Truth about flying. Ladies, I would never laugh at your vibrator. I will, however, imagine you using it on yourself... Thanks heavens, now I can make sure to hijack a plane without suspicion. Life hacks tips Flying airplanes
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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#11 - anon (06/29/2014) [-]
your sister is a cunt
User avatar #189 to #11 - jokersaysamuseme (06/30/2014) [-]
I was going to say bitch, but alright.
#3 - sinery (06/29/2014) [-]
Thanks heavens, now I can make sure to hijack a plane without suspicion.
User avatar #103 to #3 - jacksipian (06/29/2014) [-]
i didn't understand that one, he said when they land they leave the flaps up so that it slows the plane down, they put the flaps up every time they land, I've been flying for years and they've never not put the flaps up. plus, when the hell do hijackers land the plane?
#113 to #103 - anon (06/30/2014) [-]
plot twist: your plane was being hijacked every time and you never noticed
#223 to #103 - anon (06/30/2014) [-]
To clarify, flaps down means they are extended and thus slow down the plane for landing. Flaps up will not slow the plane, and is abnormal for a landing, allowing those on the ground to notice the abnormality.
User avatar #226 to #223 - johnmacronstone (06/30/2014) [-]
**** me, forgot to log in.
User avatar #230 to #226 - jacksipian (06/30/2014) [-]
oh, ok. i thought flaps up meant that they were up to slow the landing, and down meant they wouldn't slow it down. i was like "flaps up is normal procedure, how does that signify terrorist threat?"
User avatar #238 to #230 - johnmacronstone (06/30/2014) [-]
Yeah, aviation is a bitch sometimes
User avatar #405 to #103 - frenulum (06/30/2014) [-]
they always try to land it.

towers just get in the way
that or the indian ocean.
#20 - skatin (06/29/2014) [-]
Wow, the majority of these are absolutely false. I work in military aviation and we deal with commercial liners nearly as often as our own grey tails.

First, flying dogs is safe with the correct company. Dogs do NOT sit on the ramp for extended periods of time. They are expedited into the climate controlled cargo bay and the door is sealed as soon as possible.

Potable water tanks. These tanks are sanitized with a mixture of white vinegar and bleach. They are cleaned, depending on the governing agency, weekly or monthly. Not only that, the trucks that transport potable water are sanitized weekly as well as monthly water tests from the FDA.

There's others, but those are the two I'd like to smash for now.
#26 to #20 - BoSvNCR (06/29/2014) [-]
When you say "military aviation" I hope you mean the Navy.
#27 to #26 - skatin (06/29/2014) [-]
Absolutely not.
#28 to #27 - BoSvNCR (06/29/2014) [-]
Oh god. What then?
#32 to #28 - skatin (06/29/2014) [-]
Air Force, what else?
#218 to #32 - kamikazikraut (06/30/2014) [-]
Some old numbers.......

The Air Force has 5,279 fixed wing aircraft - 2,100 fighters
The Air Force has 176 helicopters

The Army has 174 fixed wing aircraft
The Army has 4,715 helicopters

The Navy has 1,812 fixed wing aircraft - 768 fighters
The Navy has 543 helicopters

The Marine Corps has 642 fixed wing aircraft
The Marine Corps has 757 helicopters

The Coast Guard has 98 fixed wing aircraft
The Coast Guard has 143 helicopters.
#157 to #32 - anon (06/30/2014) [-]
Army has more aircraft than the Air Force...
#39 to #32 - BoSvNCR (06/29/2014) [-]
Navy Aviation is best aviation. At least you aren't some random pog wearing his uniform everywhere with the army
#190 to #39 - thewulfman (06/30/2014) [-]
While I agree that because you have to know how to land on carriers, Navy has better pilots, you're being an ass about it.
#203 to #190 - BoSvNCR (06/30/2014) [-]
Haha the butthurt. It's true though
#258 to #203 - anon (06/30/2014) [-]
He didn't seem butthurt to me. Just stating a fact. You're being an asshole.
#312 to #258 - BoSvNCR (06/30/2014) [-]
I wasn't saying he was? Keep down thumbing though. I care
#257 to #39 - kamikazikraut (06/30/2014) [-]
I'm watching you m8...
#259 to #20 - kamikazikraut (06/30/2014) [-]
Military aviation is vastly different from commercial aviation.. I did the whole military aviation bit for awhile **** you sequester and have been around civilian aviation my whole life.. Go big, don't fly the regionals.

The AF of 20-30yrs ago is vastly different from todays...

The decision to remove the A-10 was a HORRIBLE ONE Don't even ******* mention.... F-35

The AF women are far superior than any other branch tho....
#265 to #259 - skatin (06/30/2014) [-]
The Air Force, today, deals with commercial liners daily. We move an incredible amount of cargo through commercial liners and service the commercial liners per their regulations. That is, in part, how we got our regulations. I've been doing this military thing for quite some time now and it is blatantly obvious this post (the image, not yours) is full of crap.

I don't even know what a regional is. I work on the pacific channel, there is no regional here. Islands are a bitch.
#267 to #265 - kamikazikraut (06/30/2014) [-]
Regional airlines, like the small MD-80s that fly for the big companies. An example would be American Eagle and American Airlines.

The commercial liners that you're thinking of are the actual big air carries. I could be wrong, but this is what I've collected from my AF buddies . I recently found out that the AF actually has flight attendants as an MOS...

If you're working with international flights, that's a different standard.

Also, if you've been around the block several times, you probably have seen how vastly the military is changing now.. It's kind of sad for all branches... They're taking a cleaver instead of a scalpel to remove the "fat." Which usually leaves the bad eggs and gets rid of the good.

pic to even it out
#284 to #267 - skatin (06/30/2014) [-]
Oh okay, I see. Yeah, I deal with only international flights, I'm in Hawaii.

