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stuff and things.. . we 10 petty theft quite a bit we to target and find 12 KB we pepper spray steal it shop on bike pegs ttrying to impress friend I spray what

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we 10
petty theft quite a bit
we to target and find
12 KB we pepper spray
steal it
shop on bike pegs
ttrying to impress friend I spray what I
thought would jet out several meters ahead
offs
swint blows it back in my face
hholy **** it burns
gno water sources nearby
new minutes of pure agony till we make it
snaake way to bathroom hiding face best I
could
inked too, didn' t realize how stupid it
looked til I saw mirror.
Fiinally over
a slim Jim on way out
i Anonymous

...

+607

Views:	33004
Favorited:	173
Submitted:	11/09/2015

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+45

#1 - denniswilles (11/09/2015) [-]

Trying to justify stealing.

+87

#7 to #1 - mariox (11/10/2015) [-]

No one said it was justified, they were setting examples for stores to fix.

+71

#2 to #1 - mortolife (11/09/2015) [-]

I don't think it was a justification, it actually flat-out insults anyone considering it, but it's just a guide on how to make it easier and not get caught like a ******** .

#5 to #2 - anon (11/10/2015) [-]

Man, you guys are the reason I have to put security tags one dumbest things at work.

#6 to #5 - mortolife (11/10/2015) [-]

I have never shoplifted or stolen anything in my life, you'll have nothing to worry about from me. I was just clarifying for Dennis up there that it was instruction, not justification. I don't even know why he's getting thumbed down, stealing is a crime, it's a fact.

#13 to #2 - denniswilles (11/10/2015) [-]

You're right, I didn't see the first paragraph.. but that doesn't change what it is, instructions on how to be a jackass. It's not like the rest of it sounds like you're doing something wrong, in fact the OP sounds like it's okay to steal things because the shop is not perfectly secure. That's a pretty ****** way to see things.

+47

#3 - samoaspider (11/09/2015) [-]

>several people see me stuffing a live turd into my gym bag

+14

#21 - gunslayer (11/10/2015) [-]

As a security guard at one of the most important department stores in my city, I can tell you that this (pic related) is completely obsolete ******** and you shouldn't steal based on this.

A few things that we do (at least where I work) that ensures these ****** techniques don't work. :

1) We spot any people in groups larger than 3 (who don't look like families) as soon as they come in. There are 14 security guards all around the store that are secretly following these groups and observing suspicious behavior.

2) We use Sensormatic Ultra Strips web.tradekorea.com/upload_file2/sell/94/S00054294/am_dr_label__sensormatic_label__eas_security_label__am_soft_tag_.jpg within clothes, in spots that you'd never suspect. When it comes to hard tags www.retailsecurityworld.co.uk/WebRoot/Store/Shops/es106151_shop/506D/6715/C27C/E675/85E4/0A0F/1119/5098/Supertag_III.jpg the detaching socket is placed inwards so you can't release it with a piece of cable and if you do, you'll be extremely obvious. Besides this, if any object is worth using a tag or label on, there's usually a civil employee watching over them. Security guards will watch over them too, but will mostly be focused on what's not tagged and suspicious people.

3) The closed-circuit TV room is crazy **** . The screens are split into 14-30 squares per monitor, and the monitorist interacts with the security guards via radio and other methods. (In my department, we even use cell phones and it looks like we're slacking off when in reality we're communicating.) Other than that, there's barely like 2 meters of blind space in the whole store, because the cameras are capable of turning 360 degrees sideways and pretty much can see everywhere except the roof.

4) Pricetag replacing is an outdated method by far and if you're smug enough to try it here, as soon as you get to the cash register, you will be immediately given off because high-priced objects have some secret ink tags stuck somewhere and that's the price that the cashiers scan with. The removable (seeable) tags are only for clients to see, they're not associated with scan codes or prices in any way. Other than that, there's an entire team of 30 people who go around the store every 15 minutes and check if the visible prices are correct and if not, they reprint them with a Motorola Symbol & Zebra and re-tag them immediately.

5) If the Sensormatic Antennae start beeping when a client comes in, the security guards at entrances have some freestyle handheld devices i.ebayimg.com/00/s/MTAxMVgxNjAw/z/OWUAAOSw37tV-HVJ/$_35.JPG to deactivate any ultra strip or supertag and immediately offer the entering client to deactivate their sensor to avoid further issues. Of course, a normal client will agree and go on after getting wiped. If you refuse, the CCTV monitorist will observe you the whole time you're inside.

