There’s always room... There’s always room for a poem in my heart… geniusquotes.net/awesome-quotes/. A nice little rhyme on a toilet deer we amt. my Pants "ct.  funny
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There’s always room..

There’s always room... There’s always room for a poem in my heart… geniusquotes.net/awesome-quotes/. A nice little rhyme on a toilet deer we amt. my Pants "ct.

There’s always room for a poem in my heart… geniusquotes.net/awesome-quotes/

Tags: funny
A nice little rhyme on a toilet deer
we amt. my Pants "ct. ):. assert
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Views: 50424
Favorited: 177
Submitted: 05/14/2014
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Comments(67):

[ 67 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#11 - grimagination ONLINE (05/14/2014) [-]
User avatar #5 - vorarephilia ONLINE (05/14/2014) [-]
Here i sit in stinky vapor;
Someone stole the toilet paper.
For this i will not stand,
I'll hunt them down and use their hand!
#4 - lean (05/14/2014) [-]
.....And now I sit here at a loss   
I've filled my pants with taco sauce.   
So while I wait in stink and fear,   
I hope to hide my 			****		 stained rear.
.....And now I sit here at a loss
I've filled my pants with taco sauce.
So while I wait in stink and fear,
I hope to hide my **** stained rear.
User avatar #12 to #4 - mrnaanbread (05/14/2014) [-]
I like your triple-rhyme scheme.
User avatar #33 to #4 - makedonski (05/15/2014) [-]
Nice rhyme. The gif looks like that faggot comedian that yells a lot
User avatar #35 to #33 - britexplain ONLINE (05/15/2014) [-]
Could you be a bit more specific?
User avatar #39 to #35 - makedonski (05/15/2014) [-]
Kevin Hart
#56 to #4 - russianexplain (05/15/2014) [-]
I haven't laughed on fj in a while. Thank you.
User avatar #37 to #21 - adplum (05/15/2014) [-]
b&
#15 - gibroner (05/15/2014) [-]
****		 stories? 			****		 stories! So a couple weeks ago I was pretty badly constipated. I woke up one morning with quite a bit of pain in my stomach and the feeling that I had a huge log right on the precipice of my butthole. I went to sit down on the toilet and attempted to expel the feces from my bowels to no avail. So I decided to aid the passage of the poop through other means. I went to the grocery store and picked up a box of fiber one bars. When I got home I quickly ate the entire box. Hours passed before I started to feel any hint of movement in my intestines. It started out around 5pm as only small gurglings in the depths of my digestive tract which persisted for some time. Then around 8pm the farts commenced they started out as moderate sized farts that had little to no odor. The farts gradually began increasing in magnitude and smell by 10pm they were averaging 7 seconds in length and carried a pungent aroma. By 12am the farts had become gales of putrescent odor that smelled like something produced by a diseased skunk. These ungodly war crimes from my anus continued until about 1am when finally I felt the 			****		 that had been hiding in the dark recesses of my bowel sink into position. I immediately dashed for the nearest toilet and positioned myself for what I knew was going to be a taxing ordeal. I unclenched my sphincter and gently pushed out a few small and gnarled looking chunks of 			****		. These chunks must have been acting as a sort of plug because they were immediately followed by torrents of liquid feces. The slimy watery 			****		 came out in 5 consecutive waves that issued forth from my anus with the force of  a fire hose. The smell that accompanied the brown hydro pumps was so intense I found myself gagging and choking on the now toxic air. When the rushing river of diarrhea had finally run dry I lay back and flushed the toilet. The feeling of relief I had when all was said and done I imagine is akin to birthing a child.
**** stories? **** stories! So a couple weeks ago I was pretty badly constipated. I woke up one morning with quite a bit of pain in my stomach and the feeling that I had a huge log right on the precipice of my butthole. I went to sit down on the toilet and attempted to expel the feces from my bowels to no avail. So I decided to aid the passage of the poop through other means. I went to the grocery store and picked up a box of fiber one bars. When I got home I quickly ate the entire box. Hours passed before I started to feel any hint of movement in my intestines. It started out around 5pm as only small gurglings in the depths of my digestive tract which persisted for some time. Then around 8pm the farts commenced they started out as moderate sized farts that had little to no odor. The farts gradually began increasing in magnitude and smell by 10pm they were averaging 7 seconds in length and carried a pungent aroma. By 12am the farts had become gales of putrescent odor that smelled like something produced by a diseased skunk. These ungodly war crimes from my anus continued until about 1am when finally I felt the **** that had been hiding in the dark recesses of my bowel sink into position. I immediately dashed for the nearest toilet and positioned myself for what I knew was going to be a taxing ordeal. I unclenched my sphincter and gently pushed out a few small and gnarled looking chunks of **** . These chunks must have been acting as a sort of plug because they were immediately followed by torrents of liquid feces. The slimy watery **** came out in 5 consecutive waves that issued forth from my anus with the force of a fire hose. The smell that accompanied the brown hydro pumps was so intense I found myself gagging and choking on the now toxic air. When the rushing river of diarrhea had finally run dry I lay back and flushed the toilet. The feeling of relief I had when all was said and done I imagine is akin to birthing a child.
#17 to #15 - killerliquid (05/15/2014) [-]
That...that was quite well written
User avatar #18 to #17 - gibroner (05/15/2014) [-]
poop is my muse
User avatar #20 to #18 - killerliquid (05/15/2014) [-]
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder; the beauty of what was beheld in both your eyes and toilet bowl, was a marvelous story.
#51 - vamprlz (05/15/2014) [-]
<this ******* guy
User avatar #25 - combatplatypus (05/15/2014) [-]
The full version, to the tune of Ode to Joy:

