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#26 - vladhellsing (07/02/2015) [-]
As a vampire I cannot stand direct sunlight, which is why I moved to Scotland.

But now I can't find any virgins!
#110 to #26 - anon (07/02/2015) [-]
Look in the mirror m80
User avatar #124 to #110 - Rakajin (07/03/2015) [-]
He's a vampire...
#137 to #124 - thendjustarted (07/03/2015) [-]
LOL
#152 to #124 - kazene (07/03/2015) [-]
Havent been on Funnyjunk in weeks. That gave me my first genuine laugh in a long time. Thanks for that.
#192 to #124 - fcrocker (07/03/2015) [-]
10/10

Best ******* comment thread I've ever seen.
#97 to #26 - goldendarknessx (07/02/2015) [-]
Yep over here the woman know how to ride men better than they can ride a bike.
User avatar #151 to #97 - eziosminegtfosluts (07/03/2015) [-]
I'll have you know that as a proud Scottish woman I can so ride a bike.
#156 to #151 - MrDeadiron (07/03/2015) [-]
You can ride my bike.
User avatar #153 to #97 - kazene (07/03/2015) [-]
Why does the left guy look like Mr. Sark?
User avatar #160 to #153 - supahsayin (07/03/2015) [-]
I think it it's him from his mexico trip.
User avatar #167 to #160 - kazene (07/03/2015) [-]
Huh... I need to start watching those... and be jealous as **** while wishing I was as great as the glorious Sark.
#88 to #26 - noonelikesdan ONLINE (07/02/2015) [-]
I thought I'd be safe in Wales, nope, sun everywhere.
User avatar #105 to #26 - kristovsky (07/02/2015) [-]
That's Frankie Boyle's Joke, you thought we wouldn't know didn't you?
User avatar #52 to #26 - bioexplain ONLINE (07/02/2015) [-]
It's too hot in Scotland at the moment....
User avatar #129 to #52 - thesoulseeker (07/03/2015) [-]
It's lukewarm at best. I'm from Bulgaria and I'm used to summer temperatures of over 30 something C so summer in Scotland is like a chill spring to me.
#213 to #45 - skippydip (07/03/2015) [-]
Good lord this is one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Thank you, newdevyx.
#197 to #45 - ewood (07/03/2015) [-]
the ******* M25!!!!
#208 to #45 - onlyonehotspur (07/03/2015) [-]
Praise Arthur
#214 to #208 - europeisquitenice (07/03/2015) [-]
Can I have a source? Please, please, pretty please, this is the most awesome thing I've ever seen on the internet so far!
User avatar #155 to #45 - witislimited (07/03/2015) [-]
Anyone else laughing just because he's pissed off and shouting one second, and conversational the next?
User avatar #171 to #155 - willgum (07/03/2015) [-]
its more like the opposite of that
User avatar #174 to #171 - witislimited (07/03/2015) [-]
You phrased it better though
User avatar #173 to #171 - witislimited (07/03/2015) [-]
Well, yeah, but it's still a 2 part segment of the same alternating sequence
User avatar #164 to #121 - kingheart (07/03/2015) [-]
WELL I'LL BE SHOVING MY COCK IN THE ******* BREAKLIGHTS THEN
#44 - irishalbino (07/02/2015) [-]
You merely adopted the heat. I was born in it, molded by it. I didn't feel the cold until I was already a man, by then it was nothing to me but freezing!
#196 to #44 - dethroker (07/03/2015) [-]
Ahh a friendly Arizonan reporting in as well
#205 to #196 - suckthesack (07/03/2015) [-]
tried something similar in Mali in westafrica. 50 c in the shade but it was a dry heat so thank ****
#206 to #205 - suckthesack (07/03/2015) [-]
in the sun it could get up to the 58 60
User avatar #100 to #44 - yaybacon (07/02/2015) [-]
It's not that bad because its dry heat, here in Texas its like walking through soup. When I visited my friend in Arizona I loved it because it was so dry.
User avatar #154 to #100 - kazene (07/03/2015) [-]
Same in Louisiana. ***** like you're melting at only 76 degrees. The humidity is just god awful.
User avatar #130 to #100 - irishalbino (07/03/2015) [-]
That is very true. I'd prefer this heat compared to a lot of the country.
#40 - LiveDie ONLINE (07/02/2015) [-]
Obligatory
User avatar #199 to #128 - irvea (07/03/2015) [-]
what movie?
User avatar #200 to #199 - nowthatsedgy (07/03/2015) [-]
"The Benchwarmers" (2006)
User avatar #3 - theinternetaddict (07/02/2015) [-]
"we dont like soumers"
User avatar #15 to #3 - moorbs ONLINE (07/02/2015) [-]
av*
#119 to #15 - puns (07/03/2015) [-]
oi is that
User avatar #194 to #119 - moorbs ONLINE (07/03/2015) [-]
It is m9. I've seen them live 20 odd times
#64 - infinitereaper (07/02/2015) [-]
I've lived and been to places of extreme heat and extreme cold.
I prefer cold.
User avatar #116 to #64 - teevee (07/03/2015) [-]
what is that?
#126 to #116 - rakogoki (07/03/2015) [-]
its a cloud chamber used for detecting ionized radiation. each on of those little streaks is a particle whizzing by.
User avatar #111 to #64 - niggymon (07/02/2015) [-]
i wanna live i Alaska, cold asf and far away from people, i hate people
User avatar #82 to #64 - letriggs (07/02/2015) [-]
cold is awesome

