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this ones better

the owls over at ( Sachs have a put together" a guide to being a man' s man, Some you
might not agree with. some you NEED to do right now... and without further ado,,.
The t. c‘ ! dman Sachs guide to being a man:
Stop talking about where you went to college.
Always carry cash. Keep so me in your front pocket-
Rebel from briskness casual. burn your khakis and wear a stilt organs.
s to trade the possibility of your this and Ems for mwe guaranteed full in your and ,
Never stay out after midnight three nights in a row... Unless something really good comes up on
the third night.
Bron will regret your tattoos.
Never date an ex of your friend,
join Twitter, become your own curator of information.
If riding the. bus doesn' t incentive's you to improve your station in Me, nothing will.
is too short to do your own laundry.
when the bartender asks. you should already know what you want to drink.
ifyou perspire, wear a damn undershirt.
Hookers aren* t cool, hut remember, the tree ones are a lot more expensive-
when people don' t invite you to a party. you really shouldn' t go. And even when you
are invited. you shouldn' t go.
People are tired of you being the funny, drunk guy.
when in doubt. always kiss the girl.
Tip more than you should.
you probably use your mobile phone too often and at the wrong moments.
Buy sunglasses. Superficial? ‘res, but so are the women yogi rig you. And IT tells these
women you appreciate nice things and are responsible enough not to lose them.
to 50 , signups, and clips before you shower each morning.
Eat brunch with friends at least every other weekend. Leave Rusty and_] union at home.
he a regular at more than one bar.
Act like you' been there before, It doesn' t matter if it' s in the end who at the Super Bowl or on d
private plane.
A glass of wine or two with lunch will not ruin your day.
Learn how to .
No selfies. Aspire to exp freerice moments in the company of a bee Littul woman.
Own a handcrafted shotgun. It' s a beautiful thing.
ff he res always another level. just be content knowing that you are still belt er oft than most who
have ever lived.
You can get away with a lot more f you' re the one buying the drinks.
Ask for a salad instead of fries.
l‘. ion" t split a check.
Pretty who are : imed want you to talk to them,
when or bartender buys you a round, tip double
Be spontaneous.
Mod a limes New Human in the. streets and a " in the sheets. yhe. exists.
Piercings are liabilities tn fights.
Do not use an electric razor.
Desserts are for women. Order one and pretend you do ht mind that she' s ea ting yours-
Buy a tuxedo before you are so stay that size.
Dine girlfriend at a time is probably enough,
rfi;
Detour ties should be rolled and placed in a sectioned he drawer.
parties. But have someoene else clean up the nerd day.
Measure yourself only against your previous self.
Take more pictures. with a camera-
is worse thenoname dropping.
tour clothes do not match. They go together.
A' es, ofcourse you have to buy her dinner.
Staying angry is a waste of energy.
she expects the person you are 20% of the time, roots of the time. then she doesn' t want you.
Always bring a bottle of something to the party.
Don' t use the word "closure" or ever expect it in real life.
If you are wittier than you are handsome, avoid loud clubs.
Date worded outside your social set. you' ll be surprised.
If it' s got velvet ropes and lines, walk away unless you know someone.
or cannot have a love affair with whiskey because whiskey will never love you back.
you believe in evolution, you should know something about how it works.
liltbone cares ifyou are offended, so stop it.
Never take an erki back. She tried to do better and is settling with you
Eating out alone can be magnificent. Find a place where you can sit at the bar.
Head more, it allows you to borrow someone else' s brain, and will make you more Interesting at a
dinner party - provided that you don' t initiate conversation with, "so. who are you reading..."
Ignore the boos. They usually come from the cheap seats.
flout ever say, "it is what it is."
l: ion“ t gamble if losing cusion is going to piss you off,
Remember, "rules are for the obedience of fools and the guidance of wise men."
...
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Views: 7829
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Submitted: 01/08/2016
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#1 - robuntu (01/09/2016) [-]
-Make money by screwing people and exploiting the legal system
#2 - anon (01/09/2016) [-]
Throw parties, but have someone else clean up the next day.

^ I was taught to pick up after myself. And fix the mistakes or messes that I've made.
#4 - dzimo ONLINE (01/09/2016) [-]
basically have money.

so simple to be a good man.
#6 - bookie (01/09/2016) [-]
Aye aye dad!
#5 - buffalogriller (01/09/2016) [-]
I was expecting a 9gag watermark on this.
User avatar #11 - homestuckxplain (01/09/2016) [-]
Why would we need this?

