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User avatar #173218 - gabemczombie ONLINE (40 minutes ago) [-]
I need your help, advice. I'm supposed to write a speech for monday. It's going to be a speech you'd write for various events Funerals, award cermony etc. . So i figured i'd dedicate my speech to either Sergeant Avery Johnson from Halo or dedicate it to my Grandfather on my mother's side, whom i never got to meet because he died before i was born. Writing a speech about Johnson should be easier, but writing about my grandfather should be more meaningful.

Wat do?
User avatar #173219 to #173218 - newesttook ONLINE (34 minutes ago) [-]
Maybe use your Grandfather but work in a comparison to Sgt. Johnson?
User avatar #173220 to #173219 - gabemczombie ONLINE (34 minutes ago) [-]
I'm fairly certain that wouldn't work
User avatar #173221 to #173220 - newesttook ONLINE (30 minutes ago) [-]
Keep in mind I'm basing this on all I know about your grandfather...
User avatar #173223 to #173221 - gabemczombie ONLINE (29 minutes ago) [-]
He was a priest, and kind of a badass from what i've heard.

But i can't compare him to a videogame character, it feel disrespectful.
#173222 to #173221 - gabemczombie ONLINE (30 minutes ago) [-]
You don't know about my grandfather!?
You don't know about my grandfather!?
User avatar #173216 - guiguito ONLINE (54 minutes ago) [-]
She said she cares, and told me to think about it.
I heard so much "i love you" or "i like you" and shit like that, it became commas like "fuck you".
But no one ever told me they care, my brain cannot process this information.
User avatar #173211 - iliekcereal (2 hours ago) [-]
What do you do when you maybe fell out of love with your partner, but they haven't? She's buying me a tattoo tomorrow. Nothing happened, I'm just really stressed and hating myself and don't feel anywhere near capable of experiencing any type of emotion let alone love and I hate myself for that because we've been dating for almost 13 months and she absolutely loves me and I don't want to hurt her or let her or her family, but I'm really just not sure I'm capable of a healthy relationship right now. But I hate people who say "Let's just be friends for awhile while I sort myself out" because that never works. And I also have hardly any friends outside of her and my roommate and I feel like me being alone is literally the worst possible thing. I want things to be okay with us, but I'm not sure I can get over myself.
User avatar #173217 to #173211 - newesttook ONLINE (45 minutes ago) [-]
I'm sorry to say it but you ARE hurting her by staying together "for her" or because it feels "familiar" and "safe". Right now it seems like the noble thing to push past those doubts and convince yourself you're happy so that your partner isn't hurt by how you're feeling, but you can't truly give her the life of love she deserves if it's a strain. Even if you manage to stamp down the feeling of not wanting to be together, you'll carry the guilt around until you are both miserable. You're gonna have to have faith in 1) HER ability to confront these feelings with you and 2) YOUR ability to sit down and have the conversation while accepting that things could change.
Its tough, but these are things you have to deal with when you share your life with someone else.
#173210 - anonymous (2 hours ago) [-]
good video converters from mkv to wmv? it doesnt matter if it costs (we can get it for free wink wink) but it has to be as lossless as possible
#173209 - anonymous (3 hours ago) [-]
what decides how dark blue our text is?
User avatar #173206 - tsoper (5 hours ago) [-]
So apperiantly i lost all my attractions to girls and now im mentally fucked up.

The only girl im really focused on fucking is my sister and she doesnt feel the same about me, sadly. Hopefully that will change when her hormones kick in or when her period makes her vulnerable.

Im a pretty fit guy, workout a lot and stuff, most girls would consider me attractive, or at least semi-average attractive.

I dont wanna fuck other girls, unless theyre 12-15 petite with a slim body/pretty face and innocent. Innocence is sexy. My sister matches that description so i dont think i can find any better than her. Which is why im so into my sister.

Best advice is to ignore bitches completely, tell my sis im into her, wait for her to come to me when she gets really horny or has dreams about us having sex.

As of today i will strive primarily on improving my physical body. Maybe a job on the side.

Tired of not getting what i want. Tired of working for what i want. And tired of being unhappy with life. Fuck your depression shit. As of today, im re-prioritizing my priorities.

