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User avatar #5011 - mvukotich (06/19/2012) [-]
Alright FJ, I have an interesting situation on my hands. My ex gf, who is now one of my best friends, is confusing the heck out of me. She and her current bf have been dating for about 6 months now. They seem to go back and forth between being close to breaking up and then coming back together. She kids around with me that she gave him a blowjob, but she then tries to be serious and says she didn't do it. I'm not sure whether to believe her or to not trust her. And every time they have a problem, I tell her to break up with him. There's also been rumors of him cheating on her. She says she can't bring herself to do it and break up with him Any advice for what I should tell her or what to really believe.

And no, I'm not doing this just because she is my ex and I want her back or some bullshit like that. I just want to do the right thing and help her out.

Any advice?
User avatar #5016 to #5011 - boxdrop (06/19/2012) [-]
With the bj thing there is almost always truth to a joke like that. To find out if hes cheating you would either need to make friends with him and he might tell you or do a little foot work to find out either way if you tell her most likely shes gonna think your bullshitting her or just trying to break them up. From experience both self and from friends when dealing with an ex and their current bf/gf it normlly looks like your being an ass in their eyes but if your friends enough you will be forgiven. You might be best to just let it run its corse with them unless you have some sort of proof of anything so next time their fighting or about to break up try some advice to her along the lines of, think back to all the times a situation like this has happened and use your brain. You may wanna word it different maybe make it sound nicer. Hope this helps and remember dont try to go a mile out of your way to help when your just gonna get knocked back to the start
User avatar #5017 to #5016 - mvukotich (06/19/2012) [-]
Thank you kind stranger
User avatar #5018 to #5017 - boxdrop (06/19/2012) [-]
Not a problem. ive had to learn a lot of things the hard way so its always nice to try and help others so this way they don't need to learn in a way where multiple people are hurt or friends are lost. If your really good friends with her still and it would make her hate you, i just helped a friend whos bf was cheating on her he told me at a party she was at and he fucked some girl at that party i walked in on them laughed and took pictures because she thought he was. The biggest set back was she said ill give him another chance (number 9 or so) the advice i gave her was " pull your fucking head out of your ass open your eyes and see whats going on around you, if you are going to be that dumb you deserve anything that happens." She didnt talk to me for a month then out of the blue i got a text to meet at a bar and she started by saying thank you. So depending on situation and how long it goes get mean and throw out the blunt reality of whats going on
User avatar #5019 to #5018 - mvukotich (06/19/2012) [-]
True. The only reason she keeps him for right now is that she wants a date for homecoming, which isn't till october. Shes just been through a lot of shit in her life and shes been suicidal and always tells me she'll be single forever once they break up. I think the next time she starts up again about her problems, i'll try to give her a little hard dose of reality. She sometimes needs it and it would probably be best for her. Its just troubling to think shes going to all this length just so shes not alone
User avatar #5020 to #5019 - boxdrop (06/19/2012) [-]
playing around with suicidal and harsh reality can be a bit tricky, you gotta make sure you put the point across but let her know your still be their if she needs someone, im not sure if you ever wanna ever try to get back with her or not but if you guys were together and it ended but your better friends then you were bf/gf then friendzoneing yourself may be the best way to make sure she doesnt feel alone but shes not stuck with an asshole. For all you know it can go to friends with benefits. What is she on a scale of 1-10 to be worried about not having a date homecoming so far away? and be honest. Dont forget to remind her that (im guessing) you guys are still pretty young and to think at a young age you'll be alone forever is just a dumb thought to have, sometimes its not bad to play the field a bit and actually weigh out options
User avatar #5021 to #5020 - mvukotich (06/19/2012) [-]
She's already friendzoned me and i really dont care. I do always tell her im there for her when she gets into those moods or she gets into trouble. And shes about a 7 or 8. Shes a little big, but she looks really good for a girl whos a little overweight. Just a little. Shes just not used to being alone and she doesnt like it. She dated a guy for about a year and a half and he broke her heart and she thinks all guys are like that now. And yeah were in high school so i tell her that being a forever alone this young is just a stupid idea.
User avatar #5022 to #5021 - boxdrop (06/19/2012) [-]
Yea high school is far from anywhere near being forever alone, the dating game doesn't really get real till id say at least 20s thats how its been for me anyway. So being in the friend zone id say go for broke, try to open her eyes to the reality of the situations at hand and try to let her know just because one guy dumped her and it was bad doesnt mean it will always happen or be bad, use yourself as an example on how the two of you are still friends and if your not ashamed to let her know you reached out for advice to help her out let her know you got some help fomr a guy who was engaged to a girl who he was with for 6 years who then cheated on him with someone hes known since 4th grade (thats true, it sucked). Being single can help a bit it lets you evaluate the people you have been with what attracted you to them and how it went down this way you can make sure to use your head when it comes to who you get involved with, just because your single does not mean your alone
User avatar #5024 to #5022 - mvukotich (06/19/2012) [-]
Sorry to hear what you went through man. Couldnt imagine going through that and i really am sorry to hear that. Im single right now and i love it. I mean, im an only child, so im used to being alone. I try and tell her that she would be better off alone but every time she and her guy break up, its like she always has a back up plan or a "safety net". I was one of those but i didnt realize it at the time. I just say its ok to be alone and i tell her to look at me and how i turned out. Shes just one interesting girl
User avatar #5026 to #5024 - boxdrop (06/19/2012) [-]
Oh side note my ex and the guy she cheated on me with ended up with a few stds i walked away clean
User avatar #5025 to #5024 - boxdrop (06/19/2012) [-]
It sucked at the time it happened but now i look at it and wonder what would it have been like to actually get married spend everything i had on the wedding be married for who knows how long then find out shes cheating on me, her friends also found out after i dumped her that she cheated on me a few times before that. I got all the friends in the break up as well because her friends all got to like me and then found out she was fucked up after that, i also sent her a thank you card because after we split up i ended up hooking up with a few of her friends thanks to things she would tell them. Again you gotta point out to her their is a diffrence between being single and being alone, being alone means you have no one being single just means you dont have a bf or gf you will still have people their and if they are real friends they will be their if you have a problem and need someone to talk to or if you feel alone and just wanna have someone around
User avatar #5027 to #5025 - mvukotich (06/19/2012) [-]
Yeah when we became friends again (she hated me most of the beginning of last school year) i felt like it was just because she felt bad for me. but then we just started talking and talking more and more. she still wont talk about our relationship whenever i bring it up. i tell her about the forever alone vs. single difference, and she just says ok and she moves on. i just feel so much respect for her cause she was the only girl so far to ever take a chance on me. i just want to help her make the right decisions in the best possible way

