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Tinder Alpha

 
Tinder Alpha. How to win at Tinder: Rule 1: Be attractive. Rule 2: Don't be unattractive.. Verizon PM -f 96% - G (ll) Lindsay " YOU MATCHED WITH LINDSAY ON 10,!
Tinder Alpha. How to win at Tinder: Rule 1: Be attractive. Rule 2: Don't be unattractive.. Verizon PM -f 96% - G (ll) Lindsay " YOU MATCHED WITH LINDSAY ON 10,!
Tinder Alpha. How to win at Tinder: Rule 1: Be attractive. Rule 2: Don't be unattractive.. Verizon PM -f 96% - G (ll) Lindsay " YOU MATCHED WITH LINDSAY ON 10,!
Tinder Alpha. How to win at Tinder: Rule 1: Be attractive. Rule 2: Don't be unattractive.. Verizon PM -f 96% - G (ll) Lindsay " YOU MATCHED WITH LINDSAY ON 10,!
Tinder Alpha. How to win at Tinder: Rule 1: Be attractive. Rule 2: Don't be unattractive.. Verizon PM -f 96% - G (ll) Lindsay " YOU MATCHED WITH LINDSAY ON 10,!
Tinder Alpha. How to win at Tinder: Rule 1: Be attractive. Rule 2: Don't be unattractive.. Verizon PM -f 96% - G (ll) Lindsay " YOU MATCHED WITH LINDSAY ON 10,!
Tinder Alpha. How to win at Tinder: Rule 1: Be attractive. Rule 2: Don't be unattractive.. Verizon PM -f 96% - G (ll) Lindsay " YOU MATCHED WITH LINDSAY ON 10,!

How to win at Tinder:
Rule 1: Be attractive.
Rule 2: Don't be unattractive.

Verizon PM -f 96% -
G (ll) Lindsay "
YOU MATCHED WITH LINDSAY ON 10,! -4, 315
You look like the type of
woman who would enjoy
being pinned Jif, against ?t,"
wall and ******
Oct 4, 2015, PM
You say that to all the girls ;)
No you aren' t
I' m not wrong.
Message Send
...
+1594
Views: 39957
Favorited: 233
Submitted: 10/06/2015
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Comments(183):

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[ 183 comments ]
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105 comments displayed.
Reply
+573
#7 - ablakguy (10/06/2015) [-]
The second to last one. 98% battery.
Reply
+43
User avatar #34 to #7 - kingofthedragonmen (10/06/2015) [-]
Phteven?
Reply
+1
#184 to #82 - anon (10/19/2015) [-]
Reply
+39
User avatar #54 to #7 - perform (10/06/2015) [-]
He works fast.
Reply
+142
#25 - blademontane (10/06/2015) [-]
played like a damn fiddle.mp 4
Reply
+6
User avatar #60 to #25 - jesusisagoose (10/06/2015) [-]
do i dare to click the link?
Reply
+10
#98 to #60 - mazzy (10/06/2015) [-]
I bit the bullet.
It's not a real website
Reply
+1
User avatar #177 to #98 - blademontane (10/07/2015) [-]
It's a problem when you write something.mp 4 or something else.webm

It thinks it's a link so it alters the formatting.
Reply
+1
User avatar #178 to #177 - blademontane (10/07/2015) [-]
maybe not something else.webm
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+284
User avatar #4 - plasterboy (10/06/2015) [-]
I'm imagining a girl being nailed to a wall and ****** .
Reply
+22
#24 to #4 - anon (10/06/2015) [-]
Who isn't?
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+191
#30 to #24 - klina ONLINE (10/06/2015) [-]
I don't think you understand.
Reply
+114
#35 to #30 - galaxyguy ONLINE (10/06/2015) [-]
Oh...
Reply
+4
#75 to #35 - anon (10/06/2015) [-]
Reply
+27
User avatar #73 to #4 - mikaelkid (10/06/2015) [-]
Same, number?
Reply
+2
User avatar #85 to #73 - plasterboy (10/06/2015) [-]
Sure,

