The spider, man.. . I wouldn' t be afraid of spiders if I could just talk to them, you know? Me: Oh.. hey ashes. this shearer is occupied Spider: Omg man I didn Spidas be chill
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The spider, man.

I wouldn' t be afraid of spiders if I could just talk
to them, you know?
Me: Oh.. hey ashes. this shearer is occupied
Spider: Omg man I didn' t see we there.
Me: We met?
Spider: Yeah. yeah. we' re ceil- l' coming deem scope eel the
tub.
Me: Ott. that' s legit. Hey, you might wanna move ever ' re
descending right into the shower stream and 1 dent want we to dream.
Spider: Hey thanks. nee. l' ll be careful.
Spider: Sure. sure! Sorry Emmet move over here.
Me: Thanks- We have a nice night. Dent come we my extreem- okay?
Spider: Nah. that' s yew space. were ceil. Have a great evening.
...
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Submitted: 05/05/2014
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User avatar #1 - nuclearnacho ONLINE (05/05/2014) [-]
As opposed to the spiders in my house, who would say
Spider: Hey, pssst. Over here.
Me: What?
Spider: WERE ******* EVERYWHERE. Sleep tight!
me: ._.
#7 to #1 - Rascal (05/06/2014) [-]
spider: hey... psst! hey, over here!
me: ?
spider: can you help me? I need you to get me out the house, your entire family would drown me in the f*cking toilet if they saw me!
me: sure, i'll "escort" you out the window with some paper and you can rappel down the facade with your string, but can you do me a favor in return?
spider: sure sure, what is it?
me: could you kill every single one of those f*cking bugs that piss me off when i'm using the computer?
fly: HEY DUDE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? OH MAN, I LOVE THIS GAME! LOOK! THERE'S A GUY RIGHT THERE! CAN I TRY?!
spider: ... I'll do it slow and painful...
#2 - pleasedontkillme (05/05/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #12 - crazylance (05/06/2014) [-]
And then there's some black widow with a sexy feminine voice trying to seduce you.
User avatar #13 to #12 - naruske ONLINE (05/06/2014) [-]
I'd **** it
#10 - samoaspider ONLINE (05/06/2014) [-]
well ain't that just dandy
User avatar #3 - theoneweirdguy ONLINE (05/05/2014) [-]
actually spiders act in this type of way, they are smart creatures with needs of survival. they will leave you alone if you leave theme alone. treat them respect and they'll help you capture pests.
User avatar #5 to #3 - sexyhimself ONLINE (05/06/2014) [-]
well, if one of those ******* invade my erhem, "cleaning" tim in the shower I drown the ******* with the mighty force of Posseidon
User avatar #4 to #3 - ninjaroo ONLINE (05/06/2014) [-]
I'm not sure what your criteria for "smart" is, but it's significantly lower than mine.
User avatar #11 - flybager (05/06/2014) [-]
I imagine it'd be more
'OH MY ARTHRO, ITS A HUMAN'
User avatar #9 - ieatbengay (05/06/2014) [-]
>implying anyone on tumblr isnt too autistic to talk to anything
#6 - Rascal (05/06/2014) [-]
Assuming they'd speak English?
#8 to #6 - Rascal (05/06/2014) [-]
This hypothetic instance is "if I could talk to them" If OP spoke English and the spider spoke Spanish, this scenario wouldn't exist, he has to be able to talk to the spider.
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