Rescuing A Dolphin. Rescuing A Dolphin isfunny.net/give-respect-in-life/. what did you do before breakfast today? I bet it wasn' t “save 'ii' dolphin" This is h funny
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Rescuing A Dolphin

Tags: funny
what did you do before breakfast today?
I bet it wasn' t “save 'ii' dolphin"
This is how I found him about y, am oaths share at
Perdido Key, " He wasn' t moving and I wasn' t sure if
he was dead. He was at least is ft long.
VIII! em SEE ire he EMILIE till mlt.' '' r.' l, with HIS
blowhole '. the surf. After taking this bio, I saw his
are blink, and then I deemed to are I went ' to the
surf and rolled him averse he amid breathe. He drew
in 'ii' big breath and then started to struggle I" little.
some same walking by and after talking
with them for it minute, they deemed to help. may
grabbed his tail and pulled while I kept him upright
and pushed on his dorsal fin.
...
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Views: 32235
Favorited: 30
Submitted: 07/15/2014
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Comments(186):

[ 186 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #1 - sinery (07/15/2014) [-]
Apparently a dead dolphin's vagina is very similar to a human's.
Just saying.
#111 to #1 - WhiteCrayon (07/16/2014) [-]
Thats a male dolphin thou, female dolphins have one slit as the guys 2. Trust me, I know dolphin vaginas..
User avatar #154 to #1 - niggastolemyname ONLINE (07/16/2014) [-]
these threads will never die
User avatar #3 to #1 - voltkills (07/15/2014) [-]
what about alive ones?
User avatar #4 to #3 - sinery (07/15/2014) [-]
Why would you want to know?
User avatar #74 to #4 - skypatrol (07/16/2014) [-]
Yes.
User avatar #143 to #3 - KillinTime (07/16/2014) [-]
live ones will basically remove your dick by clamping down on it.
User avatar #20 to #1 - profkitty (07/16/2014) [-]
Would you ban me if I posted a pic of it?
#26 to #20 - sinery (07/16/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
#65 to #28 - boomerpyro ONLINE (07/16/2014) [-]
people faved that
people faved that
User avatar #75 to #65 - profkitty (07/16/2014) [-]
Why not, most people on FunnyJunk would **** any vagina.
User avatar #71 to #28 - ltbuttstrong ONLINE (07/16/2014) [-]
D'aww it even has a cute dolphin clit
User avatar #95 to #71 - fatoneatetwo (07/16/2014) [-]
This is ****** ^
User avatar #73 to #28 - skypatrol (07/16/2014) [-]
I am going to **** a dolphin.
It is now on my bucket list
User avatar #106 to #73 - alexandrz (07/16/2014) [-]
There will come a day when you have forgotten the internet after the net neutrality wars, you have a happy marriage, kids, and a safe job, and then develop a terminal illness.

On that day, I will find you, and remind you what you just promised the internet, and therefore the world.
User avatar #146 to #106 - skypatrol (07/16/2014) [-]
And I will gladly follow my promise, and **** a dolphin for all to see
User avatar #76 to #28 - SylverSlayer ONLINE (07/16/2014) [-]
I'm going to make the smart decision and masturbate before i see this
#144 to #28 - sinery (07/16/2014) [-]
Okay then.
#104 to #28 - ironsoul ONLINE (07/16/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
#105 to #104 - profkitty (07/16/2014) [-]
God speed my friend.
User avatar #78 to #1 - frankjeager ONLINE (07/16/2014) [-]
Also, there is a man who had a sexual relationship with a dolphin and wrote a book about it. His name is Malcolm J Brenner and the book is Wet Goddess.
I'd read it if you really want to know
#123 to #1 - theherowithin (07/16/2014) [-]
i wouldnt know what a dead humans vagina is like.
User avatar #70 to #1 - ltbuttstrong ONLINE (07/16/2014) [-]
Why would the fact that it's dead make much of a difference? Does the dolphin vagina transmogrify upon death?
User avatar #35 to #1 - fluttermon (07/16/2014) [-]
Apparently a dolphin's vagina should feel SUPER good

much better than a human one because they're able to controle different muscles in their vagina.. and since dolphin's have sex for pleasure and aint stupid it's possible to have a sexual relationship with a dolphin

just sayin
#68 to #1 - digitalfruit (07/16/2014) [-]
I was actually recently at Discovery Cove, where you get to interact with dolphins, they had her turn over and yes, dolphin pussy looks very similar to humans, however males also have a slit  so if you get that opportunity just letting you, know watch out
I was actually recently at Discovery Cove, where you get to interact with dolphins, they had her turn over and yes, dolphin pussy looks very similar to humans, however males also have a slit so if you get that opportunity just letting you, know watch out

