Teamwork. .. One of the less posted D&D stories. DnD parties
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Comments(152):

[ 152 comments ]
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#19 - justabass (03/23/2014) [-]
One of the less posted D&D stories.
User avatar #47 to #19 - anonymousattorney (03/23/2014) [-]
Sounds like my kind of character.
#56 to #47 - liolo ONLINE (03/23/2014) [-]
What about
EDGUARDO?
User avatar #120 to #56 - daix ONLINE (03/23/2014) [-]
Is this from a RP game website or something? I want to play that game now!
#119 to #56 - valetparking (03/23/2014) [-]
#worththeread
#worththeread
#76 to #56 - firesnake (03/23/2014) [-]
Perfect
Perfect
User avatar #137 to #56 - sabertoothmoose (03/23/2014) [-]
that was... beatuiful
#123 to #56 - magmaseraph (03/23/2014) [-]
This is probably the manliest thing I've read all day!

Where do you guys get this stuff from?
User avatar #61 to #56 - theshadowed (03/23/2014) [-]
Oh **** thats glorious
#159 to #56 - darrensankari (03/23/2014) [-]
This rivals even the story of EB, the glorious Irish bastard.
User avatar #158 to #56 - hierophant (03/23/2014) [-]
I'm sorry Crows, you are a funny green text story and all...but this takes the cake and eats it too.
#157 to #56 - randomanonaccount (03/23/2014) [-]
That ******* glorious bastard.

