these work on a toddler

crixuz

1.) Put fresh parsley in your dog' s food to give them better
breath and an unshakeable sense of superiority.
Use a plastic pitcher tor easily pourable, fresh food.
3', Learn doggy CPR.
saving your pet with CPR
Wit‘ new We Check for breathing and pulse
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prim. begin on .
not responsive to syn.
It not breathing. give
breath to animal
this Inuit my
Pia your mum our in nose
man to New an in
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to New an in
Helmet: maneuver
aiit@ Tei .
more .
Start compressions It no pulse
Common Wham
ikp, i:% , you that only
Ynes.) taste»; 5
4.) Use a carabiner to secure your dogs leash when
wrapping it around a tree, pole, or post.
5.) Use a squeegee to get that . . . dog hair out
at your carpets.
6.) Freeze apple slices in chicken broth tor a cool treat an a
hot summer' s day.
Know what your dog is saying with their body language.
LANGUAGE
starring Boogie the Boston turner
mar suspicious ANSI"
pacer -wuss‘ -new *
Kia. Bl tiid tid
new sues’ muse
FRIENDLY 1. some - mus? ' Erw'
EMW". I LOVE row ‘in -sewn won i/ an FEED Mr
ominous um d LOVE mu
use my a not» -my new r stav-
B.) When rig your dog a bath, put a shower cap on its
head. This will help prevent soap or shampoo from getting in
their eyes and you from getting into a bad mood.
9.) If your dog gets loose, lie down and pretend to be injured
instead of chasing them.
10.) It your dog mes on the carpet, us baking soda to
remove the stain and stench.
11.) If your dog doesn' t like having its teeth brushed, put
some canine toothpaste on their favorite rope toy.
12.) Turn your pup into a party animal by attaching a bottle
to their leash.
13.) It your dog eats too fast, put a tennis ball in the middle
at their dish. It will be enough in the way to get your dog to
slow down, but not so much that they won' t be able to reach
their food.
Know which foods dogs should not eat under any
circumstance.
T, MO ; soaps
no was
Gum Douro
Douro snows
FITS
rust DOUGH
15.) It you lose your dog:
HOW TO FIND A LOST DOG
On day 12 of searching for my dog in a heavily
wooded area, distraught and hopeless, I ran into a
couple at hunters. They said they lost the occasional
dog on a hunt but always got them back. What they
told me has helped many dogs and families be
reunited.
The dog owner( s) should take an article of clothing
that has been worn at least all day, the longer the
better, so the lost dog can pick up the scent.
Bring the article of clothing to the location where the
dog was last seen and leave it there. Also, if the dog
has a crate & familiar toy, you can bring those too
unless location undesirable for crate). You might also
want to leave a note requesting item( s] not to be
moved.
Leave a bowl at water there too, as the dog probably
hasn‘ t had access to any. Do not bring food as this
could attract other animals that the dog might avoid.
Come back the next day, or check intermittently if
possible. Hopefully the dog will be waiting there.
I was skeptical and doubted my dog would be able
to detect an article of clothing if he didn' t hear me
calling his name as loud as possible all day for 12
days. But I returned the next day and sure enough
found him sitting there!
I hope this helps someone out there who' s missing a
best friend. Good luck 2)

...

+689

Views:	27134
Favorited:	222
Submitted:	01/01/2016

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+192

#20 - lulusaurus (01/02/2016) [-]

"If your dog gets loose, lie down and pretend to be injured..."

Or chase them down like an apex predator and make them regret running off.

#79 to #20 - lordfroz (01/02/2016) [-]

**lordfroz used "*roll picture*"**
**lordfroz rolled image** Dember please confirm.

#89 to #79 - Dember (01/03/2016) [-]

Funny, but pretty inaccurate. Unless you have a fat, mobility-impaired little Pekingese, most dogs can quite easily outrun a human - and when trying to catch them turns into a game of tag, that can be highly dangerous for your dog.

You're going to look a lot less like an "apex predator" and more like a fat, slow ******** whose dog can outsmart you by dancing around just out of your reach while you lunge and grab for them like you've got a bad case of the Down's, if anything.

Ideally, you should practice recall commands so your dog will reliably come back when called -- but not all dogs are so easily trainable.

I raise huskies; arguably one of the most stubborn and free-spirited breeds who will take off at any opportunity and not come back, because the thrill of running and exploring is too deeply ingrained in their blood to ignore.