Onwards, faggots.
User avatar #173207 to #173206 - makotoitou (4 hours ago) [-]
Good luck with that I guess. I mean I'm judging a bit, but you got your shit together so yeah.
User avatar #173200 - gypsydude (5 hours ago) [-]
I think it's time I actually use my psychology education to help, and I want to help out my family. I'm a loner and I find you lovely cunts as a family I never had. So I want to help. If anyone needs to talk just PM me and I'll be there for you. Just hang in there. You all are wonderful.
#173202 to #173200 - dehumanizer ONLINE (5 hours ago) [-]
Could i enforce a no fap february on myself using physical self harm as a motivation?
User avatar #173204 to #173202 - gypsydude (5 hours ago) [-]
If you plan on using glue, then yes.
#173205 to #173204 - dehumanizer ONLINE (5 hours ago) [-]
I plan to hurt myself every time i think of spanking the monkey or looking at women with unclean intent. That way i hope to completely kill my sexsuality by accosiating it with extreme pain instead of pleasure. Its totaly normal right?
User avatar #173215 to #173205 - dudeheit (1 hour ago) [-]
OR you could spend your time wisely and dunno ... study, go to the gym, practice an instrument, make yourself a nice meal, cure cancer, fly to the moon, typical stuff
#173224 to #173215 - dehumanizer ONLINE (3 minutes ago) [-]
none of those things would solve my problem
User avatar #173201 to #173200 - tsoper (5 hours ago) [-]
Do what i do and randomly send online users instant messages. It beats omegle
User avatar #173199 - datblkkid (6 hours ago) [-]
ok...silly question but for some reason when I click "Next" or when I press the right arrow key on my keyboard FJ brings me to the same post over and over again.
I'm not sure if it's because of my browser or what but is there a way to fix it without uninstalling then reinstalling my browser?
User avatar #173187 - ScottP (8 hours ago) [-]
It's always a good idea to ask a girl out in person, right? If so, then does that mean I made the right choice in asking this girl to dinner? She seemed to like the idea as it will give us a chance to "catch up".
User avatar #173190 to #173187 - tikitaco (8 hours ago) [-]
Definitely ask her out in person. If you're thinking of taking her to a movie as well as dinner, make sure you hit the movie first then dinner. So you have stuff to talk about of course. Good luck!
User avatar #173191 to #173190 - ScottP (8 hours ago) [-]
Well the thing we're going on thursday isn't a date, as far as I'm aware, but I'm not really sure what it is either. She said it'll be a "great chance for us to catch up", but I think we haven't seen each other for only about 2 months.
User avatar #173192 to #173191 - tikitaco (8 hours ago) [-]
She might actually want to just to catch up as friends. Don't over analyze it and wait till you see her in person to riff how your dinner is going to tell whether it's a date or not.
User avatar #173193 to #173192 - ScottP (8 hours ago) [-]
Oh yeah definitely. I've learned to not overanalyze things
#173182 - anonymous (9 hours ago) [-]
I have a problem that even when people I know or used to know ask me to do something with them I immediately respond and say yes. The thing I hate is they won't talk to me for months on end but when everyone else they know is doing something else they ask me. It's like I'm the booty call of friends or some shit. They'll text me and I'll grab my phone and respond then 30 minutes to a week later they will say something back. I have such an overwhelming need to be included in something or have people want to do something with me that I hate myself for it. I wish I could just ignore them like they do me but I just get too depressed about it. Tonight my recently acquired girlfriend posted online that she wants to do something tonight but didn't ask me about it. I tasked her about it and she said she wanted to party. I don't do drugs or drink so I guess she was just doing it for my benefit but I dunno. Then after she couldn't find anything to get into she texted me and said we should do something. I wanted to say "oh yea after your party plans didn't go like you wanted" but instead I said "like what?". its now 3 hours later and nothing. Man when I get depressed I turn into that little bitch kind of depressed, I get moody, don't eat, pout, and finally post about it online. Really I just wanted to say this since I don't have people to talk to about it.
User avatar #173186 to #173182 - braveblue ONLINE (8 hours ago) [-]
You are a push over. You need to think about your True self before you start thinking about your friends. You need to stop being a doormat, welcoming everyone in and letting them do what ever they want. You need to take control.

What you are right now is a push over. I used to be like you but then I finally realized that mostly everyone is selfish and only out for themselves. Sure you can be someone who helps out others but you really need to watch out for yourself and stop being a dog that obeys on the first command. It's true that you may need people more than they need you but you need to grow out of that. Its not good to rely on others you need to find friends that actually respect you and like you, your current friends seem to treat you like an extra. You need friends that will be actively responding to you, maybe someone as equally needy as you so you never feel un-needed.

I guess what i'm trying to say is that you need to change or shit will just get worse for you. Being a booty call isn't a way to live for a person like you. You need people that will actually respond to you although I might be wrong as I currently have a headache and i'm not really thinking too straight so bare with me. Just think about it though, you really need to start being more independent is what i'm thinking. Good friends will be there for you most of the time. Best friends even more than good friends.