you can warrm up from cold

in the heat you just end up with ball soup
#4 - anon (07/02/2015) [-]
It was 102 in Georgia two weeks ago, and it's not even real summer yet. We're expecting 115 average by August...so yeah.
User avatar #210 to #4 - digdogfap (07/03/2015) [-]
Starting getting 115 a couple weeks ago here in Arizona
#19 to #4 - anon (07/02/2015) [-]
Are you retarded? It can't get up to 102 that's ******* ridiculous
User avatar #32 to #19 - marking (07/02/2015) [-]
I think he is talking in fahrenheit, it would be about 34 degrees celsius
#159 to #32 - anon (07/03/2015) [-]
So he's 80 years old or something? Why is he still using Fahrenheit?
#176 to #159 - ADeadlYLepricoN (07/03/2015) [-]
Cause Murica
User avatar #65 to #19 - emptysuperman (07/02/2015) [-]
You though he meant above boiling? What a retard!
User avatar #103 to #4 - kashikeoi (07/02/2015) [-]
during the summer at my work place outside can get around100 F-105F [37.7C-40.5] pretty common

and inside can get anywhere from 110 F - 120 F [43.3C-48.8C] (130F [54.4C]if I'm working on a roof for a trailer)



OBVIOUSLY we don't stay up that high for long, and drink enough water to drown a whale as we sweat the equivalent of the Texas flood.
#158 to #4 - anon (07/03/2015) [-]
Jesus Christ, is everyone dead there now? Your blood must've been literally boiling. at 102 C.
User avatar #69 to #4 - roxasbaby (07/02/2015) [-]
Its been over 100 for the last week here in california, though were getting a cool 90 degree patch this week.
User avatar #17 to #4 - daragon (07/02/2015) [-]
I don't think I can describe how insane that sounds to a Scandinavian it was 77 F 25 C (115F = 46C) outside to day and I thought I was going to die.
#31 to #17 - bnoble (07/02/2015) [-]
Here in phoenix it hit 115 here and stays around 110. We are expecting our first 120+ day soon.
User avatar #37 to #31 - vaporwing (07/02/2015) [-]
108 here in god awful Florida plus 100% humidity. Real feel? 123. And this is the weather where you take a shower and you don't dry off for 45 minutes. Arizona dry heat is fine as long as you stay hydrated. Florida humid heat ******* roasts you all day long. And everyday in the summer we get about 15 to 30 minutes a rain. You may think that would make **** cooler, **** that **** . The steam from the roads just makes it even more ****** . I Have family in Phoenix and and Flagstaff and visit pretty often, otherwise I wouldn't have said anything
User avatar #96 to #37 - Dakafal (07/02/2015) [-]
I have the opposite situation as you and I refuse to visit my family in Florida during the summer. I don't know how you guys deal with that **** . Granted, I doubt you have to deal with the temperature literally never going below 90, except in the wee hours just before the sun comes up when it's 80
User avatar #115 to #96 - vaporwing (07/02/2015) [-]
This is true. Being in Northern Florida, we go from 115 one day too 7 a few weeks later. Seriously. No joke.
User avatar #181 to #37 - gtk (07/03/2015) [-]
Florida scared the **** out of me. I was visiting my dad in Naples and it hit 115 during the day, then a thunderstorm rolled in. While still 100+ lightning struck about 30 feet in front of us at a restaurant. It was the loudest thing that I have ever heard.
User avatar #186 to #181 - vaporwing (07/03/2015) [-]
Basically the Australia of the USA too. We have bears, mountain lions, crocs and alligators.
User avatar #187 to #186 - gtk (07/03/2015) [-]
and Mangrove crabs that look like giant ******* spiders. My Pops and I were kayaking and he told me it was fine to just push off of the mangroves if the tide pushed me toward them. He failed to mention the softball sized crabs that look A LOT like spiders.
User avatar #188 to #187 - vaporwing (07/03/2015) [-]
Holy **** lol, I haven't had to deal with those yet. I knew they were big, just not THAT big
User avatar #189 to #188 - gtk (07/03/2015) [-]
Once I knew what they were I was fine, they're just creepy looking. The giant carnivores snails however I was less fine with.
#198 to #186 - anon (07/03/2015) [-]
straya doesn't have bears though
#66 to #37 - flreblue (07/02/2015) [-]
Here in central Florida, I feel you man I walk outside and it feels like a damp oven. And then when it's pouring rain and I'm still in direct sunlight.
User avatar #61 to #37 - soldieroffortunemp (07/02/2015) [-]
I'm with you bud, I live in Virginia. We had a 95 day with 90% humidity, I learned to drink the air and that it really felt like 115.
User avatar #72 to #61 - lilRican (07/02/2015) [-]
and then you forget to park your car in the shade and and its 15 degrees hotter?

