You don't know that feel. Or maybe you do.. Yesterday. I realized I don? wan? die. NNW.. We I Ital? We I wash‘? supposed IN MAM Tm” o D o Id been cl luv when mg
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Click to expand

You don't know that feel

Yesterday.
I realized I don?
wan? die.
NNW.. We
I Ital? We I wash‘?
supposed IN MAM Tm”
o D o Id been cl
luv
when mg When We dad when mg mom
fold me told me
fold me
I MMS'
r dla/ owe gain
eill mom because
ml iill- she' ll gel
is sou
I believed her. I believed him. I believed her.
I believed that being born had
imprisoned them into ca life that
was poisoning them.
If I a
mistake Hoof
Haen I need i"
to compensate for
mg existence.
Hal' s uoey I work so hard,
As long as
here, I need
to make maself
useful.
had ruined mg parents lives to justify being alive.
moves in our rec -
room wax; we onle mg Itll " 'latt
Iameli could meg lonelier Er " I I
J 5% P T mulching Shelley
u k g C” cc, , bill norris
R and Robin Williams
e on rended VHS
tapes.
Theg felt like extended I
like distant Q
and uncles.
I' m wag no squeemish
injury or pain)
Cant even
watch eoin
mus! i.: uneed Io slop "weiird
Or mg hear? V
were spontaneously
inn me.
That
sounded
to me.
I love mg job, I love mg community and I love mg husband.
Abut if there were blink me our
CK button I could push of existence, no
would juse pd, hesitation, I would
push it
tij)
ait,
Some moray's ago A couple Last moneh
I fold mg husband I I back on
months ago I gm
donyt want‘ be Q therapist, ,
alive sing more.
l“ zondag,
for the first time in 31 gears,
I didm usinf to push that button.
Tuesday.
I learned
Robin Williams killed himself.
I lanai.) Mal his
w’ friends and {
u public spectacle of or am ones in
mourning -, real pain.
I know I dab’?
know I' llm as
a real person.
an it hurts.
If hurts that
gou' re toof here
mmg more.
It hurts War gm
were as part of mg Me
and goo purposely
ended gems.
Todai I realized that if the suicide of a stranger I never met
could feel like personal. painful loss, how much worse would if
hurl mg own friends and iameli even more lose me?
luv gums Bl
to have bad mam Io push
dogs than bullion.
tootoo
live.
...
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Favorited: 189
Submitted: 08/19/2014
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Comments(208):

[ 208 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#53 - eddymolly (08/19/2014) [-]
Can't stand needles   
   
Has several Tattoos  At least in the drawings, presumably the character is based off them IRL
Can't stand needles

Has several Tattoos At least in the drawings, presumably the character is based off them IRL
#128 to #53 - anon (08/20/2014) [-]
i am exactly that way and i want more tattoos too but i always have to psych myself up for them then i cry like a baby
#150 to #53 - nahbro (08/20/2014) [-]
They said they couldn't even watch getting a shot. Might have had something to do with too much blood, or else they just didn't watch the needle as they got tattooed.
#159 to #53 - politicalpuppies (08/20/2014) [-]
I friggin' hate needles, but I have had several large and painful tattoos and just got a frenum piercing redone yesterday. Shots at the doctor's, tats, or a _ mondo needle through my dick_ it doesn't matter, they freak me out and I sweat and stress until its over. But then afterwards I realize I got them all done

<---
#75 to #53 - themisstophat (08/19/2014) [-]
I hate needles, but I like having tattoos...   
   
Having a needle hurts (and I know it's to benefit my health) but all I see is a huge pointy thing that's going to make my arm hurt and then ache for the next 5 hours.   
   
Tattoo's you don't really see a needle, and it (personally) doesn't hurt that much... Plus you get something pretty out of it at the end.
I hate needles, but I like having tattoos...

Having a needle hurts (and I know it's to benefit my health) but all I see is a huge pointy thing that's going to make my arm hurt and then ache for the next 5 hours.

Tattoo's you don't really see a needle, and it (personally) doesn't hurt that much... Plus you get something pretty out of it at the end.
User avatar #142 to #75 - digitalfruit ONLINE (08/20/2014) [-]
> Implying you being healthy and continue living isn't a pretty outcome of needles
#116 to #75 - unholyjebus (08/20/2014) [-]
Needles have never hurt beyond their being a slight pinch for like a few seconds. On the other hand. I've heard that tattoos can be very painful yet I've never experienced that.
#206 to #116 - themisstophat (08/21/2014) [-]
Guess people react differently, even when I was put to sleep for an operation the stuff they injected me with was painful and made my arm ache... Yet tattoo's don't phase me what so ever.    
   