Sounds like your girlfriend thinks your boring lol. I think you might want to look for another one but hey if you like her and she really likes you back w/e. I just don't see it lasting for a long time from what it sounds like. She's your girlfriend but shes not entitled to only you but still she should have asked you as well if you wanted to 'party' with her.
#173189 to #173186 - anonymous (8 hours ago) [-]
Calling someone a dog and a pushover doesn't always fucking help. It'll probably just piss them off even more.
User avatar #173185 to #173182 - tikitaco (8 hours ago) [-]
You have to instigate that you want to do things and be active. The more cool things you do, the more people will want to be included in your activities. Instead of "like what?" you could have said something like "how about we watch a movie or something?". You know, like you have to plan your own events and people will want to hang out with you.
#173183 to #173182 - anonymous (8 hours ago) [-]
Maybe its because this tells me that I need people more than they need me
#173180 - gmanofwonder (9 hours ago) [-]
So, this is my dilemma.

I'm an 18 year old guy in high school, senior year. I'm in Maine and have decided that since this girl I've been seeing is pretty much waiting for some guy to lay her then rid of me, I've really wanted to get back into dating.

This sounds really sad, and it is. I'm not the most amazing guy but is there anyone out there willing to give me advice on a daily basis when it comes to dating again? I really could use someone to talk to that isn't someone I know personally because the people I might wanna date they know, so it'd be bias.

I just want honest opinions from someone. Guy or girl, anything. Please let me know if you're willing to do this for me. It'd be the world to hear some advice when I need it.


So, beside that... I just watched Pulp Fiction and wanna watch a similarly good movie. Anyone got any ideas?

The pic is my cat that I used my old pajamas that ripped to make him a coat. It was the winter time, poor kitty.

So I guess it's slightly related.
User avatar #173188 to #173180 - tikitaco (8 hours ago) [-]
Hey kiddo, first off ditch the bitch because clearly from the situation you've described, you're on the edge of a cliff but not ready to jump. Just jump already.
Second, If you're thinking about getting back in the dating game, you need to improve that confidence, and as well begin improving on yourself, and treat yourself like a project that's always improving. When you think you're ready, just directly approach the person you want to date and ask them honestly.
Lastly, If you haven't seen the big lebowski that's a movie I'd recommend, it's a very good watch. Cute cat my the way, he doesn't seem to be a fan of the coat. It might be interrupting his purrfection
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#173179 - gmanofwonder has deleted their comment [-]
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#173178 - gmanofwonder has deleted their comment [-]
#173165 - anonymous (13 hours ago) [-]
hey guys. My boyfriend is shy and he never makes the first move, I always have to initiate sex... how do I get him to come on to me sometimes?
#173203 to #173165 - dehumanizer ONLINE (5 hours ago) [-]
lose some weight you fat sack of shit
User avatar #173173 to #173165 - fffffffuuuuuuuuuuu (10 hours ago) [-]
Be direct. Bluntly direct.
User avatar #173166 to #173165 - genericnewfag ONLINE (12 hours ago) [-]
ask him
User avatar #173159 - istrollid (14 hours ago) [-]
join the stoner board www.funnyjunk.com/hobby/
#173158 - ruffntuff ONLINE (14 hours ago) [-]
I would like to earn more green thumbs for content.
What would be a good topic to do a comp on?
User avatar #173168 to #173158 - genericnewfag ONLINE (12 hours ago) [-]
whatever you know a lot about
#173195 to #173168 - ruffntuff ONLINE (6 hours ago) [-]
Hmm... I'd have to think about that.
User avatar #173161 to #173158 - focalanemo (14 hours ago) [-]
Random facts
#173196 to #173161 - ruffntuff ONLINE (6 hours ago) [-]
I think I'll try that. Thanks!
User avatar #173157 - tsoper (14 hours ago) [-]
Im going to confess to my sister that I find her sexually attractive...

Any advice on whats the best way to go about this?

Extra info: She probably knows from the numerous hints I gave her, but I dont think she's into that. Although some days she seems to show interest.

Im just going to be straight forward with her. "Hey sis, i just want to tell you that Im sexually attracted to you. I feel so horrible about it and its wrong but I just cant help myself. I just wanted to let you know because it hurts keeping it a secret and I dont know what to do about it... So just wanted to let you know, are you ok with this?"

Wish me luck. Anything else i should add in?
#173212 to #173157 - fistfireace (2 hours ago) [-]
This sounds like that one dude who usually comes on here and says he wants to fuck his sister.   He was a lying fuck.  So you could be too, for all I know.
This sounds like that one dude who usually comes on here and says he wants to fuck his sister. He was a lying fuck. So you could be too, for all I know.
#173194 to #173157 - genericnewfag ONLINE (7 hours ago) [-]
post results
User avatar #173181 to #173157 - gmanofwonder (9 hours ago) [-]
But um... If you bone her, you bone her.
User avatar #173176 to #173157 - gmanofwonder (10 hours ago) [-]
You've got to play it cool if you're gonna do this.