i know the pain, i hate virginia summer
User avatar #89 to #72 - zombifier (07/02/2015) [-]
**** , i work outside on a rifle range, would much rather deal with the summers here than the winters, that **** is cold as ****
User avatar #91 to #89 - lilRican (07/02/2015) [-]
Fall is the only good season for me
User avatar #92 to #91 - zombifier (07/02/2015) [-]
this year skipped right over spring, went from 5 degrees to 102 in the same damn week
User avatar #42 to #37 - zerpderp (07/02/2015) [-]
Texas fag the it's normal hot and humid here but now that we have all of california's water it's like ******* walking through boiling hot steam every ******* day and there's ******* skeeters everywhere and they're the big bastards not the itty bitty ones either
User avatar #58 to #42 - rattybastard ONLINE (07/02/2015) [-]
Dude, this is a cool year; how many 100 degree days have we actually had this year? Maybe two? All this rain is making it a nice year. Well, nice for Texas.
User avatar #161 to #58 - zerpderp (07/03/2015) [-]
i live right on the coast we've had 98 degree weather bumped up to 115 its not cool for us
User avatar #162 to #161 - rattybastard ONLINE (07/03/2015) [-]
Yeah, but you have the beach; you get no sympathy from me.
User avatar #166 to #162 - zerpderp (07/03/2015) [-]
i wish i lived on the beach I live like 30 minutes away
#114 to #58 - anon (07/02/2015) [-]
Just wait until August. That's when it'll crank up to 11.
User avatar #118 to #114 - rattybastard ONLINE (07/03/2015) [-]
11 still isn't bad; I have been through much worse summers.
User avatar #209 to #37 - dagreatmax (07/03/2015) [-]
Damn I read all these numbers and I'm like I can't complain, it's been like 25 celcius here and I sweat after like 5 minutes of being outside, we also have a nice breeze.
0
#185 to #37 - vaporwing has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #123 to #37 - seancwatts (07/03/2015) [-]
Yea, my father visited from Florida awhile back and left around August because he said it was starting to get too cold for him. I was like wtf? Then i visited him in July and realized why he was complaining, its like living in ******* hell itself there in July. Ill stay in NY or a more nothern state if i move thank you.
User avatar #54 to #37 - penguinstampede (07/02/2015) [-]
lord have mercy on your souls. in cali we just had a week of mild to moderate humidity and im ****** dying when im not in airconditioning.
User avatar #53 to #37 - daragon (07/02/2015) [-]
I actually would not mind that, the rain & humidity would probably help the Grass pollen allergy that's been kicking my teeth in every time I open a window/go outside. The heat sound ******* intense tho
User avatar #34 to #31 - heyfuckyoudipshit (07/02/2015) [-]
Look at these 102 plebs im from glendale and we hit 117 some time last week
User avatar #47 to #34 - irishalbino (07/02/2015) [-]
Lots of Arizonans. I'm surprised.
User avatar #36 to #34 - rhiaanor (07/02/2015) [-]
Can confirm, 102 is chilly for Arizona
User avatar #95 to #31 - Dakafal (07/02/2015) [-]
Breh I feel you. I got off work after midnight and it was still 100 outside.
User avatar #67 to #31 - iom (07/02/2015) [-]
i would love that nice dry hot heat instead of south mississppi's humid 100+ days i walk outside and damn near drowned from on the humidity
User avatar #46 to #31 - irishalbino (07/02/2015) [-]
But that's pretty normal for us.
User avatar #51 to #17 - picamix [OP](07/02/2015) [-]
yeah it was 25 C here in England yesterday and reactions like this where everywhere on social media. i was in south spain a few years back and it was like 40 C in the sun and it was indeed very hot, but there was a pool, and the buildings had air con or kept out the heat well. unfortunately in England very few houses have air con and pools, so i have to sit here in my sweat dieing
User avatar #134 to #17 - blandbland (07/03/2015) [-]
please trade me I'm in Idaho and it was 113*F I wish it was 75*F
User avatar #68 to #17 - rafdal (07/02/2015) [-]
I feel you man, it was the same here. norway The only reason I made it was because I have river just outside my house filled with ice cold meltwater
#60 to #17 - rattybastard ONLINE (07/02/2015) [-]
To be fair, in Texas (another pretty damn hot area that can get up to 33-34 degrees Celsius) when it hits -5 degrees Celsius things have a tendency to close down. As a native Texan, when I worked on the Alaskan pipeline, I got to see what ******* real cold is. Screw that. I will work there for a lot of money, but no way am I going to live near that kind of cold.
#204 to #120 - satanicmuffinz (07/03/2015) [-]
could not stop laughing omg
#142 - rhodg (07/03/2015) [-]
I live in Wales.

