Troll son. . THE PROBLEM ABOUT BEING A PROGRAMMER My mom said: Haney. please my ter the market and buy 1 battle trf milk. if they have eggs. bring ti" I came ba troll smartass
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Troll son

THE PROBLEM ABOUT
BEING A PROGRAMMER
My mom said:
Haney. please my ter the market and buy 1 battle trf
milk. if they have eggs. bring ti"
I came back with 5 bottles of milk.
She daid:" Whar the hell did you buy 5 bottles of
milk?"
I said: "BECAUSE THEY HAD EGGS!!!!"
...
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Views: 34966
Favorited: 33
Submitted: 06/09/2014
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Comments(129):

[ 129 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#72 - twotwelve (06/10/2014) [-]
MFW programmers on here too smart and programmy to enjoy the joke.
User avatar #5 - patwed (06/09/2014) [-]
thats not a programmers problem, thats an autistic douche who has no concept of languages problem
User avatar #54 to #5 - lilhanna (06/10/2014) [-]
the joke is the programmer been working for so long it change their understanding of the word if. They understand their problem at the end when they come home.
#74 to #5 - anon (06/10/2014) [-]
No consept!? You have no consept!
#115 to #5 - anon (06/10/2014) [-]
It also helps that he would have had to bring 6...not 6 bottles of milk, just 6.
User avatar #124 to #5 - dunkleosteus (06/10/2014) [-]
that's half the joke. The syntax / grammar of a lot of computer languages are phrased the way he's interpreted the sentence. It's saying that after working like that for so long, he got confused in real life. It can happen.

Calm down.
User avatar #57 to #5 - vissova (06/10/2014) [-]
Woah there, no need to turn a joke into an insult.
User avatar #118 to #5 - darkjacky (06/10/2014) [-]
So... a computer is "an autistic douche who has no concept of languages"

I see... that explains a lot.
#73 to #5 - anon (06/10/2014) [-]
I see FJ is still not out of the "you have autism" phase.
User avatar #49 to #5 - YllekNayr (06/10/2014) [-]
It's a joke, not a dick.
#53 to #49 - anon (06/10/2014) [-]
Just like your penis.
User avatar #55 to #53 - homm (06/10/2014) [-]
brilliant
#117 to #53 - anon (06/10/2014) [-]
YllekNayr's face after that comment
YllekNayr's face after that comment
#112 to #49 - daragon (06/10/2014) [-]
Grab this.
#60 to #49 - thatonecommunist ONLINE (06/10/2014) [-]
Too late, he's already choking on it.
User avatar #75 - deathleprechaun (06/10/2014) [-]
I'm not sure I get it. Is the problem that programmers have minimal understanding of basic ******* English?
User avatar #113 to #75 - RiflemanFunny ONLINE (06/10/2014) [-]
Not really. Just the words if, else, break, do, and import.
#43 - awesomeruben (06/10/2014) [-]
Here in Murica
#110 - anon (06/10/2014) [-]
Meh, this joke doesn't really work:

goToStore();
buy1BottleOfMilk();
if (theyHaveEggs) bring6();

A better joke would be:
"Honey, can you go an buy some milk? Oh, and while you're out, buy some eggs too."
The husband is still out buying eggs to this day.
User avatar #38 - nywrestler (06/10/2014) [-]
inb4 actual programmers say that this is wrong.
User avatar #76 to #38 - ohhh (06/10/2014) [-]
Well, i'm a bit rusty, but lets see if i can still do it.

var egg = 1;
if (egg = 1)
console.log("6 gallons of milk")
else ()
prompt.("1 gallon of milk")

And that's about all i can remember.
#85 to #76 - themoderguy (06/10/2014) [-]
>using semi-colon on variable declaration but not on console.log or prompt.* functions
>using braces for the conditional but did not use curly brackets for the executed code in the if statement
>no tab formatting
>the if statement conditional is setting egg to 1 instead of comparing egg to 1 with ==
>random else with conditional bracing
>no end
>using console.log but then using bogus prompt.* function

