Shitty Life Hacks IV pt 2: Ultimatum. This'll be the last one of these I do, stay safe, stay wary and, most importantly, stay safe.. Is your life an unlikeable  Shitty Life Hack object cunt of beauty
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Shitty Life Hacks IV pt 2: Ultimatum

Shitty Life Hacks IV pt 2: Ultimatum. This'll be the last one of these I do, stay safe, stay wary and, most importantly, stay safe.. Is your life an unlikeable

This'll be the last one of these I do, stay safe, stay wary and, most importantly, stay safe.

Is your life an unlikeable wreck?
Are you desperately searching
for exciting new ways to die of
diabetes or heart disease? Then
Do you have an
unprecedented number
of ? Why not
freeze every liquid you
own in case you should
ever need a crystallised
version of it sometime
in the future? Having 20
cubes of frozen coffee
will come in
useful later. It' s not
hoarding if it' s frozen.
Finding eating Bacon too --2
tedious? Try frying it into
other foods like Bacon
eggs, Bacon pancakes and / ssh
fortune Bacon cookies.
Few Bacon predictions can
be as comforting as Bacon.
Bacon Bacon bacon, bacon [L
Survival experts will
tell you it' s Best to
keep yourself
hungry. When a wild
animal growls at you
your stomach will
growl back,
establishing your
dominance over the
territory.
If the worst comes to
the worst and you find
yourself stranded
without a microwave,
you can cook hot
pockets on the
radiation emitted from
your cell phone. This
radiation is most
intense when your
battery is low, make
sure to wear the
charge down by
watching
trailers.
Hosting a dinner party
and need some
refreshing after dinner
mints on the cheapo.
Freeze dollops of
toothpaste and enjoy!
Tired of having a spicy Butt
after eating jalapenos?
Build up a tolerance by
keeping whole fresh ones
Just inside your anal
cavity.
Did you know that
ketchup can be used to
clean pretty much
everything? Just cover
the offending surface
with the stuff and when
you come back the next
day someone will have
cleaned it up for you'.
Thanks for the kind words, I
spend half my time cracking
up while I make this junk.
...
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Views: 28983
Favorited: 18
Submitted: 06/19/2014
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#5 - elemenohpe (06/20/2014) [-]
it was at   
   
>Tired of having spicy butt after eating jalapenos? Build up a tolerance by keeping whole fresh ones just inside your anal cavity.   
   
that I realized this post is 			********		.   
			****		 im too high for this.
it was at

>Tired of having spicy butt after eating jalapenos? Build up a tolerance by keeping whole fresh ones just inside your anal cavity.

that I realized this post is ******** .
**** im too high for this.
#14 to #5 - gisuar (06/20/2014) [-]
as long as the jalapeno isn't cut it doesn't even burn
#6 - yindragon (06/20/2014) [-]
Batman's parents must have tried the Jalapeno trick.
#11 - meitemark (06/20/2014) [-]
hehehe
#8 - queencardvike (06/20/2014) [-]
"Now picture this you son of a bitch. There's someone going door to door selling sand. They drop it on your floor and try to clean it up by blasting it with ketchup. But then, they sneeze and their titties empty their mustard tanks on your floor. How the **** are you gonna clean that up?"


-Cr1TiKaL
#10 - fyaq (06/20/2014) [-]
Is this really funny to you people?

the 1st time I chuckled, but the 9th time its just annoying. We get it. You learned how to be sarcastic. Now stop.
User avatar #12 to #10 - yibdiy (06/20/2014) [-]
"It's not hoarding if it's frozen"
"watching netflix trailers"
"freeze dollops of toothpaste"

These 3 thing actually did make me laugh. The rest of it... ehhh, not so much.

Anyway:
1st one because it's a funny excuse.
2nd one because I found funny how specific it was in the cellphone usage.
3rd one because I imagined serving frozen pieces of toothpaste to friends during a party or something and how they would possibly react.

But to be fair, I AM in quite a cheerful mood today, so there's also that, I guess.
User avatar #13 to #10 - nimba (06/20/2014) [-]
It's the reason this is the last one, mr. cynical
#18 - anon (06/20/2014) [-]
Haha the 2nd one is something that appears in every legit food hacks comp I've seen (just some stupid mess of fat food with bacon in)
#17 - leonhardt (06/20/2014) [-]
inb4 you become the very thing you set out to destroy
#16 - kingpongthedon (06/20/2014) [-]
I could see coffee ice coming in handy. I tend to sleep in late instead of giving myself enough time to let my coffee cool. Just drop in a cube or two and I'll be able to drink my coffee ASAP without diluting it or losing all my taste buds for the next two days. Might try that tomorrow.
User avatar #15 - icewizardftw (06/20/2014) [-]
The first two are actually good ideas
#7 - gedab (06/20/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
#4 - iceidice (06/19/2014) [-]
I love these!
#9 to #4 - anon (06/20/2014) [-]
You saved the ******* thumbnail you retard.
#19 to #9 - alimais (06/20/2014) [-]
Seems like someone saved the stuff I posted
User avatar #3 - blokrokker (06/19/2014) [-]
Kinda sucks that you're done, but I guess it's best not to have too much of a good thing, It'll end up like the Simpsons otherwise.
#2 - kirkbot (06/19/2014) [-]
thanks, these will be most helpful
thanks, these will be most helpful
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