Truth about flying. Ladies, I would never laugh at your vibrator. I will, however, imagine you using it on yourself... Thanks heavens, now I can make sure to hijack a plane without suspicion.
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Truth about flying

Ladies, I would never laugh at your vibrator.

I will, however, imagine you using it on yourself.

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Views: 59902
Favorited: 487
Submitted: 06/29/2014
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Comments(445):

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#3 - sinery (06/29/2014) [+] (7 replies)
Thanks heavens, now I can make sure to hijack a plane without suspicion.
#11 - anonymous (06/29/2014) [+] (1 reply)
your sister is a cunt
#9 - zhitman (06/29/2014) [+] (10 replies)
Sounds like ********
#1 - bestfoxgirl (06/29/2014) [+] (12 replies)
Put yours on first, then do your kids.

OP, what the **** ?
User avatar #4 to #1 - LazierThanThou (06/29/2014) [-]
Safety first, man. Wouldn't want to spread any diseases, would you?
#14 - Funnyfagget (06/29/2014) [+] (6 replies)
#20 - skatin (06/29/2014) [+] (18 replies)
Wow, the majority of these are absolutely false. I work in military aviation and we deal with commercial liners nearly as often as our own grey tails.

First, flying dogs is safe with the correct company. Dogs do NOT sit on the ramp for extended periods of time. They are expedited into the climate controlled cargo bay and the door is sealed as soon as possible.

Potable water tanks. These tanks are sanitized with a mixture of white vinegar and bleach. They are cleaned, depending on the governing agency, weekly or monthly. Not only that, the trucks that transport potable water are sanitized weekly as well as monthly water tests from the FDA.

There's others, but those are the two I'd like to smash for now.
#24 - phudgepacker (06/29/2014) [-]
Planes are a pretty cool guy. Eh defies gravity and doesnt afraid of anything
User avatar #37 - altairibnlaahad ONLINE (06/29/2014) [+] (125 replies)
Pilot here, ask my anything.
User avatar #62 to #61 - altairibnlaahad ONLINE (06/29/2014) [-]
To dry himself off.
#91 - mrswagly ONLINE (06/29/2014) [+] (3 replies)
Well, I would think each flight would be carrying organs, there's like like 200 people up there. If there isn't any, then the cyborg invasion has already begun.
Well, I would think each flight would be carrying organs, there's like like 200 people up there. If there isn't any, then the cyborg invasion has already begun.
#79 - isitinyet (06/29/2014) [-]
Thank God you posted this on the internet, where things like sources and reasonable credibility are unnecessary
User avatar #108 - kamikazikraut (06/29/2014) [+] (37 replies)
Pilot here. Father flew for the airlines and mom was a flight attendant.

Most of these are very true.

I can't attest to the first one, but my dad would often visit with the passengers (before 911) during his break. The FAA requires that pilots get 8hrs sleep per 24hr day. Granted most airlines make that difficult .

Tip the flight attendants. They are often referred to as "sky bunnies." Usually at the end of the night, the flight crew decides who is sleeping with who that night. So you may get lucky with more than just a tip or catching something .

The oxygen masks are for hypoxia, and event where the brain is starved of oxygen. This is due to rapid decompression at altitude. Think of putting a plastic bag over your head and sucking the air out. A sense of euphoria and carelessness will follow. Your fingernails will also often turn blue. Shortly after you will go unconscious and possibly die due to asphyxiation.

TSA stands for "thousands standing around." They're a joke, mainly they're there to give the impression of a false security. They steal more items than anything else.

On windy days, pilots will land faster and harder. The wind is always changing. Say a landing speed is 70mph, but the stall speed is 55mph. If you have winds blowing from 10-25mph gusting, it is possible to stall the airplane. To make up for this, a landing speed of 85mph is used, resulting in a harder and longer landing.

Ever seen the movie Airplane? There's truth behind the varying meals.

Everything on an airplane is dirty in order to cut costs from cleaning.

Hard case everything you check.

Don'tt be that douche to has to snap chat on takeoff. The interference from the signals does mess with our intercoms. Takeoff and landing is a crucial time for pilots. Sending and receiving clearances can be tough. ATC doesnt like repeating when there are dozens of airplanes flying around their airspace.
#179 - swisscheezit (06/30/2014) [+] (3 replies)
>Coming home from Mexico last week
>Seven straight days of high-quality beaner food taking its toll
>In-flight, head to lavatory
>Sitting on ******* ********
>Ash tray in front of me
>Remember reading about how airlines keep them around
>Curious as to how many people are actually smoking in here
>Open it up cuz I'm a weird ****
>Expecting a **** ton of ash
>Look inside
>No ash
>Just a piece of folded-up paper
>Pull out paper
>Unfold it
>It's porn
>I kept it.
#111 - thebaseballexpert (06/30/2014) [-]
So your telling me I SHOULD drink the plane water?
#6 - anonymous (06/29/2014) [-]
So they only clean the headphones
User avatar #287 - pokimone (06/30/2014) [-]
Guys, guys, don't forget not to drink the water, I'm not sure this comp told you not to.
#326 - chocolatewhite (06/30/2014) [-]
this guys whole family is in the air industry
#13 - hasinvadedyou (06/29/2014) [-]
Is that meal spaghetti o's with feta sprinkles? i also didnt understand do they mean they handle the i <3 baggage handlers with special care or "special **** yo **** " care? because i would go with the latter it just seems dickish.
#98 - thebuttocksbrigade (06/29/2014) [-]
It's not landing, I
It's crashing
...with style
#318 - bazda (06/30/2014) [-]
So because a flight attendant has never seen the trays get cleaned, that must mean nobody ever does it, right? I've never ONCE seen the bathrooms at my school get cleaned; doesn't mean it's not getting done every night.
#38 - anonymous (06/29/2014) [+] (3 replies)
Having a basic understanding of thermodynamics, jet engines, and the world, I can tell you that 20% of these are ******** .
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