I say this is "ineffective", is one of the key parts of climbing is that you want to have your body as close to the wall as possible.
The closer you are to the wall, the better balance you will have, and the better balance you have, the less likely you are to slip
When you do a spin like that with the feet above your head and everything, it looks super cool, but you're also pushing your weight SOOOO far out from the wall, resulting in the fact that he's now in a situation where A: he uses TWICE the amount of core muscles to maintain control of his body (because his balance is so far out, if he has to catch a hold of a small grip, he will need precision, and since he has no balance, he has to compensate with seeeeerious muscle strength), OR he can attempt to "fling himself" at the grip, which is also a bad decision because he'd 1: only get one shot, if he misses he'll fall because no way you can land back on the wall when your feet originate over your head..
#174 to #8 - physicsexplain
Reply 0
(04/29/2014) [-]
Better explaination than i had. Basically its insane core strength, and having a supiror grip and center of gravity. he could have done the same by a short hop, but that would sacrifice his handhold.

IN other news, funny thing, now done with my coursework, i'm climbing towers for ericsson. Kind of related, with the freeclimbing and whatnot. Its a hobby for those of us who dont hate the climbing part of our job, and some of the ground (EF&I) guys who like climbing
#175 to #174 - hazelnutqt
Reply 0
(04/29/2014) [-]
Aww man physicsexplain commented on my stuff look at me now mum!
#14 to #8 - tacoindeed
Reply 0
(04/23/2014) [-]
to me it looked like he did an underkling, but oh well.

#15 to #14 - hazelnutqt
Reply 0
(04/23/2014) [-]
Yeah looking at it again there's not much room for a jam, but that would be one hell of a hold for an underkling :j I just sort of assumed that a jam would be the easiest way of doing it :j
#18 to #15 - tacoindeed
Reply +5
(04/23/2014) [-]
it WOULD be, but i dont think this guy is trying to be practical
#13 to #8 - aximil
Reply 0
(04/23/2014) [-]
Describe an easier way to do it then.
#17 to #13 - hazelnutqt
Reply 0
(04/23/2014) [-]
Honestly it's hard to tell you because I don't have an idea of what the route looks like up close, since y'know I've never actually climbed it and you can't see that much of it.. But presumably he had about the right idea when he attempts the leap for the hold, otherwise I'd look for some way to get my foot in or around he hand-hold then "standing up" on the one leg.

The problem with this method is, that it takes your center of balance wayyyyy off the wall, which is one of those rules of thumbs that you want to avoid.. (also, the whole upside-down thing)

I'm not an expert on climbing but this move is just funky. Cool, but very wierd =)
#16 to #13 - tacoindeed
Reply 0
(04/23/2014) [-]
have you seen the dynos a dyno is a move where you sort of throw yourself at the hold professional climbers can make? im willing to bet if this guy put some effort into this he could do it

he only does it like that because it looks cool
#19 to #16 - hazelnutqt
Reply +1
(04/23/2014) [-]
Yeah that's what I was tryin' to get at =) It's cool but not practical :j
#21 to #19 - fnatmidenpp ONLINE
Reply 0
(04/23/2014) [-]
Actually he's not trying much to be cool, he just learned it from monkeys
#10 - kulamia
Reply +83
(04/23/2014) [-]
#11 - iliekbats ONLINE
Reply +81
(04/23/2014) [-]
they're climbing through your windows, snatching your people up.
#37 - classydancingrobot
Reply +66
(04/23/2014) [-]
My thaugts
#64 to #37 - tinglyturtletaint
Reply +4
(04/23/2014) [-]
**** that, if Donald Glover plays spiderman we should have Micheal Cera play shaft!
#70 to #64 - guardianatreyu
Reply 0
(04/23/2014) [-]
There is a black Spiderman so Donald Glover probably could play him.
#73 to #70 - tinglyturtletaint
Reply 0
(04/23/2014) [-]
I know. My post was a reference to his standup.