However, even a well-trained dog can disobey if presented with the right stimulation - whether it's a squirrel, a stray cat, another dog, a kid on a bike, a big noisy dump truck, a backfiring car, or anything else.

So, it's often good to have an arsenal of tricks up your sleeve for if your dog ever does slip out the door (or gate) or ends up running loose.

In a dire situation (such as near traffic for instance), one of these is to hit the ground and begin rolling around, making any manner of unusual noises - pretend to cry, or laugh, or flail your arms and legs, anything. It could be the difference between life or death for your pup.
Dogs are smart though, so this trick usually only works once - save it for an emergency.

Another great option if your dog likes car rides, is to run to your car and throw the door open - maybe holler "load up!" or "let's go bye-bye!" or whatever else gets them excited to hop in the car.

In many cases, just sprinting in the opposite direction can be enough to get your dog to chase YOU instead of the other way around. Rather than letting them turn it into a game, you turn it into a game instead - one that you can actually win, since your dog will catch you much easier than you will catch them.

There are other methods too, but these are the ones I've found most reliable, short of baiting them with some pieces of hotdog or anything else handy.

Oh, and it's highly inadvisable to punish, let alone beat your dog for running off -- this is YOUR fault as the owner for not properly training, containing or restraining the dog - NOT the dog's fault for acting like a dog.

Dogs live in the now; and by abusing them when you CATCH them, they associate being caught (or returning to you) with something terrifying, painful and otherwise highly negative. That means if or when they get loose or take off again (and they will - because taking OFF was not unpleasant for them, coming BACK was) they will be a lot less inclined to let you catch them, much less come back on their own.

Returning to you should always be a positive experience - if they trust you and know you are the bringer of all good things who rewards their company with love, affection and treats, rather than an angry tyrant who mistreats them with harsh shouting and beatings, they will be FAR more inclined to stay with you - and return when called if they do wander too far off.

Source: proud owner of off-leash trustworthy wolf dog/s.

#63 to #20 - captchakid ONLINE (01/02/2016) [-]

source?

#64 to #63 - saukkse (01/02/2016) [-]

source is overlord

#77 to #64 - barakakaka (01/02/2016) [-]

That ******* death though. Brutal as **** .

#39 to #20 - zmranger (01/02/2016) [-]

I hated that bitch. Not that she's a badly written character, on the contrary, she is a kind of villan one loves to hate.

#53 to #39 - zetsuboukamina ONLINE (01/02/2016) [-]

Her voice was pure sex

#52 to #39 - lulusaurus (01/02/2016) [-]

I really enjoyed her voice. The way it rolls and cracks.

#54 to #39 - krikk (01/02/2016) [-]

Such a pity her death scene was less graphic in anime than it was in novel.

#67 to #54 - thesoulseeker (01/02/2016) [-]

I thought it was suitably graphic.

#70 to #67 - krikk (01/02/2016) [-]

WEll she didn't **** her insides so 6/10 I guess.

#72 to #70 - fuckmymen (01/02/2016) [-]

the ******* pain of waiting for the 10th novel

#76 to #72 - avatice (01/02/2016) [-]

Oh I'm not logged in.

#75 to #72 - anon (01/02/2016) [-]

Not happening tho.

#78 to #75 - fuckmymen (01/02/2016) [-]

Just believe in Nigel. He already said he's going to translate the 10th and upload it. Past that....well we will see

#84 to #78 - krikk (01/02/2016) [-]

What is this Nigel you speak of? I see that skythewood dropped Overlord.

#86 to #84 - fuckmymen (01/02/2016) [-]

Nigel is part of skythewood, or rather he's the main translator on most projects.Nigel's active on 4chans /a/.

#58 to #20 - thesovereigngrave (01/02/2016) [-]

My dog is half ******* beagle, so she's a fast ************ . She gets loose and she runs off, stopping every so often to stop and look back at me smiling because she thinks it's a ******* game.

It's infuriating.

#90 to #58 - Dember (01/03/2016) [-]

>>#89,

Lived with a pair of ******* beagles for over 10 years.
Who would have thought something so little with such short legs could be so damn flighty and hard to grab...

Hunting breeds like hound dogs are a royal pain; they'd rather trot along with their nose to the ground while occasionally mocking your attempts to call them back or catch them than listen to a dang command they good and well know.

Some of these tips might help you, I've used them to nab these cheeky mofos more times than I can count.

