Seems familiar..... . FEMALE NANNY WANTED.' bleary T HE 5221 PM CH 4 Messages Nanny Contact Hello is this Kristen? Kerlarn I am texting you in regard the ad I r
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Seems familiar....

FEMALE NANNY WANTED.'
bleary
T HE 5221 PM CH
4 Messages Nanny Contact
Hello is this Kristen?
Kerlarn
I am texting you in regard
the ad I read on the
Internet.
Great! Do you have time
for a phone call?
Not at the moment, my
dear
but I can tell you a little
about myself.
I do apologize for my slow
typing. I am an older
woman and it is tough '
keep up with all this new
technology.
haha I completely
understand
take your time i:
For the past 12 years I
have worked for the
Smythe family in England.
And for them, I did
cooking
and took care of their four
glorious children.
The kids are all grown up
now. so I am looking for
more work.
Oh look, I am going on and
on about me when you
should be telling the about
your little ones.
I have 2 boys, Jeremy and
Alex. One is 7 and one is
almost 5.
They are sometimes a
handful, but they are
wonderful children. i:
Do you have kids of your
own?
I do, but they' re all grown
up with children of their
own.
And may I ask your age?
Your age will not disqualify
you in any way
I am 70 years young.
Would you be objected to
a background check?
What does that mean, my
dear’?
A background check is
when you provide me with
your full name and date of
birth. A government
agency provides me with a
report on your criminal
history and such.
This is to make sure that
you are not running from
the law or have a criminal
history that would result in
harm to my kids.
I don' t think that you
will find anything that is
terribly troublesome.
great
By chance my dear, do
you know if = felonies
show up on this
background check’? Or are
misdemeanors included as
well?
I' m sure they will provide
all public information in
relation to any
convictions...
Is there something you
want to tell me?
No, not TEIN
Not really?
I' just had a few small
altercations in the past.
Nothing too big. I had a
run in with a security guard
at a roller skating rink and
then there was this thing
with my but my
lawyer said that should be
scratched from my record.
Uemm I' m sorry... ex
wife?
You are female, correct?
Ah dammit. Guess I
screwed up my chances of
getting this job too.
Wil kind of a female.
Kind of??
Well after my wife decided
she wanted a divorce, the
court decided that my
lifestyle was "very
unorthodox" and didn' t
want my children
subjected to "potentially
harmful behavior". pad they
gave my wife full custody
of the kids.
Long story short: She
wouldn' t let me spend time
with OUR kids, so I
dressed up like an old
british woman and tried '
get her to hire me when
she was looking for a
nanny " them.
She called ',', out the
second I showed up for an
Interview.
Called the cops and
everything.
OK, you' re sick.
But. like I said before. my
lawyer assured me that the
last incident was off my
record.
Please stop texting mel
No wait, I need this job!
You have issues! No one
would ever allow you to
watch their child!
Hey, you don' t bring my
child watching skills into
question!
I watch kids all day!
Wait, that sounded bad. I
watch kids, not like from a
van or nothing.
I mean. I own a van but I
don' t watch kids from
there.
Stop texting me! I should
notify the police of your
harassment!
No don' t do that!
They' ll know exactly who
look for once you tell
them the whole old british
nanny story.
and I can' t go back ' jail.
just give me a shot at the
job!
NOI.
lid’
...
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Views: 55570
Favorited: 157
Submitted: 04/10/2014
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Comments(130):

[ 130 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#2 - manbearpiglet (04/10/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
#1 - legnak (04/10/2014) [-]
I knew where this was heading when I seen the Smythe family. Great one OP.
I knew where this was heading when I seen the Smythe family. Great one OP.
#101 to #1 - merrymarvelite (04/11/2014) [-]
Smythe family?
#6 to #1 - doktorwhat (04/10/2014) [-]
me too
"that's smythe dear, not smith"

*looks at newspaper
"police doubt fire..."
#7 to #6 - windbound (04/10/2014) [-]
Care to educate the uneducated?
Care to educate the uneducated?
User avatar #8 to #7 - JwBread (04/10/2014) [-]
It's a quote from the film Mrs Doubtfire. When he was asked his name, he looked at the newspaper and saw the headline "Police Doubt Fire.." so he said his name was Mrs Doubtfire.
#9 to #8 - windbound (04/10/2014) [-]
Thanks. I'll watch it maybe...
Thanks. I'll watch it maybe...
#52 to #9 - zoologyexplain ONLINE (04/11/2014) [-]
Holy 			****		, have you NEVER watched that movie?
Holy **** , have you NEVER watched that movie?
#97 to #52 - windbound (04/11/2014) [-]
The thing is, I don't watch a lot of movies. Not to sound like some goshdarned hipster, but I generally prefer to read. Movies are often loud, and so are people when they're watching them. I'm not saying I don'tt watch movies, but I only do so when I really feel like it and I am alone  usually around 2am . Hence, I've missed out on several movies people take for granted that everybody has seen.   
   