This is FunnyJunk. We don't look for women.
User avatar #18 - okamiterasu ONLINE (01/09/2016) [-]
Ah yes, Goldman Sachs. Authors of other popular guides, such as "how not to run a bank", "How to rely on other people to save your failing bank", and of course "How to destabilize the world economy"
#17 - teamrocketninja (01/09/2016) [-]
***** Im broke
#10 - thecrayzeeman (01/09/2016) [-]
Some of these sound a bit pretentious.

Others are straight up expensive.

But it is what it is, I guess.
User avatar #9 - retrotroglodyte ONLINE (01/09/2016) [-]
50 dips every morning... damn
User avatar #19 to #9 - Einsty ONLINE (01/09/2016) [-]
so much chips to go with that...
#22 to #21 - Einsty ONLINE (01/10/2016) [-]
User avatar #8 - froot (01/09/2016) [-]
While a lot of this appeals, I've dated guys like this. They get boring, but they're good for filling your wardrobe.

I'd rather a guy told me he goes to Paris often than if he told me he parties with Paris often. Paris is one of my favourite cities, and if someone told me they went to Paris often, I'd want to befriend them because maybe they can show me new places to look at in the city.

Business casual can look good but more often looks tacky. On either gender. The only way it can work is if you spend a huge amount of money on it, and it almost always isn't worth it.

Acting like you've been there before all the time gets pretentious. Sometimes a girl wants to show you something new. Acting like you've done it will just annoy her, or make her feel like she's not special enough to think of something new that you've not tried. She'll find someone who does appreciate her efforts instead.

Clothes going together is indeed more important that clothes matching. Goes for guys and girls though.

Fries are the bomb diggity, but salads are also pretty cool. Mix it up. You'll get bored of salad.

I'd rather a guy who knows how to use hashtags to his advantage - someone who knows how to manipulate social media in his favour - over someone who refuses to use them because "lol they're stupid". My food blog Delicioso increased its follower count by 60% on Instagram simply because I learned how to manipulate the hashtags and the photos themselves to my favour. It currently has a followers to following ratio of roughly 2:1, which is a ******* achievement when the numbers are pretty low.

Desserts are for whoever the **** wants a dessert. Guys like chocolate too, don't pretend you don't.

Expensive sunglasses can sometimes make you look like a compete twat. Depends where you spend most of your time.

Basically, my opinion is if you're going to wear a suit make sure it's ******* tailored properly for you. A badly fitted suit is worse than no suit.

Carrying cash is a good idea for anyone. Some places don't take card for whatever reason, and sometimes those places are really good.

User avatar #12 to #8 - tittylovin (01/09/2016) [-]
Wow women stereotypes are true.
User avatar #13 to #12 - froot (01/09/2016) [-]
I can kinda see on some of my comments how you see that, man.

idk a lot of these are common sense but some of them are ******* ridiculous like nah. Why buy a tuxedo if you'll wear it like 3 times in your life? That's stupid and a waste of money.

But oh my god trust me, you get bored of salad. I love salad so much and I get bored of salad every summer
User avatar #14 to #13 - tittylovin (01/09/2016) [-]
I only read the first thing, about filling up a wardrobe. Didn't read the rest.

Also


LONDON
O
N
D
O
N
User avatar #15 to #14 - froot (01/09/2016) [-]
London's one of my favourite local-ish cities. Like, that's a domestic city to me, and I work there every so often with a charity. It feels like home, but Paris is where I found a love of food and travel so it's always going to be close to my heart.
#7 - anon (01/09/2016) [-]
IM A MAN ... needs instructions how to MAN. well done faggit.
#20 - anon (01/10/2016) [-]
In the business world I don't think I'd trust someone like this. However, this does set up a lot of guys to be used. So, idk maybe I would.
User avatar #16 - herecomesjohnny (01/09/2016) [-]
>you should be the one buying dinner
oh boy the keyboard warriors are going to love this
User avatar #3 - ampharosrules (01/09/2016) [-]
I'm surprised at how many of these I already do/follow. Most are the simpler and less expensive things, of course.
Apologies for how douchey/stuck-up this sounds.

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