0/10 would not compile
#94 to #85 - iidonteven (06/10/2014) [-]
Can you write a correct version please?
I'm curious
User avatar #100 to #94 - themoderguy (06/10/2014) [-]
#include <stdio.h>

void main()
{
if (human.in.eyes.normalize("eggs"))
{
human.do.buy("milk", 6);
}else{
human.do.buy("milk", 1);
}
}
User avatar #95 to #94 - iassume (06/10/2014) [-]
public class buy {
int egg = 1;

public static void main(String[] args) {
if (egg == 1) System.out.println("6 gallons of milk");
else System.out.println("1 gallon of milk");
}
}
User avatar #122 to #95 - steppenwolfvg (06/10/2014) [-]
I think it should return rather than print.
User avatar #123 to #122 - iassume (06/10/2014) [-]
Someone mentioned making it with Sysout so I did it like this, sure it makes more sense with return
#86 to #85 - ohhh (06/10/2014) [-]
I knew i shoulda read up on my java.
I knew i shoulda read up on my java.
User avatar #88 to #86 - themoderguy (06/10/2014) [-]
its c not java
User avatar #89 to #88 - ohhh (06/10/2014) [-]
But this was the first thing i learned when learning java. Or are java and c allot alike.
User avatar #92 to #89 - themoderguy (06/10/2014) [-]
i assumed it was c because to log something into the console in java you use system.out.print not console.log
User avatar #93 to #92 - ohhh (06/10/2014) [-]
Oh, thanks man.
#91 to #89 - misteraaron (06/10/2014) [-]
They are. C is pretty much the predecessor of all programing languages. Java is based heavily off C.
#116 to #76 - anon (06/10/2014) [-]
He said 6 not 6 gallons of milk. So you would just put 6, not 6 gallons of milk.
#52 to #38 - anon (06/10/2014) [-]
It's wrong.

It's actually not.
User avatar #64 to #52 - caerulea (06/10/2014) [-]
Depends. From my experience, he should bring the number six itself, plus the original order of milk.
User avatar #77 to #64 - trollchildxy (06/10/2014) [-]
It also depends on the programming language, how it's delimited and punctuated.
#68 to #38 - anon (06/10/2014) [-]
it's nott
#111 - biomedic (06/10/2014) [-]
This is the last time I send you to the shops son. You disappoint me.
#63 - anon (06/10/2014) [-]
******** . He should have come back with seven.
#82 to #63 - scorze (06/10/2014) [-]
yup
#87 to #82 - anon (06/10/2014) [-]
**anonymous rolled image** lies, the comment states "bring 6" therefore even if you add 6 to the 1 you bought it would be 7 and you would do the command wrongly.
#44 - anon (06/10/2014) [-]
inb4 intro to c "programmers" try to ruin this decent (but frequently reposted) joke
#56 to #44 - yourmomsintern (06/10/2014) [-]
K&R <3
User avatar #6 - enemyoftrn (06/09/2014) [-]
One question for Euro-FJunkers and American Junkers, does milk in your countries come in glass bottles like the picture? And do they get delivered to your doorstep every dawn, like in Tom and Jerry cartoon?
~A curious 3rdWorld Funker.
User avatar #98 to #6 - thefunnyside (06/10/2014) [-]
Nope, you go to the store and get it. Sometimes it's in plastic, sometimes in a paper milk carton, but never in a bottle
#114 to #6 - anon (06/10/2014) [-]
No. Milk men only existed when we did not have the technology for refridgerators. they delivered the milk cold so it would not spoil, we just buy it out of a gallon container at the store now.
#42 to #6 - andrewiscoolyo (06/10/2014) [-]
Personally in my household, in America ,we drink plenty of milk. so I buy milk by the gallon, which comes in these large clear plastic casings. There are also, smaller ones of the same type of packaging. There is also regular cartons, but those usually come in smaller varieties. I dont think i've ever seen milk in a glass bottle being sold in a store.
User avatar #8 to #6 - stonetomcat (06/09/2014) [-]
'Murican here
No and no.
User avatar #9 to #8 - enemyoftrn (06/09/2014) [-]
Hmm, how about Jersey Milk? According to that Yatsubo(4chan mascot) its quite tasty.
User avatar #10 to #9 - stonetomcat (06/09/2014) [-]
I have no idea.
I'll try it some time.
User avatar #11 to #10 - enemyoftrn (06/09/2014) [-]
Thanks for the info though. Let's see if my local store have them Jersey Milk.
User avatar #13 to #11 - stonetomcat (06/09/2014) [-]
No problem.
#14 to #6 - rishworth (06/09/2014) [-]
I'm from England and yes I have my milk delivered by a milkman in glass bottles. But I do that because I live in the countryside and it's a nuisance to go and get it myself. As I understand it, most English people just buy there's from a shop.
User avatar #15 to #14 - enemyoftrn (06/09/2014) [-]
Is it before dawn? Or after dawn?
Thanks for the info.
#16 to #15 - rishworth (06/09/2014) [-]
Usually around 5am
User avatar #17 to #16 - enemyoftrn (06/09/2014) [-]
Cool, thanks.
#22 to #6 - anon (06/09/2014) [-]
Norway has some sort of... eh... picture. Its cardboard I believe the word is?
User avatar #36 to #22 - stupro (06/10/2014) [-]
It's Tetrabrick. Or Tetrapa(c)k. We call it tetrapak.

