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User avatar #37292 - tetusic (11/15/2012) [-]
Hey guys...

So I have a boyfriend that I love with all of my heart. Like...seriously he is my world. But he recently got a new job and now works 14 hours a day. At this new job, the manager is the same age as him. And they talk. A lot. I think the conduct between the two is inappropriate from a girlfriend's standpoint, because she calls him "sunshine", she writes "~name here~ love's you!" and hearts all over his truck's window in window paint, and she just seems to flirt with him. He always is quick to comment on her Facebook statuses, when he rarely even acknowledges mine. I don't mind them talking, because they work together, so it's inevitable. But I'm completely petrified that she has feelings towards him or whatever. He knows that I feel this way and I keep telling him to back off or tell her to back off and he always just tells me no, and I always tell him that he doesn't give a shit about how I feel in this situation, so I want him to tell her to back off. He always replies with "I do care about how you feel, but I would have to see a reason for me to tell her to back off." He honestly isn't one of those asshole guys that girls go after, he's genuinely sweet and nice and blah blah blah. This is the first insensitive thing he's done...This seriously bothers me to the point where I have started crying literally during class because of it. No matter how many times I talk about it, he just gets all irritated with me and gives me the same reply. I'm thinking about seriously storming in there one day and just bitching her out. Because I completely think she's flirting with him and he says "She's not, that's just how she is towards everyone. She doesn't have feelings for me. If anything, she looks to me as an older brother. She talks to me about guys she likes and shit." I'm just so uncomfortable with this, and it really hurts me. But I love him so much...

What do, advice? :/
User avatar #37321 to #37292 - smashingprodigy (11/15/2012) [-]
Going up to her while she's working will put your boyfriend in a bad place and it could get him in a lot of trouble. He will also be very angry with you, so no matter how uncomfortable you are with her, do not involve personal emotions in a professional environment. That being said, flirting at work might not be considered personal enough to warrant a warning, but if she's at the stage where she's writing all that stuff on his window, it is slowly beginning to cross the line. If your boyfriend has been trustworthy up until this point, then you should not worry.

If he had any reason to like her more than you, then he probably would've done something by now. Showing just the tiniest bit of jealousy also shows that you care about having him only to yourself. Just be at peace for now and just love him like you always have.
User avatar #37373 to #37321 - tetusic (11/15/2012) [-]
Well, see, he wouldn't care about the fact that they work together because he and I work together at his second job. I do definitely think she's crossing the line, but I don't want to get either of them in trouble at work...I'm really conflicted in this situation, because I want to tell her to back off, but I know he won't do it. :/
User avatar #37441 to #37373 - smashingprodigy (11/16/2012) [-]
You told him how you felt, but how exactly did you find out about this behavior? And since you work with him on his second job, is he as playful with you as he is around her? And another question, how far in depth have told him about why this bothers you so much? If he sees that it is truly tearing you apart, then he would stop. That's what I would do.
User avatar #37465 to #37441 - tetusic (11/16/2012) [-]
Because he has invited me over to the place for food several times when the rush dies down and he can talk to me while he cleans or something. She has been there several times and I have noted how she acts around him. He is a little more playful with me, but that's pretty much only because the job that we both work at is a lot more relaxed of an environment and he knows he won't get in much trouble if he plays around a little. I haven't told him how much it bothers me in very much depth, because every time I bring it up he gets really annoyed and irritated with me.
User avatar #37466 to #37465 - smashingprodigy (11/16/2012) [-]
Just ask him to listen and not to interrupt you. Sit down with him and tell him how it's been making you feel. If the frustration and discomfort really is that bad, then your boyfriend will understand.

To be honest, for him to invite you over even while the other girl is there means something. It's either to show her that he's taken by you or that he wants to see you more than he wants to see her. That can kinda be taken in a positive way.
User avatar #37477 to #37466 - tetusic (11/16/2012) [-]
Because at this point, I'm starting to realize that I shouldn't be upset with my boyfriend over anything, other than the whole not talking to her about backing off thing.
User avatar #37480 to #37477 - smashingprodigy (11/16/2012) [-]
Sluts will be sluts! And I think you're right. The only problem is crossing the boundaries between appropriate and inappropriate behavior at work. If he doesn't see her outside of work, then it should be fine.