Donald Glover ( Weirdo) - First Black Spiderman
#75 to #73 - guardianatreyu
Reply 0
(04/23/2014) [-]
I feel ashamed for not knowing this now.
#66 - responsible
Reply +39
(04/23/2014) [-]
I'M the only one who climbs walls around here, got it?
#38 - martiini
Reply +30
(04/23/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
#25 - matsezinado
Reply +27
(04/23/2014) [-]
#30 - herpitydorp ONLINE
Reply +19
(04/23/2014) [-]
MFW he goes for the dyno. Dyno is short for dynamic move usually a complete jump off the wall to another hold. Any other climbers on funnyjunk?
#63 to #30 - arsyro
Reply -3
(04/23/2014) [-]
Does Parkour count?
#131 to #63 - onderdonk
Reply 0
(04/23/2014) [-]
no
no
#90 to #63 - herpitydorp
0
has deleted their comment [-]
#97 to #30 - lepotato
Reply 0
(04/23/2014) [-]
Did that for few years.
#41 to #30 - onderdonk
Reply +2
(04/23/2014) [-]
yup
#100 to #41 - herpitydorp ONLINE
Reply +1
(04/23/2014) [-]
Cool. what's your preference? I prefer bouldering myself
#102 to #100 - onderdonk
Reply 0
(04/23/2014) [-]
I like bouldering for the challenge, the puzzle it presents. That's my jam maybe 75% of the time. But I like powering through a good top rope climb once in a while.
#105 to #102 - herpitydorp ONLINE
Reply 0
(04/23/2014) [-]
Same here except I just stay strong enough so when I can make an outside trip I can enjoy a nice 5.12a on sport then go project a hard boulder problem later.
#106 to #105 - onderdonk
Reply 0
(04/23/2014) [-]
I hurt my hand on a bad fall a while back, now I seem to have perpetual inflammation in one of my stabilizing ligaments. Crimps hurt like a ******* bitch. I've been stuck at V4 and 5.11 for like 18 months now because of the pain.
#107 to #106 - herpitydorp ONLINE
Reply 0
(04/23/2014) [-]
damn that sucks. If I had any advice I would say try and avoid closing off crimps whenever possible. I rarely close off my crimps unless its a super hard problem.
#109 to #107 - onderdonk
Reply 0
(04/23/2014) [-]
believe me, I've tried everything. Even took a break for 6 months. Nothing. Best I can do is stuff some cotton balls between my fingers and C tape them to stabilize the joint, and then avoid crimps. It's ********. Physical therapist says no damage, even did an ultrasound on my hand. It's just inflammation but it never goes away.
#110 to #109 - herpitydorp ONLINE
Reply 0
(04/23/2014) [-]
man that's rough I try to keep good care of my hands so I don't end up like that and so far no problems yet. Just recently sent my first V10 and V11.
#111 to #110 - onderdonk
Reply 0
(04/23/2014) [-]
nice, dude! it wasn't even a care thing, it was a freak accident. Fell on a boulder problem and just landed a little wrong. Bent my finger juuuuust right. you be aiight though. just remember to warm up your fingers and joints before climbing and use bag balm on your hands after you wash up
#113 to #111 - herpitydorp ONLINE
Reply 0
(04/23/2014) [-]
yeah one thing I am bad about is using anything to repair my skin. my joints and tendons are fine but my hands are like sand paper
#114 to #113 - onderdonk
Reply 0
(04/23/2014) [-]
best thing in the universe. stinky as hell and a little greasy after you first put it on but ohhhhh man is it good for your skin. i used to rip calluses off all the time, then I started using this stuff and never had a problem. you can get it in any drug store. CVS or whatever.
Weirdly, my dick stopped feeling so chapped once I started using it on my hands
#159 to #114 - fuelnfire ONLINE
Reply 0
(04/23/2014) [-]
OMG That stuff is the ****. Use it ******* tons, even up here in Canada. You ever climb with gloves? I have to use fingerless usually, altho I rarely use gloves for bouldering.
#173 to #159 - onderdonk
Reply 0
(04/24/2014) [-]
naw man, no gloves for me. i just take care of my skin. i have rappelling gloves I use sometimes if i'm doing a lot of belaying (not lead belaying though, I need to feel the rope) to avoid rope burn, but that's about it.
#119 to #114 - herpitydorp ONLINE
Reply 0
(04/23/2014) [-]
If I can find it I'll give it a shot some friends of mine swear by Giddy mint balm
#120 to #119 - onderdonk
Reply 0
(04/23/2014) [-]
i am not familiar with that particular product. i'm originally from the northeast and bag balm is made in Vermont, so maybe it's a regional thing
#121 to #120 - herpitydorp ONLINE
Reply 0
(04/23/2014) [-]
Possibly alot of pro climbers use it so I thought I might give it a shot.
#123 to #121 - onderdonk
Reply 0
(04/23/2014) [-]
meh. I used to work in a climbing gym, and a lot of "pro climber" stuff is just gear hype and sponsorship. i'd say compare the prices. a tin of bag balm cost around $7 last I recall and has enough to serve an entire gym's worth of people for about 6 months. see how much Giddy costs. I bet it's infinity times more.
#125 to #123 - herpitydorp ONLINE
Reply 0
(04/23/2014) [-]
Normally I would agree with you. But I actually got to talk to Jimmy Webb during ABS qualifiers and he said he loves it. He may do that just because of the sponsorship but I like to think he really does use it.
#126 to #125 - onderdonk
Reply 0
(04/23/2014) [-]
that may be, and it doesn't mean it's not great stuff. I just have a sneaking suspicion it's crazy expensive compared to other creative and effective solutions
#127 to #126 - herpitydorp ONLINE
Reply 0
(04/23/2014) [-]
5 bucks doesn't seem too bad to me. I think I'll give the cheap stuff a try first.
#130 to #127 - onderdonk
Reply 0
(04/23/2014) [-]
oh it's only 5 bucks? well **** son, why didn't you say that earlier? mail some to me in Holland and let me try it out, if it's that cheap. I can't get **** out here.
#132 to #130 - herpitydorp ONLINE
0
(04/23/2014) [-]
I will! they are currently sold out of all the skin care balms unfortunately. Oh and my bad it was 5.95 so it's closer to 6 ish with shipping since I there aren't any distributors I know of around here.
#59 to #41 - Metallicock
Reply +1
(04/23/2014) [-]
kinda
#101 to #59 - herpitydorp ONLINE
Reply 0
(04/23/2014) [-]
what do you mean by kinda?
#167 to #101 - Metallicock
Reply 0
(04/24/2014) [-]
I like to climb, but have never climbed stuff of the caliber you probably have. I'm probably as close to a beginner as it gets and only do it on occasion
#168 to #167 - herpitydorp ONLINE
Reply 0
(04/24/2014) [-]
well if you have a local gym, at least in my experience, it's super easy to make friends in the bouldering area and such. and having a friend to climb with definitely gets you to go climb more.
#42 - thefunnyside
Reply +17
(04/23/2014) [-]
Ezio ain't got **** on that bitch
Ezio ain't got **** on that bitch