It's a job (MOS/AFSC), but more of a special duty like couriers or mail room. Extremely rare to get that job, I've never seen one.

The military is changing in a very bad way. We are cutting 25,000+ from the AF alone and, like you said, leaving some pieces of **** . I pride myself on top performance, but the majority of my day has me dragging my airmen around to do their jobs. It bugs the hell out of me.

That picture on the right (with the casket) was taken at the school for my career field. Trust me, those fools got no respect for what they did. I've, personally, dealt with HR transports at my last base and I get a knot in my chest every time I carry a casket. Call it what you want, but to me it is a final goodbye to a brother or sister. Then again, I am one of those who "drinks the kool aid" and loves the military.
User avatar #295 to #284 - kamikazikraut (06/30/2014) [-]
I'm incredibly jealous.. I have a buddy stationed there, sadly no one has seemed to be able to get a hold of him since the college days. First duty station too.

I gotcha.

And yes... This whole PC and EO ******** is killing it all.. There are way to many politicians in uniform as well.

I never had to carry a casket nor have I lost anyone "close" knock on wood . I was there for soldier to my left and right. We don't need anymore blue falcons/spotlight rangers.
#315 to #295 - skatin (06/30/2014) [-]
Plain and simple, Hawaii sucks for the military. It is incredibly expensive to bring troops/airmen out here and, as such, they don't do it very often.

Carrying caskets is rough, but I gladly do it. Somebody has to send them home.
User avatar #37 - altairibnlaahad (06/29/2014) [-]
Pilot here, ask my anything.
User avatar #407 to #37 - frenulum (06/30/2014) [-]
what was 9/11 like
User avatar #433 to #407 - altairibnlaahad (06/30/2014) [-]
Lots of death and 4 perfectly good Boeing aircraft were lost that day.
User avatar #70 to #37 - Silver Quantum ONLINE (06/29/2014) [-]
If Americans throw rice at weddings, do the Chinese throw hamburgers?
User avatar #71 to #70 - altairibnlaahad (06/29/2014) [-]
Probably, they're weird like that.
User avatar #72 to #71 - Silver Quantum ONLINE (06/29/2014) [-]
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money for all that Acme stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner?
User avatar #73 to #72 - altairibnlaahad (06/29/2014) [-]
It's more satisfactory when it's your own kill.
User avatar #75 to #73 - Silver Quantum ONLINE (06/29/2014) [-]
Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can't go that fast on any road?
User avatar #76 to #75 - altairibnlaahad (06/29/2014) [-]
Because **** the rules.
User avatar #78 to #76 - Silver Quantum ONLINE (06/29/2014) [-]
Are zebras black with white stripes, or white with black stripes?
User avatar #82 to #78 - altairibnlaahad (06/29/2014) [-]
They are neither, and they are both.
User avatar #83 to #82 - Silver Quantum ONLINE (06/29/2014) [-]
Why do people never say "it's only a game" when they're winning?
User avatar #84 to #83 - altairibnlaahad (06/29/2014) [-]
Because they're biased.
User avatar #85 to #84 - Silver Quantum ONLINE (06/29/2014) [-]
If feathers tickle people, do they tickle birds?
User avatar #86 to #85 - altairibnlaahad (06/29/2014) [-]
No, they stab them.
User avatar #87 to #86 - Silver Quantum ONLINE (06/29/2014) [-]
Why is it that lemon dishsoap is made with real lemons, but lemon juice is artificial flavoring?
User avatar #299 to #87 - mrbuu (06/30/2014) [-]
because all the real lemons are in the dish soap. also, we need more lemon pledge
#356 to #87 - thatoneangelo (06/30/2014) [-]
mrbuu well done you too. simply brilliant
User avatar #124 to #87 - eggoman (06/30/2014) [-]
Because you touch yourself at night
#390 to #87 - kiboz (06/30/2014) [-]
And now we wait for Joshlol to make content out of this.
User avatar #411 to #390 - joshlol (06/30/2014) [-]
I don';t have time to read all this ****
User avatar #416 to #411 - majormoron (06/30/2014) [-]
Lazy bitch.
User avatar #89 to #75 - nandaaz (06/29/2014) [-]
Actually, in Germany a lot of the roads don't have a speed limit.
And (I don't know if you mean 130 km/h or mph) in The Netherlands you have roads where you can go 130 km/h
#215 to #89 - anon (06/30/2014) [-]
Of course he means 130 mph, you twat.
Do they even still make cars that peak at 130 km?
User avatar #196 to #75 - Kadzait (06/30/2014) [-]
For passing other cars.
User avatar #101 to #37 - tylosaurus (06/29/2014) [-]
Is most of the content true or ******** here?
User avatar #163 to #162 - tylosaurus (06/30/2014) [-]
User avatar #165 to #163 - altairibnlaahad (06/30/2014) [-]
I didn't read the "true or" part at all.

So it's mostly ******** .
User avatar #224 to #165 - kamikazikraut (06/30/2014) [-]
There's a lot of truth in here though... Especially aviation now compared to what it was just a decade ago..
User avatar #225 to #224 - altairibnlaahad (06/30/2014) [-]
I'm not denying the truths. I kinda exaggerated a bit, but some of these aren't completely true though.
User avatar #229 to #225 - kamikazikraut (06/30/2014) [-]
I feel like this comp is more exaggerated... I will have to test the locked stall...
User avatar #171 to #165 - tylosaurus (06/30/2014) [-]
Ah, I see. Alright.
User avatar #143 to #37 - thefloppinater (06/30/2014) [-]
Does your anything like flying with you?
User avatar #209 to #37 - asongulol (06/30/2014) [-]
wtf you're really wisdomful
User avatar #275 to #37 - yaybacon (06/30/2014) [-]
What happens when you hit a bird?
User avatar #276 to #275 - altairibnlaahad (06/30/2014) [-]
Depends where it hits.