Strange how it works!
Guess people react differently, even when I was put to sleep for an operation the stuff they injected me with was painful and made my arm ache... Yet tattoo's don't phase me what so ever.

Strange how it works!
#108 to #75 - ninjabunnygo (08/19/2014) [-]
**ninjabunnygo rolled image** i agree with you. i hate needles but have a tattoo.i think my hatred came from a doctor who gave me 6 injections in both of my big toes for a operation. He wanted to start the operation after the 4th and was saying i was imagining sensation in the toes.....
#16 - carbohydrates (08/19/2014) [-]
My problem isn't death. Been okay with dying for, forever.
Suicide isn't a challenge. "Dying is easy; Living is the hard part."
My problem is: What happens afterwords? Who was actually right?

Atheists? Nothing happens. -- Agnostics? **** if I know.
Christians? I'd go to Hell. -- Scientology? Alien Space Magic.
Buddhist? My next life is gonna suck.

These are the things that keep me up at night... Crazy thoughts.
User avatar #45 to #16 - ogomer ONLINE (08/19/2014) [-]
Isn't it kind of exciting though?
User avatar #107 to #16 - manueldomingues ONLINE (08/19/2014) [-]
In my opinion, nothing happens, imagine sleeping without ever waking up, meaning, im an atheist. I´ve been exposed to christianity my whole 18 years of life, and i just cant believe it, i would LOVE to but cant, doesnt make sence to me, the **** i know and think about negates the existence of anything after death it´s just impossible to me to believe something after death happens. Religion was created by man to mask the ****** truth that is death, and i would love to believe in one, just any, but i cant, so i suffer every ******* day i have a freaking panick attack about this **** and im freaking 18 not an old guy. so here´s my opinion.
TLR nothing, imagine being asleep without waking up or dreaming or the moment before being born

P.S. i just hope in my lifetime we develope something that delays/stops death, but i know its like 0,000000001% of happening
User avatar #135 to #16 - pictureperfectt (08/20/2014) [-]
I think that's probably one of the only reasons one doesn't kill himself. The other is hurting another for going where they can't follow.
User avatar #140 to #16 - digitalfruit ONLINE (08/20/2014) [-]
I sometimes thought about killing myself JUST to know what happens after. But I know I would never kill myself unless I go crazy or something, it would traumatize my family, I've actually cried at the thought of me not existing when I was younger or dieing. I once had an accident on a ATV when I was little and flipped over (It was a tiny ATV meant for older kids to dick around on or little kids to drive) where I had to get rescued by my brother. Right in the middle of church (but this isn't a religious thing, I just went 'cause my mom made us) I started thinking about what if they never saw me and I somehow died at that accident, and started crying.
#181 to #16 - anon (08/20/2014) [-]
Scientologists actually just believe that you live again. New body, new life, the whole deal. Kinda like Buddhism, but without karma or the universe deciding what you become. They believe it's your choice.
User avatar #197 to #16 - luqmanr (08/20/2014) [-]
If you really think like that, and is serious, then I would suggest that you see what religion is like. Look around for muslim teachers, priests, budhist monks. I'm sure they would gladly share why religion matters a lot to them. And, if none of any religion touches your heart, then maybe being an atheist/agnostic your way to go.

I might not be the wisest man here, but I think, what matters most is that you live your live to the fullest, be happy, and make the world a better place for you and other people around you.
User avatar #26 to #16 - zaggystirdust (08/19/2014) [-]
when I was younger I would contemplate suicide just to find out what happened afterwords.

I'm glad I don't have those thoughts anymore
#72 to #16 - ctenop (08/19/2014) [-]
I try to use this, but still, I think a rational person would still worship an evil or bad god to stop an eternity of hell. That's what bothers me. I mean, Pope Francis saying atheists go to heaven helped, but he could be wrong. I don't want to pick a religion in case it's wrong, and most aren't right enough for me, but I'm still relatively naive (british, went to church for a while, etc.) I see how devout religious people can be horrible, or so nice. I want to go into finance, but I'm a carer for the elderly atm, and I love it, and it should get me some brownie points, so win win. I'm gonna study philosophy at uni, but I'm sure it won't help. I mean, even the new bibles could be totally wrong due to how we interpret them. Maybe worshiping the devil ensures a place in heaven. Maybe being good person isn't good enough. Maybe you have to do bad things, how far would you go to avoid hell? Would being a religion piss off a god more if you worshiped the wrong one?

I think the most important question isn't 'Does God exist' but more Does it matter if they exist?

