Worst Job 3, The Cattle Drive. Here is the song that set off Gothasauraus Rex. www.youtube.com/watch?v=vi9hDrAVHa4. Funnyjunk background color it is then. Anywh
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Worst Job 3, The Cattle Drive

Worst Job 3, The Cattle Drive. Here is the song that set off Gothasauraus Rex. www.youtube.com/watch?v=vi9hDrAVHa4. Funnyjunk background color it is then. Anywh

Here is the song that set off Gothasauraus Rex.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=vi9hDrAVHa4

Funnyjunk background color it is then.
Anywhoo... recap. Lime is a dick. he is
fat. and he wants to be a boss wait did I
not go over that? Well now you know
and knowing... yada yada yada).
Lime was sour to work with. I mentioned
he was lazy but he was brutal. If you did
something in a way he didn' t like (by that
Imean. if you didn' t do anything his way),
he jumped your ass like Elton John on his
wedding night.
I cracked a small round pane for
a small window and he went off on me.
calling me anything but human. Of course
this was when Willie wasn' t around. He
was scared . Despite being Willie.
he was still Limes superior, but Lime
wanted to be a boss. maybe to feel important
I dunno, his reasoning was vague. Maybe
he needed more money to buy food because
I bet his entire check went to feed him and
his wife (yea, Lime was married. I' ll get to
her in a bit).
Willie and I got along nicely, we both knew
both of us were there for the same reason,
for the payote couldn' t give a rats ass
abou the company. We knew we were peons
but we and had a grand old time.
Lime hated this.
Lime: Get your ass moving.
Me: What?
Lime: Keep working, you’ re not here to
make friends. Shut up and work.
Willie and I continued our antics. Lime
hated my Beavis impression, so Willie had
me do it alot. It pissed Lime no end.
That was when he came. A temp came in
from Pro. 18, fresh out of high school, wears
a weathercocked and dresses like a biker
despite driving nothing bigger than a scooter.
It was Willie’ s job to train the temp, let' s
call him Phanact. Phanact took to Lime
like butter to bread. They were buddy buddy
from day one. Everyting Lime said. Phanact
was "Yes boss." No lip, no nothing.
After the first day, Lime took Phanact around
behind the machine and talked to him, after
that. he watched everything Willie and I
did and what we said. especially ifit was
about Lime. Phanact was a snitch. When ever
Lime wasn' t around. he was Limes ears.
It would take careful work to get around
Phanact.
One night after a shiit (a hour shift, ppm
to 2 am), I am waiting for my ride. I just
junked my previous car. a 1992 Saturn SCA
due to transmission issues. Both Phanact
and Lime walked out of the building and saw
me sitting on the curb waiting for my ride,
playing some Fire Emblem Awakening.
This was before the laptop to face incident,
so Lime doesn' t know my power. It' s
2 Arri, I' m tired as hell, sore, and Lime is
trying to taunt me. This can' t go well for
either party. Phanact is standing there in full
gear, ready to walk to his scooter which is
parked next to Limes truck in the handicap
spot, and Lime is commenting about me
playing my DDS and minding my own
business.
Lime: Video Games are for kids you little
faggot. You a pedophile or something?
I bet you are. ******* child rapist. Why
else would you have that?
Me: (2 am self. so I am balls tired),
Mcdonalds is for kids, I see you have no
problem eating that.
Lime attempted to take a swing, but you
could tell he was tired too. He missed and fell
into one ofthe rose bushes that lined the
outside of the building. I stood and watched
as Phanact try and lift him out of the bush,
but not even Thor himself could lift Lime
out of that bush. My ride arrived and I went
home. browsed Fl and went to bed.
Since everyone is so nice. here is another.
Three weeks later. I have my 1985 Ford
Tempo. also one week since the laptop
to face incident. I' m at my house, working
on the Ford. changing the oil and transmission
fluid. getting it good to go. I have my good
laptop outside. streaming music from my
file server, and I’ mjust enjoying myself
on the cool spring day.
I am under the car when I hear someone pull
in. Gravel driveway, kind of hard not to
hear. The engine shuts off. and I see four
feet emerge from the vehicle. I thought it
was my sister and her husband. The owner of
one set of feet walk to the front of my
car and start pushing down on it. The car is
on ramps. so it would be easy to bring it
down. I hear some clanking. and a creek...
hot motor oil pours onto my chest whos
only protection is a stained wife beater
undershirt. I scream a scream of 1000
banshees. _ .that ******* hurts.
I quickly rushed out from under the car, and
what do I see? Lime and Rex
his apparent wife. Ever see that picture,
Son. I am Moon?" wait lemmie get that for
Sinl,
well. He brought Rex to
laugh at rue and my car.
Lime: See hon. this is why I buy new cars.
Hearst got this. and is already fixing it.
She starts to laugh, when my Laptop changed
songs..... changed to Finger ******* Sally by
David Allen song for this
moment.
What is the one thing all really fat chicks
seem to be? Feminists.... well Feminazis to
be exact. I know I am painting with a
wide brush so I apologize ifi grouped you
into something you are not.
Anywho. Cockasaurus Rex starts on the
usual “Pin a CIS Pig and I should be
ashamed, blah blah blah." Lime starts over
to stop the song. I get in front and ask him
to leave my property or call the cops.
I pointed him to the no trespassing sign.
Lime pushes rue to the side, and takes my
laptop and slams it against my deck. The
thing is in pieces. Sure it was two years old
at this point, but it' s the principal ofthe
thing. He destroyed my personal property.
I walked into the house, and grabbed my gun
and had to drive Cockasaurus and her Bitch,
Lime off my property by force. Now I know
what a cowboy feels like on a cattle drive.
Sure they called the cops, I had an easy
defense. I do have a permit to own a
gun, and there is a no trespassing sign posted.
Lime and Cockasaurus were charged with
trespassing and destruction of private
property. It was a good day.
Maybe Lime isn' t a bad guy, he did get
my oil filter off for 1116.. nah..,
...
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Views: 60964
Favorited: 79
Submitted: 08/28/2014
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Comments(159):