Bad **** no matter what.
User avatar #294 to #276 - andiminius (06/30/2014) [-]
I've hit a bird on several occasions. Thankfully it only hit the fuselage. Scared the **** outa me, though.
User avatar #343 to #37 - entertaining (06/30/2014) [-]
Has there actually been times you have experienced or heard of the pilots having sex with the flight attendants? Or the passengers on the planes having sex in the lavatories? Or just sex on a plane in general?
User avatar #430 to #343 - altairibnlaahad (06/30/2014) [-]
See below
#246 to #37 - anon (06/30/2014) [-]
Did you have to pass an alternative color blindness test to in order for the FAA medical examiner to pass you? Also, how do you like it. I plan on becoming a pilots once I graduate high school, which is next year. Did you get a degree before getting you licenses/ratings or vice versa?
User avatar #250 to #246 - altairibnlaahad (06/30/2014) [-]
Actually I might have, it was a while ago.
User avatar #248 to #246 - altairibnlaahad (06/30/2014) [-]
I don't remember taking a color blindness test during the medical. You get your ratings as you work on your degree, and you'll probably get some after you graduate. It just depends on you.
User avatar #261 to #248 - irevolutions (06/30/2014) [-]
thanks for the info
User avatar #290 to #37 - becauseoprahsaidso (06/30/2014) [-]
How big was the biggest cock you've ever taken?
User avatar #292 to #290 - altairibnlaahad (06/30/2014) [-]
ERROR: Missing value: (Cock)
#291 to #37 - thatmetalkid ONLINE (06/30/2014) [-]
In all honesty, how often do people 			****		 on the flights? I'm legitimately curious, passengers or crew
In all honesty, how often do people **** on the flights? I'm legitimately curious, passengers or crew
User avatar #293 to #291 - altairibnlaahad (06/30/2014) [-]
Probably more often than you think.
User avatar #300 to #293 - thatmetalkid ONLINE (06/30/2014) [-]
I think a lot of people are getting laid on flights then
User avatar #100 to #37 - ehzio (06/29/2014) [-]
I've been having back problems for 2 weeks now since I last deadlifted my max. It's not serious or anything but it just hurts and pinches from time to time. So should I apply some cream on my back or go see a chiropractor?
User avatar #139 to #100 - ieatpaste (06/30/2014) [-]
i dont understand maxing out is it just for pride? it seems like nothing but trouble
User avatar #141 to #139 - ehzio (06/30/2014) [-]
To increase what you have, you must go beyond what you already have
User avatar #142 to #141 - ieatpaste (06/30/2014) [-]
why dont you just do more reps of a weight you can handle?
User avatar #172 to #142 - ehzio (06/30/2014) [-]
well since the majority of times, the more reps you can handle is usually about 40-75% lower than your max rep or so I have heard.

Also it helps to know how much you are able to do in 1-3 reps and is usually important for power lifters
User avatar #164 to #100 - altairibnlaahad (06/30/2014) [-]
Work on your form and stretch a lot. Get heat and stem if it helps, if not, see a chiropractor.
User avatar #145 to #100 - bluerangermartin (06/30/2014) [-]
Correct your form and lift lighter. Chronic back pain is caused from persistent bad form, lifting heavy and your form breaking down so you can get big numbers is dumb and will **** with your future
User avatar #268 to #37 - shogoki (06/30/2014) [-]
What does Marcellus Wallace looks like?
User avatar #269 to #268 - altairibnlaahad (06/30/2014) [-]
He's black...
User avatar #272 to #269 - shogoki (06/30/2014) [-]
go on...
User avatar #278 to #272 - altairibnlaahad (06/30/2014) [-]
He's bald...
User avatar #281 to #278 - shogoki (06/30/2014) [-]
Does he looks like a bitch?
User avatar #283 to #281 - altairibnlaahad (06/30/2014) [-]
#286 to #283 - shogoki (06/30/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #74 to #37 - assdoreponyfucker (06/29/2014) [-]
do you **** the fa's inbetween every flight
User avatar #77 to #74 - altairibnlaahad (06/29/2014) [-]
Who doesn't?
User avatar #388 to #37 - bobibg (06/30/2014) [-]
Do they pay you enough?
User avatar #434 to #388 - altairibnlaahad (06/30/2014) [-]
They usually don't.

Regional airline First Officers can start as low as around $22,000. It's usually based on your experience/seniority with the company, the longer you are with that particular company, you will get payed a lot more.
User avatar #367 to #37 - gearshift (06/30/2014) [-]
Serious question, do pilots get checked if they've been drinking during, before or after flights?
User avatar #432 to #367 - altairibnlaahad (06/30/2014) [-]
You don't get "checked", but the FAA is very strict on the matter, legal limit's .04, and no drinking within 8 hours prior to flying, and if you're notionally intoxicated, you sure as hell won't be making it past anybody.
#219 to #37 - kamikazikraut (06/30/2014) [-]
Current ratings held, endorsements, currency, medical, last flown, hours flown in the past 90/180/360 days, last 8710, social security number, and pilot number.