Don't steal kiddos, there's more to it than you think.

(By the way, even with all of these methods, there's always a way to steal, it just takes data collection and that will take you about 1 or 2 weeks minimum.)

+28

#8 - imdan (11/10/2015) [-]

"Absolutely nothing wrong with being Jewish"

#22 - becauseoprahsaidso (11/10/2015) [-]

do they have cameras in the changing rooms because I jerked it in there once

#27 to #22 - yaybacon (11/10/2015) [-]

No, that would be illegal.

#10 - hobiedacat (11/10/2015) [-]

Shoplifting is stupid easy. Not gonna justify it by any means but like **** its so easy you dont even feel bad about it. Especially big ass stores like walmart and whatnot. Employees dont give a **** 80% of the time.

#12 to #10 - meltdownlol (11/10/2015) [-]

They made it real simple since self-services.

#14 to #12 - gomugomuno (11/10/2015) [-]

i used to weigh my lunch as banana's and there was no alarms because the weight in the bagging area was right

#30 to #10 - anon (12/06/2015) [-]

I met my bestfriend back in 2010 when we were 15/16. She was the stealthiest shoplifter I've ever seen in my life. We'd go shopping, conversating the entire time, and after we left the store she'd empty like 3 shirts, several makeup items, a pair of shoes, jewelry, etc- and I never noticed a thing. I got into the habit of shoplifting with her, until I got caught one day and got banned from the mall. Never stole again after that. It was all small **** from Ardenes and Claires anyways.She would steal expensive **** and sell it to people for super cheap, I would get yoga pants and 25$ foundation for 5-10$. **** was cash.

#15 to #10 - anon (11/10/2015) [-]

We do care you ******* twat. We get in trouble when cocksuckers steal and management doesn't let us do a god damn think about it. We lose hours/bonuses all because some ******* doesn't think he needs to pay. **** you.

#28 to #15 - hobiedacat (11/10/2015) [-]

Then theres people like me whos dick gets real hard over doing something like shoplifting and ******** on the employees.

#19 to #10 - anon (11/10/2015) [-]

I'd be careful. I work AP at a major retail chain, I LOVE my job and actually get a thrill from busting people and ******* up their day with either a trip to jail or a $200 and up citation. We take our job wayyyy to seriously. Have apprehended for under $5 of theft just because they pissed us off, they got a $250 theft fine from PD and a criminal trespass warrant from ALL of our store. **** is cash.

#16 - lilmikemur (11/10/2015) [-]

that turd in the gym bag killed me

#11 - iamthou (11/10/2015) [-]

**** yeah love tucker max. best books

#23 to #11 - anon (11/10/2015) [-]

I mean, I hate the guy but he mad a fortune by selling tales of his assholetry, which I enjoy. But you like who kyou like .
For anyone who is confused Max Tucker, from the bed wetting one, is not a guy on 4chan but an author of books such as "Assholes finish first" He's one awards for stories like that.

#29 to #23 - anon (11/10/2015) [-]

"He's one awards" I am dissapointed in myself.

#26 to #23 - captainstinkypinky (11/10/2015) [-]

He ain't bout that life anymore though
www.maxim.com/entertainment/article/reinvention-tucker-max-2015-8

#25 - captnnorway (11/10/2015) [-]

Now I don't know what kind of pepperspray you guys have, but part of our military training was learning how to use it. the shortest lasting ones put you out for minimum 40 minutes, in which you've capable of nothing but rolling on the floor and hating life.

#24 - anon (11/10/2015) [-]

By having a one night stand I don't think the girl had any dignity left to lose.

#17 - anon (11/10/2015) [-]

the god of /b/ looks almost identical to one of my neighbors here in CA.

but my neighbors name is doug. unless he had a name change idk.

#18 to #17 - anon (11/10/2015) [-]

oh i meant gary the king of /b/

#9 - sayonarazetsubou (11/10/2015) [-]

The bad thing about the shoplifting one? It's true. I used to work in retail. Employees aren't supposed to suspect customers. Only thing we do is ask if they bought anything in apparel, to make sure that the cashier removed the security device. That's it. It's so goddamn easy to steal **** .

#20 to #9 - anon (11/10/2015) [-]

Only at some places. I work at Target and out AP is stupid advanced. If you go to a store with no AP you can pretty much walk out with your middle fingers up and they can't do **** . Places with AP though have people who can, and will, react and do everything they can to stop you. 9 times out of ten though as long as you don't become too comfotable with stealing you can get away with it.