Today it rained.

Yesterday, it rained.

Tomorrow, it will rain.
User avatar #90 - neokun (07/02/2015) [-]
I ******* love the cold. Its so much easier to get warm than to cool yourself down.
#102 to #90 - wickedwilliam (07/02/2015) [-]
always my argument I can easily put a jacket one but i can't take my skin off :')

Pic related, me when looking outside.
#79 - anon (07/02/2015) [-]
MFW I live in Hawaii.
#139 to #79 - nitsuan (07/03/2015) [-]
MFW I found another funnyjunk in Hawaii but he/she is anon
#157 to #139 - anon (07/03/2015) [-]
Used to live there.
Also anon.
#108 - kristovsky (07/02/2015) [-]
>be me
>Britbong
>Yesterday it got to 35C where I live
>everyone around me complaining about how bad it was
>say "I don't think it's that bad"
>Get burned at the stake for witchcraft
User avatar #109 to #108 - backupclover (07/02/2015) [-]
I love winter...
User avatar #131 to #108 - technobanana (07/03/2015) [-]
And then today where i live it was pissing down all day
#78 - machiavellianhumor (07/02/2015) [-]
reminds me of this
User avatar #113 to #78 - lazycloud (07/02/2015) [-]
admin and phanact cradling each other after emerging into sunlight from their mother's basement.
User avatar #57 - GtAhMeE (07/02/2015) [-]
"I was gonna do a vine about british people reacting to sunglasses but I forgot. WE DON'T ******* HAVE 'EM" Arthur Vines (I think)
User avatar #93 to #57 - fuckscreennames (07/02/2015) [-]
SELL THEM* caps lock for the sake of maintaining his yell
#74 - beastybaconman (07/02/2015) [-]
Now I know why this guy was afraid of the sun, he was just british
#25 - ibowtobacon (07/02/2015) [-]
In portland OR, 102 last week... the world is ******* dying, we are doing nothing to prepare, but hey, at least bruce jenner is being accepted as a woman...
User avatar #38 to #25 - xbfmvxreaperx ONLINE (07/02/2015) [-]
What's that .gif from?
User avatar #41 to #38 - PVTDickStryker (07/02/2015) [-]
American Horror Story, first season.
User avatar #39 to #38 - xbfmvxreaperx ONLINE (07/02/2015) [-]
or webm, sorry :/
User avatar #71 to #25 - hamsterball (07/02/2015) [-]
oh dear god, I feel sorry for you, the hottest it's been in the Willamette valley was 99 degrees (about 50C for yuropoors). the humidity down here has been about 40% though I bet Portland has been higher. if you catch my drift
User avatar #104 to #71 - dlman (07/02/2015) [-]
ha
i get it
because we just legalized growing and possessing marijuana
i get jokes
#203 - firesky (07/03/2015) [-]
Summer in Britain is the best day of the year.
#112 - nyawgga (07/02/2015) [-]
mfw stepping out of the basement
User avatar #127 to #112 - pokedigimon (07/03/2015) [-]
Source?
User avatar #147 to #127 - guardianatreyu (07/03/2015) [-]
Benchwarmers. I think.
User avatar #144 to #127 - ztron ONLINE (07/03/2015) [-]
The benchwarmers
User avatar #145 to #144 - pokedigimon (07/03/2015) [-]
Thanks
User avatar #146 to #145 - ztron ONLINE (07/03/2015) [-]
no problem.
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