FAA FREEZE **********

but seriously, ratings, endorsements, and type aircraft flown? CFI rotorwing, private fixed. Own a 1946 Luscombe 8e
User avatar #234 to #219 - altairibnlaahad (06/30/2014) [-]
I've also used a 737-800 trainer, but I don't know if that counts
User avatar #232 to #219 - altairibnlaahad (06/30/2014) [-]
Also I'm jelly of the Luscombe
#249 to #232 - kamikazikraut (06/30/2014) [-]
Sarge is a workhorse, but I love flying my dad's swift... N blocked out for obvious reasons.
User avatar #231 to #219 - altairibnlaahad (06/30/2014) [-]
Private/instrument, working on complex and finishing Commercial. I haven't officially started my ATP **** yet, but probably will soon. Flown C172R, S, RG, Pa-18, PA-44, and Beech Baron. I've taken flight controls of an R44 once, but I wasn't technically allowed to log that, so it doesn't count.
User avatar #240 to #231 - kamikazikraut (06/30/2014) [-]
Nice, I have 120, 140, 172 time. PA-28-140 (Cherokee), PA-28-161 (Warrior), T-35, Swift (180 and 210), H300, H300CBI, and B206 time.

The SFARS are a bitch and I HATE Robinson aircraft. They've killed so many people. Horrible design and that t bar is atrocious. I need 50hrs in order to instruct in them. I went to UND and all they teach in is 300's. Everywhere else wants that robinson time.. Average cost at $250/hr.... That's more money then I have now. I'm actually going to Florida tomorrow to get polished up, hopefully get my instrument, com single and com multi in a few weeks. I'm already fully qualified in helicopters and I have more fixed wing time than I have rotorwing time anyways. I'm just being charged for gas.
User avatar #253 to #240 - altairibnlaahad (06/30/2014) [-]
One of my professors, an ex 747-400 captain, absolutely despises the R22, he never shuts up about how they're death traps (even though we all agree). The R44 is better, and unfortunately they're all we have access to, not that I can afford them anyway.
User avatar #254 to #253 - kamikazikraut (06/30/2014) [-]
I think the H300 is far superior.. But... You can fit 3 R22s in the space of one H300 due to the semi-articulated rotor system. That and they're cheaper.. BUT the dumb asses made it so nearly all the time life components nearly run out at the same time.. So you can find R22/44's sitting around being sold just because they don't want to pay for the overhaul and the parts.
User avatar #321 to #37 - nightlynutria (06/30/2014) [-]
are you an airline pilot?
User avatar #431 to #321 - altairibnlaahad (06/30/2014) [-]
Not atm, still working on the necessary hours for that, but I have plenty of friends that are.
User avatar #40 to #37 - Conemen (06/29/2014) [-]
How difficult would you say it is?
I mean **** , if I was in control of a big ass hunk of flying metal, I don't think I would manage too well.
User avatar #43 to #40 - altairibnlaahad (06/29/2014) [-]
It's no harder than driving a car once you have the necessary hours, it just takes a bit more focus on average, more situational awareness.
User avatar #228 to #37 - hangingtree (06/30/2014) [-]
It's always weird seeing people outside of friendly.

Do pilots actually sleep?
How the **** do you not crash if that's true?
User avatar #233 to #228 - altairibnlaahad (06/30/2014) [-]
Yes, we sleep, but it's never enough. And it's not like falling asleep at the wheel, it's louder and takes more focus so it's harder to fall alseep.
User avatar #213 to #37 - bannon (06/30/2014) [-]
Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
User avatar #151 to #37 - darthlegolas (06/30/2014) [-]
what do they add to creme soda that makes it different than root beer? also is it creme or cream? to lazy for google
User avatar #166 to #151 - altairibnlaahad (06/30/2014) [-]
Damned if I know. Root Beer is better anyway.
User avatar #169 to #166 - darthlegolas (06/30/2014) [-]
true. root beer is best beer
User avatar #90 to #37 - pocketstooheavy (06/29/2014) [-]
"ask my anything".

