So this just happened
(Enlarge)
>Wednesday evening
>at the gym at 1am to avoid all the after-work normies
>just me and a couple other people there
>minding my own business as usual when a girl comes up to me
>and by girl I mean a ~ 180 pound, 6 foot 1 body builder black girl
>I'm pretty much a skeleton at 145 and a couple inches shorter for reference
>anyway, this girl keeps making small talk with me and introduces herself
>I think she's just bored and being polite so I talk along
>after about 5 minutes of meeting each other and taking about what time we come to the gym and a restaurant, she loudly proclaims "we are going on a date"
>I haven't been out of the house in 4 days nor talked to anyone in months so in my autistic haze I said "of course" thinking it was just some banter and her complimenting me
>anyway, I give her my phone number, finishing up and go home
>so Thursday rolls around and I haven't thought much about the encounter, still in disbelief that this particular girl would be interested in me
>I wake up and see a text that says "[restaurantname] 7pm, I'll pick you up. What's your address?"
>I've never dated before or really gone out with friends so I'm not quite sure what to make of this
>she seems really genuine about going on a date so I agree
>I send my address and we text back and fourth some more
>anyway, 7pm rolls around, dad gives me a pat on the back and tells me "I know you'd find a girl one day"
>feelsgoodman.jpg
>then a range rover playing loud rap music rolls up
>my dad has the most confused look on his face as this woman comes all dressed up to meet me
>I get out and meet her, she immediately hugs me and tells me to get in
>we end up going to a different, much fancier restaurant I was surely underdressed for
>everyone was going well, a bit odd she did order my food for me but it was something I wanted anyway
>so the bills comes and it's like $150
>I didn't even know food could be this expensive
>she slaps two one hundred dollar bills on the table and said "I got you" and winked at me
>I felt pretty uncomfortable at this point because I'm a frugal guy
>anyway, I don't let it bug me and keep on talking
>we don't really have anything in common but still had a fair bit to talk about
>she kept touching my arm saying I was smart and funny, really felt like a Chad
>around 9 pm she says "let's head back to my place"
>now I'm not sure what this means but I go along with it
>we drive to this extremely fancy home and she rings the doorbell
>a massive black man answers the door
>she hugs me and introduces me, says we'll be watching netflix in the pool house
>he gives me a really judging look and says "that him?"
>she nods and he closes the door with a shrug
>anyway we get to the pool house and she puts on MTV cribs
>I'm sitting on the sofa and she says that she is going to "freshen up" and leaves to the bathroom
>about 5 minutes later, I see her out of my peripheral vision, only wearing a bikini
>it was at this moment I fully realized the gravity of the situation
>she threw me a pair of swim trunks and said get ready
>I attempted to go to the bathroom to put them on but she said "you ain't got nothing to hide"
>mfw
>I stripped naked in front of her and put them on all the while she stared at me
>this was the first time anyone ever saw me naked and I was sweating and fumbling everywhere
>she laughed saying I was turning "beet red"
>anyway, we both went into the hot tub afterwards, I felt more comfortable having swim trunks on and relaxed again
>so we're in the hot tub and she's talking about how her father is a lawyer and how she is becoming one as well
>feels pretty bad being a neet and I tell her I'm unemployed
>she responds by saying "I'm looking for a man who's a stay-at-home dad anyway"
>I never thought I could open up to anyone like this, especially someone as different from me, successful, wealthy and pretty as she is
>it's at that moment she went over and sat on me
>she turned around, undid her bikini top and began kissing me
>she pulled away, stood up and took her bikini bottom off
>then tugged my trunks down
>I was basically in a state of shock this entire time with my mouth open and a dumbfounded look on my face
>she then sat on me and I was inside of her
>I was no longer a virgin
>I began kissing her neck, it was so smooth and long, she perfect skin seemed unreal
>she pulled back her head, still riding me and smiled, I was in love
>she rested her head on my shoulder and said in a sensual tone "I will fulfill our destiny"
>it was at this very moment I realized that I was not having sex with a black woman, "she" was in fact Kylo Ren, who killed his father, Han Solo
| |