[ 159 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#16 - boomitsassy (08/28/2014) [-]
Is this lime?
#124 to #16 - anon (08/29/2014) [-]
yes
#27 - wotterpatch (08/28/2014) [-]
And you didn't sue these people for everything they own?
User avatar #28 to #27 - thatguyontheright ONLINE (08/28/2014) [-]
What sue them for all the food in their fridge?
#35 to #28 - anon (08/28/2014) [-]
MOAR   
Gimme MOAR
MOAR
Gimme MOAR
User avatar #67 to #28 - ianmcgunny (08/29/2014) [-]
Well it sounds like they need to be on a diet anyway. Think of it as helping them get started.
User avatar #29 to #28 - wotterpatch (08/28/2014) [-]
Why not?
#105 to #28 - lifeanddeath ONLINE (08/29/2014) [-]
If you won you'd never have to go grocery shopping ever again.
If you won you'd never have to go grocery shopping ever again.
#134 to #28 - cerig (08/29/2014) [-]
Well yeah, sometimes you gotta drive the point home. Then again you'd probably be doing them a favor if limes and gothwife were as fat as you say.
#102 to #28 - xexion (08/29/2014) [-]
What food?
User avatar #10 - valarofcookies (08/28/2014) [-]
I applaud you for your self control in not force feeding him the laptop and helping him wash it down with the motor oil. Seriously, kudos there.
#49 to #10 - anon (08/28/2014) [-]
I know, I would have just beat him unconscious with a wrench and called the cops.
#20 - mrdth (08/28/2014) [-]
How in the world do you people (you, that carlos dude) find guys like this? I've NEVER ran into anyone that would be capeable of smashing someone elses laptop, or any of the other **** they do. Civilized people just don't do that. I am completely dumbfounded that people like this still exist.
Never met anyone that behaves like this, and not to be judgemental, but it sounds like all these stories come from america.
I have also never encountered a so called feminazi, or an active feminist for that matter. They also only seem to recite in america.

Entertaining story, but i can't relate in the least. And thank god for that!
#129 to #20 - anon (08/29/2014) [-]
*capable *reside
User avatar #21 to #20 - thatguyontheright ONLINE (08/28/2014) [-]
Lime isn't civilized.
#26 to #21 - mrdth (08/28/2014) [-]
Well, you would think that americans would be civilized.. I guess not
User avatar #38 to #26 - labree ONLINE (08/28/2014) [-]
PSSH, have you even been to america?its full of ******* retards and sad sacks of **** , all they want to do is make your day as bad as possible, and people that feel like they own everything dont want to single any race out, but black women fit this ESPECIALLY well.
User avatar #55 to #38 - cmilanes (08/29/2014) [-]
Hey, hey, hey, woah there buddy... being a little presumptuous aren't we? That being said, these people do exist, but as south park put it best -they're only 25% of the population.
#95 to #55 - kapkap (08/29/2014) [-]
only...
User avatar #99 to #95 - cmilanes (08/29/2014) [-]
I'm being so #5deep right now
User avatar #98 to #95 - cmilanes (08/29/2014) [-]
buddy, life is like a cart full of lemons being hurled at you at mach speeds. Sure, it hurts a bit and lemons get in your eyes and it stings, but if you can't get some lemonade out of the aftermath; maybe you should ponder why the cart hart hit you to begin with...
#8 - radioactivepainter (08/28/2014) [-]
This makes me so mad about what that fat 			****		 did
This makes me so mad about what that fat **** did
#22 - stimtheone (08/28/2014) [-]
I would have just shot them and used the 			****		 they were made of as fertilizer.
I would have just shot them and used the **** they were made of as fertilizer.
#146 to #22 - spceinvdr (09/02/2014) [-]
here ya go cowboy
#59 - hektoroftroy (08/29/2014) [-]
MFW someone in these stories actually got punished for the **** they did
#50 - victhree (08/29/2014) [-]
It had a fat feminist 			****		...   
It had a comedic hippie sidekick...   
It had a terrible boss...   
   