Definitely not a pilot.
User avatar #168 to #90 - altairibnlaahad (06/30/2014) [-]
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep, give me a break man.
User avatar #173 to #168 - ehzio (06/30/2014) [-]
thank you Dr. Pilot
User avatar #191 to #168 - pocketstooheavy (06/30/2014) [-]
Totally wouldn't want you be on your plane
User avatar #127 to #37 - curveball (06/30/2014) [-]
How long did it take for you to become a pilot, and did you take private classes or learn in the Air Force?
User avatar #161 to #127 - altairibnlaahad (06/30/2014) [-]
Took me about 9 months to earn my PPL, which was rather quick. Got it through my University.
User avatar #220 to #161 - kamikazikraut (06/30/2014) [-]
UND, Embry Riddle, Parks, small school?
#443 to #37 - jakeattack (07/04/2014) [-]
How to I get a private pilot license with adhd and such:/
User avatar #444 to #443 - altairibnlaahad (07/05/2014) [-]
Talk to an FAA medical examiner.
User avatar #41 to #37 - crotchlesshotpants (06/29/2014) [-]
User avatar #42 to #41 - altairibnlaahad (06/29/2014) [-]
Still working on ATP.
User avatar #221 to #42 - kamikazikraut (06/30/2014) [-]
Good luck... 1500hrs woo! My connections in the local FSDO says they may be lowering the requirements... I'd take the written if I were you to be ready.
User avatar #297 to #221 - andiminius (06/30/2014) [-]
Only 1000 hours are required of graduates from a training program with an approved restricted ATP curriculum.
User avatar #303 to #297 - kamikazikraut (06/30/2014) [-]
Thank you for this tidbit of info!
User avatar #302 to #297 - kamikazikraut (06/30/2014) [-]
Huh.. I graduated from UND with a Commercial Aviation degree back in '11, but can't see them allowing this... They're money hungry bastards... You need to login to view this link
User avatar #409 to #37 - lotengo (06/30/2014) [-]
Whats the deal with airlinefood?
User avatar #435 to #409 - altairibnlaahad (06/30/2014) [-]
I know, it's terrible!
User avatar #46 to #37 - Silver Quantum ONLINE (06/29/2014) [-]
why do kids love the taste of cinnamon toast crunch?
User avatar #47 to #46 - altairibnlaahad (06/29/2014) [-]
Because you can eat it on an airplane?
User avatar #48 to #47 - Silver Quantum ONLINE (06/29/2014) [-]
If a cow laughed really hard, would milk come out her nose?
User avatar #50 to #48 - altairibnlaahad (06/29/2014) [-]
User avatar #51 to #50 - Silver Quantum ONLINE (06/29/2014) [-]
Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
User avatar #52 to #51 - altairibnlaahad (06/29/2014) [-]
Varies depending on the person.
User avatar #54 to #52 - Silver Quantum ONLINE (06/29/2014) [-]
What do sheep count when they can't get to sleep?
User avatar #55 to #54 - altairibnlaahad (06/29/2014) [-]
User avatar #56 to #55 - Silver Quantum ONLINE (06/29/2014) [-]
Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
User avatar #57 to #56 - altairibnlaahad (06/29/2014) [-]
User avatar #58 to #57 - Silver Quantum ONLINE (06/29/2014) [-]
If the Energizer Bunny attacks someone, is it charged with battery?
User avatar #60 to #58 - altairibnlaahad (06/29/2014) [-]
Assault with Battery.
User avatar #61 to #60 - Silver Quantum ONLINE (06/29/2014) [-]
Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower, when he doesn't usually wear any pants?
User avatar #62 to #61 - altairibnlaahad (06/29/2014) [-]
To dry himself off.
User avatar #63 to #62 - Silver Quantum ONLINE (06/29/2014) [-]
Why do grocery stores buy so many checkout line registers if they only keep 3 or 4 open?
User avatar #65 to #63 - altairibnlaahad (06/29/2014) [-]
Because that would be too logical.
User avatar #66 to #65 - Silver Quantum ONLINE (06/29/2014) [-]
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
User avatar #67 to #66 - altairibnlaahad (06/29/2014) [-]
User avatar #68 to #67 - Silver Quantum ONLINE (06/29/2014) [-]
If The Flintstones were B.C. and before America, why did they have Flintstones Thanksgiving and Flintstones Christmas?
User avatar #69 to #68 - altairibnlaahad (06/29/2014) [-]
Because the spirit of America has existed since the dawn of Man.
User avatar #296 to #63 - mrbuu (06/30/2014) [-]
i woulded at produce in a walmart. we get busy on sat-sunday and each of those days about 3 arn't open ata time with people at lunch and what not. and other days is 3-4 because we arn't busy,but around a holiday ever register is open 100% of the time even with lunch breaks. we want the most profit so getting people in and out will keep them buying say for that holiday. if only 10 or so where open most people would go somewhere else.
#24 - phudgepacker (06/29/2014) [-]
Planes are a pretty cool guy. Eh defies gravity and doesnt afraid of anything
#9 - zhitman (06/29/2014) [-]
Sounds like ********
User avatar #64 to #9 - thisisbait (06/29/2014) [-]
I can guarantee the water ones are 100% true, i got to do summer work cleaning them for Southwest at O'Hare, nasty ******* water tanks...
#114 to #64 - anon (06/30/2014) [-]
is it true that should never drink the water unless the plane comes from a bottle?
#115 to #114 - thisisbait (06/30/2014) [-]
Bottled planes are much cleaner and safer to consume than the planes provided by the airline.
User avatar #116 to #64 - thisisbait (06/30/2014) [-]
There isnt like, the nasty green goo theyre talking about, but like hard-water buildup and this chalky stuff that comes off the sides is everywhere. Many of them also had dead bugs inside.
#387 to #64 - anon (06/30/2014) [-]
So basically they do get cleaned?
User avatar #426 to #387 - thisisbait (06/30/2014) [-]
I was one of 3 people doing it, and only southwest was getting theirs cleaned.

And even then, i doubt they had been cleaned in a long ass time.
#325 to #64 - wagastragas (06/30/2014) [-]
he was saying they never get clean up at all toguht so still a bit exagerated
User avatar #183 to #9 - buddhadom (06/30/2014) [-]
Actually most of these are true.

Source? My dad was watching through the whole process of me reading this and he could assure most of these. He's an experienced pilot. Not the ones about the flight assistants or the ones about the water but technical **** is legit. Example: Pilots can land a plane on whatever airport to evacuate a passenger making a scene and get him arrested. Another one: The ashtrays can be found both in the inside and the outside of the restrooms. If the inside ones ever malfunction, you can replace them with the outside one. But if the outside ones are broken, you aren't allowed to fly the plane because if the inner one was ever to malfunction, there would be no way of recomposing it.

Most of it is legit. Though drinks are always free, no need to tip a FA. You're paying for a full flight experience. Drinks are implied.
User avatar #371 to #183 - Mitro (06/30/2014) [-]
You sound like ******** too.
User avatar #35 to #9 - falconet (06/29/2014) [-]
at least 60-70% is
#91 - mrswagly ONLINE (06/29/2014) [-]
Well, I would think each flight would be carrying organs, there's like like 200 people up there. If there isn't any, then the cyborg invasion has already begun.
Well, I would think each flight would be carrying organs, there's like like 200 people up there. If there isn't any, then the cyborg invasion has already begun.
#137 to #91 - gongthehawkeye (06/30/2014) [-]
I, for one, welcome our new cyborg overlords.
I, for one, welcome our new cyborg overlords.
User avatar #329 to #137 - flambenobunaga (06/30/2014) [-]
#147 to #137 - afireinsidebrad (06/30/2014) [-]
**** yeah cyborgs, and **** yeah MGR:R!
User avatar #112 to #14 - thebaseballexpert (06/30/2014) [-]
his families experience directly in the industry isn't enough citation for you? he was a bagger/filler, sister was an FA, and father was a pilot. what more qualifications do you want?
User avatar #204 to #112 - flemsdfer (06/30/2014) [-]
It's not enough citation. For all you know his father builds carnival rides at the fair, his sister works at a deli, and he's going to college to be a history teacher.