tl; dr: I haven't seen that many movies.
The thing is, I don't watch a lot of movies. Not to sound like some goshdarned hipster, but I generally prefer to read. Movies are often loud, and so are people when they're watching them. I'm not saying I don'tt watch movies, but I only do so when I really feel like it and I am alone usually around 2am . Hence, I've missed out on several movies people take for granted that everybody has seen.

tl; dr: I haven't seen that many movies.
User avatar #128 to #97 - zoologyexplain ONLINE (04/11/2014) [-]
I'm just saying that movie came out 21 years ago and was THE movie of the 90's (and still is). It's pretty much the childhood of any early 90's/late 80's baby.

Watch it!
#79 to #9 - anon (04/11/2014) [-]
i hope you enjoyed your movie
User avatar #12 to #7 - Sataria (04/10/2014) [-]
This whole thing was a reference to the movie Mrs Doubtfire
User avatar #5 - ajperry (04/10/2014) [-]
I knew exactly where this was heading.

I'm pleased.
User avatar #3 - BerryLicious ONLINE (04/10/2014) [-]
Absolute gold
User avatar #57 to #3 - theflamingfire (04/11/2014) [-]
Absolute Berrylicious
#44 - jogocii (04/11/2014) [-]
I love Robin Williams. Such a great actor.
#89 to #44 - anononeeightsix (04/11/2014) [-]
Definitely one of the greatest
User avatar #64 - squiblles (04/11/2014) [-]
don't know how but I saw that coming a mile away and read it in his/her voice. really worked out at the end. great post op
User avatar #75 to #64 - fuzzyballs (04/11/2014) [-]
looking at the comments, everyone did
you aren't special
#4 - Steinwolf (04/10/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
#11 - kingofhazard (04/10/2014) [-]
Could tell where this was going after he said Smythe, was still just as awesome.
User avatar #18 to #11 - vampyrate (04/10/2014) [-]
I know, that's where I got it too. Seen that movie probably 4 million times.
User avatar #19 to #18 - kingofhazard (04/10/2014) [-]
>"4 million"
>lol Scrub
I'm only joking, it is an awesome film
#76 - dross (04/11/2014) [-]
**** me... Channel 5 in the UK launched in 1997 and I remember Mrs Doubtfire being the first film they screened, which was a big deal at the time.

**** ME. I AM SO OLD.
#41 - alucord (04/11/2014) [-]
I was expecting Mary Popins
I was expecting Mary Popins
User avatar #63 to #41 - molestedbeggar (04/11/2014) [-]
and i, Nanny McPhee
User avatar #59 - mizory (04/11/2014) [-]
"For the past 12 years I've worked for the Smythe-"

Oh god it's a Mrs. Doubtfire post
#100 - mrturferpop (04/11/2014) [-]
Everyone is Robin Williams!
#10 - mankey (04/10/2014) [-]
WILL WATCH KIDZ 4 $$$
#86 - anononeeightsix (04/11/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
#62 - swaginthebag (04/11/2014) [-]
gg op

ha ha
#80 - grimmwaters ONLINE (04/11/2014) [-]
Masterful.
User avatar #22 - Blargosnarf ONLINE (04/11/2014) [-]
I am an uncultured swine, what is this from?
User avatar #32 to #22 - DCat (04/11/2014) [-]
Mrs. Doubtfire

Don't worry. I didn't know what this was from either
User avatar #96 to #32 - Kingsteveooo (04/11/2014) [-]
Thank you! I was actually trying to find the movie and was getting nowhere!
#129 to #96 - DCat (04/11/2014) [-]
anytime
User avatar #31 to #22 - angreif (04/11/2014) [-]
Don't listen to those assholes. It's from "Me, Myself and Irene"
#24 to #22 - auryn (04/11/2014) [-]
Mr. Bean's Holiday
User avatar #25 to #22 - theavatar (04/11/2014) [-]
Mrs. Disbelieveflame
User avatar #85 - derpsenderp (04/11/2014) [-]
No offence, those parents seem like assholes. The babysitter HAS to be a female? What's up with that.
#90 to #85 - myjeren (04/11/2014) [-]
Bitches are better
Bitches are better
#91 to #85 - unlikely (04/11/2014) [-]
They weren't alarmed because it was a male babysitter, they were alarmed because she identified as a woman then proclaimed to have an "ex-wife" which doesn't add up.
User avatar #92 to #91 - derpsenderp (04/11/2014) [-]
If you read the title is says "FEMALE NANNY WANTED"
User avatar #103 to #85 - freegzuz (04/11/2014) [-]
faggot scout player
User avatar #127 to #103 - derpsenderp (04/11/2014) [-]
fite me 1v1 noob se waht u got
User avatar #94 to #85 - infernalinsolence (04/11/2014) [-]
It's considered that females are better at the caring side of a family nature. This is untrue, as men are just as capable of caring and providing affection for children. However, some parents may be suspicious of males looking babysitter or nanny type work, and may prejudicially consider them to possibly be paedophiles. As if women are incapable of being paedophiles too.
User avatar #107 to #94 - cookiecoketwo (04/11/2014) [-]
Reminds me of when I babysat, the mother HATED me because I was a boy and she thought I would rape them and was too irresponsible.