#95 to #90 - thesovereigngrave (01/03/2016) [-]

Oh cool, well thanks. Though it's been awhile since she's gotten off her leash, it'd be nice to have some possible courses of actions besides just "run after her and hope I can get close enough that when she tries to dash past I can catch her" if she ever does.

And she pretty much acts just like you described, even though she's not full beagle. She's actually a puggle (which it seems like it'd make that rather impressive since half of her ancestors were inbred lapdogs).

#96 to #95 - Dember (01/04/2016) [-]

lol, seriously - but mixed-breeds can easily take after one parent or the other, and even among purebreds there's a very broad range of personalities, so I'm not the least bit shocked the headstrong hound overcame the pug in terms of disposition. Did you know pugs are actually a type of mastiff? : P

I've found that beagles are such insufferable chow-hounds, just grabbing a hotdog is enough to coax them back. I've actually ran out, showed them I had food in my hand, ran back to the house, threw the door open, chucked the food inside and they both went running right back in and inhaled it. Luckily compared to the "thinking" breeds like huskies and wolfdogs, these aren't really the rocket scientists of the dog world, lol.

#97 to #96 - thesovereigngrave (01/04/2016) [-]

Yeah, and it's not even just disposition; she looks like a beagle with a shorter snout, slightly curled tail, and wrinkles. We've actually had several people ask if she was a beagle before.

Yeah, when our puggle would get out we'd go into the house and grab a bag/box of treats. Offering her one would often be enough to get her to come close enough for us to grab her and take her back inside. She loves food; too much, really.

#49 to #20 - kinokun (01/02/2016) [-]

I could run faster than my dog ****** didn't stand a chance.

#41 to #20 - rihardololz (01/02/2016) [-]

and give him RKO out of nowhere?

#46 to #20 - tarabostes (01/02/2016) [-]

You're one mean kitty!

#55 to #46 - thrifty (01/02/2016) [-]

That face seems familiar....

+21

#28 to #20 - brothergrimm (01/02/2016) [-]

Unless it's your mother's ******* rat dog that can outrun you at a full sprint for half a mile before he begins to show any sign of fatigue...... little bastard.....

+16

#40 to #28 - kibuza (01/02/2016) [-]

Why would you WANT to catch that...?

Just tell her you lost it and go get a real dog.

#87 to #40 - brothergrimm (01/02/2016) [-]

Because as annoying as he is, i still love the fuzzy little ******

+10

#31 to #28 - ryanunlockedsjw (01/02/2016) [-]

******* chihuahuas man...

#83 to #28 - farted ONLINE (01/02/2016) [-]

This little ******* right here breaks mach 20 once she gets through the front door.

And every time I get home from work she just sits there with this stupid ******* face, waiting for a chance to run out.

#91 to #83 - Dember (01/03/2016) [-]

Um, can I have my pom back...?

#98 to #83 - ryanunlockedsjw (01/05/2016) [-]

They Have unbelievable endurance too.

Last time mine got out it was cold as **** out rain and hes just sitting there at the end of my gate staring me down.

#74 to #28 - angelisk (01/02/2016) [-]

Not trying to prove you wrong because that is what REALLY would happen now, but it seems in a study we might not be the fastest but we used to be the freaking best at keeping our fatigue, the reason we were an succesful species as we were now is because we tired the **** out of animals just by sheer stamina when we still had to hunt.

+18

#23 - natemose (01/02/2016) [-]

"Foods" "Alcohol"

#26 - ballinsalo (01/02/2016) [-]

So does parsley make the dog go beast mode or what?

What's the benefit of the superiority?

+15

#50 to #26 - angeltwentyfour (01/02/2016) [-]

In just 5 weeks, your dog will feel the superiority of ParsleyPower™

+14

#18 - anon (01/02/2016) [-]

Im not risking accidentally making mustard gas

+11

#44 - mutzaki (01/02/2016) [-]

If you lie down and pretend to be injured enough times, your dog is just going to think you're fooling around in an actual situation where you need help. Instead, you should break your own leg every time you want your dog to come to you.

#56 to #44 - anon (01/02/2016) [-]

If you have a buddy with you, have them punch you in the stomach. Less medical bills.

+29

#22 - dazartimm (01/02/2016) [-]

I was really confused by the apple and chicken broth one until I remembered that this is a dog comp. That high.

#24 to #22 - anonmuncher ONLINE (01/02/2016) [-]

same

#36 - vaevictor (01/02/2016) [-]

+40

#1 - anon (01/01/2016) [-]

Most of those dog body language ones are wrong.
Is this what it is to be completely oblivious?