69
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0
User avatar #97 to #85 - mikaelkid (10/06/2015) [-]
Same number as me ;)
Reply
+98
#22 - anon (10/06/2015) [-]
>This app drains my battery too much
>98%
Reply
+9
#65 to #22 - namesmeannothing (10/06/2015) [-]
If it works, it ain't stupid!
Reply
+217
#3 - jxa (10/06/2015) [-]
CAUTION Restrain from using sexual pickup lines if not well looked
Reply
+6
#123 to #3 - anon (10/06/2015) [-]
The guy probably got shot down 3/4 of the time...
Reply
+31
User avatar #36 to #3 - grovesimus (10/06/2015) [-]
Refrain* and good looking*
Reply
+2
User avatar #68 to #36 - deescalation (10/06/2015) [-]
you can also restrain yourself
Reply
0
User avatar #81 to #68 - kinginthenorth (10/06/2015) [-]
Yeah, but it'd have to be "Restrain yourself from...". Restrain by itself doesn't work, for as far as i know.
Reply
0
User avatar #86 to #81 - deescalation (10/06/2015) [-]
I meant that maybe he just forgot the word "yourself" instead of meaning to write another word
Reply
0
User avatar #87 to #86 - kinginthenorth (10/06/2015) [-]
He used "Well looked", so it's not the only iffy thing in the sentence.
Reply
+46
#11 - anon (10/06/2015) [-]
Guy must be hot as **** , else he would get shut down 10 out of 10 times with this line...
Reply
+3
User avatar #72 to #11 - Ruspanic (10/06/2015) [-]
Maybe he is, and is just posting the successes.
Reply
+20
User avatar #16 to #11 - helterskeletor (10/06/2015) [-]
its an app for hookups, not finding "the one"
Reply
+23
User avatar #46 to #16 - schwerdaddy (10/06/2015) [-]
Girls get hundreds, if not thousands of matches. They're not going to just **** some goon trying to act alpha. You have to be really attractive, or be talking to really ugly girls with lower standards to consistently have success with this.
Reply
+4
User avatar #63 to #46 - helterskeletor (10/06/2015) [-]
still no reason not to try
0
#62 to #46 - helterskeletor has deleted their comment [-]
Reply
+6
User avatar #18 to #16 - oranyonereally (10/06/2015) [-]
exactly
Reply
+1
#59 to #16 - halelus (10/06/2015) [-]
the point still stands
Reply
+37
User avatar #44 - agreatusername (10/06/2015) [-]
Lets be real here.
That turth or dare one is smooth as **** ...
Reply
+6
User avatar #69 to #44 - jokeface (10/06/2015) [-]
Quite. It even works if she picks dare, because then you just say "I dare you to give me your number" or something like that.
Reply
+77
User avatar #1 - anonymoussarcasm (10/06/2015) [-]
It probably doesn't hurt if he himself looks good.
Reply
+70
#9 - captainprincess (10/06/2015) [-]
Damn

2alpha4me
Reply
+47
#29 - braveshart (10/06/2015) [-]
>>Call Domino's
>>High-pitch voice answers phone
>>"Hello, Thank you for calling Domino's, I'm Sherri, can I take your order?"

Engage

>>"You sound like the type of girl that enjoys being pinned up against a wall and ****** "
>>"Wtf are you talking about, man?"
>>I realized that in my excitement that she won't have to see my face while I deliver the world's number one pick-up line, that I've been talking to a man this whole time
>>He said Terry, not Sherri
>>Slam phone into receiver after yelling "NO"
Never have Domino's from that location again
mfw I'm mom's spaghetti
Reply
+4
#142 to #29 - ohemgeezus ONLINE (10/07/2015) [-]
I don't even know what you just said but I like it
Reply
+8
User avatar #31 to #29 - PopcornViking (10/06/2015) [-]
what?
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+18
#38 to #29 - mystogan ONLINE (10/06/2015) [-]
Reply
+16
#6 - sageamacuhms (10/06/2015) [-]
Truth or Dare girl be like
Reply
+2
#95 to #64 - freddyltr (10/06/2015) [-]
Aunt Cass, Big Hero 6. Aka what you get when you combine the best of Marvel and the best of Disney animation studios
Reply
0
#96 to #95 - freddyltr (10/06/2015) [-]
Why do my gifs always end up like this ? what do i do wrong
Reply
0
User avatar #84 to #64 - dasbrot (10/06/2015) [-]
Large Champion Six
Reply
+9
#37 - matralith (10/06/2015) [-]
I can't believe that actually works
Reply
+5
User avatar #53 to #37 - omegafriend (10/06/2015) [-]
Women love confidence and the guy texting this is probably hot, plus the whole point of the app is casual sex
Reply
0
#170 to #53 - anon (10/07/2015) [-]
Its all fake. How much confidence does it take to text, women aren't that stupid.
Reply
+9
User avatar #74 - techniik (10/06/2015) [-]
I ****** a chick with a kid on tinder
She sucked my dick in my car

Tinder should be used for nothing but hook ups boys, don't look for a tinderella
Reply
0
#136 to #135 - rhevol ONLINE (10/07/2015) [-]
Define: "Kid"
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0
User avatar #183 to #136 - techniik (10/08/2015) [-]
She had a one year old or something, the woman I ****** gave birth to a child before I ****** her

Reply
+8
User avatar #78 to #74 - rahzma ONLINE (10/06/2015) [-]
How the hell did you fit a kid up a chicken? And why were you standing on dry wood?