Speaking of which, is there or could there be similar RP here on funnyjunk? I'm sure there'd be lots of people interested in it
#156 to #56 - CptSoapMacTavish (03/23/2014) [-]
That was 			*******		 glorious.
That was ******* glorious.
#22 - zomaru (03/23/2014) [-]
Once had a DM who was fed up with a player, so he set up a trap and when it triggered he threw his entire bag of dice on the table and said a fireball hits you for this much damage.
The result was well over 150, which we agreed was a Nuclear blast.
Unfortunately, Our mage was quick enough to throw up a fire Barrier just in time and we ended up the sole survivors of the city of Belthrogaurd.
#25 to #22 - nibbero (03/23/2014) [-]
Take this
User avatar #30 to #22 - timelordjam (03/23/2014) [-]
wanna rp some day?
#34 to #30 - zomaru (03/23/2014) [-]
I have left RPing for life, for reasons relating to the same DM.
User avatar #36 to #34 - timelordjam (03/23/2014) [-]
damn...i cant seem to get a group together
User avatar #37 to #36 - zomaru (03/23/2014) [-]
A mod I knew called sinery dabbled in RP at one point. Try him.
0
#39 to #37 - zomaru has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #38 to #37 - timelordjam (03/23/2014) [-]
SINERY GET YO ASS HERE NOW plz?
User avatar #40 to #38 - zomaru (03/23/2014) [-]
Perhaps a different spelling, Its been awhile. Check a mod list or something.
User avatar #41 to #40 - timelordjam (03/23/2014) [-]
I guess he might not be online right now though. I remember seeing a few of sinerys posts
User avatar #42 to #41 - timelordjam (03/23/2014) [-]
damn i feel bad for sinery, logging in to see all of these notifications but its all just one conversation
User avatar #43 to #42 - timelordjam (03/23/2014) [-]
sinery
#52 to #51 - timelordjam (03/23/2014) [-]
amazingly relevant
User avatar #54 to #52 - sinery (03/23/2014) [-]
Yep, I did a RP once, it crashed after like 3 parts and I got myself kicked from the board.
7/10 overall experience.
User avatar #53 to #52 - timelordjam (03/23/2014) [-]
also good timing. my mouse was hovering over my shut down button
User avatar #58 to #22 - ilovetocuddle (03/23/2014) [-]
I don't understand how you play something like that, like sneakily killing other players and stuff.
Never played dnd, post sounds like itd be fun.
User avatar #59 to #58 - bendeman ONLINE (03/23/2014) [-]
It happens often enough there's a term coined for it
1d4chan.org/wiki/Rocks_fall,_everyone_dies
#74 to #59 - ilovetocuddle (03/23/2014) [-]
So beyond lost. feels bad man, risk is simple. **** on people gg
User avatar #75 to #74 - bendeman ONLINE (03/23/2014) [-]
think of it like your standard RPG game, but the narrator is another person out to get your ass.
User avatar #81 to #75 - ilovetocuddle (03/23/2014) [-]
How would that work in a board game though, like online i understand. but in person?
User avatar #82 to #81 - bendeman ONLINE (03/23/2014) [-]
Think like in fallout/Elder Scrolls, there are % chances for things based on your stats? People instead roll a die to determine success/failure instead of the program. Dialogue is done by the players and the narrator(for NPC's). Basically all the hidden numbers and RNG for various vidya games is instead laid bare for the player to work with directily.
User avatar #95 to #82 - ilovetocuddle (03/23/2014) [-]
i understand that, I don't get the sneaky backstabing and such
User avatar #129 to #95 - lexivex ONLINE (03/23/2014) [-]
Like, why they do it, or how they do it?
#121 to #95 - anon (03/23/2014) [-]
try watching some of the celebrities pax D&D games, it will make it easier to understand
#97 to #95 - bendeman ONLINE (03/23/2014) [-]
People are people. We get each other angry like it's a game, and everyone knows revenge tastes delicious
#49 - ComradeBritish (03/23/2014) [-]
A personal favorite.
#55 to #49 - squiblles (03/23/2014) [-]
that's just amazing... I don't even have a pic good enough to reply with. so here's a thumb and a cute pic of natalia poklonskaya for you.
#60 to #49 - bendeman ONLINE (03/23/2014) [-]
Another favorite
User avatar #1 - rikter (03/22/2014) [-]
Three of them aren't raping something while one is bitching about the rest not RPing properly and one is playing with their phone.
User avatar #4 to #1 - AbsentMinded (03/22/2014) [-]
Oh god, have you been watching my group?
User avatar #5 to #4 - rikter (03/22/2014) [-]
Yes. With binoculars.
User avatar #6 to #5 - AbsentMinded (03/22/2014) [-]
That's seriously uncanny.
User avatar #7 to #6 - rikter (03/22/2014) [-]
Do you also have a person who plays an alcoholic dwarf who is afraid of everything magical?
User avatar #8 to #7 - AbsentMinded (03/22/2014) [-]
Nah but we have a Dwarf with PTSD and A Dragonborn who hates magic and dragons.
User avatar #160 to #8 - smallsikndchild (03/23/2014) [-]
We had a Dwarf that would **** and piss on himself whenever he wasn't trying to find his cat "Superkiddlycuddlykins"
User avatar #9 to #8 - rikter (03/22/2014) [-]
I have a friend who wants his first character to be undead.
User avatar #10 to #9 - AbsentMinded (03/22/2014) [-]
We have a goblin who thinks hes human, a pansexual wizard, a dragonborn ex slut.


And yeah our dwarf is undead as of last game.
User avatar #23 to #10 - aangbingo (03/23/2014) [-]
We have an Orc Barbarian with a mecha (Don't ask) who insists on killing everything that isn't plot related, an Okami Wizard who spends more time reading books than actually helping and spends 10 hours for every action, a Kitsune Fighter whose primary concern is getting ****** by strangers and killing civilians, a Draconian Bard (our party leader) who ***** every female character we come across, and dreams of become a pokemon breeder, and finally me, a Kong Cleric whose alignment shifts frequently (be it throwing acid flasks at a group of children, or helping an old lady cross the road)
User avatar #63 to #23 - klina ONLINE (03/23/2014) [-]
a Kitsune Fighter whose primary concern is getting ****** by strangers and killing civilians

I lol'd so hard I got a hernia
User avatar #29 to #23 - AbsentMinded (03/23/2014) [-]
I like that idea, it's like your guy is bi-polar or something.