You couldn't prove if he was being honest about any of this or not. Only speculation.
#402 to #204 - junknstuff (06/30/2014) [-]
You really think someone would do that? just go on the internet and tell lies?

(don't have the image saved)
#399 to #204 - anon (06/30/2014) [-]
You really think someone would do that, just go on the internet and tell lies?
#159 to #112 - anon (06/30/2014) [-]
What this guy said!
User avatar #389 to #159 - radiserne (06/30/2014) [-]
#79 - isitinyet (06/29/2014) [-]
Thank God you posted this on the internet, where things like sources and reasonable credibility are unnecessary
#179 - swisscheezit ONLINE (06/30/2014) [-]
>Coming home from Mexico last week
>Seven straight days of high-quality beaner food taking its toll
>In-flight, head to lavatory
>Sitting on ******* ********
>Ash tray in front of me
>Remember reading about how airlines keep them around
>Curious as to how many people are actually smoking in here
>Open it up cuz I'm a weird ****
>Expecting a **** ton of ash
>Look inside
>No ash
>Just a piece of folded-up paper
>Pull out paper
>Unfold it
>It's porn
>I kept it.
#263 to #179 - dorfdorfdorf ONLINE (06/30/2014) [-]
what was it porn of, dammit
what was it porn of, dammit
User avatar #436 to #263 - swisscheezit ONLINE (06/30/2014) [-]
Porn. It was a picture of an 8/10 with white yoga pants pulled tight against her crotch so you could see her unholy hole.
#437 to #436 - dorfdorfdorf ONLINE (06/30/2014) [-]
There, now, was that so hard?
#111 - thebaseballexpert (06/30/2014) [-]
So your telling me I SHOULD drink the plane water?
#6 - anon (06/29/2014) [-]
So they only clean the headphones
User avatar #287 - pokimone (06/30/2014) [-]
Guys, guys, don't forget not to drink the water, I'm not sure this comp told you not to.
#326 - chocolatewhite (06/30/2014) [-]
this guys whole family is in the air industry
#98 - thebuttocksbrigade (06/29/2014) [-]
It's not landing, I
It's crashing
...with style
User avatar #108 - kamikazikraut (06/29/2014) [-]
Pilot here. Father flew for the airlines and mom was a flight attendant.

Most of these are very true.

I can't attest to the first one, but my dad would often visit with the passengers (before 911) during his break. The FAA requires that pilots get 8hrs sleep per 24hr day. Granted most airlines make that difficult .

Tip the flight attendants. They are often referred to as "sky bunnies." Usually at the end of the night, the flight crew decides who is sleeping with who that night. So you may get lucky with more than just a tip or catching something .

The oxygen masks are for hypoxia, and event where the brain is starved of oxygen. This is due to rapid decompression at altitude. Think of putting a plastic bag over your head and sucking the air out. A sense of euphoria and carelessness will follow. Your fingernails will also often turn blue. Shortly after you will go unconscious and possibly die due to asphyxiation.

TSA stands for "thousands standing around." They're a joke, mainly they're there to give the impression of a false security. They steal more items than anything else.

On windy days, pilots will land faster and harder. The wind is always changing. Say a landing speed is 70mph, but the stall speed is 55mph. If you have winds blowing from 10-25mph gusting, it is possible to stall the airplane. To make up for this, a landing speed of 85mph is used, resulting in a harder and longer landing.

Ever seen the movie Airplane? There's truth behind the varying meals.

Everything on an airplane is dirty in order to cut costs from cleaning.

Hard case everything you check.

Don'tt be that douche to has to snap chat on takeoff. The interference from the signals does mess with our intercoms. Takeoff and landing is a crucial time for pilots. Sending and receiving clearances can be tough. ATC doesnt like repeating when there are dozens of airplanes flying around their airspace.
User avatar #212 to #108 - asongulol (06/30/2014) [-]
but your mother was a flight attendant. was she a sky bunny?
User avatar #217 to #212 - kamikazikraut (06/30/2014) [-]
I've been told she was pretty damn hot for her time...
#235 to #108 - anon (06/30/2014) [-]
TSA here, Go **** yourself. Next time your faggot buddies want to cut our passenger line and skip to the front of the que ill tell them to go **** themselves
#244 to #235 - kamikazikraut (06/30/2014) [-]
Log on and say it like a man and MAYBE I'll earn some respect for you.

