Three bullets. . There was once a pregnant lady at a bank There was a robbery The woman was shot in the stomach three times but still survived She later went to rage comic Bullets three kids pooping bullets
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Three bullets

There was once a pregnant lady at a bank
There was a robbery
The woman was shot in the
stomach three times but still
survived
She later went to the doctor
Doctor are my triplets going to Yes, but when
be okay? they' re 15 the
bullets will leave
their bodies
Mom! I was pooping and OK, sorry it happened.
a bullet came out! (Told her the story)
Told her the
Mom! I was peeing and I faded! story)
A bullet clinked the side of the toilet!
Uh mom... Let me guess, you were
pooping and a bullet
came out!
I was masturbating and I shot the dog.
...
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Views: 49553
Favorited: 165
Submitted: 10/29/2013
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Comments(192):

[ 192 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#137 - anon (10/30/2013) [+] (7 replies)
stickied by mymiddleleg
gosh this post made me angry.. the joke is older than me, it's 			****		, it got 100 times worse when OP turned it into a comic (also, a 			*******		 rage comic in 2013) and it even got to front page and the worst of all, everyone here is defending OP.   
   
gonna post as anon as imma get thumbed down to hell
gosh this post made me angry.. the joke is older than me, it's **** , it got 100 times worse when OP turned it into a comic (also, a ******* rage comic in 2013) and it even got to front page and the worst of all, everyone here is defending OP.

gonna post as anon as imma get thumbed down to hell
#35 - FatherPedobear (10/30/2013) [-]
At least you know he isn't shooting blanks. I make myself laugh sometimes.
#90 to #35 - kankerkanker (10/30/2013) [-]
Unless the dog was names Blanks.
User avatar #161 to #35 - anonymouzx (10/30/2013) [-]
that's ******* clever

as i typed that the tv said it
#63 to #35 - Virt (10/30/2013) [-]
for future use good sir
#66 to #63 - FatherPedobear (10/30/2013) [-]
Saved. Thanks, buddy.
#46 to #35 - tazzerz ONLINE (10/30/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#1 - anon (10/29/2013) [-]
I knew this joke before I used the internet, to be honest.
User avatar #56 to #1 - hates (10/30/2013) [-]
I heard that same joke, but the mom mixed bb pellets into cookie batter since the kids always ate it before she could make cookies, and the son was "playing with the cat" and shot it
#107 to #1 - lamarisagoodname (10/30/2013) [-]
I can't believe you remember that time, I know I can't
#4 to #1 - justleaving (10/30/2013) [-]
I didn't
User avatar #6 to #1 - qwarthos ONLINE (10/30/2013) [-]
But in real life did they use memes to display the characters? Science can't answer that!
User avatar #20 to #6 - johncaveson **User deleted account** (10/30/2013) [-]
Goddam' right it can!

Here at Aperture we specialise in this exact kind of bullcrappery.

Good job, science.
User avatar #93 to #20 - therealcavejohnson (10/30/2013) [-]
And who the hell do you think you are trying to say you're in control of aperture. I built that company with my bare hands (and after a little test mishap) my bear hands! I'm not gonna lie you look more handsome than the devil himself but you can go back to whatever test tube you crawled out of at black mesa
#192 to #93 - johncaveson **User deleted account** (10/31/2013) [-]
Also, you may want this gif. Courtesy of THE REAL APERTURE. Humph.
Also, you may want this gif. Courtesy of THE REAL APERTURE. Humph.
User avatar #191 to #93 - johncaveson **User deleted account** (10/31/2013) [-]
Faggiots Faggiots.

Bullcrap. However we at aperture could use a handsome devil like you. If you join Aperture, we'll give you all the asparagus and methane you can use. Honest.