Now I know obviously this is some goddamn creepy shit, but man you're your own man and we all gotta deal with weird shit from time to time.

The best way to do it, is to lead into that conversation with an idea that you both can agree with. By the way, don't say sexually attractive; attractive is the same thing if you're talking to someone of the opposite sex in this society. She'll get it then and sexually doesn't need to be added.

Now, if I was in your spot?
something like this.
"Isn't it so fucking annoying how like, humans have to be attracted to people you don't like or some shit?"
She'll agree with it, go with it. She'll go into some story or some shit.
That would be the best time to say it to her.
"Yeah.. I mean your my sister and I'm attracted to you, and like, what? am I right?"
keep her laughing as you tell her this and hope it plays out for the best my man.

Good luck sir. Good fucking luck.
User avatar #173172 to #173157 - Decode (10 hours ago) [-]
If you're not kidding this is one of those moments where everyone knows it's a bad idea but you say "what's the worst that can happen?"

Then you regret this for the rest of your life
User avatar #173169 to #173157 - iridium ONLINE (12 hours ago) [-]
This isn't fiction bro. There's like a really good chance she's going to call you creepy.
User avatar #173170 to #173169 - iridium ONLINE (12 hours ago) [-]
At the very least. And she's probably gonna hold this against you for the rest of your life.
#173167 to #173157 - genericnewfag ONLINE (12 hours ago) [-]
oh god no stop
User avatar #173164 to #173157 - teoberry (13 hours ago) [-]
there is no way this would end well for you. js
#173160 to #173157 - ruffntuff ONLINE (14 hours ago) [-]
Show her a bunch of those "wincest" pictures and see how she reacts to them.
#173154 - ruffntuff ONLINE (14 hours ago) [-]
Hey, advice board

Can someone explain to me how to properly save .gifs? It would be much appreciated and will be rewarded with a green thumb.

THANKS!
#173174 to #173154 - fffffffuuuuuuuuuuu (10 hours ago) [-]
Right mouse button   
Save as
Right mouse button
Save as

#173197 to #173174 - ruffntuff ONLINE (6 hours ago) [-]
Sorry, bud. I'm just seeing this. I believe I've tried that before, but the .gifs didn't play. So you save it like a normal picture and it's supposed to move and all that when you view it?
User avatar #173177 to #173174 - gmanofwonder (10 hours ago) [-]
He didn't give you one, so I did instead.
#173198 to #173177 - ruffntuff ONLINE (6 hours ago) [-]
I delivered. I'm just seeing this. Thank you for your concern and green thumb, though! Both are much appreciated!
#173135 - anonymous (18 hours ago) [-]
I have a big insecurity problem I think.

I mean I have an Okcupid account and no pics of me. Still I can't message girls because I don't know, I'm afraid of rejection or humilliation.

How do I get over this?
User avatar #173175 to #173135 - fffffffuuuuuuuuuuu (10 hours ago) [-]
You gotta get past your fears. Do what you fear in order to kill it, take a risk. Without risk, you won't fail, and without fail you won't grow as a person. The pain you may receive after rejections is something you must learn to deal with. If you keep suppressing your fears, it will come back after you every time. What you resist, will persist. In order to change you gotta make the decision to fucking do it.

TL;DR: Do it to get over it.
User avatar #173149 to #173135 - hoponthefeelstrain (16 hours ago) [-]
what's the point of making an account on a dating website if you won't put our picture up? Rejection will happen and that's just something you'll have to brush off. Just have a little confidence. Dress better and work out, it'll make you feel better about yourself.
#173151 to #173149 - anonymous (15 hours ago) [-]
But that's the thing. I already work out but what if someone I know sees I have one dating account.

I would be so ashamed. But that's not even the main problem as I even can't talk to some girls I don't know just because they may be fuckin' rude. Or just becase I don't know what to say.
User avatar #173162 to #173151 - hoponthefeelstrain (13 hours ago) [-]
if your friend finds out you have one then it's because they're browsing okcupid too. When meeting someone new, ask about their interests and if you have one in common, talk about it together
#173171 to #173162 - anonymous (11 hours ago) [-]
thanks fella, you're right
User avatar #173116 - charizarddad (20 hours ago) [-]
how do file income tax? just got my first job in august of 2014 and just turned 18 two months ago. i got my w2 already, what now?
User avatar #173152 to #173116 - braveblue ONLINE (15 hours ago) [-]
Ask your parents.
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