anal lube sandwich. . My vagina smells because I swear to god you Coat your dick in mayo wary time WE MAYBE IF “r’ OUD STOP KEEPING THE LUBE IN THE FRIDGE AND A
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anal lube sandwich

My vagina smells because I
swear to god you Coat your
dick in mayo wary time WE
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Views: 36917
Favorited: 90
Submitted: 12/27/2013
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#26 - anon (12/28/2013) [-]
You guys don't know the meaning of vaginal terror.
There was this girl in my class last year who was notorious for getting off by putting foreign objects in her cunt and ass.
Now, everyone knew this kid had ****** up kinks. But it was that fateful morning in math class that changed everyone's perception of 'kink' forever. And I got a front seat view of the entire event. You see, I sat right across from her. It began like any other class; turn in homework, write down notes, etc. But then the people in our group began to notice a smell.
Yes, that's right. Vinegar. Then I look up and see her shifting around in her seat, obviously distressed. For the next half hour she squirmed. I put two and two together. She had a pickle. In her ******* vag. In class.
The teacher calls on her. She stands up. And she ******* SCREAMS. **** hits the fan. She falls to the ground and starts violently convulsing and jerking around.

Medic comes in, had to pull the pickle out in front of everyone.

#81 to #26 - onemoreminute ONLINE (12/28/2013) [-]
how moist of you to share
how moist of you to share
#34 to #26 - tyroneisanigger (12/28/2013) [-]
**** I laughed at that more than the content.

Anon was actually funny today.
User avatar #56 to #26 - edbanger (12/28/2013) [-]
Sounds like she was in a bit of a pickle.
User avatar #57 to #56 - alekksandar (12/28/2013) [-]
or a bit of a pickle was in her.
#31 to #26 - skullball ONLINE (12/28/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #30 to #26 - Sethorein ONLINE (12/28/2013) [-]
#54 to #26 - alekksandar (12/28/2013) [-]
pics plz
pics plz
#75 to #26 - manbob (12/28/2013) [-]
maybe it was a cucumber at first and she just left it in there for to long.....
#36 to #26 - willindor (12/28/2013) [-]
That's lewd.
User avatar #44 to #26 - alphagex (12/28/2013) [-]
I love me some pickles
User avatar #42 to #26 - mutzaki (12/28/2013) [-]
Was the pickle okay? Food shouldn't go to waste.
#52 to #45 - alekksandar has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #59 to #26 - xXMAQXx ONLINE (12/28/2013) [-]
sounds like a crazy orgasm
#84 to #26 - taurusguy (12/28/2013) [-]
And then anon being anon ate the pickle.
User avatar #55 to #26 - notbenstiller **User deleted account** (12/28/2013) [-]
Well did he save the pickle?
User avatar #63 to #26 - imagnetsux ONLINE (12/28/2013) [-]
kids, don't masturbate with pickles, don't douche with vinegar.
#27 to #26 - anon (12/28/2013) [-]
Apparently the vinegar salted up her vag so bad it puckered and tore **** up as your mouth would by sucking on a lemon.
#29 to #27 - greenzeopoweranger **User deleted account** (12/28/2013) [-]
This image has expired
that would be a very good henti manga plot
#2 - kaboomz (12/27/2013) [-]
This image has expired
User avatar #53 to #2 - cocoman (12/28/2013) [-]
"I should go"
#67 to #53 - messerauditore (12/28/2013) [-]
here you go!
#13 - Ninjaxon (12/28/2013) [-]
#11 - anon (12/28/2013) [-]
Grandpa's Ear of a Cunt
#43 to #11 - gitanisme (12/28/2013) [-]
It's almost like we saw the same pic ! Wow !   
Dude, this isn't Youtube.
It's almost like we saw the same pic ! Wow !

Dude, this isn't Youtube.
#49 to #43 - zytherman (12/28/2013) [-]
Dude this isn't youtube.   
Take your hate for liking a joke somewhere else
Dude this isn't youtube.
Take your hate for liking a joke somewhere else
#24 to #11 - nomsoms (12/28/2013) [-]
I cannot explain why, but I read this in an Irish accent.
I cannot explain why, but I read this in an Irish accent.
#6 - anon (12/27/2013) [-]
This reminds me of a super cool story I must share with you now.
I worked with a girl who was way into secks toys, but they were too big to use without lube. She got all kinds of horny and was out of lube so she legit used mayo. She failed to get it all cleaned out of her and a few weeks later she started to notice she smelled really bad. This went on for a while and she couldn't figure out why her lolli smelled all yuck and junk. She eventually went to the doctor and the mayo that was left inside of her ruined and started smelling and gave her a nasty infection, which eventually led to cancer, which led to hysterectomy.
True story, kids, or at least she said it was true and I kinda doubt a bitch would own something like that if it wasn't true.
Moral of story: Mayo can kill vaginas.
Pussy runs the world, mayo defeats the pussy, MFW mayo becomes the most powerful weapon in the world
Cool story, brodudes?
inb4 tl;dr
User avatar #39 to #6 - kualeifarne (12/28/2013) [-]
Well, I know what I'm never using for lube
User avatar #68 to #39 - sanguinesolitude (12/28/2013) [-]
miracle whip?
#7 to #6 - micekill ONLINE (12/28/2013) [-]
i once heard this girl tell me "i have done lots of abortions" then tell me it was a joke after i became all "eee, aaaa, uuuhh" (kinda shocked) later she told me she had been a man before, all serious, until a day after she told me "nah, dude, it was just a joke" her jokes weren't funny, it was more to make me make awkward faces so that she could laugh
User avatar #23 to #6 - insaneguy (12/28/2013) [-]
so... douchebags aren't necessarily bad?
#12 - ljhpie (12/28/2013) [-]
#15 - kaycie (12/28/2013) [-]
idk if this is an urban legend everywhere
but everyone in my town knows the story of the girl who used mayo as lube and a few days later had maggots in her vaj