Anyway, it's patented and patenter's widow is one of the riches women in the Europe.
User avatar #24 to #22 - stonetomcat (06/09/2014) [-]
Yeah, the carton's made of cardboard.
#61 to #6 - anon (06/10/2014) [-]
Not in Murica, usually its in plastic containers and occasionally glass, but I haven't ever had (Or seen anyone who has) milk delivered to their house
#32 to #6 - anon (06/10/2014) [-]
France here : no but in countryside, some of them use it (mostly in montains). And for the second, no, even though you might find it for deliveries in islands.

Take some french bottles.
User avatar #34 to #6 - demigodofmadness (06/10/2014) [-]
No, they used to. We buy them in plastic gallons/quarts.
User avatar #7 to #6 - dissectedtesticle (06/09/2014) [-]
italy here: it's milk packs or plastic bottles and no, no deliveries.
User avatar #19 to #7 - dyevki (06/09/2014) [-]
Ireland its plastic containers or small cardboard containers
Delivery available some places
User avatar #12 to #7 - enemyoftrn (06/09/2014) [-]
Thanks for the info. The glass bottle seems nostalgic isn't it?
#21 to #6 - anon (06/09/2014) [-]
Sweden here, no deliveries.
#23 to #6 - teocherries (06/09/2014) [-]
In England they come in transparent, cleaning substance-esque cartons.
User avatar #18 to #6 - weepingpancakes (06/09/2014) [-]
Milk in bags master race.
User avatar #20 to #18 - enemyoftrn (06/09/2014) [-]
As in Plastic Bag?
User avatar #25 to #20 - Mecryte (06/09/2014) [-]
Yes, is this a problem?
#27 to #25 - anon (06/09/2014) [-]
Yes
User avatar #26 to #25 - enemyoftrn (06/09/2014) [-]
I can't picture it.
User avatar #33 to #29 - landartheconqueror (06/10/2014) [-]
that **** brings me back to my childhood. i wonder why grocery stores stopped marketing these
#37 to #33 - anon (06/10/2014) [-]
wait wait wait, another question, are there ice cream trucks or it's just something from the 60´s?
User avatar #40 to #37 - landartheconqueror (06/10/2014) [-]
ice cream trucks still exist during summer time, when elementary and highschool kids are out of school. they drive around neighborhoods, selling awesome but over priced ice cream.
User avatar #39 to #37 - stonetomcat (06/10/2014) [-]
Here in America they exist.
They speed by a lot.
#90 to #6 - anon (06/10/2014) [-]
In Norway it comes in cartons at either 1 or 1.5 litres. And no milkman, we buy it in a shop like our groceries.
User avatar #66 to #6 - enemyoftrn (06/10/2014) [-]
You guys, fellow F-Junkers, are quite interesting. Everyone is willing to answer a question about milk, yet we are divided on some issues.
I salute you guys.
User avatar #30 to #6 - haker (06/10/2014) [-]
I dont know if they still do but my grandpa and grandma used to get milk deliveries once a week and they were in glass bottles.
#59 to #6 - xcoreyx (06/10/2014) [-]
The delivery thing was from a long time ago, before household refrigerators were invented. People didn't have a way to keep milk cold and fresh in their homes, so it would get delivered daily
User avatar #67 to #59 - enemyoftrn (06/10/2014) [-]
The one in Tom and Jerry affect my appetite for milk since I was 3 y/o back in the 90s.
#28 to #6 - therebemoose (06/09/2014) [-]
Well, here in Wisconsin, sometimes you can find a well stocked store that has pretty much all options. Cardboard and plastic for quarts; cardboard, plastic (cartons and bags), and glass for half gallons; and typically only plastic jugs for gallons.