I play charming promiscuous half-elf bastard wizard.
User avatar #11 to #10 - rikter (03/22/2014) [-]
Undeads are fine, but not as first character. And not straight from the get-go.
User avatar #12 to #11 - AbsentMinded (03/22/2014) [-]
He was crushed by a dragon and brought back to life by a beaten necromancer.
The guy playing him really gets into it, has occasional pts attacks during fights.
User avatar #13 to #12 - rikter (03/22/2014) [-]
That's nice.
User avatar #50 - pokemonstheshiz ONLINE (03/23/2014) [-]
Last time I played D&D, I had my character take on an apprentice. I was going to teach him magic, but I ended up only having time to teach him how to conjure a rabbit. Towards the end of the campaign, I nat 20'd for him casting a spell and he made a giant bunny that led our way to freedom.
#132 - fadetometallica (03/23/2014) [-]
I feel this should be posted on every post like this.
#139 to #132 - bobafettsav (03/23/2014) [-]
normally i always read 			****		, but this is tl:dr
normally i always read **** , but this is tl:dr
#162 to #132 - anon (03/23/2014) [-]
-Edgardo punches xer0- i like to think this is that moment of truth as edgardo broke everything. OVER FLOWING SPIRIT!
-Edgardo punches xer0- i like to think this is that moment of truth as edgardo broke everything. OVER FLOWING SPIRIT!
#154 to #132 - plokix (03/23/2014) [-]
Edgardo's punch while infinte spirit.
Edgardo's punch while infinte spirit.
#161 to #132 - anon (03/23/2014) [-]
A hero was born that day, never forget their sacrifice.
User avatar #32 - feelythefeel (03/23/2014) [-]
We once had a Dwarf in our group who, rather predictably, was head over heels for explosives. Yet every time he used them, he would fail just spectacularly enough to be useful. He tries to jerry-rig a grenade out of gun-powder and a potato? He critically fails and blows up, then rolls a natural twenty on the save and ends up breaking a wall to let out the water from the water elemental cave.

Laughs were had.
#44 to #32 - chiluzza (03/23/2014) [-]
The best moments are always the critical fails and sometimes the critical successes (if you House rule that nat 20s on ability usage counts as a crit)

Favorites ones for me from my dnd group:

Me playing a grapple mage (look it up its pretty fun to play and if you play with min/maxers it'll put them in their place) trying to buy time for my group to escpae from a patrol. i stand in front of them roll intimidate yell at the patrol after us "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM" apparently they did because they literally shat themselves and ran off.

And then during that same game our rogue betrays us stabs our cleric in the back and starts to absconds, forgets about his trap he set, and when he rolls for his Balance (we were in a collapsed temple) rolls a nat 1 trips it and blows himself uip.





User avatar #46 to #44 - feelythefeel (03/23/2014) [-]
In another campaign I decided to roll a Necromancer Cleric build. It was a bad idea because it sucked hard. The game started out in a slaver ship and we were all cuffed and locked in different rooms. By the time I get out of my cuffs, everyone else has broken out and started kicking ass. After wailing at the door a bit, I decide I don't value the life of this character any more. I propose to the DM that for the rest of the encounter I roll a d20, and if I critically fail once I blow up, die, and take a chunk of the ship with me. If I don't, I use a new DBZ-esque power beam to break out.

