Saxophones. . manerds. When he was 2 years old, he fell out eta second story window and fractured his skull When he was ti years old. he drank born: acid When h Saxophones manerds When he was 2 years old fell out eta second story window and fractured his skull ti drank born: acid h
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Saxophones

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manerds.
When he was 2 years old, he fell out eta second story
window and fractured his skull
When he was ti years old. he drank born: acid
When he was 9 years old, he over a small our and broke
his leg.
When he was 11 years old- he contracted measles and was
in a some tor rune days
When he was 14 years old- he broke his arm when he
caught it In a carriage door
When he was 19 years old. he was smelt on the head by a
falling brick
When he was 23 years old he almost died hem the effects
of tainted wane
When he was 25 were old. Adolph Sex invented the
saxaphone.
Hearty someone didn' t want that saxophone talented
THIS NEEDS TO BE A NOVEL BECAUSE, WIULD
READ THE HELL OUTTA THAT
...
+1562
Views: 57558 Submitted: 02/11/2014
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[ 157 comments ]
> hey anon, wanna give your opinion?
asd
#5 - benjah
Reply +304 123456789123345869
(02/11/2014) [-]
A bunch of people go back in time to kill Adolf Hitler as inconspicuously as possible. The only problem? It's the wrong Adolf
User avatar #22 to #5 - Flare
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
This sounds a lot like the fixed timeline theory. If you were to go back in time and kill Adolf Hitler as a baby in order to prevent WWII and replace him with another baby so that the family doesn't notice. That baby will in turn grow up to become Adolf Hitler himself.
User avatar #26 to #5 - cinnamonswirls
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
That sound like something that Terry Pratchett would write
#121 to #5 - infinitezero
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
"If I could go back in time, I'd kill Hitler."
"If I could go back in time, I'd kill Hitler."
#9 to #5 - purplebelle
Reply +6 123456789123345869
(02/11/2014) [-]
Kill him. Kill him now.
Kill him. Kill him now.
#33 to #9 - anon id: 71d8b63c
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
Um, he's been dead for a while..,
#71 to #33 - purplebelle
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
Well DUH... Because our plan worked. GOSH.
Well DUH... Because our plan worked. GOSH.
#136 to #71 - puggledragon
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
but... but what if it was his plan he whole time
#10 to #5 - hasinvadedyou
Reply +17 123456789123345869
(02/11/2014) [-]
>go back in time
>tell Hitler don't bother with jews
>he becomes one of the greatest men in history
User avatar #21 to #10 - propanex
Reply +48 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
>Implying he isn't already
#91 to #21 - anon id: c9664b2a
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
he did kill one of histories most evil dictator
#108 to #91 - dasbrot
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
It's funny how no one seems to mention that fact.
#139 to #91 - thenewneone
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
who did he kill?
#141 to #139 - Hurrrdurrr
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
Himself
#142 to #141 - thenewneone
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
Oh.
User avatar #119 to #10 - hydraetis
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
Hitler is absolutely one of the greatest men of history. "Great" doesn't necessarily have to mean "morally good".
User avatar #58 to #10 - perform
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
Then which race did he exterminate?
User avatar #65 to #58 - hasinvadedyou
Reply +18 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
the datona 500
User avatar #94 to #65 - srskate
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
I just wanted to comment and say

That was wonderful. Thank you.
#104 to #10 - anon id: 72cad316
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
well he did win the man of the year award in time magazine twice before ww2 started sooo clearly he was doing a good job before he turned on everyone. He's always frowned upon but you have to hand it to him, he was a ******* genius. He almost conquered all of Europe, he was very charismatic and he was a natural leader. His only mistake was following into Napoleans footsteps and freezing his men to death in Russia
#138 to #104 - anon id: bc1c2884
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
Si-i-i-i-i-i-igh.

Hitler was an incredibly charismatic and very capable leader, but people should stop attributing all that success to him. He was also surrounded by incredibly competent people, world leaders in their respective fields, and it was his ability to unite them that was his most useful trait.