My favorite milk comes in glass half-gallons, and their chocolate variety is the best ******* chocolate milk in existence. Pic is milk.
#31 - ashinydoornob (06/10/2014) [-]
heh i like this joke
heh i like this joke
#45 to #31 - motetobot (06/10/2014) [-]
omg i love xpeke he is the reason SKT won season 5
#46 to #45 - motetobot (06/10/2014) [-]
**** thought i was anon,

carry on hte rage

im sterile
User avatar #47 to #46 - ashinydoornob (06/10/2014) [-]
lol no i'm not like that
#48 to #47 - motetobot (06/10/2014) [-]
not you......

..... the others
#50 to #48 - ashinydoornob (06/10/2014) [-]
oh yeah. Some aren't as friendly as I.

Here have this
#51 to #50 - motetobot (06/10/2014) [-]
thanks

*friend*

User avatar #109 - gereorth (06/10/2014) [-]
Or.. An autistic person.

I've been an intern at a home for autistic children. One time a kid kicked a ball under a bed. He didn't know what to do how to get the ball. So I told him to go under the bed and get the ball.. I never told him to get back from under the bed when he had the ball.
#126 to #109 - anon (06/11/2014) [-]
Movie, Gilbert Grape, never told the little bro to get out of the bath. Kid shivered in the bath all night
User avatar #129 to #126 - gereorth (06/11/2014) [-]
Well, I'm glad this kid from my internship didn't have to do such a thing. When we washed them we stayed there till they were clean and in bed.
#62 - anon (06/10/2014) [-]
Input> Buy one milk
if (sensorvalue(eggs) >1)
buy 6 milks

It's simple stuff really.
User avatar #65 to #62 - caerulea (06/10/2014) [-]
It's not specified as 6 milks. Just, "6."
User avatar #96 - krobeles ONLINE (06/10/2014) [-]
This joke is only ever slightly funny, when its a programmer and his wife. When it isn't a programmer but just some random, that just means the dude is ******* retarded.
This just tells me that the person who made this, didn't understand the logic of the original joke.
0/10, would downthumb again if I could.
User avatar #119 - babyweasel (06/10/2014) [-]
This is what happens when you let the code monkeys out of there cages.
User avatar #80 - ubercookieboy (06/10/2014) [-]
There is no implication the second sentence is related to the first.
#71 - anon (06/10/2014) [-]
#3 - awesomechardey (06/09/2014) [-]
I remember when people were arguing about non-programmers are all fakers for pretending to understand this joke.
#4 to #3 - anon (06/09/2014) [-]
Why would programming help you understand this? I program and this is never an actual issue because you always specify regardless
#1 - anon (06/09/2014) [-]
no one would ever
#2 to #1 - anon (06/09/2014) [-]
i know for a fact that both me and my father would
User avatar #102 - bozzeo (06/10/2014) [-]
there are two kinds of people
if(...){
}
or
if(...)
{
}
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