Let's just say that at the end of the day there was one more Necromancer in the world with a Demon's Corpse Cannon.
#24 - nozombiesman (03/23/2014) [-]
I was playing D&D a couple a weeks ago; we make fun of this one area called the Ogrefist Hills, we call it the Ogrefisting hills.  Long story short grandmas were fisted and werewolf 			****		 was punched and thrown.
I was playing D&D a couple a weeks ago; we make fun of this one area called the Ogrefist Hills, we call it the Ogrefisting hills. Long story short grandmas were fisted and werewolf **** was punched and thrown.
#2 - anon (03/22/2014) [-]
Really? We always start silly and get serious. I suggest you start with light on plot quests that anyone could do, then move into the bigger hero bit. Seems to work for us.
User avatar #3 to #2 - corvah (03/22/2014) [-]
We tried a serious story, but eventually ended up killing eachother in humerous ways, starting illegal drug operations and beating up midgets
User avatar #20 to #3 - dongers (03/23/2014) [-]
lol, what happened with my group when the dm tried to do a serious campaign was the group ended up owning a lich city in their own dimension constantly farming unlimited wishes for free automatically by spawning and kill all dragons (originally just gold dragons, then annoying paladins showed up claiming gold dragons are good, they stopped comming by when we killed all dragon types evenly)
#79 - zekeon ONLINE (03/23/2014) [-]
One I was playing as a ninja in pathfinder.

We had just started the game and we were fighting this skeleton samurai thing, when a mute priest who showed up blessed a sword and turned it into a fiery sword. So she hands it to our fighter who doesn't like little swords so I tell her to throw it to me.

I roll a 20, so I catch the sword with a flourish, grip it with both hands, and swing.

I roll a 1.

I swung it so hard it fell out of my hand and got stuck in the ground.

>mfw
#125 - thewisedane (03/23/2014) [-]
Oh dear here we go. I have many of these, so just ask if you want more.   
   
> Playing with my group of 5 years and so - just got our old GM back to play the very first game we ever played - Iron Kingdoms, MKii this time.     
> Campaign were based around exploration and travel, and our groups would have a smaller mansion in teh outskirts of Caspia, the largest city in universe.    
> Knows a lot about the universe through the wargame, and so decides to play warcaster/arcane mechanik (Warcaster being battle mages who can mindbond with warmachine called warjacks and arcane mechanik being the dudes who repair said machines).   
> Rest of the group is stabhappy aristocrat diplomat, dwarf sorcerer gunmage, diplomat's cousin, grumpy menite shieldmaiden and sneaky alcemist.   
> Get a job offer by the two aristocrats, go to some rich dude's palace.   
> Wants us to find some liquid in a temple in a jungle on some random southern island.   
> Lots of money.   
> All agree.   
> Take off on a boat sometime the next day.   
> A voyage with some pirate attacks later, we end up on the island.   
> Place is 			******		 up, clearly Devour Wurm 			****		 - GM love druids, so only natural.   
> Like we care, there are money in this.   
> We get through well enough anyway.   
> Finds pretty flowers, cow sized and other stuff - dwarf takes one as a souvenir.   
Cont.
Oh dear here we go. I have many of these, so just ask if you want more.

> Playing with my group of 5 years and so - just got our old GM back to play the very first game we ever played - Iron Kingdoms, MKii this time.
> Campaign were based around exploration and travel, and our groups would have a smaller mansion in teh outskirts of Caspia, the largest city in universe.
> Knows a lot about the universe through the wargame, and so decides to play warcaster/arcane mechanik (Warcaster being battle mages who can mindbond with warmachine called warjacks and arcane mechanik being the dudes who repair said machines).
> Rest of the group is stabhappy aristocrat diplomat, dwarf sorcerer gunmage, diplomat's cousin, grumpy menite shieldmaiden and sneaky alcemist.
> Get a job offer by the two aristocrats, go to some rich dude's palace.
> Wants us to find some liquid in a temple in a jungle on some random southern island.
> Lots of money.
> All agree.
> Take off on a boat sometime the next day.
> A voyage with some pirate attacks later, we end up on the island.
> Place is ****** up, clearly Devour Wurm **** - GM love druids, so only natural.
> Like we care, there are money in this.
> We get through well enough anyway.
> Finds pretty flowers, cow sized and other stuff - dwarf takes one as a souvenir.
Cont.
User avatar #126 to #125 - thewisedane (03/23/2014) [-]
> Find delicious fruits.
> We all pick one and start eating.
> "Roll for willpower"
> " **** "
> Everybody else succeeds.
> The mighty, heroic warcaster fails.
> Falls asleep.
> Turns out GM had planned fun, rules we all go asleep.
> Someone awakens, finds out that the fruits have tiny worms in them.
> Problem is, they feed on flesh.
> Fast.
> My character finally snaps and pukes.
> Longass snakesized worm comes up.
> We kill it.
> To this day, my character is still suspectible to Devour Wurm shenigans.
> To this day, the dwarf still carries a fruit with him to annoy me.
> MFW.