Otherwise, he ****** up quite a lot. Besides, he NEEDED to invade Russia at some point, and what better time to do it than after a defeat at Britain, when his people needed a morale boost, and Stalin had just purged his own military of hundreds of officers?
User avatar #1 - therealtjthemedic
Reply +91 123456789123345869
(02/11/2014) [-]
Epic sax guy 10 hours

They tried to stop it.
They tried to make it never happen.
But they couldn't. Why?
Because NOBODY DISTRACTS THE SAX
User avatar #109 to #1 - fortes
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
Flagged for saxual content
User avatar #2 to #1 - jaevel
Reply +24 123456789123345869
(02/11/2014) [-]
Dude!

Come and look at these tits!

Yes come and look at these tits

Feel them, Squise them.

Find out shes a
#101 to #2 - tender
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
Read this and listen to the beat of the song, for all of you who don't get it.
#38 to #2 - thelastelephant
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
#3 to #2 - anon id: eae97b53
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/11/2014) [-]
I really hope that was on purpose
I really hope that was on purpose
#46 - loqmundi
Reply +39 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
How the hell do you accidentally come across and ingest boric acid?
How the hell do you accidentally come across and ingest boric acid?
User avatar #110 to #46 - demigodofmadness
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
Boric acid can be used as an antiseptic for minor burns or cuts and is sometimes used in dressings or salves. Boric acid is applied in a very dilute solution as an eye wash. Dilute boric acid can be used as a vaginal douche to treat bacterial vaginosis due to excessive alkalinity.[16] As an antibacterial compound, boric acid can also be used as an acne treatment. It is also used as prevention of athlete's foot, by inserting powder in the socks or stockings, and in solution can be used to treat some kinds of otitis externa (ear infection) in both humans and animals. The preservative in urine sample bottles in the UK is boric acid.

Here are some uses for it explaining why somebody might have it in their home. Everything has a use, they just didn't have child proof caps back then.
#124 to #110 - loqmundi
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
you actually went and looked it up to copy and paste that. Your thirst for useless knowledge frightens me
you actually went and looked it up to copy and paste that. Your thirst for useless knowledge frightens me
User avatar #87 to #46 - shazmo
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
It's an antiseptic used in many households. The real question is how did he drink a powder?
#57 to #46 - tastycrisps
Reply +7 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
Time traveler poisoned his food.

dammit loqmundi you need to learn to listen
#49 to #46 - bobtheamazing
Reply +27 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
6 year old's are quite good at stuff like that.
6 year old's are quite good at stuff like that.
#50 to #49 - loqmundi
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
but where the hell did he get it from
but where the hell did he get it from
#53 to #50 - bobtheamazing
Reply +6 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
my guess is from crazy scientists parents or relatives.
my guess is from crazy scientists parents or relatives.
User avatar #112 to #53 - demigodofmadness
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
Not necessarily crazy or scientist. Boric acid can be used to treat minor burns or cuts. It can even be used an eye wash if you dilute it enough. Apparently it can be used as a douche too.
#85 - sundizzle
Reply +23 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
"We are the Time Haters"
#106 to #85 - triplexrated **User deleted account**
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
#12 - postritostwo
Reply +20 123456789123345869
(02/11/2014) [-]
Baritone Saxophone Master Race!
#18 to #12 - anon id: 30d152f7
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
Have you even SEEN the bass clarinet?
User avatar #59 to #18 - perform
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
Dude the bass clarinet is basically the ****** family of the woodwinds.
User avatar #31 to #18 - bighairyfart
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
I love you.
#24 to #18 - keyoke
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
I play both. I am your master.
User avatar #23 to #12 - arex
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
Alto+Soprano>
#45 to #12 - mcoperator
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
Its a saxophone. And a bass. At the same time
Its a saxophone. And a bass. At the same time
#88 to #12 - thatawesomesexyguy
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
tenor for not just being background/rhythm and best solos ever
#90 to #12 - anon id: 9d749a55
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
I played Tenor in middle school, Alto through high school, and Bari for Jazz band