Last time I went through security one of you took a little kids baseball bat St. Louis TSA, Cardinals baseball , the one's that are not even a foot long, and he was fully dressed in nothing but baseball gear. The **** brah.
#241 to #235 - anon (06/30/2014) [-]
It's better if you actually do tell them to go 			****		 themselves, hopefully you'll get fired in the process.
It's better if you actually do tell them to go **** themselves, hopefully you'll get fired in the process.
User avatar #237 to #108 - garymotherfingoak (06/30/2014) [-]
I was going to call you out on ************ us and condoning this National Enquirer-esque "article", But I thought about each thing a little more, and almost all of them seem pretty plausible, and your story on flying sounds convincing enough. still bugs me how these supposed facts make it sound like you can get AIDS and die from the common cold from being exposed to an American Airlines logo for 30 or more seconds.
User avatar #242 to #237 - kamikazikraut (06/30/2014) [-]
It's a little hyped up, not going to lie. A lot of these airplanes are constantly flying though. So think about someones butt sitting in seat for at least 8hrs a day, every day and it gets vacuumed less than the average house.
User avatar #243 to #242 - garymotherfingoak (06/30/2014) [-]
I suppose, but you can't escape filth.
#247 to #243 - kamikazikraut (06/30/2014) [-]
Nope, you can't.
Nope, you can't.
User avatar #285 to #108 - usamajime (06/30/2014) [-]
I'm going to a family reunion in a month and it will be my first time flying. Any advice for dealing with stealing, checking bags, or sanitation? Or really any advice would help.
User avatar #298 to #285 - kamikazikraut (06/30/2014) [-]
TSA locks on your bags if you check any bags. Be ready when you get to the x-rays to have your shoes off, belt/jewelry removed, and any laptops/ipads out of your bags. Pretty much any metallic object that might set the scanners off. Hand sanitizer is always helpful. If you plan on sleeping, just bring a hoodie with you. You can always roll it up for a pillow, or drape it over yourself like a blanket.
User avatar #301 to #298 - usamajime (06/30/2014) [-]
Are the locks expensive?
or would it be easier to not check anything valuable?
User avatar #304 to #301 - kamikazikraut (06/30/2014) [-]
They're not even $10 at wally world. The second option works too.
User avatar #306 to #304 - usamajime (06/30/2014) [-]
Thanks, much appreciated. ^_^
User avatar #307 to #108 - hydraetis (06/30/2014) [-]
For the first one, I remember hearing (I think on the news) that pilots are typically only allowed 30 minutes nap time tops during flights if they're fatigued. Having both pilots asleep at the same time does not sound like something that would be permitted.
User avatar #310 to #307 - kamikazikraut (06/30/2014) [-]
It depends on the flight. Having the pilots asleep at the same time is definitely NOT allowed.
User avatar #319 to #108 - irevolutions (06/30/2014) [-]
Did you have to pass an alternative color blindness test to in order for the FAA medical examiner to pass you? Also, how do you like it. I plan on becoming a pilot once I graduate high school, which is next year. Did you get a degree before getting you licenses/ratings or vice versa?
User avatar #385 to #319 - kamikazikraut (06/30/2014) [-]
I do know you have to pass a color blindness test. I love flying. It's a drug to me. I will literally get depressed if I don't fly for awhile. I went to college for aviation but its very expensive. If you want to fly for a living, prepare to be in debt for awhile....
User avatar #391 to #385 - irevolutions (06/30/2014) [-]
I don't mind the debt, or pay as long as I get to fly. I totally understand where you are coming from when you say it is like a drug. I have only flown once before, and it was pretty cool. I know a lot about planes and stuff and as I have already said, would like to fly for an airline one day. Heil Hitler
User avatar #396 to #391 - kamikazikraut (06/30/2014) [-]
Seen Kyle!
User avatar #386 to #319 - kamikazikraut (06/30/2014) [-]
Scroll down and look at the video I posted for another FJer.
#362 to #108 - spetsnazvymple (06/30/2014) [-]
have you ever flown over pearl harbor?
User avatar #384 to #362 - kamikazikraut (06/30/2014) [-]
They're on to me
#408 to #108 - frenulum (06/30/2014) [-]
**frenulum rolled image** >pilot
>name is Kamikazi.
User avatar #425 to #408 - kamikazikraut (06/30/2014) [-]
Do what the robot says.
User avatar #427 to #425 - frenulum (06/30/2014) [-]
ok master
User avatar #149 to #108 - kwanzalord (06/30/2014) [-]
Pilot also here, who do you fly for?

As for the who's sleeping with who, that's changed over the years.
It used to be a sex/drug fiasco on layovers.
I think things have calmed down considerably.

Due to no age restriction for most US carriers, most flight attendants are old as sin.
#155 to #149 - kamikazikraut (06/30/2014) [-]
I'm ex military. I have my CFI in rotorwing but I only have time in the H300 and B206/Kiowa. Unfortunately due to the SFARS, I require 50hrs to teach in the R-22/44. That's $12.5k I don't have... Everyone uses those death traps, and those who do use the H300, want their pilots to also be rating in the Robinsons.    
I actually have more time in fixed wing but I'm only a private pilot. I own and fly a 1946 Luscombe, while I occasionally fly my dads 1946 Temco Swift (he has a beast of a 210 in there vs the standard 125). So in the mean time, I'm building up to my 1500hrs in those airplanes while taking some more training down in Flordia. I basically have all the requirements met, just polishing up and take the tests. In two weeks he wants me to have my instrument, commercial, and commercial multi. Then if I'm lucky, take the CFI.   
And I will agree most are old as sin, but the ones who are young are pretty skanky. At least all the one's I've met.
I'm ex military. I have my CFI in rotorwing but I only have time in the H300 and B206/Kiowa. Unfortunately due to the SFARS, I require 50hrs to teach in the R-22/44. That's $12.5k I don't have... Everyone uses those death traps, and those who do use the H300, want their pilots to also be rating in the Robinsons.

I actually have more time in fixed wing but I'm only a private pilot. I own and fly a 1946 Luscombe, while I occasionally fly my dads 1946 Temco Swift (he has a beast of a 210 in there vs the standard 125). So in the mean time, I'm building up to my 1500hrs in those airplanes while taking some more training down in Flordia. I basically have all the requirements met, just polishing up and take the tests. In two weeks he wants me to have my instrument, commercial, and commercial multi. Then if I'm lucky, take the CFI.