There are more where this came from, write if you want more
#78 - givememoarpony (03/23/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
#140 to #78 - dalekemporer (03/23/2014) [-]
"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"
#122 - smallsikndchild (03/23/2014) [-]
Playing a game called Sertorius. It's new and was written by a friend of a friend. the point of this game is to gain followers and to cement your status as a god. i got my first 12 followers, who were big burly fishermen, and i told them harass an inn so i could take off their business. i went inside to make an offer ,which was obviously turned down, and came outside to my followers huddled around a pool of blood. turns out they decided to pick on the wrong guy and he fought back. so they bludgeoned him to death with large fishing hooks. a little kid saw so they chased him down and knocked him out. they tide him up and tossed him into the ocean. THEN a group of guards come along and ask about the blood and the screams. one said he dropped a bucket of chum and the other one stubbed his toe against a wall..... needless to say i was put in prison because they were my disciples acting on my "Orders" and they were all sentenced to death. I had poured my newly acquired spell(you get more spells the more followers you get) into my shirt. It made it so anyone in my presence would be afraid of me. So i ruled the prison with a harem of men and an iron fist.
#127 - Funnyfagget (03/23/2014) [-]
>Be in Highschool
>Playing modified version of D&D with less rules (Inb4 go hard or go home)
>Start off in a Tavern, extremely original
>One thing leads to another and we're fighting a jacked midget who owns the Tavern
> ****** has 600 health and has a hold of my arms
>Use Charisma to convince him to stop
>It fails
>Says he's going to tie my arms in a pretzel
>Use Charisma again to call his bluff
>It works
>Throws me into the ceiling instead
>Other teammates are getting the **** kicked out of them while i'm stuck in the ceiling
>Break free and pile drive him (like that American Dad episode where roger joins the police force)
>Gain 1000 xp for killing this son of a bitch
>Jump from level 1 to 15
>Max out strength
>I now have 21 strength
>People of the bar suddenly turn into shapeshifting gator people
>DM rolls for how much he's going to add for his rolls
>Rolls a 1
>MFW I'm stronger than the DM
>MFW DM doesn't even bother rolling for the rest of the session
>MFW haven't played D&D since -- this is my first D&D story so please have mercy on me

User avatar #144 to #127 - bloorajah (03/23/2014) [-]
that sounds like more of a ****** DM issue.
#64 - warlordstuart (03/23/2014) [-]
posted this a couple times. I think its decent though. Will be willing to post more of adventure if people want.   
   
>Play Pokemon Tabletop    
>Fanmade game. Basically Pokemon Dungeons and Dragons.    
>Not perfect, but we enjoyed it. Wife plays capture specialist, other friends play breeder, martial artist, and ace trainer.    
>I always have been fascinated by psychics. Played psychics in yugioh, played a psion in classic D&D, etc (if there is a psychic character, i nab it)    
>Due to game mechanics, trainers (especially psychics) are really strong in the beginning of the game but even out as you level up. the prestige classes are pretty cool, your basically a human that can learn a variety of pokemon moves.    
>Make psychic. Kid from poor part of Pallet town named Gray (trainers are named after colors, right?)   
   
>Game goes on, fun times. First 5-8 levels or so my character is pretty cool.    
>We run into main villains. Somehow they have shadow powers (powers not in the book)    
>These powers basically give the trainers the Dark Type. So I'm useless against them.    
>No problem. Take prestige class that lets me fly and get flying type and electric moves.    
>Suddenly the bad guys start wearing armor made from pikachu that make them completely immune to electric attacks.    
>ok. Getting annoyed but whatever, I can fly.    
>Later, my character manages to get some shadow powers. He has the dark typing, I got sick of taking massive damage from their spammy Dark Pulses    
   
>MFW the DM sends Black Belts, Martial Artists, and Ninjas at us.
posted this a couple times. I think its decent though. Will be willing to post more of adventure if people want.