Absolutely loved playing my Alto with the symphonic band, but goddamn do I miss playing Bari for jazz. My teacher even told me it was the first time we had a competent Bari playing in the longest time, and I got my own song that was basically one long solo. Man I miss playing jazz on that beauty...
User avatar #19 to #12 - gingebro
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
my band teacher kicked me off the bari for getting my hand stuck in the bell
User avatar #40 to #12 - Medication
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
the ones that my school had were pieces of ****. There was only one good Yamaha one and when I got to play it I felt like god
User avatar #51 to #12 - icandividebyzero
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
Bari Sax is best sax. Three years on Bari, Two on Tenor.
User avatar #93 to #12 - thorrkento
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
Reporting in! Bari Sax master race!!!!
#95 to #12 - mailstrom
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
2nd cousin

Horn players don't get enough love imo. yes im a horn player
#125 to #95 - sexydingonipples
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
WE ARE NOW BEST ******* FRIENDS AND YOU SHALL NOT SAY OTHERWISE
WE ARE NOW BEST ******* FRIENDS AND YOU SHALL NOT SAY OTHERWISE
#127 to #125 - mailstrom
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
I can do that
#17 to #12 - prohibullion
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
s- senpai!
#102 to #17 - supercookieduster
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
User avatar #14 to #12 - mypickinuraxe
Reply +8 123456789123345869
(02/11/2014) [-]
I remember in 8th grade there was only one Bari Sax. He was a ******* annoying asshole. He didn't deserve to wield such power.
User avatar #15 to #14 - postritostwo
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(02/11/2014) [-]
It's one of those instruments that you can only play if you're good at it. Oh, and if you're not a huge dick. That behemoth is hard to march though, that's for sure.
#105 - flomosho
Reply +19 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
Bad Luck Adolphe Sax

what the **** am i doing anymore
User avatar #111 to #105 - hentaisweetie
Reply -1 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
Thanks for saving me the trouble.
#39 - yutzamin
Reply +16 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
#34 - perdition
Reply +15 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
Who wouldn't break a leg over a small cliff?
#48 to #34 - mrgoodlove
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
Right?
#64 - perform
-1 123456789123345869
has deleted their comment [-]
#66 to #64 - notstill
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
Stop making words up
#69 to #66 - notstill
Reply +12 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
**** I'm sorry it was just a joke, you didn't have to delete your comment over it
#25 - keyoke
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
How do you even accidentally drink Boric acid? I say this as an Organic Chemistry student. That **** is dangerous, and locked up.
#35 to #25 - anon id: 869e58e7
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
People were a lot more cool with random chemistry experiments back then. You could go to the store and buy a 1kg container of potassium nitrate if you felt like it.
#37 to #35 - keyoke
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
You can still do that. I have bought said container of potassium nitrate.
#36 to #35 - anon id: 869e58e7
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
Really? It censored pot ass ium?!
#86 to #36 - omnifish **User deleted account**
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
Yeah! Legalize pot!
User avatar #41 to #25 - commontroll
Reply +6 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
Six year old kids are retarded, and these were the days when childproofing objects was yelling at them and beating them for touching it.
#43 to #41 - keyoke
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
I tell you, as a Chemist, you do not leave the boric acid where kids can find it. In the same way that you do not let the kids play inside the fireplace, or with the chainsaw.
User avatar #44 to #43 - commontroll
Reply +8 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
And I'm telling you as somebody who doesn't give a **** about you being a chemist and has interacted and taken care of children and seen how terrible some parents are, and studying how little of a **** people gave in the past, that it's really not that shocking.
User avatar #63 to #43 - sursum
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
Please tell me more about how you were a chemist in the 1820's.
#150 to #63 - keyoke
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
I wasn't, but they were not morons back then. I have read Vogel's though, so I know they were reckless. But morons, no.
User avatar #152 to #150 - sursum
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/12/2014) [-]
But you admit that you have not intimately studied the character and individual practices of every 1820 chemist. Just because there is a rule or a convention doesn't mean everybody has followed it without deviation.
#169 to #152 - keyoke
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/13/2014) [-]
No, I am merely questioning the intelligence of the person who didn't follow said rather obvious rule. Well, not rule but basic safety procedure. It's not something that is written down anywhere, it's like, you don't leave the rat poison where the kids easily can get to it, and eat it. I'm not saying that no kids have ever eaten rat poison. Ah what the hell, you know what I mean.