Of course, she had 5 of them, and every weekend she'd go out, get drunk, and **** another random ******* guy.
User avatar #108 to #107 - infernalinsolence (04/11/2014) [-]
As long as none of them were seriously injured or died while you were looking after them, it seems that hatred is unfounded.
#109 to #108 - cookiecoketwo (04/11/2014) [-]
Nope, they loved me, and I loved them. Which made it all the harder for them and I when the mom refused to let me babysit them. And the best part is, at the time, I was 14 and she came home drunk and started hitting on me. Well, as well as a drunk bitch could, and started trying to kiss me with skanky ass breath and teeth..
User avatar #110 to #109 - infernalinsolence (04/11/2014) [-]
Suddenly I'm glad my parents chose a neighbourhood favoured by the elderly more than new parents.
User avatar #111 to #110 - cookiecoketwo (04/11/2014) [-]
Yes, yes. Be glad, I feel so sorry for her kids.

I do wonder what happened to them. I know she abused the kids...
User avatar #112 to #111 - infernalinsolence (04/11/2014) [-]
Did you report the abuse at all? Like, even just tell your parents? Because jfc abusing kids isn't okay.
User avatar #114 to #112 - cookiecoketwo (04/11/2014) [-]
Yes, I did. Thats why she hated me, I kept telling her it wasnt okay to be doing that and kept urging the kids to stand up for themselves...
User avatar #115 to #114 - infernalinsolence (04/11/2014) [-]
Sometimes encouraging the kids to stand up for themselves isn't the best thing and can make the situation worse, though. Reporting it to, in the first instance, an adult you trust (i.e. a parent) is always good, and they can then refer it to the proper authorities after. But yeah, some abusive parents don't think they're being abusive and they're merely dealing appropriate punishment and so think themselves to be excellent parents for not spoiling their kids, not realising the sort of **** they're putting their kids through mentally.
User avatar #116 to #115 - cookiecoketwo (04/11/2014) [-]
Yeah, she was a ******* bitch. I know the kids where smart and full of potential. **** , im sad now...
User avatar #117 to #116 - infernalinsolence (04/11/2014) [-]
I'm sorry friend I didn't mean to make you sad.
It's entirely possible that if the kids were smart and had potential, at least one of them managed to live up to their potential. Maybe more.
#118 to #117 - cookiecoketwo (04/11/2014) [-]
Yeah, though they're still kids. This was in September/October this year.
Yeah, though they're still kids. This was in September/October this year.
User avatar #119 to #118 - infernalinsolence (04/11/2014) [-]
Well, as long as they can get encouragement in other places, they'll grow up good. Hell, if social services get involved, they might grow up good too.
User avatar #120 to #119 - cookiecoketwo (04/11/2014) [-]
Yeah, im truthfully curious now.
User avatar #121 to #120 - infernalinsolence (04/11/2014) [-]
See if you can get some time tutoring them after school or something?
It'll look good on university and college applications for showing an educational interest in your community, and you'll be able to keep an eye on the kids and hopefully guide them in the right direction.
User avatar #122 to #121 - cookiecoketwo (04/11/2014) [-]
I'll see if I can, sorry.
User avatar #123 to #122 - infernalinsolence (04/11/2014) [-]
Why are you apologising?
User avatar #124 to #123 - cookiecoketwo (04/11/2014) [-]
Probably because I sound like a moron. And that im probably wasting your time
User avatar #125 to #124 - infernalinsolence (04/11/2014) [-]
You don't sound like a moron. You sound like a genuinely concerned person, and in this world it's a good thing to see. And you're not wasting my time at all, hun.
User avatar #126 to #125 - cookiecoketwo (04/11/2014) [-]
Alright, thanks. I am genuinely concerned for those kids and most of my community..
User avatar #95 to #94 - derpsenderp (04/11/2014) [-]
Exactly, that's why I thought it was pathetic of the parents.
User avatar #99 to #95 - infernalinsolence (04/11/2014) [-]
They are assholes, but people are like that. Even if we don't admit to it, our actions are still dictated by social expectations.
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