Also I heard being a Juggalo means you can't go to hell, so there's that too.
#17 to #16 - youxbarstard (08/19/2014) [-]
I think the worst part of not existing depends on if you are aware of your non-existence.
#54 to #17 - shadowgandalf (08/19/2014) [-]
That would be a paradox.
To be aware, you need a consciousness. But if you are non-existant, then your consciousness don't exist.
#55 to #54 - youxbarstard (08/19/2014) [-]
And that's why I think it's the worst part.
#56 to #55 - shadowgandalf (08/19/2014) [-]
Then you DO have a problem with death.
#57 to #56 - youxbarstard (08/19/2014) [-]
No man weren't you paying attention?
I'm afraid of paradox's.
#58 to #57 - shadowgandalf (08/19/2014) [-]
Paradoxes don't exist. They are theorethic problems, that can't exist in reality.

#59 to #58 - youxbarstard (08/19/2014) [-]
OK now you're just being a boring tit.
#43 - essdubz (08/19/2014) [-]
When his Dad said, "I can't divorce your mother because she will get custody of you", he was complimenting him. How is that not a compliment?
#118 to #43 - anon (08/20/2014) [-]
The next shot was of her mom saying she is the reason her mom hits her. Her dad won't divorce his wife because she'll be stuck taking that abuse until she is either dead, or living alone.

Been in that situation with my own severely bipolar mother who likes to use cocaine to treat her depression, and beat us pretty often. My father wouldn't divorce my mother either, for the same fear that she would gain custody of my siblings and I.
#47 to #46 - essdubz (08/19/2014) [-]
How dare you use gender pronouns with me. In the English language, "he" and "him" are used to refer to a group of individuals with more than 1 gender, or if we are talking about a unknown gender, making it basically gender-less. Her is gender empowered and I cannot possibly get over the privilege of you cisgender piece of **** .
User avatar #63 to #47 - itrooztrooperdown (08/19/2014) [-]
This cheerd me up so much.
User avatar #67 to #43 - gnumag (08/19/2014) [-]
Maybe the OP is the kind of person who goes out of their way to make everyone happy. The ones who smile the brightest are the most tormented etc. If so, then they could interpret the statement as something like "Your existence prevents my happiness". The answer, by OP's logic, would be to kill themselves, so that their father could be happy.

Just my two cents, anyway. It's somewhat how my own brain works at times
User avatar #48 - aurumia (08/19/2014) [-]
"What may be a speck on your shoulder could be a boulder for others to carry." Or as my mother put it "Just because it doesn't get to you doesn't mean they are weaker for being hurt by it. We aren't all the same. Everybody's got a burden to carry and the same one can weigh more on certain people than others."
#50 to #48 - anon (08/19/2014) [-]
well i must be carrying the ******* universe on my shoulder
User avatar #51 to #50 - aurumia (08/19/2014) [-]
Probably not, but I don't doubt that it probably feels like that. I'm sorry.
User avatar #21 - btherteen (08/19/2014) [-]
I know this feel
But I cant kill myself, people made me promise
And those people are worth the pain but this world is heavy and I cant help but try to lift it
I know I cant change the whole wold in my life time but maybe I can be the moth that flaps its wings and causes a typhoon
Maybe long after im gone some little thing I did will instigate the beginnings of a better world or maybe I can help someone else flap their wings to
#1 - peanutsaurusrex (08/19/2014) [-]
God damnit, i thought this was any regular old depression post, but then freaking robin williams
God damnit, i thought this was any regular old depression post, but then freaking robin williams
#24 to #1 - anon (08/19/2014) [-]
everyone hated him until he died
#102 - mankey (08/19/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
#186 to #102 - anon (08/20/2014) [-]
10/10 did not expect and made me snort.
#85 - hashtronaut (08/19/2014) [-]
this.. this as a great post.

