Wings of Death. as seen on tumblr, to imgur, to funnyjunkr. i_ itoi' the challenge today! vixen wings doused in secret sauces made -V T othre hottest chillies k chicken wings funny restaurant challenge spicy
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#4 - dansanz
Reply +149
(06/07/2014) [-]
I remember my first (and last time) doing the Insanity Wing Challenge at East Coast Wings & Grill.    
   
Signed the waiver, got my safety gloves, and then they brought us water and sugar packets- they were 'out of milk and bread'. The wings came after a few minutes (I was doing this with a friend) and they were dropped in front of us like grenades. The staff acted like they were porcupines with snake fangs for needles and a serious need to hump something.    
   
The wing was blood red and looked like it had been polished by someone who worked with leather shoes all their life. Sauce was still running down the side of this thing and it smelt like Satan's asshole after the Haribo sugarfree challenge. It smelt like the cinnamon tree Aborigines would rub their ball sweat on after a good hunt. It smelt like an Indian woman I was going down on had just ripped the ripest curry fart an anus could handle and then laughed so hard she let out popcorn rounds.    
   
I didn't even taste the meat. Spice was love, Spice was life. I screamed and pounded my head on the table, drank enough water to force myself to pee and then cried in the bathroom because they wouldn't let me bring in the pitcher so I could drink more.
I remember my first (and last time) doing the Insanity Wing Challenge at East Coast Wings & Grill.

Signed the waiver, got my safety gloves, and then they brought us water and sugar packets- they were 'out of milk and bread'. The wings came after a few minutes (I was doing this with a friend) and they were dropped in front of us like grenades. The staff acted like they were porcupines with snake fangs for needles and a serious need to hump something.

The wing was blood red and looked like it had been polished by someone who worked with leather shoes all their life. Sauce was still running down the side of this thing and it smelt like Satan's asshole after the Haribo sugarfree challenge. It smelt like the cinnamon tree Aborigines would rub their ball sweat on after a good hunt. It smelt like an Indian woman I was going down on had just ripped the ripest curry fart an anus could handle and then laughed so hard she let out popcorn rounds.

I didn't even taste the meat. Spice was love, Spice was life. I screamed and pounded my head on the table, drank enough water to force myself to pee and then cried in the bathroom because they wouldn't let me bring in the pitcher so I could drink more.
#29 to #4 - traks
Reply 0
(06/07/2014) [-]
That ******* gif has spots from like 3 different ******* levels.
#57 to #4 - jakeattack
Reply 0
(06/07/2014) [-]
sauce on the live action part of that gif?
#65 to #57 - fandomsexual
Reply +1
(06/08/2014) [-]
It's from Air Force One, which isn't a bad film at all.
It's from Air Force One, which isn't a bad film at all.
#62 to #57 - dansanz
Reply 0
(06/07/2014) [-]
I don't even know, man. I do know the guy in the front looks like Tim Curry to me.
#64 to #62 - fandomsexual
Reply +1
(06/08/2014) [-]
That is not Tim Curry, my friend. That would be Elya Baskin.
#53 to #4 - thevsamovies
Reply +1
(06/07/2014) [-]
i think you used a tad too many memes at the point where you said
" Spice was love, Spice was life"
y...

Y
#60 to #53 - dansanz
Reply +1
(06/07/2014) [-]
Because that's it. That's how stupid I felt.    
Nothing existed but that burn. There was no joy, no sorrow, no anger. I couldn't see straight, I was banging my head on the table so hard. I punched the wall. I stood up and sat back down a few times, and I inhaled water. Nothing stopped it. I didn't hate, I didn't love. I just felt tears streaming down my face from the heat, and I felt my lips blistering. I was completely at the mercy of the scoville scale.    
   
For a few moments, there was nothing but a burn. Everything burned. My forehead burned, my tongue burned, my tonsils burned, my eyes burned, my lips burned...everything burned. There was no escape. I slid into a frame of time where I was made of nothing but pain, but pain stopped. That burn was all I knew. It stopped hurting and then it was there. Everything burned, but had it ever not? I was on fire, but was there ever a time I wasn't?    
   
I received my enlightenment in the middle of a fit of terror and ungodly amounts of heat. I was suddenly blissfully aware that this burn would last me for hours, and that there was hell to pay after it passed through my system. At this moment, I had to accept my attacker. I had to love it, and I couldn't lie to myself that it would get better. I had to know that spice was going to be with me for a long, long time, and it was going to be worse coming out than going in. Spice would be love, and spice would have to be life. I wouldn't survive any other way.
Because that's it. That's how stupid I felt.
Nothing existed but that burn. There was no joy, no sorrow, no anger. I couldn't see straight, I was banging my head on the table so hard. I punched the wall. I stood up and sat back down a few times, and I inhaled water. Nothing stopped it. I didn't hate, I didn't love. I just felt tears streaming down my face from the heat, and I felt my lips blistering. I was completely at the mercy of the scoville scale.

For a few moments, there was nothing but a burn. Everything burned. My forehead burned, my tongue burned, my tonsils burned, my eyes burned, my lips burned...everything burned. There was no escape. I slid into a frame of time where I was made of nothing but pain, but pain stopped. That burn was all I knew. It stopped hurting and then it was there. Everything burned, but had it ever not? I was on fire, but was there ever a time I wasn't?

