The Worst Customer Ever. /internet+browsing+facts/funny-pictures/4984110/ /One+in+the+hand+is+worth+five+online/funny-pictures/4984843/ /The+mother+daughter+tag
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The Worst Customer Ever

So this story comes last out of the first batch because
people assumed it was going to be worth saving for last.
This takes place under the same company as the
douchebad story, but under a different franchise at a
different location. By this point I had to move back closer
to home for family reasons and could only manage to get a
half sales/ half tech job with the local franchise. Before the
change of stores I was promoted to a management
position so this half assed job was a step down.
The local people were usually good but as the area is full
of bogans (white trash), when they got mad they got
ballistic. This story starts with me filling in for the main tech
while he was off sick
shtanding at the tech counter
braging customer comes up, slaps a noinch monitor in its
box on the counter
gno he wasn' t robbing us, he wanted a refund
gguy has to be on a whole bunch of drugs
knever seen him before but he ism happy to see me
ask for his invoice
ffirst thing I notice is the note details on his invoice
Display model, some scratches and superficial damage,
customer is aware"
monitor sold to him for , it was under cost
ait’ s only a week old, if its cactus he gets his money back
ggo to open the box
forces the box shut with his hand
Alt works fine idiot, its scratched up. I asked for a new
ioffer to get the salesman who sold him the monitor
ttoo late, salesman saw the angry customer and
starts to swear at me again
him I can' t refund it, there' s nothing wrong with it and
he knew what he was buying
ait’ s at this point that I notice that his daughter is standing
there timidly scared by what is going down
yhe starts to tell me to "hurry the **** up and refund the
bby this point in my career I pretty much refuse to talk to
any customer that swears at me
Sir, Id be happy to come to some sort of arrangement
but you’ re going to have to talk to me nicely, If you don' t
stop swearing at me Fm not going to respond to you"
you' ll respond when I ******* tell you to"
asside his invoice back towards him then just stand there
in silence looking right at him
tthe awkward silence starts to get too much for him and
he steps back, clenches his fist and jaw
The ***** your problem man, just give me my money"
mmore awkward silence.
don' t treat me like this infront of my daughter man she
doesn' t need to see this"
him I agree whole heartedly and ask him again to
calm down
don' t tell me what to ******* do"
go completely silent again, stick my hands in my pocket
and just give him an "l don' t give a **** " kind of look.
silence finally tips him over the edge
don' t stare at me like that, that' s a threat and if you’ re
gonna threaten me we can take it outside, III ****** beat
the **** out of you"
finally crack the ***** , tell him to **** himself and say Ill
be back with the store owner
about five levels of management and walk into the
boss' office
Boss, there' s an irate drugged up customer out there
who wants a refund, he just threatened to take me outside
for a fight, if you don' t sort this Fm doing it."
gguy looks big enough to smash me but id get the
afternoon off work
bby this point Fm shaking with anger myself.
aboss laughs at it and heads out
This boss was an oldschool guy, been in the business a
long time. Had been spoken down to by every customer
possible and never backed down from a single threat. But
always finds a solution.
aboss doesn' t stand behind the counter, instead he goes
and stands face to face with the rage machine
gguy gets all up in the bosses face.
aboss puts his hand up and says "step back, lower your
voice, and talk to me in a normal tone"
tthe guy recognises the lack of fear in the boss and
seems to calm down
the boss he is calling the Consumer Affairs line and
reporting the store
pulls his mobile phone out, flicks through it and
finds a number
yhere you go, give them a call. But for legitimate claims it
costs to lodge the case
calls the customers bluff.
shaniac decides to change to topic off Consumer Affairs
and back onto me
this piece of **** threatened mel"
did you threaten him Trips?"
the boss I refused to talk to him because of his
language and he took my silence as a threat
aboss says to the customer "how is that a threat? Are you
scared of silence?"
aadd "maybe that' s why he is so loud”
bset the customer off again.
By this point several customers have stopped to watch.
Most of the staff have backed away, except for the cashier
who is a few meters away and can' t go anywhere
aout of the blue the boss agrees to give the customer a
store credit, under certain conditions