User avatar #73 to #15 - ICEDgrunge (12/28/2013) [-]
In High School, a freshman girl was dared by seniors during a football game to masturbate with a corn dog.
She proceeded to, cos' why the **** not? And promptly learned she couldn't fit it in.
What did she decide to do?
Lube it up with ketchup of course!
She finally got it in, but when she went for her next stroke, she attempted to pull it out, and all that came out was the stick.
It was stuck in her entirely.
She tried to pull it out, and failed to do so because of the ketchup lube.
The Ambulance came, the football game was suspended, the girl was embarrassed almost to asylum and naturally had to relocate, but before that she got a number of kids suspended. Peer pressure is some mythical **** .
User avatar #16 to #15 - Blargosnarf ONLINE (12/28/2013) [-]
Wouldn't be possible, maggots live off of dead tissue only and cannot attack said tissue to make it dead.
User avatar #19 to #15 - soule (12/28/2013) [-]
Everyone at my school knew about the girl in the grade above me using frozen hotdogs as dildos, then they thawed and broke off inside her twat.
User avatar #20 to #19 - kaycie (12/28/2013) [-]
a true story in my school was a girl put apple butter on some guys dick and ate it off

he told everybody and during the black history month assembly at the end of a dance or something one of the black kids just said "Apple butter."
and the whole auditorium burst out laughing and screaming

but the girl cried, I felt bad
#58 to #20 - anon (12/28/2013) [-]
That's retarded. You don't go around telling random friends/acquaintances about sex with a girl if you plan on having sex with her again.
#21 to #20 - soule (12/28/2013) [-]
Oh, that's good.
#38 - jvcjvc (12/28/2013) [-]
In other news, in the village my mom grew up in, there was a guy that got his dick stuck in a bottle during a festival.
User avatar #80 to #38 - garentei (12/28/2013) [-]
How... is that even possible?
User avatar #46 to #38 - xboxonerules ONLINE (12/28/2013) [-]
Sounds like grounds for a holiday.
#3 - katha (12/27/2013) [-]
#10 - anon (12/28/2013) [-]
That's just disgusting. Turkey, anal lube, and cheese is way better.
User avatar #60 - turboderp (12/28/2013) [-]
This girl in school once used a banana.. What she fail'd to realise is that you shouldn't ever peel the banana first. obviously it broke in two. inside her. she tried to get it out, and it ended up well.. squeeze a banana with a fork and you'll get the picture.. anyway, she couldjn't get it out. In panic she went to the doctor. Unfortunately the only doctor on watch was her.. yes, you guess'd it, father. Awkvawd dad-sister talk right thee I guess..
the good news is, she got it out and is ok..
Bad news, her father doesn't buy bananas anymore.
#66 to #60 - yologdog (12/28/2013) [-]
She should have left it in there.

Let it ferment.
#51 - nortledrones (12/28/2013) [-]
This image has expired
>Chilling at school
>Spelling test
>I get all the words right
>She gives me a 90.
> ******* whore.
User avatar #82 to #51 - zeroxnight (12/28/2013) [-]
that happened to me too once but for a different class. it was this insane teacher
User avatar #62 to #51 - imagnetsux ONLINE (12/28/2013) [-]
wait what?
#5 - ramerez (12/27/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #8 - majormoron (12/28/2013) [-]
[gagging internally]
User avatar #33 to #8 - redstag (12/28/2013) [-]
[gagging externally]
#50 - cazabrow ONLINE (12/28/2013) [-]
We'll this'll be awkward if people look when I'm switched tabs.
#1 - warlockrichard (12/27/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#78 - sdeco (12/28/2013) [-]
When eating that sandwich
When eating that sandwich
#48 - sanbonzakura (12/28/2013) [-]
omg im crying
omg im crying
#40 - captainhobnob (12/28/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
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