Shave. . mmg was talking he my dad and I were ‘em I haven' t shaved my legs for 2 weeks’ and then his face Just dropped like he' d seen a ghost and he gasped th tumblr Dad jokes
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Shave

mmg was talking he my dad and I were ‘em I haven' t shaved my legs
for 2 weeks’ and then his face Just dropped like he' d seen a ghost and he
gasped then at me and whispered " forget to shave
my legs fur "
...
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Views: 48215
Favorited: 59
Submitted: 03/10/2014
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User avatar #7 - secretdestroyers (03/11/2014) [-]
What would be funnier if the dad was in his 50s or something, which would imply he went through a bit of a.....fabulous phase at one point.
#11 to #7 - amuzen (03/11/2014) [-]
when he was 9.
User avatar #24 to #11 - savvasp (03/11/2014) [-]
Well he did says 50s. Could be 59 for all we know.
User avatar #9 to #7 - I Am Monkey (03/11/2014) [-]
Well he could have been. Most people don't shave at 9 years old.
#31 to #9 - zaizer (03/11/2014) [-]
Ehm...
#2 - itsthetie (03/10/2014) [-]
My dad used to come running into my room, point his index finger at me and bend his thumb farting simultaniously. Always made me laugh for some reason
User avatar #12 to #2 - drunkasaurus (03/11/2014) [-]
I just don't get why farts are supposed to be funny. It really pisses me off when people fart in front of me.
User avatar #13 to #12 - badrey (03/11/2014) [-]
I thought im the only one..
User avatar #56 to #13 - acemcgunner (03/11/2014) [-]
nope.
User avatar #14 to #12 - krobeles (03/11/2014) [-]
I have this circle of friends, pretty awesome people in spite of this, who think it automatically makes it alright if they just go "safety" afterwards. Just blow a giant ass wretching gas discharge, and when the dust has setteled into the room that has by now come to shame the euthanization chambers of Auschwitz, they do "Safety", as if thats gonna make it all ok, all of a sudden.
Pisses me off tremendously...
User avatar #16 to #14 - redtooth ONLINE (03/11/2014) [-]
I've seen "Safety", "Honduras" and all the possible variations of that joke. I guess the main idea of safety is that you can beat him up until he touches a door knob or something like that if you say a certain word before he says "Safety". At least that's how it worked here, so after a while everybody stopped beating up people for farts but kept saying Safety after they farted
User avatar #55 to #16 - acemcgunner (03/11/2014) [-]
omg my friends did that **** in high school
User avatar #19 to #2 - lolzordz (03/11/2014) [-]
haha one time i ran all the way downstairs to sneeze on my brother, that was pretty funny
#41 to #2 - deckbox (03/11/2014) [-]
my dad would puff his belly out, tell us to 'pop' it so we poked him and he 'deflated' it and let out massive farts

our faces when

User avatar #4 to #2 - skullzer (03/11/2014) [-]
now normally fj would reply with "cool story bro" or something, but that
that actually gave me a hearty chuckle, thumb for you sir
User avatar #58 to #4 - acemcgunner (03/11/2014) [-]
cool story bro
User avatar #21 to #2 - letriggs (03/11/2014) [-]
and here we discover that FJ has a fondness for fart jokes
#17 to #2 - missaddie (03/11/2014) [-]
My dad had gingivitis and had all of his teeth pulled, forcing him to get dentures.