Have you heard all of cave Johnsons lines in PTI?
#12 - pappathethird (10/30/2013) [-]
Mom's fw
Mom's fw
User avatar #10 - nastoy (10/30/2013) [-]
Ehm... so he masturbated to his dog?
User avatar #131 to #10 - nastoy (10/30/2013) [-]
Omg i reach top 100 with 79 thumbs? last time i did this i had to get atleast 200-300
User avatar #148 to #131 - nastoy (10/30/2013) [-]
top 80... omg stop please.. this is humiliating...
User avatar #25 to #10 - bbboy (10/30/2013) [-]
he coulda been fapping and the bullet went through the wall and hit his dog
User avatar #81 to #10 - theporkwhisperer (10/30/2013) [-]
...Or he could've been ******* his dog.
#84 - doctorkolo (10/30/2013) [-]
wait, so he was masturbating at his dog?
with his dog?
around his dog?
to his dog?
#164 to #84 - ohayougozaimasu (10/30/2013) [-]
ah prepositions, prepositions
#98 to #84 - irishpunker (10/30/2013) [-]
IN his dog
IN his dog
User avatar #89 - rockamekishiko (10/30/2013) [-]
dear god, it's official, we're no better than 9gag
User avatar #163 to #89 - mayormilkman (10/30/2013) [-]
lolwut

All it took to convince you was just one rage comic on the front page?
User avatar #169 to #163 - rockamekishiko (10/30/2013) [-]
and the ******** rules that only leave content suitable for 10 year-olds.
User avatar #171 to #169 - mayormilkman (10/30/2013) [-]
Alrighty then. Continue with your whining.
User avatar #172 to #171 - rockamekishiko (10/30/2013) [-]
that's all i want
User avatar #173 to #172 - mayormilkman (10/30/2013) [-]
Let me tell you something: I wish FunnyJunk would stop whining about 9gag. At this point, it's absolutely pointless.
User avatar #179 to #173 - rockamekishiko (10/30/2013) [-]
i wish we were more reserved about our **** and stopped getting **** like this to the front page. where is our integrity? yeah you might say it's "hipster-ish" to always want things that are "underground" but that's really all the internet is. we all like inside jokes. that's why memes die with the family guy effect and when they get popular on facebook. people start misusing them and then associate them with other crap and then when we use them they associate us not with the original intention of w/e but with the "popular" conception
User avatar #183 to #179 - mayormilkman (10/30/2013) [-]
So, what's the beef with rage faces, then? Even if they're used correctly, some people will still complain about them. Besides, FunnyJunk users misuse a lot of other memes, but those users just don't know that they are. Also, even though it still has some popularity, 9gag isn't very relevant these days. It's stupid to still be upset over it.
User avatar #167 to #89 - mondominiman (10/30/2013) [-]
We were never better than 9gag. Were not as popular as them and their community isn't full of whining faggots. Just because you hear everyone on fj say the opposite doesn't make it true.
#43 - killerblue (10/30/2013) [-]
It has been a while since a rage comic has reached frontpage

Picture mostly unrelated
#71 - hitlersgayabortion (10/30/2013) [-]
and now we wait for the roll
User avatar #42 - bumpin (10/30/2013) [-]
rage comics on the front page? What is this sorcery?!?
User avatar #91 to #42 - rockamekishiko (10/30/2013) [-]
it's the scheme to be like 9gag. first ban anything no appropriate for 8 year olds and now, rage comics are making front page
#76 to #42 - konamicode (10/30/2013) [-]
We're bringing em back
#33 - include (10/30/2013) [-]
So that's why Gabe hates the number 3.
User avatar #72 - leafonthewind (10/30/2013) [-]
guess you can say he killed it with a pump action
#39 - rdnyan (10/30/2013) [-]
Yay rage comics
Yay rage comics
User avatar #58 to #39 - yourcomputer (10/30/2013) [-]
sauce if you don't mind...
User avatar #60 to #58 - ninjamyles **User deleted account** (10/30/2013) [-]
yuru yuri
User avatar #65 to #60 - yourcomputer (10/30/2013) [-]
thank you, here take my thumb!
User avatar #18 - greatboobya (10/30/2013) [-]
That was terrible
User avatar #102 to #18 - mattyjay (10/30/2013) [-]
:c
#68 to #18 - anon (10/30/2013) [-]
yes for the dog.
User avatar #49 - sienimies (10/30/2013) [-]
This is almost nostalgic.
#38 - abnormalgames (10/30/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#31 - vandettamask (10/30/2013) [-]
I love these kind of jokes, never get old.
I love these kind of jokes, never get old.
#96 - gnalde (10/30/2013) [-]
Wat
Wat
#17 - redknull (10/30/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
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