Hold his hand and kiss him next time you see him at work!
User avatar #37509 to #37480 - tetusic (11/16/2012) [-]
He doesn't see her outside of work, but I know they text occasionally. I will try to make it more obvious that he's mine xD
User avatar #37510 to #37509 - smashingprodigy (11/16/2012) [-]
I'm sure your boyfriend will appreciate it, too!
User avatar #37511 to #37510 - tetusic (11/16/2012) [-]
He's not really the clingy type, but I am horribly affectionate so I have gotten "can't you tell I'm not in the mood to hold hands?" a lot xD He will learn to appreciate it :P
User avatar #37512 to #37511 - smashingprodigy (11/16/2012) [-]
There's no way in hell I would deny a kiss. Just make sure it doesn't go against any of the rules at his work.
User avatar #37513 to #37512 - tetusic (11/16/2012) [-]
Of course c: the last thing I want is to get him in trouble!
User avatar #37476 to #37466 - tetusic (11/16/2012) [-]
Honestly, now that I think about it, when he invited me over there the first time I was pretty happy so I took it as a positive note. He made it a point to hug me and hold me right at the cash register right in front of her, then later went on to tell her "So...that's Mackenzie," which made me feel a little happy because that would imply that he was talking about me and she knows who I am.

But mainly in this situation, it's her I don't trust. When he told her that that was me, she just went "meh." She typically initiates the flirting and is really touchy and gets too close to him, even when I'm right there. Every time I have been over there since, whenever she comes over to our table or goes to talk to him, my expression automatically changes and I spend the entire time they're talking glaring at my phone and occasionally looking up to take glances to see if she was leaving. He left the table the most recent time I was over there and he told me that she had said "I don't think she likes me." He just chuckled, shrugged, and went "Eh." It's just her that bothers me. I want her to back off.
User avatar #37317 to #37292 - natanhiel (11/15/2012) [-]
Honestly, even if he wasn't your boyfriend, a manager and her employee acting like that isn't professional at all.
User avatar #37372 to #37317 - tetusic (11/15/2012) [-]
:/ That exactly what I was thinking. She's the overnight manager and I really don't think it's appropriate or professional to be acting this way towards my boyfriend
User avatar #37407 to #37372 - natanhiel (11/16/2012) [-]
It's not. At all. It could be one of the least professional things I've heard of.
User avatar #37408 to #37407 - tetusic (11/16/2012) [-]
And it just pisses me off even further because he won't do anything to stop it. And it really just kills me. :/
User avatar #37303 to #37292 - loveyameanish (11/15/2012) [-]
You're just going to have to trust him on this one. If he loves you, it doesn't matter how many girls flirt with him, he's not gonna be bothered with any other girl.

My boyfriend works with his ex (Well, they were never together, but she's the only other girl he's done the deed with except for me) and she's a slut and a flirt who fucks everyone, but I'm not threatened because I trust him. I'll admit at the start it made me a little nervous, but I realised that it's just work and although she flirts with everyone I have nothing to worry about because my boyfriend loves me.

Just try to accept it, and know that at the end of the day it's you he's coming home and cuddling, not her. This girl is just a workplace acquaintance. Also, this thing of liking work and his workmates will pass. It's just a new job and he's excited about it. With time he'll hate his job and all that reminds him of it. He'll be so excited to come home to you every night.

Just try your best not to smother him with jealousy, you'll only push him away.
User avatar #37294 to #37292 - anonmos (11/15/2012) [-]
I dunno, if you go bitch at her your boyfriend is likely to take her side, since you will seem like the bitch. You should just trust him, if he says nothing is going on, you have no reason to believe otherwise.

Let her flirt with him, whatever, he's your boyfriend and since he's not the cunt-type, i doubt he'll leave you for her just like that.

Don't want to sound too mean and shit, but if you keep going crazy over this, i wouldnt wonder why he leaves you.
#37293 to #37292 - anon (11/15/2012) [-]
Whatever you feel you need to do is what you should do. If he won't stop these things for you then I would see no reason continuing with your boyfriend..Or just take a break for a while and if anything happens during that then you will know for sure what's been going on...Or if you're crazy enough you could always tap his phone. That could work too.
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