yhe can' t spend it today and has to go home and calm
we ism allowed to talk to anyone but the boss for the
oonce that money is spent instore again he is banned from
the store
we agrees but he is still pissed
shigure Fm off the hook and won' t have deal with him
aboss hands me the paperwork
Trips will fill out your instore credit paperwork for you,
have a nice day"
aas soon as the boss is out of sight the raging asshole
starts going off worse than before, but quieter
battle axe of a woman printing photos nearby steps
tthis lady looks like she' s gonna punch on
you could breed emotion, this woman was born from
stubborn and mentally unstable
sshe pushes the angry guy on the chest
shut your mouth will you? I shouldn' t have to hear your
******** while Fm printing my photos. These people are
good people and don' t need it either. And how dare you
act like that infront of your daughter"
angry guy is stunned,
Am stunned
eyes start to water, she can' t handle the stress
sure if a full blown fight is about to take place
think the lady would win though
aanother moment of silence, this the guy looks more
scared than angry.
what paperwork We done so far and quickly tell the
guy to come with me to the checkout to finalise the store
the lady thanks and give her an appreciative nod
Fm at the counter filling out the last few pieces of
info I lean forward to write on the counter
gguy gets right up into my ear, inches away from me
astards poking me with his finger
hope you like living on centerlink (welfare) cause Fm
telling all my friends not to shop here, this place will go
broke and you and all your cunt little friends will lose their
is now full blown crying and shaking
continues his rant, keeps poking me
sir don' t touch me"
sir I said keep your hand off me"
A try to block out as much as I can,
aif I get this done he is gone, I can go have a coffee, take
a **** , and try to calm myself down
karma is real, this guy should have ball cancer any
minute now.
tthen he says something and I just snapped
we shoved me a little harder than before
me " you’ re lucky III go easy on you when I flog
you after work"
my fists on the counter
back n lets out a little squeal
gget right up in the customers face with his invoice in my
ppoint to his details on the invoice
yhis name, phone number, and his address
The difference between me and you? is I know where
YOU live"
his invoice from my hand, grabs his daughter
and takes off
istant there in silence for a while, raging, shaking, not
sure if my legs work
xsaberman snaps me back to consciousness
hoey **** bro, that was nuts"
lady from before is holding the cashier against her
giant bosom for comfort
sshe seems to have relaxed back to a gentle sob
ttell the salesman I' m havin a break and head to the
I quit about two weeks later over a minor
disagreement with the boss, told him Ijust didn' t want to
work in retail or IT or anywhere with customers anymore,
specially not for a **** wage. I still don' t know exactly why
that guy came in so angry straight off the bat, maybe he
thought that would move things along faster, maybe he was
jacked up on coke or something. I kept that asshole' s
address and still know it now (four years later) but after a
few weeks decided that burning his house down, or
unzipping his couch cushions and taking a dump inside the
covers probably wasn' t worth the risk. Either way after a
little while offa ended up working for myself, howl choose
my customers, take on whatever kind of work I want, and
don' t have to put up with anyone' s **** . I guess I have that
prolapsed asshole to thank for making me step out of a ****
This is the last of the five stories that I offered to tell but
there will be others.
HI probably tell everyone the incident that stopped me
searching through peoples dirty folders next, bring it back to
funny, cause this clearly wasn' t
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Views: 115059
Favorited: 394
Submitted: 01/23/2014
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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #259 - tripscausedthis ONLINE (01/23/2014) [+] (10 replies)
stickied by tripscausedthis
#25 - betta (01/23/2014) [-]
The whole time, I thought something like this was going to happen.
#44 - johnthemate (01/23/2014) [-]
the best part of the story is this moment right here.
#390 to #44 - anon (01/23/2014) [-]
**anonymous rolled user friendlynuke **
User avatar #391 to #390 - friendlynuke (01/23/2014) [-]
anons r soooooo gross
User avatar #344 to #44 - timoyr (01/23/2014) [-]
I feel like that is something Walter White would say.
#282 to #44 - daffyduckyo (01/23/2014) [-]
#228 to #44 - mrsonic (01/23/2014) [-]
This is what instantly came to my mind.
User avatar #115 to #44 - umjamlam (01/23/2014) [-]
It honest to God felt good reading that.