And nice job on skipping the stds
User avatar #5028 to #5027 - boxdrop (06/19/2012) [-]
They were pissed saying it was my fault till i showed them the papers with the bloodwork and piss test that said i was clean, a friend even came along to the bar where i showed them and when they asked who she was she sadi she was the nurse and seeing how she already fondled my junk i owed her a drink, made their butthurt grow. A little advice for you, if you want more girls to take a chance on you then you just gotta go out there and do whatever it is you need to do in order to expand the group of people you know and remember if your turned down you just gotta say fuck it and keep going, you never know who will actually say yes. Being in high school all you need to do is make a few extra friends of people in different social groups this way if somethings going on the one you know might let you know go and stick by them after tht you meet more people they know and so on, after a while you'll basically surpass the social group thing and your options will get much wider. always remember to keep your true friends close though
User avatar #5029 to #5028 - mvukotich (06/19/2012) [-]
its just tough though. believe me i be myself but kids think im weird or im crazy. Our school actually follows the either youre popular or youre not rule. Its just tough and i do say fuck it and i move on. if kids dont like me, they dont like me. i dont need them to like me like other kids need them to like them. sometimes i wish i had a gf, but then i realize all the drama and bullshit id have to go through and just forget about it. its tough to be at a school where if you dont have a gf or bf or if youre not popular, you just are forgotten. oh well.

once again, very nice job with the butthurt
User avatar #5043 to #5029 - boxdrop (06/19/2012) [-]
well ill give your account a bit of a thumb boost and if you ever need advice on anything else dont be afraid to ask
User avatar #5044 to #5043 - mvukotich (06/19/2012) [-]
thank you very much kind sir. hope to talk to you another time
User avatar #5030 to #5029 - boxdrop (06/19/2012) [-]
Once your out of high school some of the drama ends and i know how you feel in high school mine had these half ass race wars going on and somehow i was looked at as a skinhead even though i had long hair and got along with anyone who wasn't a cunt. i was also the short fat kid, if you also have that problem just make sure to not eat just junk and so long as your family is not a bunch of pigmy's you'll most likely grow into it
User avatar #5031 to #5030 - mvukotich (06/19/2012) [-]
im a little fat but im not that bad. the drama is just hilarious to watch when youre not in it. just need some popcorn and watch the schools drama unfold around you. thats what i do all the time. and ive already grown into it and i dont look the worst
User avatar #5032 to #5031 - boxdrop (06/19/2012) [-]
so yea all you gotta do is wait till after high school and you actually hit the real world in some way. high school dating does however help you learn things that will or wont work
User avatar #5033 to #5032 - mvukotich (06/19/2012) [-]
Sounds good. Thank you for the help kind sir. made me feel better in how to deal with my situation and life in general. thank you sir
User avatar #5035 to #5033 - boxdrop (06/19/2012) [-]
Again remember harsh reality and suiciddal take a bit of a delicate dance but can work and seeing how your already on the friend zone so no worries on that you can upgrade to friends with benefits so their is something positive to look at and no matter what happens always be ready to nutup and go in full steam. Btw are you new to the site?
User avatar #5036 to #5035 - mvukotich (06/19/2012) [-]
Ive been here for about 2 years. just never really posted anything or did anything. why do you ask
User avatar #5041 to #5036 - boxdrop (06/19/2012) [-]
i did the same (to many replys cant go any further then the last one)
User avatar #5042 to #5041 - mvukotich (06/19/2012) [-]
yeah but im here now. no going back
User avatar #5038 to #5036 - boxdrop (06/19/2012) [-]
i looked at your profile and it has pretty much nothing...for somereason i didnt look at the signed up date
User avatar #5040 to #5038 - mvukotich (06/19/2012) [-]
i didnt register until january. just never really felt like it or thought about it until then. but ive been anon for a while and i never said anything. just never felt like it. i am lazy as fuck
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