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So this just happened

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So this just happened. >Wednesday evening >at the gym at 1am to avoid all the after-work normies >just me and a couple other people there >minding m

>Wednesday evening

>at the gym at 1am to avoid all the after-work normies

>just me and a couple other people there

>minding my own business as usual when a girl comes up to me

>and by girl I mean a ~ 180 pound, 6 foot 1 body builder black girl

>I'm pretty much a skeleton at 145 and a couple inches shorter for reference

>anyway, this girl keeps making small talk with me and introduces herself

>I think she's just bored and being polite so I talk along

>after about 5 minutes of meeting each other and taking about what time we come to the gym and a restaurant, she loudly proclaims "we are going on a date"

>I haven't been out of the house in 4 days nor talked to anyone in months so in my autistic haze I said "of course" thinking it was just some banter and her complimenting me

>anyway, I give her my phone number, finishing up and go home

>so Thursday rolls around and I haven't thought much about the encounter, still in disbelief that this particular girl would be interested in me

>I wake up and see a text that says "[restaurantname] 7pm, I'll pick you up. What's your address?"

>I've never dated before or really gone out with friends so I'm not quite sure what to make of this

>she seems really genuine about going on a date so I agree

>I send my address and we text back and fourth some more

>anyway, 7pm rolls around, dad gives me a pat on the back and tells me "I know you'd find a girl one day"

>feelsgoodman.jpg

>then a range rover playing loud rap music rolls up

>my dad has the most confused look on his face as this woman comes all dressed up to meet me

>I get out and meet her, she immediately hugs me and tells me to get in

>we end up going to a different, much fancier restaurant I was surely underdressed for

>everyone was going well, a bit odd she did order my food for me but it was something I wanted anyway



>so the bills comes and it's like $150

>I didn't even know food could be this expensive

>she slaps two one hundred dollar bills on the table and said "I got you" and winked at me

>I felt pretty uncomfortable at this point because I'm a frugal guy

>anyway, I don't let it bug me and keep on talking

>we don't really have anything in common but still had a fair bit to talk about

>she kept touching my arm saying I was smart and funny, really felt like a Chad

>around 9 pm she says "let's head back to my place"

>now I'm not sure what this means but I go along with it

>we drive to this extremely fancy home and she rings the doorbell

>a massive black man answers the door

>she hugs me and introduces me, says we'll be watching netflix in the pool house

>he gives me a really judging look and says "that him?"

>she nods and he closes the door with a shrug

>anyway we get to the pool house and she puts on MTV cribs

>I'm sitting on the sofa and she says that she is going to "freshen up" and leaves to the bathroom

>about 5 minutes later, I see her out of my peripheral vision, only wearing a bikini

>it was at this moment I fully realized the gravity of the situation

>she threw me a pair of swim trunks and said get ready

>I attempted to go to the bathroom to put them on but she said "you ain't got nothing to hide"

>mfw

>I stripped naked in front of her and put them on all the while she stared at me

>this was the first time anyone ever saw me naked and I was sweating and fumbling everywhere

>she laughed saying I was turning "beet red"

>anyway, we both went into the hot tub afterwards, I felt more comfortable having swim trunks on and relaxed again

>so we're in the hot tub and she's talking about how her father is a lawyer and how she is becoming one as well

>feels pretty bad being a neet and I tell her I'm unemployed

>she responds by saying "I'm looking for a man who's a stay-at-home dad anyway"

>I never thought I could open up to anyone like this, especially someone as different from me, successful, wealthy and pretty as she is

>it's at that moment she went over and sat on me

>she turned around, undid her bikini top and began kissing me

>she pulled away, stood up and took her bikini bottom off

>then tugged my trunks down

>I was basically in a state of shock this entire time with my mouth open and a dumbfounded look on my face

>she then sat on me and I was inside of her

>I was no longer a virgin

>I began kissing her neck, it was so smooth and long, she perfect skin seemed unreal

>she pulled back her head, still riding me and smiled, I was in love

>she rested her head on my shoulder and said in a sensual tone "I will fulfill our destiny"

>it was at this very moment I realized that I was not having sex with a black woman, "she" was in fact Kylo Ren, who killed his father, Han Solo

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Views: 6725
Favorited: 10
Submitted: 12/19/2015
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#1 - Sunset ONLINE (12/19/2015) [+] (1 reply)
stickied by savetheinternet
i wanna fug black grils
#2 - spamass (12/19/2015) [-]
mfw the ending
#8 - fapmancon (12/19/2015) [-]
If this is true i swear to god you little bitch.
User avatar #11 to #8 - BloodyBallz ONLINE (12/19/2015) [-]
I'm Sorry. its true
#20 to #8 - irishlawyer (12/20/2015) [-]
Its actually not, Kylo Ren is actually Luke
#7 - thatonederpyguy (12/19/2015) [-]
I want to hate you but that was brilliant
User avatar #3 - jacencaedus (12/19/2015) [-]
now, I've already seen the movie so I'm not TOO mad, but goddammit man that ******* ending
User avatar #22 - mortolife ONLINE (12/20/2015) [-]
See, now I don't care really because I've never been that into Starwars, but that was ******* gay dude, people really care about this and you just ruined it for them.
User avatar #4 - misternobodie (12/19/2015) [-]
Is OP a faggot ? Read the text above to find out !
User avatar #23 - unworldlypath (12/20/2015) [-]
Are you ******* kidding me? It hasn't even been two days, I cant get tickets for the next week and now you've ruined it

Eat taint you cocksucker. Kill yourself
#16 - meatygoodness (12/20/2015) [-]
Ah you ******* asshole
#13 - mrwalkerfour ONLINE (12/19/2015) [-]
#15 - rakaka (12/19/2015) [-]
I spoil it in the comments, he spoils it in a post.
I get banned for 2 days, he gets thumbs and praise.

zeropercentmad.jpg
User avatar #24 to #15 - greyhoundfd (12/20/2015) [-]
That's because he's creating OC and you're just metastasizing your cancer into other peoples' content.
User avatar #25 to #24 - rakaka (12/20/2015) [-]
You need to login to view this link

savetheinternet posted this a day after it got posted on /r9k/
User avatar #29 to #25 - savetheinternet [OP](12/21/2015) [-]
I changed the last 2 lines
that post wasn't a star wars spoiler
User avatar #26 to #25 - greyhoundfd (12/20/2015) [-]
You can't prove that it wasn't him.
User avatar #27 to #26 - rakaka (12/20/2015) [-]
In fact, the greentext I posted ends with a loch ness monster. Why would OP post this twice to /r9k/ and FJ with two different endings?
User avatar #28 to #27 - greyhoundfd (12/20/2015) [-]
Because he's a faggot, or secretly the devil.
User avatar #19 - numbmind (12/20/2015) [-]
"block users content" People have no respect for poor fags...
User avatar #18 - xsoljakidx (12/20/2015) [-]
midnight viewing, no spoilers for me bitches
#17 - anon (12/20/2015) [-]
Cool, piece of ****
#14 - anon (12/19/2015) [-]
GIF
well then.
#12 - anon (12/19/2015) [-]
you ******* faggot OP I hope you burn in hell
User avatar #10 - bloodmadnertwo (12/19/2015) [-]
Holy **** . that was awesome.
User avatar #9 - enemyoftrn (12/19/2015) [-]
You gonna get snu snu to death and wished back to life by snu snu dragon.
Out of curiousity, you a non black?
0
#6 - thatonederpyguy has deleted their comment [-]
#5 - anon (12/19/2015) [-]
...what?
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