Like a breath of fresh air after piles of waffle.
#39 - locoargentine (01/23/2014) [-]
I lost my 			****		 right here   
>if karma is real, this guy should have ball cancer any minute now
I lost my **** right here
>if karma is real, this guy should have ball cancer any minute now
#73 - lionti (01/23/2014) [-]
Oh my god, why am I shaking? this didn't even happen to me...
Oh my god, why am I shaking? this didn't even happen to me...
#58 - sasha (01/23/2014) [-]
>Mfw story time is over
>Mfw story time is over
#189 to #58 - legitimately (01/23/2014) [-]
Hush, little one, there shall be more.
Hush, little one, there shall be more.
#251 to #189 - sasha (01/23/2014) [-]
User avatar #335 to #251 - legitimately (01/23/2014) [-]
Mind dumping your Sasha folder for me? I need more of her
#410 to #335 - sasha (01/24/2014) [-]
Sorry to say but I don't have much. I'm trying to edit some pictures and gifs and put her on iI'll give you my favorite.
Sorry to say but I don't have much. I'm trying to edit some pictures and gifs and put her on iI'll give you my favorite.
User avatar #23 - somebee (01/23/2014) [-]
>I know where you live

****** A, 10/10 would schadenfreude again
User avatar #116 to #23 - umjamlam (01/23/2014) [-]
Schadenfreude is a German word meaning taking pleasure in another being's suffering and/or death.

I felt like that needed to be clarified.
User avatar #234 to #116 - betta (01/23/2014) [-]
Thank you.
User avatar #130 to #23 - kirkbot (01/23/2014) [-]
so you could say... you feel Vorfreude to your next Schadenfreude
User avatar #231 - tripscausedthis ONLINE (01/23/2014) [-]
It's been a long day and I'm ******* shattered right now, but if I can find it in me to boil the kettle and make some coffee you joyous ************* will find out why I don't look through customers personal stuff anymore.
#248 to #231 - testaburger has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #256 to #231 - moevleboevle (01/23/2014) [-]
I can't wait!
User avatar #260 to #231 - xxxherfaultxxx (01/23/2014) [-]
reaaaaally looking forward to this
User avatar #263 to #261 - xxxherfaultxxx (01/23/2014) [-]
#257 to #231 - thumbsalad (01/23/2014) [-]
Whenever I read these, I can always imagine it being in a Perth southern suburb.

Bogan central, man.
#306 to #257 - anon (01/23/2014) [-]
from some of the things he's said in his stories i get the idea that he lives somewhere around rural nsw or qld, but i could totally see just about every story he's told happening in rockingham
User avatar #233 to #231 - zhank (01/23/2014) [-]
Thank you
User avatar #235 to #231 - jibb (01/23/2014) [-]
Yes pleease
#162 - baconbiscuits (01/23/2014) [-]
I work in an emergency room at the front desk when you first walk in. My job is relations and "first respondent" in helping emergencies. This was the day I nearly quit.

>Start 7am shift to an empty waiting room except for 1 old lady
>I spoke with her for a while and she was sweet as could be
>Werthers in the purse kinda sweet
>3 hours later woman comes rushing in looking super pissed
>Rushes to back doors and jerks on them
>Ask "Can I help you, ma'am?"
>She doesn't like that
>"Open the ******* doors!"
>Nay says I. Never seen this bitch before, she could be about to Columbine the place.
>"Who are you looking for?"
>She goes off saying she "knows" he's' back there, etc and I "will open the doors"
>I don't. She doesn't like that either. Begins swearing so filthily it makes me look like I use Orbit.
>"Ma'am, you don't have to be rude to me. I'm trying to help you."
>I thought she had already lost her **** . No. NOW: she lost her **** ...
#221 to #162 - accalia has deleted their comment [-]
#166 to #162 - baconbiscuits (01/23/2014) [-]
>She rushes to my desk and slams her hands on it getting in my face
>Nurses, registration, janitors all watching **** storm ensue
>"I only asked who you were loo-"
>By this point the nursing supervisor from down the hall heard and had arrived asking what was wrong
>Lady goes off about how I harassed her, gave her attitude, cussed her out, and essentially reversed the rolls and victimized herself
>I stood there in silence as did all who witnessed
>Lady demands I be dealt with right now and she's not leaving til I'm fired
>Supervisor manages to lead her away assuring I'd be "dealt with."
>However, she immediately started more **** with an entire floor of nurses because she didn't like the food
>Apparently she got so bad they escorted her out, wooooooot

The part that pissed me off most was they catered to her. She acted like that and nothing was said to her, she was allowed to behave in such a manner. I was red and shaking with anger after the ordeal to the point the ER staff thought I was going to have a heart attack. However, the Werthers grandma came up to me, looked me square in the eyes, and hugged me. I cried like a bitch. Not because of the situation, but because after witnessing what I consider to be a terrible act of human behavior, I could turn around to one I'll never forget.