Now it has fire emblem awakening. It's a point of no return in awesomeness.
It had a fat feminist **** ...
It had a comedic hippie sidekick...
It had a terrible boss...

Now it has fire emblem awakening. It's a point of no return in awesomeness.
User avatar #149 to #50 - thatguyontheright ONLINE (09/28/2014) [-]
Maybe I can shop this as a TV show. "2000 calories is enough" sounds good.
#18 - anon (08/28/2014) [-]
Mfw reading these

S.N.I love how well you try to explain these story's
User avatar #61 - riffibanezius (08/29/2014) [-]
this is the best thing i've read since Mcdisasters, keep em comin!
#6 - uve (08/28/2014) [-]
maor pls
maor pls
#4 - nigasd ONLINE (08/28/2014) [-]
I am posting a comment to state my opinion of wanting a higher count of these stories posted on FunnyJunk.
User avatar #13 - psvxhero (08/28/2014) [-]
Lost it at phanact
#44 - violenthandjob (08/28/2014) [-]
"permit to own a gun" where do you live?
User avatar #45 to #44 - thatguyontheright ONLINE (08/28/2014) [-]
Michigan
User avatar #46 to #45 - violenthandjob (08/28/2014) [-]
Oh okay mayne, just got suspicious since most of the U.S. doesn't require permits to purchase. Out of curiosity what do you own?
User avatar #86 to #46 - thatguyontheright ONLINE (08/29/2014) [-]
I should clarify, I have a permit to open carry
User avatar #136 to #86 - violenthandjob (08/29/2014) [-]
Makes more since, even without it you would've been perfectly fine since you were on your property.
User avatar #56 to #46 - heraske (08/29/2014) [-]
Sig Sauer P226, shoots like a dream.
#73 to #56 - crazymannequin (08/29/2014) [-]
****** sigs man awesome guns. I'm conflicted whether to purchase a sig or a glock what do you suggest?
User avatar #103 to #73 - heraske (08/29/2014) [-]
Sig man. If Canadian Spec Ops use it, you can't go wrong. Besides, glocks are for squares.
#125 to #103 - crazymannequin (08/29/2014) [-]
I have always liked sigs. what model do you suggest?
User avatar #135 to #125 - heraske (08/29/2014) [-]
SP2022 or P226. Both are equally magnificent godspeed bastards.
#138 to #135 - crazymannequin (08/29/2014) [-]
Cool thanks do they come in calibers besides 9mm?
User avatar #139 to #138 - heraske (08/29/2014) [-]
.40SW
#140 to #139 - crazymannequin (08/29/2014) [-]
I heard about the .357 auto but they are hard to find.
User avatar #142 to #140 - heraske (08/29/2014) [-]
Field-stripping on the SP2022 is pretty neat though. Slides right off like butter, and can be done faster than loading a mag into your gun.
#143 to #142 - crazymannequin (08/29/2014) [-]
Yeah easy field stripping to me is a big plus for me and since Im aiming to be a federal agent I want to get used to guns with long trigger pulls like the glock or sigs
User avatar #144 to #143 - heraske (08/29/2014) [-]
Umm... Yeah!
User avatar #141 to #140 - heraske (08/29/2014) [-]
If you ask me, just stick with the 9MM. I ******* love it.

You can also steal 9MM from your range buddies
User avatar #79 to #73 - ideletedmyotherone (08/29/2014) [-]
If you want to shoot yourself in the foot, buy the Glock, otherwise, get the SIG.
#42 - yorker (08/28/2014) [-]
mfw "yes boss"
mfw "yes boss"
#74 - drakes (08/29/2014) [-]
"Seen 9:47 A.M." Drake reads off his Facebook messenger. "If only you could see my tears." he says.
#108 - tiles (08/29/2014) [-]
Oh god please more.   
I haven't been this intrigued since the Weeaboo chick stories.
Oh god please more.
I haven't been this intrigued since the Weeaboo chick stories.
#41 - luckyxiii (08/28/2014) [-]
Keep them coming!
Keep them coming!
#30 - youborn (08/28/2014) [-]
So Lime had a Phan
User avatar #94 - JariWeis (08/29/2014) [-]
If Lime was so sour to work with, why not call him lemon?
User avatar #101 to #94 - lemonlord (08/29/2014) [-]
Lemons > Limes.
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