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#1 - idontlikethisname (03/31/2014) [-]
I went outside to get bread once.
#10 - xtremehivoltage (04/01/2014) [-]

>Be me
>16 year old, on FJ all the time
>got all 4 wisdom teeth taken out today
>as I'm going to sleep said "whooooaaaaa" immidiately followed by "inject that **** "
>wake up ? hours later in "sleep room" in docs office
>dad and mom are horrified
>apparently I went full Tourettes Guy while drifting off, slapped a nurses ass and cursed a lot
>top kek already
>says that while waking up, went thru waiting room on way to sleep room
>said "ohhh shiit dude" and flipped everyone off
>remember none of this
>dad says "its k u didnt know what u were doing"
>still treated like a god today
>all the pudding and milkshakes I desire
>gf came over to see me
>watching movies and playing xbox all day
>tfw no solid foods tho

It was a good day
User avatar #11 to #10 - ohhh (04/01/2014) [-]
Damn good mention.
#12 to #11 - xtremehivoltage (04/01/2014) [-]
Oh, hi. Thanks for thinking so.
Oh, hi. Thanks for thinking so.
#20 - Nahyon (04/01/2014) [-]
>be [age]
>going to [place]
>we do [sexual related thing]
>do something unusual
>[mfw reaction face is image post]
User avatar #19 - hammythehamster (04/01/2014) [-]
I did a thing once. **** was cash.
User avatar #3 - undeadwill (03/31/2014) [-]
When I was little I tripped a girl to see if she would fall. For science.
#18 - marstan (04/01/2014) [-]
This one guy once thought it was okay to ban me from a channel because he thought i was annoying. Then he thought it was a smart idea to be a smartass in a PM. I broke him so much he ended up deleting his account. Everyone he knew went from liking him, to hating him, to mourning him.
#17 - sinery (04/01/2014) [-]
User avatar #16 - hairyjonson ONLINE (04/01/2014) [-]
about two years ago i was walking at the park with my old roommates try to pick up girls.
start talking about "Don't mess with the zohan" walking backward talking to friends. I didn't see the two girls jogging toward us. punch my friend in the chest and yell my bush is bigger turn around just in time to see then do a 180 and jog away. got punch in the kidny for scarying them off.
User avatar #15 - jinxbomb (04/01/2014) [-]
i stuck a carrot up my ass once.
User avatar #7 - buttkickerboy (04/01/2014) [-]
going to tim hortons, nothing special
ordering food, see guy complaining about coffee being cold
says hes not paying, and hes suing for low quality refreshments
the cashier gets red, probably has issues
requestes another coffee, extra hot
like this things PIPING hot
guy says hand me my coffee
cashier stands there
all of a sudden i hear AAAAHHH
and i look and i **** YOU NOT
the cashier threw the coffee into the guys face
the guy grabs the cashier and the cashier punches him out
his face gets all blistered, cashier gets close to his ear and says
hows that for quality?
User avatar #6 - zirin (04/01/2014) [-]
when i was really young i pushed a special needs girl off the bus seat because i wanted a full seat to myself
User avatar #5 - jeweljules **User deleted account** (04/01/2014) [-]
>Last week chilling with some friends, no biggie
>One of my friends comes over and brings some JD and a 24 pack coors
>Couple of hours pass, we're all smashed as hell
>Hunger starts to kick in so we decide to go drunk cook.
>Nick (One of the guys) Lights the stove and catches his shirt on fire.
>Everyone except Nick laughing their ass off, Nick's trying to put out fire on self
>Suddenly Nick pats the flames, ember flies and lands on another guy named Sam
>Sam is freaking the **** out, pulls a stop,drop,roll.
>Might've ******* worked had he not caught the carpet on fire doing so
>Over in the kitchen, stove is burning red hot still.
> ********************* .jpg
>Sam stops the flames on his shirt, runs into hallway looking for fire extinguisher.
>Tears rushing down my face, Appartment is going to be wrecked.
>Eventually flames get put out by Sam, Sam walks towards me.
>Reaches and grabs my butt and kisses me and says: Wow after a crazy night like tonight there's only one thing I need, Leans in close and says "Imma need bout tree fiddy" little did I know I'd just been tricked by the first letter of every sentence.

#8 to #5 - undeadwill (04/01/2014) [-]
God damn it.
God damn it.
#4 - dafuckisthisshit (04/01/2014) [-]
** **************** rolled comment #3 ** :
kills (or traps the immortals forever) every mention able character in his universe because a voice tells him to do it
User avatar #2 - undeadwill (03/31/2014) [-]
My grand dad once said to me "There was Adam and Eve, but I don't know where black people came from, must have come from some sort of animal"
User avatar #13 - xtremehivoltage (04/01/2014) [-]
**xtremehivoltage rolled comment #6 ** :
Yeah, she does have a fat as-- what the **** is that.
#14 to #13 - xtremehivoltage (04/01/2014) [-]
Ha, my entire 9th grade year
Ha, my entire 9th grade year
#9 - accountforstripey (04/01/2014) [-]
I used to know a girl; she had a dozen guys. One of them found out about it... beat her up so bad she ended up at a hospital on Guerrero Street.

People are very strange these days.
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