"I've only known you for 3 hours and I can tell you that nothing she said about you is at all true. You are wonderful." And she gave me a Werthers. Gotta love grandmas.

#174 to #166 - terrorproof ONLINE (01/23/2014) [-]
I would've cried like a bitch too...
#211 to #166 - anon (01/23/2014) [-]
man i used to work as a glassy at a nightclub and some really annoying **** goes on there. i had one guy ghost me while i had a full rack, which is around 100-200 glasses. for those unfamiliar with the term ghosting is when you follow someone very closely and look away/stop when they turn around like boo.

i told this guy that he would back the **** off if he knew what was good for him. perhaps it was worded pretty threateningly but he could have been seriously injured ******* around like that. he complained to my manager and i got reprimanded and he got a free drink. another time a customer told me a drink was done so i took it and his friend grabbed the back of my shirt and accidentally got some of my ******* skin with a "what the **** are you doing?".

i basically threw his glass at him and it spilled a bit (if you are a glassy you get what can only be described as balance superpowers so when i threw it at his hand it stayed upright and sloshed out the sides)

drunk people suck.
User avatar #230 to #211 - fgtometer (01/23/2014) [-]
Working in nightclubs seems outrageously unpleasant. I was performing in one a few months ago, got kicked, pushed and harassed nearly constantly.
#214 to #211 - anon (01/23/2014) [-]
most of the time they are pretty good with it though, they generally just give out free drinks if anything or anyone ***** up because they make a lot of money anyway. if you want free drinks make friends with your glassy btw, because all they need to say is that they took your drink and it wasn't finished yet and you get a free one.
User avatar #370 to #166 - drinktogetdrunk ONLINE (01/23/2014) [-]
Wait, but how did she get in if you refused to open the doors?
#438 to #370 - baconbiscuits (01/24/2014) [-]
She didn't. The person she was looking for was brought in the night before and she had went home, when she back the next morning she wanted back in but I had no clue who she was and feared she could be someone out to shoot a Dr or nurse or something.

Since she wouldn't tell me who she was there for I couldn't help her. The nursing supervisor helped her find the correct floor and that's when that other trouble went down.

We get stuff like this often. I get calls on a random basis: "I haven't seen my son/daughter in about 5 days. Are they there by any chance?" People are crazy.

I love all the stories posted on FJ recently cause I like hearing the different life experiences of other people.
#338 - skydiving (01/23/2014) [-]
Never work in tech... ever.
User avatar #359 to #338 - vgmddg ONLINE (01/23/2014) [-]
*Customer service
People are like that no matter what business you're in.
#131 - heeveejeevees (01/23/2014) [-]
if you still have their address, you can send them 			****		 every week.
if you still have their address, you can send them **** every week.
#144 to #131 - bigredtomato (01/23/2014) [-]
That... is my new favorite payback site. I thank you!
#207 to #131 - macbookfan (01/23/2014) [-]
That is a ******* genius business idea!
#353 to #131 - kanaka (01/23/2014) [-]
That's some good 			****
That's some good ****
User avatar #408 to #131 - hammarhead (01/24/2014) [-]
that is beautiful.
#91 - gentlememe (01/23/2014) [-]
Post his address OP
Post his address OP
User avatar #269 to #91 - cacti (01/23/2014) [-]
Remember that the guy has a daughter. A daughter that he probably abuses So doing anything to that guy would probably affect her as well. Plus that huge cunt has most likely already ruined his life (Which explains his douchebag behavior). Just letting him screw up his relationship with everyone around him and watching him slowly suffer would be good enough.
User avatar #124 to #91 - tentaquil (01/23/2014) [-]
Then we shall put pineapples in his house
User avatar #170 to #124 - folkflunky (01/23/2014) [-]
And dragon dildos.
User avatar #182 to #170 - popnotes (01/23/2014) [-]
Too expensive.