#80 to #1 - lordfroz (01/02/2016) [-]

**lordfroz used "*roll picture*"**
**lordfroz rolled image**then post an accurate one

-5

#19 to #1 - crlmsonhazard (01/02/2016) [-]

Dogs just pretend to be nice to get treats. Merely acting

#60 to #19 - thesovereigngrave (01/02/2016) [-]

My dogs are absolutely sweet to people who have never given them any treat what-so-ever.

#30 to #1 - everheat (01/02/2016) [-]

Please include a correction in relation to your claim.

#85 to #30 - meganinja (01/02/2016) [-]

"most of those"

There were like 30 of them, nobody's going to bother with writing everything wrong with it down.

#7 to #1 - kikisu ONLINE (01/02/2016) [-]

They actually look very similar to what to my dogs do when they're feeling stuff.

#16 to #1 - rogaa (01/02/2016) [-]

Everytime I see a face post on FJ there has to be at least one thing wrong. Everytime.

+12

#21 to #1 - drpenguinz (01/02/2016) [-]

tbh, i dont get why anon gets upvotes here
you ever seen a dog in your life guys?
the picture is pretty accurate

give me an example of a "wrong one"

#17 - theincorrigibleone ONLINE (01/02/2016) [-]

This one is entirely useless for me.
Why? All my family has ever owned is english mastiffs, danes, and a couple other giant breed mixes. These are dogs that will go through 12 or more cups of food in a day while young and, as they get older, go down to around 8 cups of food a day. We have to use large plastic containers to store the food and use measured buckets to move it to their bowls.

Right now, I've just got one male mastiff and he goes through about 7 1/2 cups of food a day at 7 years old. He's the one that became MY dog before I moved out and my parents let me bring him along with me. He doesn't mind being away from the other dogs too much since my girlfriend lives with me so he has people around most all day long, plus we take him out on the town every few days. He's not the biggest fan of car rides, but he loves meeting people once we get somewhere.

#92 to #17 - Dember (01/03/2016) [-]

What kind of food do you use? Quality is key - my husky mix used to eat 6 cups of food a day and it seemed perfectly normal for a large, 90 pound dog.

Didn't realize what garbage that stuff actually was, though - it had the nutritional equivalent of cardboard, so he ate like a land shark.

Switched him to a better food and he eats 2 cups per day at most and is completely full. Big difference.

Never owned a giant breed myself, but my first girlfriend raises Great Danes and she had the same experience - went from a "reasonable" 9 cups a day on Iams, to 4 cups of a higher quality brand.

Makes a drastic difference not only in the food costs, but in their health and the vet bills you avoid.

#10 - englishamazon (01/02/2016) [-]

Thank you OP. These will come in handy.

#2 - boomerpyro (01/02/2016) [-]

why can't dogs eat grapes?

#25 to #2 - yugiohkris

ONLINE (01/02/2016) [-]

Only people like grapes.

-1

#65 to #2 - hidanfangirl (01/02/2016) [-]

Because grapes suck

#5 to #2 - goodhomer ONLINE (01/02/2016) [-]

It's toxic to them. No one knows why.

#13 to #5 - leifbunny (01/02/2016) [-]

Renal Failure, I heard.

#14 to #13 - goodhomer ONLINE (01/02/2016) [-]

that isn't why, that's how.

#15 to #14 - leifbunny (01/02/2016) [-]

Ah.

#47 to #2 - tarabostes (01/02/2016) [-]

they're sour

#3 to #2 - boomerpyro (01/02/2016) [-]

holy **** why do i suddenly have a hat?

#12 to #3 - craftyatom ONLINE (01/02/2016) [-]

Users with avatars get hats when they post a comment (not a reply) that has no picture otherwise associated with it. This change was implemented mid-december, and originally showed christmas hats.

-2

#29 to #3 - ugoboom

ONLINE (01/02/2016) [-]

what craftyatom said, top level replies gets hats if you don't adblock.
mods get cat ears and admin gets some other ******** I forgot

#6 to #2 - ROFL (01/02/2016) [-]

www.petmd.com/dog/emergency/digestive/e_dg_grape_raisin_toxicity

#11 - chikibriki ONLINE (01/02/2016) [-]

number 4 only works if you use a carabiner that is meant for climbing with heavy gear or you have a puny rat dog

#4 - roannoke (01/02/2016) [-]

my girlfriends dad literally will set a beer down and the dogs will drink the whole thing and be fine. Is it really toxic to them? because they seem to be okay

#33 to #4 - gloriousthighs (01/02/2016) [-]

Just because they survive doesn't mean it is safe. My dad for some reason left a chocolate cake he baked on his bed to cool down and returned to find it gone. Not sure which of our dogs ate the entire thing but none showed symptoms of illness. They have also gotten into drawers and eaten easter rabits and such. Not good.