I changed my mind, I don't want to know any of those things.
Reply
+4
User avatar #79 to #78 - techniik (10/06/2015) [-]
hehehe
Reply
+2
#106 - thelastelephant ONLINE (10/06/2015) [-]
Hang on, it's that easy?
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0
User avatar #112 to #106 - traveltech (10/06/2015) [-]
Well, you have to be attractive too
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0
#130 to #112 - vonspyder (10/07/2015) [-]
no you dont. Im as mediocre as all getout and ive lost count of how many attractive women ive slept with, hell the last one wound up marrying my ass and now ive got two kids. Confidence. Fake it if you have to.
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0
User avatar #157 to #130 - goodguygary (10/07/2015) [-]
so did your ass invite you to the wedding?
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0
User avatar #159 to #157 - vonspyder (10/07/2015) [-]
what does that even mean?
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0
User avatar #160 to #159 - goodguygary (10/07/2015) [-]
i'm trying to make comedy, you said she married your ass, so i used it in a literal sense where she just married your ass, and no other part of you. i then continued the joke by asking if your ass invited the rest of your body to the wedding, as showing up to a wedding uninvited can be an awkward event.
Reply
0
User avatar #162 to #160 - vonspyder (10/07/2015) [-]
ah... I'm probably too much of an oldfag to appreciate the joke. I have two daughters so I'm more or less restricted to dad jokes.
Reply
0
User avatar #163 to #162 - goodguygary (10/07/2015) [-]
that was a prime example of dad comedy, taking things too literally. like when someone says they're hungry and you take that as "they are called hungry"
what kind of horrid father doesn't even appreciate dad jokes?
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0
User avatar #164 to #163 - vonspyder (10/07/2015) [-]
perhaps something lost in the generational gap.
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0
User avatar #151 to #130 - assdoreponyfucker (10/07/2015) [-]
You both look like dirty jews who lost all respect for what life has to offer
Reply
0
User avatar #155 to #151 - vonspyder (10/07/2015) [-]
actually she's agnostic and I'm Unitarian, both love life, but we ate indeed dirty as hell.
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0
User avatar #143 to #130 - swimmingprodigy ONLINE (10/07/2015) [-]
You guys are both 5/10s. Just because she isnt ugly doesnt mean she's attractive. Average exists and you are it
Reply
0
User avatar #152 to #143 - vonspyder (10/07/2015) [-]
yeah I just said I'm mediocre as hell. as four my wife, she's beautiful to me so I could give a **** less what anyone else thinks of her.
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0
#137 to #130 - anon (10/07/2015) [-]
good on ya mate, but i'm pretty confident that shes about your level in the looks depo
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0
User avatar #153 to #137 - vonspyder (10/07/2015) [-]
not in my eyes which are the only ones that matter.
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0
User avatar #132 to #130 - bryzag (10/07/2015) [-]
I don't find her attractive...
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0
User avatar #154 to #132 - vonspyder (10/07/2015) [-]
that's fine, different strokes for different folks.
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+1
User avatar #127 to #106 - cdm (10/07/2015) [-]
Chicks dig confidence, bro.
...That's one of the several reasons I fail with them.
Reply
+5
#134 - rylenwolf (10/07/2015) [-]
>The last girl
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+4
User avatar #76 - Einsty (10/06/2015) [-]
>This app drains my battery too much
>98% battery

Tis a ruse
Reply
+1
User avatar #148 to #76 - blindpone (10/07/2015) [-]
Its almost as if he lied to get what he wanted.

But really, who would do such a thing?
Reply
+2
User avatar #129 - letting (10/07/2015) [-]
So that's what it like to be alpha.

I can't even message a girl.

Over the internet.

Never mind actually talking to one that I'm interested in.

Jesus, I need help.
Reply
+1
#131 to #129 - ZetsuYang (10/07/2015) [-]
Welcome to FJ
Reply
+2
#13 - learmy (10/06/2015) [-]
You look like the type of gurl who would enjoy being _ pinned up_ against a wall and ****** .
Reply
+2
User avatar #8 - Gwest (10/06/2015) [-]
All the pictures blurred out, probably just a bunch of fatties
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