>Play Pokemon Tabletop
>Fanmade game. Basically Pokemon Dungeons and Dragons.
>Not perfect, but we enjoyed it. Wife plays capture specialist, other friends play breeder, martial artist, and ace trainer.
>I always have been fascinated by psychics. Played psychics in yugioh, played a psion in classic D&D, etc (if there is a psychic character, i nab it)
>Due to game mechanics, trainers (especially psychics) are really strong in the beginning of the game but even out as you level up. the prestige classes are pretty cool, your basically a human that can learn a variety of pokemon moves.
>Make psychic. Kid from poor part of Pallet town named Gray (trainers are named after colors, right?)

>Game goes on, fun times. First 5-8 levels or so my character is pretty cool.
>We run into main villains. Somehow they have shadow powers (powers not in the book)
>These powers basically give the trainers the Dark Type. So I'm useless against them.
>No problem. Take prestige class that lets me fly and get flying type and electric moves.
>Suddenly the bad guys start wearing armor made from pikachu that make them completely immune to electric attacks.
>ok. Getting annoyed but whatever, I can fly.
>Later, my character manages to get some shadow powers. He has the dark typing, I got sick of taking massive damage from their spammy Dark Pulses

>MFW the DM sends Black Belts, Martial Artists, and Ninjas at us.
User avatar #77 to #64 - zekeon ONLINE (03/23/2014) [-]
Your DM sounds like an asshole.
User avatar #114 to #77 - warlordstuart (03/23/2014) [-]
Honestly, the campaign was pretty fun. I wasn't the best player tbh, I kinda played a bit of a Mary Sue. That and i had the miraculous luck of 1 shotting every gym we went to. Most of the other players had to do it two or three times.

He did allot of dick things that pissed us off. For some reason he wouldnt let us stay in Cerulian city even though we were enjoying the **** out of the place. My character was dating Misty (back to the mary sue thing), the breeder was breeding super mons, and my wife was hording ultra balls. Also, my wife managed to capture both a Zapdos (who was a boss in the power plant), and a Darkrai...but she wasnt allowed to keep either.

We also couldnt figure out what canon he was playing off of. Somehow Ash and Red (who was both the Red from the games and manga) existed at the same time. Misty was a skank, and we fight with and alongside Naruto (yes, the ninja. No, not a character LIKE Naruto or some kind of Cameo, this was a major character). It was a long and strange campaign but I would call it a success. It ended on a pretty epic note.

We tried to continue it but once again he railroaded us into a plot we didnt want to go to so we just kinda gave up.
User avatar #116 to #114 - zekeon ONLINE (03/23/2014) [-]
I wouldn't say he's a bad DM (based off of what you've told me) but it's a huge misstep to limit your players like that.
#135 - adolphhipster (03/23/2014) [-]
I, honestly, hate 4.0   
They tried simplifying it and it sucks.
I, honestly, hate 4.0
They tried simplifying it and it sucks.
User avatar #142 to #135 - bloorajah (03/23/2014) [-]
THANK YOU.
#14 - drahkreher (03/22/2014) [-]
I can't think of one moment where my group was entirely serious
User avatar #155 - tantalise ONLINE (03/23/2014) [-]
My grandparents used to play D&D with my dad and uncle, and later me... back when there was no TV or Consoles... just a few sets of dice and an imagination.

My Grandmother got pissed off the Vodka infused "mana" potions and failed a roll intending on teleporting herself into an adjacent room; she ended up stuck in the wall. They called the game for the night. They never picked up that game again.

My Grandmother passed away in 2007... We never got her out of that wall
User avatar #124 - askafj (03/23/2014) [-]
D&D is dungeons and dragons, right?
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