have this.
User avatar #86 to #85 - hashtronaut (08/19/2014) [-]
was*
#131 - moonboon (08/20/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #187 to #131 - princessren (08/20/2014) [-]
I forget the context of this
#81 - twentyseconds (08/19/2014) [-]
I'd be sad too
#148 to #81 - kingferret (08/20/2014) [-]
Never owned a drafting table detected.
You probably thought it was a desk you irredeemable ******* .
User avatar #204 to #148 - twentyseconds (08/20/2014) [-]
Its a joke. Calm your tits, I'm actually an architect but I do most my drafting on CADD.
#95 - aabbccddeeffgghhii (08/19/2014) [-]
I was going to mske a crack about her tattoos and how its 			********		 that she cant get a shot but can get tattoos... Then i remembered I have tottoos and still cant get an injection/give blood without 			********		 a brick... I'm a 			*******		 idiot.
I was going to mske a crack about her tattoos and how its ******** that she cant get a shot but can get tattoos... Then i remembered I have tottoos and still cant get an injection/give blood without ******** a brick... I'm a ******* idiot.
#70 - gnumag (08/19/2014) [-]
To anyone who might feel like this comic, remember that it will get better. You'll realise that what feels overwhelming right will turn out not to be as big of a deal as you thought. Until that day comes, take this: thenicestplaceontheinter.net/
#91 to #70 - zerokylin (08/19/2014) [-]
Male me feel good cry...
Faith in humanity + 20
Thank You
#167 to #70 - anon (08/20/2014) [-]
You... I like you.
#103 - anon (08/19/2014) [-]
#147 - Jowi (08/20/2014) [-]
Wow.. This spoke to me in ways I didn't think anything could.
Reading it word for word was like reading what I'd write about my depression if I could find the words between the choking melancholy.
I don't want to live, but I'm too much of a pussy to do anything about it. And I know I'd go to hell because all of the people that would be left with the grief. What hurts is that when I'm around them, it feels like they don't care. They don't want me. But if I died then I know they'd miss me. They'd regret forgetting to invite me to things, laughing at me when I was down, ignoring me after the first time I tried to kill myself because they couldn't deal with it.
Every day I wake up and feel ever more lonely and apathetic towards life, knowing that the only difference I could possibly make to the people I care about was if I just wasn't around any more.
These thoughts keep me awake at night, cause me to suffer nightmares and wake me in the early hours.
I'm so tired, both physically and mentally, all the time.

As for the Robin Williams part, he wasn't my favourite actor ever but I always loved his films, loved watching him on chat shows, watching his stand up. He could make you laugh like and idiot and cry like a bitch in the same scene.
I knew he was depressive, you could tell by how he acted, and to lose him that way when I am going through the same was like a knife in the stomach.

The only time that I laugh, smile or feel truly content is here on FJ because here I feel like people know what I'm going through. We fight and argue about trivial **** . We call each other " ******* ," "assholes" and "Phanact" but the insults are almost loving. Like brothers and sisters arguing. I feel like I have a family here. A ****** up family with cunts like itumblr and biebergotswag, but what family doesn't have its retarded cousins?
I come here hoping for solidarity. This post proves that at least some of you can relate to me.
I'm ******* crying here and, for once, not from sadness.
User avatar #202 to #147 - itumblr (08/20/2014) [-]
you wont go to hell man. god's got a place for everyone who is suffering. you'll get better man
#203 to #202 - Jowi (08/20/2014) [-]
Haha, thanks bro. It's weird. I've seen you post similar nice things before.
Why do you troll the rest of the time?
You can PM the answer if you don't want people to know your secret
#160 - reasonsxxxcause (08/20/2014) [-]
You have at least 3 tattoos..........
User avatar #163 to #160 - vatra (08/20/2014) [-]
self inflict. A tattoo is done by someone else, usually.
#165 to #163 - reasonsxxxcause (08/20/2014) [-]
Yeah but you pay someone to do it.
User avatar #169 to #165 - vatra (08/20/2014) [-]
Which means she was willing to pay someone to stab her repeatedly with a needle. Given her squeamish nature, she REALLY wanted those tattoos.
#178 to #169 - reasonsxxxcause (08/20/2014) [-]
Ok I'll give it to you that she probably wanted those tattoos bad, but its still seems hypocritical. Its like seeing an extreme animal rights person eat a cheeseburger right after giving a speech about how eating cows is wrong .
User avatar #184 to #178 - vatra (08/20/2014) [-]
I honestly can't see it that way. I'm trying but it just doesn't make sense to me. The feeling behind getting a tattoo versus hurting yourself, lets just say cutting for simplicity sake, is very different. They are actually viewed as on opposite ends of the spectrum. Tattoos are often viewed as an improvement or a testament. Cutting is only ever a detriment, even cutters view it as that, granted that's the point, but still. The two pains accomplish nearly opposite goals thus I cannot see them as the same.
#156 - yisumad ONLINE (08/20/2014) [-]
User avatar #125 - kalbex (08/20/2014) [-]
Wait am i on funnyjunk?