I received my enlightenment in the middle of a fit of terror and ungodly amounts of heat. I was suddenly blissfully aware that this burn would last me for hours, and that there was hell to pay after it passed through my system. At this moment, I had to accept my attacker. I had to love it, and I couldn't lie to myself that it would get better. I had to know that spice was going to be with me for a long, long time, and it was going to be worse coming out than going in. Spice would be love, and spice would have to be life. I wouldn't survive any other way.
#10 to #4 - dvdfaust ONLINE
Reply +3
(06/07/2014) [-]
I swear to god you better upload this as content before someone else does.
#43 to #4 - punishlife
Reply +3
(06/07/2014) [-]
"It smelt like an Indian woman I was going down on had just ripped the ripest curry fart an anus could handle and then laughed so hard she let out popcorn rounds." genuinely laughed my arse off.
#32 to #4 - huntress
Reply +9
(06/07/2014) [-]
best review i've red this week. 10/10
#26 to #4 - loopzoop ONLINE
Reply +12
(06/07/2014) [-]
"and it smelt like Satan's asshole after the Haribo sugarfree challenge."
******* lost it there.
#14 - grimmwaters ONLINE
Reply +99
(06/07/2014) [-]
BY THE POWER OF NAUGHTINESS,   
I COMMAND THIS PARTICULAR DROP OF HOT SAUCE TO BE REALLY   
   
REALLY HOT!
BY THE POWER OF NAUGHTINESS,
I COMMAND THIS PARTICULAR DROP OF HOT SAUCE TO BE REALLY

REALLY HOT!
#52 to #14 - anon
Reply 0
(06/07/2014) [-]
in case anyone needs this in the future
#50 to #14 - dandlelion
Reply +3
(06/07/2014) [-]
Oh God old Spongebob was the best.
#3 - wearewe
Reply +52
(06/07/2014) [-]
**wearewe rolled image** MFW eating wings
#8 to #3 - phoenix grinder
Reply +1
(06/07/2014) [-]
my sentiments exactly
#12 to #3 - colincub
Reply +1
(06/07/2014) [-]
Schlitzie!
#30 - toesmash
Reply +10
(06/07/2014) [-]
**toesmash rolled image** Makes my mouth water with anticipation
#21 - crobog
Reply +10
(06/07/2014) [-]
#24 to #21 - atheistzilla
Reply +5
(06/07/2014) [-]
is there something i should be seeing here?
#27 to #24 - leodart
Reply +7
(06/07/2014) [-]
thats wingsofdeathx a popular league of legends streamer
#28 to #27 - atheistzilla
Reply +1
(06/07/2014) [-]
did not know that, thnx
#13 - whyohwhy
Reply +10
(06/07/2014) [-]
so spicy the chefs need special protective gear
#1 - coconuthat
Reply +5
(06/07/2014) [-]
hehehehe.... bitch
#19 - shaddz ONLINE
Reply +4
(06/07/2014) [-]
**shaddz rolled image** MFW I put them in muh butt
#11 - dvdfaust ONLINE
Reply 0
(06/07/2014) [-]
I lub me some spicy food, but it doesn't really take much skill to make something crazy hot, and at that point you hardly enjoy it. I dunno, I think some good spicy food needs some flavor. Favorite hot sauces thread?
#33 to #11 - fables
Reply 0
(06/07/2014) [-]
hi lub
#68 to #33 - dvdfaust ONLINE
Reply +3
(06/08/2014) [-]
Hey toots.
#71 to #68 - retrochris
Reply +4
(06/08/2014) [-]
You are an appreciated and valuable part of this comminuty for calling fables toots
thank you, kind sir.
#75 to #71 - dvdfaust ONLINE
Reply 0
(06/08/2014) [-]
What
What
#69 to #33 - lub
Reply +2
(06/08/2014) [-]
i didnt get the mentions >: O
#70 to #69 - fables
Reply 0
(06/08/2014) [-]
hi lub
#72 to #70 - lub
Reply +2
(06/08/2014) [-]
there we go
ur ugly
#73 to #72 - fables
Reply 0
(06/08/2014) [-]
ur rude lub
#74 to #73 - lub
Reply +1
(06/08/2014) [-]
ur judgemental
#36 to #33 - xcoreyx
Reply +1
(06/07/2014) [-]
I'm dad
#17 to #11 - undeadmaus
Reply +1
(06/07/2014) [-]
Is it worth it though? I mean sure there's spicy food that's good but is it that good that you will be willing to bleed from the anus?
#18 to #17 - dvdfaust ONLINE
Reply 0
(06/07/2014) [-]
That's why you gotta find a balance, mang. I generally don't get any fire during output, anyway.
That's why you gotta find a balance, mang. I generally don't get any fire during output, anyway.
#46 to #11 - thediamondhack
Reply +1
(06/07/2014) [-]
you should draw flames on it
#56 to #46 - dvdfaust ONLINE
Reply 0
(06/07/2014) [-]
To make it hotter?
#66 to #56 - thediamondhack
Reply +1
(06/08/2014) [-]
maybe colder
#67 to #66 - dvdfaust ONLINE
Reply 0
(06/08/2014) [-]
Faster, prolly.
#31 - enzothesomething
Reply +2
(06/07/2014) [-]
Everyone's FW they take first bite
Everyone's FW they take first bite
#37 to #31 - KillinTime
Reply 0
(06/07/2014) [-]
mfw eating supposedly "hot" food.
mfw eating supposedly "hot" food.
#48 to #37 - frodofaggins
Reply -1
(06/07/2014) [-]
you're so cool, I wish I could be a hardcore ************ like you bragging on the interent but alas I am not
#49 to #48 - KillinTime
Reply 0
(06/07/2014) [-]
"supposedly"

reading and comprehension is hard Mr. "Not a hardcore ************"