And I will agree most are old as sin, but the ones who are young are pretty skanky. At least all the one's I've met.
User avatar #167 to #155 - kwanzalord (06/30/2014) [-]
I didn't take the military route, that's why I have so much debt.
People don't realize how expensive it is and how "not lucrative" it is.
Starting was hard...working at Express we were paid just about the same as the flight attends.

I'm currently, a fo on the 787 over at United.

I hope I make it to cargo....
User avatar #177 to #167 - kamikazikraut (06/30/2014) [-]
The Army is trying to get $136k out of me for all my college and flight training.. I'm still fighting them.. To eliminate the debt and get back in.

I've been flying since I could walk. My dad has me clocked at a minimum of 1800hrs with him before my student pilot. We'd fly to Oshkosh every year.

Deregulation really ****** over everyone. Also the airlines take advantage of pilots. Using the fact that pilots love to fly against them. It's a sad truth. I don't care where I end up or what I'm paid, as long as I'm flying. Most of my friends who went civilian only got paid $17-25k a year as an fo for places like American Eagle and such. Most of those guys are on tax stamps...

I love taking my friends up who say, "Pilot's don't need to make that much money! the airplane flys all by itself!" I trim the Luscombe out and have them try and do normal procedures like turns around a point, climbing and descending turns, maintaining a constant bank angle and altitude... Then show them the FAR's, checklists, flashcards, my CFI book I made close to 100 pages front and back , and my aviation library. I usually explain pilots as needing the knowledge of a lawyer, the precision of a surgeon, and paying the price of schooling for nearly both to be paid barely enough to get by.

Michael Moore's 'Capitalism: A Love Story' - Pilots on Food Stamps Not I strongly dislike Moore, but he makes some very valid points... Minus the whole capitalism thing.
User avatar #184 to #177 - kwanzalord (06/30/2014) [-]
that hits hard...
I also dislike Moore, but that video clip is too true.

Everyone thinks I have plenty of money as a pilot and are always thinking that I'm rich.
I make do every month, pay check to pay check...

I'm actually considering switching to a different profession...if I don't make it to cargo.
User avatar #194 to #184 - kamikazikraut (06/30/2014) [-]
My friends are the same way... Hell, my car ('06 Outback) cost more than the Luscombe.. Only way we can afford them is to do our own maintenance on them. My dad also worked at Reno for awhile, so he built up a collection of parts back in the 60s-70s..

It's messed up... The idea of pilotless aircraft horrifies me. . They'll do anything to save money though...

The first day of ground school, my teacher looked at us and said, "If you're in this for the money, the door is right there. Save yourself and me the time and money and leave. If you're here because you love to fly, welcome." I've had many people try and convince me to change professions. Become a lawyer or something and make good money and fly as a hobby. Personally, I can't. It's in my blood.. My dad had me put my hands on the controls as soon as I could walk.

Word has it from the local FSDO (St. Louis) that the FAA is thinking of lowering the 1500hr ATP requirement... Idk for sure.. but it's just a mess out there..

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it's where your heart is. If you love flying, keep with it. It still gets better once you're out of regionals.
User avatar #197 to #194 - kwanzalord (06/30/2014) [-]
woah, those drone horror quotes.

The FAA really ought to change that requirement. It is LITERALLY impossible to fly that amount. You will either keel over from debt or you're just going to have to get a full time job elsewhere for years upon years. At that point, better to stay at that job than to switch over to the bottom of seniority at a carrier with low pay.
User avatar #199 to #197 - kamikazikraut (06/30/2014) [-]
Exactly... I also believe that the majority of the CFI/CFII should consist of pilots who have real world experience... Not just pilots trying to build time.. It also increases the students debt because I've seen CFI's take advantage of students in order to try and get more time. It's sick.. but then those same students do the same as CFI's to make up for it... It's a vicious cycle.
User avatar #201 to #199 - kwanzalord (06/30/2014) [-]
it never ends.
well, good talking
#109 to #108 - kamikazikraut (06/29/2014) [-]
Also, the small airlines where you usually have to duck your head while walking through the cabin. They require a special license called an ATP, or airline transport pilot rating. This requires the pilots to have 1500hrs. Most of these pilots just got done flying sight seeing or instructing student pilots. Why is this an issue? Well.. You have people who were just students becoming teachers with no real world experience. Also, you have someone who has done nothing but fly the same route for several years and who hasn't done an instrument approach in some years, now being put in the right seat flying a MD-80 after just hoping out of a 172.

Back years ago, an ATP only took 250hrs, but this was after students just finished training where everything was fresh in their minds. Then the airlines hired them and taught them to fly the way the airlines wanted them to fly.

tl;dr Pilots, **** yeah!
#318 - bazda (06/30/2014) [-]
So because a flight attendant has never seen the trays get cleaned, that must mean nobody ever does it, right? I've never ONCE seen the bathrooms at my school get cleaned; doesn't mean it's not getting done every night.
#406 - lotengo (06/30/2014) [-]
After all these years. Thanks to this post, i finally have a mild unsderstanding of whats the deal with airlinefood
#38 - anon (06/29/2014) [-]
Having a basic understanding of thermodynamics, jet engines, and the world, I can tell you that 20% of these are ******** .
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#335 - arthurmitchell (06/30/2014) [-]
You know why they put oxygen masks on planes? Oxygen gets you high. In a catastrophic emergency, you're taking giant panicked breaths. Suddenly you become euphoric, docile. You accept your fate. It's all right here. Emergency water landing - 600 miles an hour. Blank faces, calm as Hindu cows.
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