Two cows can go a long way
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#2
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whiteboyrick (08/12/2015) [+] (7 replies)
stickied by ponythreadftw
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You have two cows. They are both pissed that you called them cows and are pressing rape charges
You have two cows. They are both pissed that you called them cows and are pressing rape charges
#18
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mendelevium ONLINE (08/12/2015) [-] Funnyjunk
You have 2 cows
1 has autism
the other is self-centered and legitimately believes that every opinion it has is correct
That one also has autism.
You have 2 cows
1 has autism
the other is self-centered and legitimately believes that every opinion it has is correct
That one also has autism.
#45 to #18
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edgenotedgy (08/13/2015) [-] Doesn't everyone believe their own opinion is correct? Isn't that why we call them opinions?
#70 to #45
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shmengels (08/13/2015) [-] i think everything that is a matter of opinion cannot be truly thought of as correct or incorrect. issue being that some people believe that factual arguments are actually opinionated and therefore cannot be considered correct because it disagrees with their faulty view point
#146 to #45
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alleksi (08/13/2015) [-] Not necessarily. You can have an opinion on something, and yet be aware of the fact that someone else can have a differing opinion that is as correct as yours.
If I think movie A is better than movie B, and you think movie B is better than movie A, I wont think my opinion is "more correct" than yours, it's just that you have a different opinion.
If I think movie A is better than movie B, and you think movie B is better than movie A, I wont think my opinion is "more correct" than yours, it's just that you have a different opinion.
#168 to #146
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elcreepo (08/13/2015) [-] True but the whole point of having an opinion is to believe in that opinion wholeheartedly
Meaning that that you think, inside, that people who like movie B don't know good cinema.
It's called a bias, and it's a part of having an opinion. Not having an opinion, not having a side, makes you really ******* boring as a person anyway.
Meaning that that you think, inside, that people who like movie B don't know good cinema.
It's called a bias, and it's a part of having an opinion. Not having an opinion, not having a side, makes you really ******* boring as a person anyway.
#47 to #45
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vortexrain (08/13/2015) [-] Take everything you believe with a grain of salt. People are biased, you included.
#51 to #47
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edgenotedgy (08/13/2015) [-] Actually, I misread your comment, so please ignore #50 . I already do, but I also still believe it will be in the general area.
#49 to #46
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edgenotedgy (08/13/2015) [-] Well, people only tend to form opinions on subjects they believe they've gathered enough information on. The problem is that a lot of the times they tend to be incorrect, when it comes to their assumption, but they still believe otherwise. When they don't, their opinion changes to new one and the point still stands. Doesn't it?
#147 to #9
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anon (08/13/2015) [-]
Proper communism is when the state has more control over the people and people have less control over the state. This means that the state can achieve bigger things, but also increases the difficulty of getting rid of it in case of corruption. Flip the amount of control of the state and the amount of control of the people, and you get a democracy.
#113 to #95
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electronicbacon (08/13/2015) [-] What about the kids? If they have kids, their kids will stay in the Gulag until they die. So will their kids and so on and so on until somehow they get freed or the bloodline ends.
#143 to #140
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electronicbacon (08/13/2015) [-] I'm not "designing" them. I'm talking about how they existed.
My nan got sent to Siberia when she was around 6 along with her parents and grandparents.
My nan got sent to Siberia when she was around 6 along with her parents and grandparents.
#33 to #9
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hitbyadriveby (08/13/2015) [-] Well, it's technically right. It's more about the ideal communistic views and not the ones implemented by dictaors.
#151 to #23
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idontcarefornames (08/13/2015) [-]
But Communism plans to abolish the state and form a society made out of communities ( en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Communism ). It would be more like: "You can't have any cows because there is no private ownership. You have to milk them anyways"
#24 to #9
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dankrolls (08/12/2015) [-] **dankrolls used "*roll picture*"**
**dankrolls rolled image**Honestly, shouldn't socialism and communism swap texts here?
In a completed communism there is no state, so they would probably struggle to take anything...
Socialism is more about giving the government full control over the citizens...
**dankrolls rolled image**Honestly, shouldn't socialism and communism swap texts here?
In a completed communism there is no state, so they would probably struggle to take anything...
Socialism is more about giving the government full control over the citizens...
#15 to #9
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wellimnotsure (08/12/2015) [-] You're thinking of totalitarian dictatorships posing as communism. Common mistake
#96 to #73
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bigbadpapaboris (08/13/2015) [-] Unless you do as you should do and once the state has recovered from war/revolution or whatever give up the power and completely decentralize the state and let cities, factories, provinces and regions govern themselves trought local parliament and semi-direct democracy, this is the closest we can really get to a communistic utopia.
#178 to #96
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mikepetru ONLINE (08/13/2015) [-] Rights are not here today, gone tomorrow. Either you have them or you don't. Once you've established that the government has a right to your body, your property, your labor, everything about you, why on Earth should they ever let you go? They have the military and the law on their side, given to them freely nonetheless. You as a citizen told them you depend on them, and you gave them utter control over you. "Do as you should do" - does this imply I should consent to whatever I am ordered to do by the government without question? That sounds a lot like totalitarianism.