or littlebitchjunk?
#158 to #125 - dehnoobshow ONLINE (08/20/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
#84 - themtaw (08/19/2014) [-]
Everyday the thoughts about what i want to do get stronger and my biggest fear is that i won't be strong enough to fight them off. It's strange because i am afraid to die but yet i know i will someday lose the fight and i get to live knowing that everyone i love will suffer so much when i do.
User avatar #157 - donthatetheplayer (08/20/2014) [-]
One of the things that has stopped me from doing it, is knowing what it would do to my friends and family, especially since all most of my friends have already been through the ordeal of having a friend take their own life.
But there's also the other side of it, I feel if my friends and family found out that I was so far gone to the point of wanting to, it would hurt them almost as much. I feel like I do need to reach out and seek help, but I wouldn't want to put that burden on someone else's shoulders.
With not wanting to hurt anybody, I probably won't do it, and I'm too stubborn to seek help, I'm stuck in between a rock and hard place. And it only gets more painful as the days go by.
#180 to #157 - Byte ONLINE (08/20/2014) [-]
Always remember that there are people who care about you. And by staying strong, you are sparing them many tear filled nights.    
   
Plus, you can't eat cheese burgers or play video games if you're gone.
Always remember that there are people who care about you. And by staying strong, you are sparing them many tear filled nights.

Plus, you can't eat cheese burgers or play video games if you're gone.
#162 to #157 - pimpmeister (08/20/2014) [-]
Honestly, seek the help. You are a strong person if you can handle things yourself, but to deny that we rely on others marks us the fool and will only hurt us in the long run. I found help a long time ago, and I'm glad I opened my stubborn mouth to someone. Your friends do care about you and they would rather see you get help then sit back and hope that you're okay. They probably already see the conflict within yourself. I know that I would rather see my friends go get help. As well, that's what I'd like to see you do too. I'm sure the rest of the sane FJ would also agree with me.
Honestly, seek the help. You are a strong person if you can handle things yourself, but to deny that we rely on others marks us the fool and will only hurt us in the long run. I found help a long time ago, and I'm glad I opened my stubborn mouth to someone. Your friends do care about you and they would rather see you get help then sit back and hope that you're okay. They probably already see the conflict within yourself. I know that I would rather see my friends go get help. As well, that's what I'd like to see you do too. I'm sure the rest of the sane FJ would also agree with me.
#183 to #162 - neoliftboardrider (08/20/2014) [-]
I agree with what both Byte and Pimpmeister said. Also, if you didn't matter, or shouldn't be alive, then you would not exist . The fact that you exist is proof that you matter and that your life is worthwhile. Remember this always and remember that others need you and that you being alive helps them to have purpose in their lives. You have worth, help others and give others worth, just by being alive.
I agree with what both Byte and Pimpmeister said. Also, if you didn't matter, or shouldn't be alive, then you would not exist . The fact that you exist is proof that you matter and that your life is worthwhile. Remember this always and remember that others need you and that you being alive helps them to have purpose in their lives. You have worth, help others and give others worth, just by being alive.
User avatar #114 - deityzx (08/20/2014) [-]
I don't want to be an attention whore or anything so I'm sorry I just really feel the need to post this.

I've been depressed for several years, seen therapist after therapist to try and get myself better, prescription after prescription and nothing really seemed to help. I've thought about suicide and made plans more times than I can count, between just swallowing everything in the medicine cabinet to climbing out of the attic window and jumping head first into the pavement. But the one thing that has always stopped me isn't that I don't want to die, it's that I don't want to put those who do care about me, even a little, through the pain. Because suicide isn't just about you sometimes. Your life will be over but theirs wont, they'll have to live on knowing that you're gone forever and there's no way for you to come back.
It's painful, living on in misery but as emotionless as I seem on the outside, the thought of putting them through that pain brings me to tears every time.

finally after several years things are starting to look up, I'm getting the treatment that I want, that I've felt I've needed for a long time even though my family doesn't approve of it very much.

I know it can be really hard guys, I know it may seem like no one in the world gives a **** about you. But you just have to keep going, congratulate yourself for the little things like, hey you got out of bed before dinner time today, maybe you took a shower too. Tiny things like that can be very big accomplishments for people who are severely depressed.

if you've come this far I just want to thank you for reading this, please have a wonderful life.
User avatar #133 to #114 - pankikilord (08/20/2014) [-]
..I'm in the same boat. Minus the "got better" part. It actually recently got worse.
I'm glad that you're looking a little better. It's fantastic hearing people getting out of something like that.
User avatar #119 to #114 - kerfufflemachtwo (08/20/2014) [-]
I feel like I'm depressed, too. Don't have the time or money to get a proper diagnosis, but based on what little I know, I probably am.

However, I have never been suicidal. And the main reason is that if I were to kill myself, things could never, ever get better for me.

Even if there's a tiny chance of things actually getting better, it's still a chance. And if I died, then that's it. No chance.
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