Just a gallon drum of cum lube.
User avatar #183 to #182 - folkflunky (01/23/2014) [-]
If you're gonna pull off something like this or you do it for cereal real or you don't.
User avatar #185 to #183 - popnotes (01/23/2014) [-]
How about a gallon drum of SUGAR FREE GUMMY BEARS
User avatar #188 to #185 - folkflunky (01/23/2014) [-]
R.I.P in pieces "The son of a bitch that complained's asshole"
User avatar #173 to #170 - skilletpanhead (01/23/2014) [-]
And the severed heads of his loved ones.
User avatar #175 to #173 - folkflunky (01/23/2014) [-]
And the corpse of his daughter with each limb dismembered.
User avatar #177 to #175 - skilletpanhead (01/23/2014) [-]
And his own penis.
User avatar #178 to #177 - folkflunky (01/23/2014) [-]
And his own severed head.
User avatar #179 to #178 - skilletpanhead (01/23/2014) [-]
And OP's severed ear. Because he loves him.
User avatar #180 to #179 - folkflunky (01/23/2014) [-]
And a bag of 5lb of Haribo Sugarless Gummy Bears.
User avatar #186 to #180 - popnotes (01/23/2014) [-]
******* damn it you beat me
User avatar #181 to #180 - skilletpanhead (01/23/2014) [-]
And the resulting **** .
User avatar #184 to #181 - folkflunky (01/23/2014) [-]
Call peanutbitter.
Tell him he has to do his nation a favour.
#192 to #184 - skilletpanhead (01/23/2014) [-]
#203 to #201 - skilletpanhead (01/23/2014) [-]
Oh, hell no.
#204 to #203 - folkflunky (01/23/2014) [-]
I made fun of enough kids with leukemia to know I'm gonna meet him.
#208 to #204 - skilletpanhead (01/23/2014) [-]
I actually made fun of a blind kid once. No one talked to me for a week.
User avatar #209 to #208 - folkflunky (01/23/2014) [-]
If you get there first... get some beer and Doritos for when I arrive.
#215 to #204 - skilletpanhead (01/23/2014) [-]
Hell, yeah. Never met anyone from the Ukraine before. I'll be sure to save some.
User avatar #217 to #215 - folkflunky (01/23/2014) [-]
Glad to be your first one. No homo.
User avatar #210 to #204 - skilletpanhead (01/23/2014) [-]
Reached the reply limit.

I'll save you a mountain of THE MOST AMERICAN DRINK OF THEM ALL.

You need to login to view this link
#216 to #210 - terrorproof ONLINE (01/23/2014) [-]
User avatar #212 to #210 - folkflunky (01/23/2014) [-]
I'm from Ukraine so if you really want to make a national drink then just get about 500 bottles of vodka, they should last 5 days.
User avatar #195 to #194 - folkflunky (01/23/2014) [-]
I swer on me mum if I get banned for this...
#68 - mattdoggy (01/23/2014) [-]
You are doing Gods work OP, may your future careers speed you to calmer paths   
 i know what it's like being in retail and dealing with those things (i can't call them people)
You are doing Gods work OP, may your future careers speed you to calmer paths
i know what it's like being in retail and dealing with those things (i can't call them people)
User avatar #72 to #68 - SilverBullet (01/23/2014) [-]
I know your pain, my friend. I worked at Walmart for 3 years. I just call them trash.
User avatar #125 to #68 - thesinful (01/23/2014) [-]
Not retail but 5 years at McDonald's. Though I did love what one manager did after a **** day and having to deal with a raging asshole of a customer.

Manager: *Reaches into pocket* "Sir, let's not resort to violence. Otherwise-" *Pulls out knife* "I will **** you up."

Officially, no one was allowed to have any sort of weapon in the store. Unofficially, only new people and a few others didn't carry a knife or box cutter. Made a fair bit of change sharpening knives for people.
#18 - lordofarms (01/23/2014) [-]
Thanks for another great story, Mr.Trips
#402 - comeherekids (01/24/2014) [-]
Nothing's gonna beat this line.
#67 - puredeliciousness (01/23/2014) [-]
These stories...
User avatar #223 - jinxbomb (01/23/2014) [-]
>taking a dump inside the couch cushions

that's ******* genius
#43 - monkeybrains (01/23/2014) [-]
That I know where you live even just in text sounds intimidating as 			****		.
That I know where you live even just in text sounds intimidating as **** .
#363 - handsomelegend ONLINE (01/23/2014) [-]
I have to say man I have been waiting with anticipation to read all of your stories. Others might disagree but I give you a 10/10 on all of these stories. I have absolutely enjoyed them.
I have to say man I have been waiting with anticipation to read all of your stories. Others might disagree but I give you a 10/10 on all of these stories. I have absolutely enjoyed them.
#59 - bunkerman (01/23/2014) [-]
Seriously though, I'm loving these. You're my one sub on this site. Kudos to you.
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