Once I sat here broken hearted
Came to **** but only farted.
Then one day I took a chance
Tried to fart but **** my pants.
But now I sit in solemn bliss
List'ning to the tinkling piss.
Now and then a fart is heard
Followed by a splashing turd.
#22 - avyon (05/15/2014) [-]
hear i sit, taking a 			****		, and having a really rough time.    
i push and push, and strain my tush, but all that i get is green slime.    
I pushed and pushed, but started to contemplate    
Should I finish this dump, or should I masturbate    
i groaned and cowered, shaking a bit, trying so hard not to cry    
if i continue to strain my bowels like this, i'll lose my intestines and die    
as i pushed, my muscles strained, my knuckles began to crack,    
and as i shat, from the water came the god damn splash back.    
my ass now covered with water from this filthy crap filled bowl,    
but i push some more and soon beads of sweat begin to roll.    
So I try as I might, In this fair fight, To take a massive dump    
I finally do it, Hurrah I say! In the water, the crap goes thump    
my intestines spasim, my sphincter aches, and with a mighty shake,    
a rocket turd flys out my ass and causes my toilet to break.    
So on to attempts, I devised a new plan to get the 			****		 out inside    
I used lotion as lube and shoved my fist up, and prepared for a wild ride.    
i pushed and pushed, but nothing came out, groaning i stood on the seat    
i stuck up a finger and dragged out that 			****		, that feeling has made me complete    
but during my caper, i discovered no paper, not one single sheet.    
but i could not linger, so i used my finger, and wiped it on the seat.
hear i sit, taking a **** , and having a really rough time.
i push and push, and strain my tush, but all that i get is green slime.
I pushed and pushed, but started to contemplate
Should I finish this dump, or should I masturbate
i groaned and cowered, shaking a bit, trying so hard not to cry
if i continue to strain my bowels like this, i'll lose my intestines and die
as i pushed, my muscles strained, my knuckles began to crack,
and as i shat, from the water came the god damn splash back.
my ass now covered with water from this filthy crap filled bowl,
but i push some more and soon beads of sweat begin to roll.
So I try as I might, In this fair fight, To take a massive dump
I finally do it, Hurrah I say! In the water, the crap goes thump
my intestines spasim, my sphincter aches, and with a mighty shake,
a rocket turd flys out my ass and causes my toilet to break.
So on to attempts, I devised a new plan to get the **** out inside
I used lotion as lube and shoved my fist up, and prepared for a wild ride.
i pushed and pushed, but nothing came out, groaning i stood on the seat
i stuck up a finger and dragged out that **** , that feeling has made me complete
but during my caper, i discovered no paper, not one single sheet.
but i could not linger, so i used my finger, and wiped it on the seat.
User avatar #26 to #22 - exclamation (05/15/2014) [-]
*heavy metal interlude riff*
User avatar #8 - PenguinsOfMars ONLINE (05/14/2014) [-]
its wheezy f my *****
we **** here my *****
toilet **** poop my *****
***** ***** my *****
User avatar #34 - ohshoot (05/15/2014) [-]
Whenever I take a ****
Sadness comes amass
The poo touches the water
The water touches my ass
#24 - Sneakypeaky (05/15/2014) [-]
Here i sit, same as ever
Took a dump, pulled the lever
Toilet clogged, water flowed
Look out world, its a motherload
#28 to #24 - fuckoffdillweed (05/15/2014) [-]
That's the first thing i thought of, Thank you sir for posting this.
#19 - vanillasmoke (05/15/2014) [-]
some come here to sit and think   
some come here to 			****		 and stink   
but i come here to scratch my balls   
and read the writing on the stalls
some come here to sit and think
some come here to **** and stink
but i come here to scratch my balls
and read the writing on the stalls
#31 - thatguay (05/15/2014) [-]
This was a joke poem made for areas with pay toilets and they slightly modified it:
As I sit here broken hearted
Payed the dime but only farted
Next time I won't take the chance
Save a dime and crap my pants
User avatar #13 - ruebezahl (05/14/2014) [-]
Then back at home,
More of the same:
I had to laugh,
But vomit came.
#41 - BloodAwaits (05/15/2014) [-]
Reposting my own comment for relevance. Found this in the bathroom of my college building.
#2 - leediddy (05/14/2014) [-]
that would fit a censored version of this quite nicely...
User avatar #60 - auntyino ONLINE (05/15/2014) [-]
I read the second bit twice trying to work out how the heck chance and pants rhymed... Then I realised it was written across the seas
User avatar #65 to #60 - jacksipian (05/15/2014) [-]
i don't get it, how do they not rhyme? how is it pronounced where you are?
User avatar #66 to #65 - auntyino ONLINE (05/15/2014) [-]
From southern England so "chaahnce"
User avatar #55 - jokerja (05/15/2014) [-]
I came here to sit and think
You came here to **** and stink
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