He purchased a coonskin hat (pictured) and called himself 'Uncle T-Bone' and would proceed to run around in leopard print shorts, the cap, and no teeth, screaming wildly.
User avatar #36 to #17 - timelordjam (03/11/2014) [-]
Can i skype your dad?
#53 to #36 - acemcgunner (03/11/2014) [-]
**acemcgunner rolled a random image posted in comment #157808 at ADMIN'S WEIRD SEXUAL PLAYHOUSE, DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST READY YOUR BODY ** mfw skype my dad
User avatar #73 to #53 - timelordjam (03/11/2014) [-]
yep, id like to make the sex with your dad and become your stepdad
#5 to #2 - struttndatass (03/11/2014) [-]
I love everything about your father
I love everything about your father
User avatar #74 to #5 - itsthetie (03/11/2014) [-]
he is a swell guy, love 'em too
User avatar #57 to #5 - acemcgunner (03/11/2014) [-]
thtas why people are pretty ****** human beings
#15 to #2 - assrocket ONLINE (03/11/2014) [-]
#20 to #2 - Hoobling (03/11/2014) [-]
My dad did the same, except the finger and thumb went up my asshole.
User avatar #33 to #20 - timelordjam (03/11/2014) [-]
Then YOU started farting? after you came of course
User avatar #6 to #2 - roflnaut (03/11/2014) [-]
Now wouldn't that spice up the day if he ran in and you were masturbating in your room.
User avatar #18 - enigmaticspirit (03/11/2014) [-]
That's funny, one time I told my dad "I haven't shaved my face in a week," and he said, "shut up mistake, I'm watching the game," then he threw a beer bottle at me. This is just dark humor; I'm not being serious. my dad's a cool guy, so don't arrest him
User avatar #22 to #18 - darksideofthebeast (03/11/2014) [-]
ha...ha, this... A. yea it hurt a little.
User avatar #28 to #22 - ragingspacepanda (03/11/2014) [-]
so did the bottle
User avatar #27 to #18 - fizzor (03/11/2014) [-]
That's rough, buddy.
User avatar #69 to #27 - fizzor (03/11/2014) [-]
Aaaaaand I should've read the spoiler.
User avatar #10 - demandsgayversion (03/11/2014) [-]
"Hi ********************** , I'm Dad!!"
User avatar #72 - cannibalvegan (03/11/2014) [-]
I once shaved my leg with a hunting knife without any shaving cream and I must say that it was pretty manly, but I realized that the fact that I shaved my ******* leg canceled the manliness out.
#75 to #72 - nimithenimi (03/11/2014) [-]
You shaved...your leg. Oh thank god you did it with a hunting knife,so your man card is still valid. Loophole!
You shaved...your leg. Oh thank god you did it with a hunting knife,so your man card is still valid. Loophole!
#76 to #75 - Rascal (03/11/2014) [-]
i ******* hate nicholas cage's stupid face
#44 - anotheroneonearth (03/11/2014) [-]
this dad forgot shaving too for some decades
#35 - Rascal (03/11/2014) [-]
**anonymous rolled a random image posted in comment #46 at Pigeons catapult trapped **
#45 - meuk (03/11/2014) [-]
sweet baby jesus help me, this "joke" sucks ******** .

OP = FEG
User avatar #59 to #45 - acemcgunner (03/11/2014) [-]
feg.. yey.. lel
#78 to #45 - putindispencerhere (03/17/2014) [-]
Here, lemme get that for you.
Here, lemme get that for you.
#51 to #45 - fozzoul (03/11/2014) [-]
FEG? Federal Entetainment Gnome? OP sounds awesome!
#46 to #45 - hashtronaut (03/11/2014) [-]
usually, I won't agree with comments like this.   
   
But holy 			****		 is this funnyjunk or a collection of Popsicle jokes?
usually, I won't agree with comments like this.

But holy **** is this funnyjunk or a collection of Popsicle jokes?
User avatar #52 to #46 - acemcgunner (03/11/2014) [-]
yes..go with it
User avatar #54 to #52 - hashtronaut (03/11/2014) [-]
i'd rather **** a meat grinder. The only thing this is missing was an "i cant even" at the bottom
User avatar #60 to #54 - acemcgunner (03/11/2014) [-]
100% done.. so done.
User avatar #37 - kimilsung (03/11/2014) [-]
girls not shaving. disgusting.
User avatar #47 to #37 - nicoquitemad (03/11/2014) [-]
Hey, it's someone's fetish I'm sure.
#25 - kripparrian (03/11/2014) [-]
I never shave
I never shave
#26 to #25 - kripparrian (03/11/2014) [-]
lol jk
lol jk
User avatar #29 to #26 - ryderjbudde (03/11/2014) [-]
Stop it.
#30 to #29 - kripparrian (03/11/2014) [-]
Deal with it
Deal with it
#32 to #30 - skullball ONLINE (03/11/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #62 to #32 - badmotorfinger ONLINE (03/11/2014) [-]
this gif is irritating as hell.
#63 to #62 - kripparrian (03/11/2014) [-]
I agree
I agree
User avatar #64 to #63 - badmotorfinger ONLINE (03/11/2014) [-]
the paki gifs aren't any better though.
#65 to #64 - kripparrian (03/11/2014) [-]
paki?
paki?
User avatar #67 to #32 - chimpaflimp (03/11/2014) [-]
Do not use the fantastic and wonderful Dodger for your retarded argument.
#39 to #38 - skullball ONLINE (03/11/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
#49 to #48 - kripparrian (03/11/2014) [-]
*Sniffing sandwich silently*
*Sniffing sandwich silently*
#70 - Rascal (03/11/2014) [-]
dad win lol
User avatar #68 - acemcgunner (03/11/2014) [-]
**acemcgunner rolled user TwiztidNinja ** you shave that pussy today?
User avatar #71 to #68 - viatio (03/11/2014) [-]
plot twist: it was a boy and his face turned ghostly because he realized his son was gay
User avatar #50 - ragingflamingos (03/11/2014) [-]
My Dad swam competitively and used to shave his legs. I can't bitch about it at all because he just tells me its not that bad.
#34 - Rascal (03/11/2014) [-]
*roll picture
0
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