#8 to #4 - kikisu ONLINE (01/02/2016) [-]

www.aspca.org/pet-care/animal-poison-control/people-foods-avoid-feeding-your-pets Here's some explanations for the different stuff.

#9 to #4 - crypticmerle (01/02/2016) [-]

Besides causing potential liver, kidney and dehydration problems dogs can also get:
Physical depression - too much alcohol in their system slows down their central nervous system and cause lack of coordination as well as slowing down their breathing and heart rate and potentially cause them to slip into a coma.
High levels of alcohol can cause their blood to become too acidic and lead to cardiac arrest.
It can cause their blood sugar to drop to dangerous levels leading to brain damage and seizures.

As long as the dogs aren't exhibiting confusion, lack of coordination, difficulty breathing, increase in urination, drop in temperature, seizures or other concerning symptoms then they are probably okay, but it's definitely something that shouldn't be habitual. Increased exposure to any toxic item in their system can cause damage over time to bodily organs.

#57 - EmulateSnes ONLINE (01/02/2016) [-]

id just honk and wait for him to hop on.

#34 - BerryLicious (01/02/2016) [-]

As a dog trainer, I can tell you this advice is good **** .
Another good thing to do with your pooches is make them some doggy tea.
All you have to do is add some hot water to some dry kibble and let it soak/infuse, much like you would a tea bag. Obviously don't give to your dogs when it's hot! You don't want to burn their little mouths.
Let it cool, and you can either pour it straight out for your woofer, or you can make ice lollies out of it.
My woofs would always crunch right through any lolly I made for them, so I got some small plastic tubs (like the bowls you feed children out of) poured the doggy tea (kibble and all) into the bowls & froze them.
My woofs couldn't crunch them, so they had to lick to get the kibble at the bottom. Also the ice tasted like yum so. It kept them entertained and cool in the summer. You can add other stuff, like corned beef or ham or whatever, so long as it's not bad for them.

Pic related, it's my Stubrador enjoying his ice lolly.

#35 to #34 - BerryLicious (01/02/2016) [-]

Oh yeah, don't usse stock cubes or gravy granules to make broth or doggy tea, because a lot of the time, they can contain extracts of onion or garlic, which is poisonous. Just make it yourself

#94 to #35 - Dember (01/03/2016) [-]

Yep! Making bone broth in a slow cooker like a crockpot is great for frozen goodies that'll keep them entertained for hours.

We only feed raw bones to our "woofs" (and doggy-dogs too) so they don't break teeth or splinter, so this is a great use for the cooked ones we save from our own meals.

#32 - vladi (01/02/2016) [-]

Family dog did that greeting stretch thing to me this morning. I've never been this happy.

#27 - justleaving (01/02/2016) [-]

This kills the dog

I know, not a Chihuahua
unless you mix them up, go play a game of tennis and accidentally serve your Chihuahua

#71 - veryfahnyjokes (01/02/2016) [-]

GIF

That's a great comp, thanks OP!

#62 - orangebudd (01/02/2016) [-]

**orangebudd used "*roll picture*"**
**orangebudd rolled image** WARF

#42 - friedgreenpomatoes (01/02/2016) [-]

Eating very small amounts of chocolate actually won't kill most dogs bigger than toy size.

It'll give them the runs, but won't do much else.

#48 to #42 - tarabostes (01/02/2016) [-]

i'd give you my mars bar you little bitch ;)

#51 to #42 - sisterblister (01/02/2016) [-]

same thing for toddlers but i believe its a different kind of runs

#93 to #42 - Dember (01/03/2016) [-]

The effects of chocolate toxicity are more commonly seen in long-term health. While it does take huge doses to cause an immediate effect, even small amounts can lead to severe or life-threatening health concerns that might not be obvious for months or longer. Best to avoid altogether - if you really want to give your dogs chocolate, give them Carob instead. Looks and tastes the same, but doesn't have the Theobromine ingredient in it that's poisonous to them.

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[ 98 comments ]