#180 to #178
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bigbadpapaboris (08/14/2015) [-] Because a true revolution is led by the people, not only a charismatic leader. A leader is just needed to awake the people from their slumber, let the people decide instead. Democarcy as we know today is just useless crap for the common citizen, no democratic party will ever change anything, they'll only do their intrest and the great investors ones, because that's how capitalism works. Landowners, factory owners, bankers, insurance companies that's what makes capitalism go round. What I'm advocating right now for may not even be communism anymore, but the free choice of the people for the people, only achivable trought a totally decentralized state. Who would achive this you may ask? The people themselves will achieve this, because only trought armed revolt we may force upon the state our true will, for the first time.
#28
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shmengels (08/12/2015) [-] i was preparing myself for the ********* of politics and economics to follow in the comments, then it got real good...
#8
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boomerpyro (08/12/2015) [-] Norwegian corporation:
you have a large amount of cows, you aren't sure how many.
you milk them and 78% of the milk is taken by the state.
you and your cows get free healthcare, free education and free road maintenance.
you have a large amount of cows, you aren't sure how many.
you milk them and 78% of the milk is taken by the state.
you and your cows get free healthcare, free education and free road maintenance.
#36 to #8
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sirkanesixtytwo (08/13/2015) [-] """""""""""""&q uot;""""""""""""&quo t;""""""""""""" """""""""""""&q uot;free"""""""""""" """""""""""""&q uot;""""""""""""&quo t;""""""""""""" """""""" Where do you think the milk went?
#16 to #8
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wellimnotsure (08/12/2015) [-] And a strange sense of lost heritage. Wondering how vikings could have turned into pussies.
#21 to #16
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boomerpyro (08/12/2015) [-] we started our war on odin when we started to hunt and eat ravens
#5
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aizeinstein (08/12/2015) [-] Funnyjunk
Your cow is autistic and unoriginal just like this joke.
Your cow is autistic and unoriginal just like this joke.
#7
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lejunkyfaceman (08/12/2015) [-] i love the last one from when i read the joke the first time years ago:
Surrealism:
you have two giraffes. the government forces you to take accordion-lessons.
Surrealism:
you have two giraffes. the government forces you to take accordion-lessons.
#26
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korka (08/12/2015) [-]
It was fun, until the capitalism one. Every other economic model is parodied in a way that try to show the flaws, except capitalism. Capitalism sounds like it's awesome and create infinite wealth for everyone.
Should just have treated it like the other.
something like
"You have 2 cows
You sell one and get a bull
But the milk price of a single cow is not enough to survive.
You have to sell the veals to your neighbour, who inherited 1 000 cows from his grandfather.
your cow eventually die
Your neighbour buy back your bull.
With the money you buy milk from him.
After some time, you have no more money, he hires you and you spend day milking cows for just enough milk to survive.
Should just have treated it like the other.
something like
"You have 2 cows
You sell one and get a bull
But the milk price of a single cow is not enough to survive.
You have to sell the veals to your neighbour, who inherited 1 000 cows from his grandfather.
your cow eventually die
Your neighbour buy back your bull.
With the money you buy milk from him.
After some time, you have no more money, he hires you and you spend day milking cows for just enough milk to survive.
#177 to #83
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mikepetru ONLINE (08/13/2015) [-] It doesnt matter if the guy inherited a million cows. If he does not properly care for them, if he doesnt make good business decisions, if he is not worth the wealth he has inherited, he will lose all of his business to competitors. The mind that cannot match the wealth inherited will soon lose it.
What you should do, if the inheritor is incompetent, is work for him. Take the responsibility upon yourself to care for the cows and demonstrate your value to his enterprise. He profits by keeping a share of the wealth/milk his cows provide. You collect a handsome salary since the inheritor knows his business is doomed without a guy like you around.
Socialism is the philosophy of one who replaces his mind by seizing the products of the mind.
What you should do, if the inheritor is incompetent, is work for him. Take the responsibility upon yourself to care for the cows and demonstrate your value to his enterprise. He profits by keeping a share of the wealth/milk his cows provide. You collect a handsome salary since the inheritor knows his business is doomed without a guy like you around.
Socialism is the philosophy of one who replaces his mind by seizing the products of the mind.
#115
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vonspyder (08/13/2015) [-] 4chan
you have 2 cows
you share porn of them
funnyjunk
you have 2 cows
one is a traditional Holstein that has been seen a million times before in a million other places amd everyone loves it. the other was created in a lab and is a color nobody has ever seen before and gives beer instead of milk, but everyone hates it. both cows are grass fed in north Korea.
facebook
you have more cows than you have actually met
you tell your cows about boring **** you do all day and show them pictures you think might get you attention. only a few cows seem to notice even fewer pretend to care, none of them actually do.
liberalism
you have two cows
the public said you don't need that many cows and that if you're in trouble you can just go to the grocery store to get milk.
conservatism
you have two cows
everyone tells you to let them mate and that two cows deserve the same rights that a cow and a bull would have but you tell them that the bible said not to worship golden cows.
you have 2 cows
you share porn of them
funnyjunk
you have 2 cows
one is a traditional Holstein that has been seen a million times before in a million other places amd everyone loves it. the other was created in a lab and is a color nobody has ever seen before and gives beer instead of milk, but everyone hates it. both cows are grass fed in north Korea.
you have more cows than you have actually met
you tell your cows about boring **** you do all day and show them pictures you think might get you attention. only a few cows seem to notice even fewer pretend to care, none of them actually do.
liberalism
you have two cows
the public said you don't need that many cows and that if you're in trouble you can just go to the grocery store to get milk.
conservatism
you have two cows
everyone tells you to let them mate and that two cows deserve the same rights that a cow and a bull would have but you tell them that the bible said not to worship golden cows.