User avatar #102 to #68 - kelp (07/16/2014) [-]
Does someone has source on this gif?
User avatar #114 to #102 - gargoylez (07/16/2014) [-]
Its Michael Rosen, one of his videos for kids. Be warned though, searching for his stuff on YT will only give you parody (if i can call it that) videos
#2 to #1 - accountforstripey ONLINE (07/15/2014) [-]
oh just taking notes, don't mind me
#42 - Penn (07/16/2014) [-]
"What did you do before breakfast today?
I bet it wasn't save a dolphin'"

No, I may not have saved a dolphin before breakfast, but at least I don't belittle people for the good things I do like a dick.
#120 to #42 - leminlyme (07/16/2014) [-]
Maybe he's just trying to encourage you to be an equally or greater person to himself on this fine morning. Interpret things how you want to!
#127 to #42 - John Cena (07/16/2014) [-]
Take a joke, you sad little prick.
User avatar #30 - elyiia (07/16/2014) [-]
Dolphins are rapists, you saved a rapist.
#67 to #30 - John Cena (07/16/2014) [-]
power to the patriarchy!
#29 - John Cena (07/16/2014) [-]
instead of doing **** quickly like it mattered, i took a ******** of photos so people on the internet would love
User avatar #86 to #29 - chezburgadominator (07/16/2014) [-]
Hey he could've left the dolphin there, was going to die if he didn't come along at the end of the day.
#145 - lastgentleman (07/16/2014) [-]
Dolphin tries to commit suicide and your self righteous ass had to stop him.Nice going,he lost his family and wanted to join them,but now he has to be alone and miserable.
#147 to #145 - conorlockyer (07/16/2014) [-]
Dude, thats dark...... I love it!
User avatar #138 - propimp (07/16/2014) [-]
>5 AM
>Be Dolphin
>boyfriend ****** me over
>decide to suicide at beach
>6 AM
>allmost pas out when random dude comes
>he takes pics
>touches my vagina and tries to **** me in the water
>couple comes over
>he stops
>together they put me fully in water
>worst day of my life
User avatar #130 - owemiegawd (07/16/2014) [-]
dude you just missed out on being one of the few people to bang a dolphin.
#132 to #130 - stefanovic (07/16/2014) [-]
Few?
Few?
User avatar #133 to #132 - owemiegawd (07/16/2014) [-]
bang a dolphin, not be banged by one. read carefully
#148 to #130 - tsoper (07/16/2014) [-]
Mating: This is harder. Obviously, being human, it is awkward, but not impossible to mate in open water. It is easier to have the dolphin in a shallow area (like the shallows just off the beach) around 1 1/2 to 2 feet deep. This is usually comfortable enough for both the dolphin and you. Gently, you should roll the dolphin on her side, so she is lying belly-towards you. You can prop yourself up on an elbow, and lie belly to belly against her. You may want to use the other arm to gently hold her close, and place the tip of your member against her genital slit. She will, if interested, arch her body up against you, taking you inside her body. There is usually a fair bit of wriggling and shifting, usually to get comfortable, both outside and inside. Once comfortable, though, females initiate a series of muscular vaginal contractions that rub the entire length of your member. They may also thrust rhythmically against you, so enjoy the experience while you can, since you will rarely last longer that a minute or two. Just prior to her climaxing, she will up the speed of her contractions and thrusts. It is interesting to note that the times I have mated with females, thay have timed their orgasm to mine. Whether they do this consciously or not, I do not know, but it is a great feeling to have two bodies shuddering against each other at the one time.    
   
One thing to note. Whether you masturbate or mate a fin, male or female, always spend time with them afterwards. Cuddle them, rub them, talk to them and most importantly, and show them you love them. This is essential, as it helps to strengthen the bond between you. Like a way of saying that this wasn't just a one night fling. The dolphins appreciate it, and they will want your company more the next time you visit them.    
   
From: /b/
Mating: This is harder. Obviously, being human, it is awkward, but not impossible to mate in open water. It is easier to have the dolphin in a shallow area (like the shallows just off the beach) around 1 1/2 to 2 feet deep. This is usually comfortable enough for both the dolphin and you. Gently, you should roll the dolphin on her side, so she is lying belly-towards you. You can prop yourself up on an elbow, and lie belly to belly against her. You may want to use the other arm to gently hold her close, and place the tip of your member against her genital slit. She will, if interested, arch her body up against you, taking you inside her body. There is usually a fair bit of wriggling and shifting, usually to get comfortable, both outside and inside. Once comfortable, though, females initiate a series of muscular vaginal contractions that rub the entire length of your member. They may also thrust rhythmically against you, so enjoy the experience while you can, since you will rarely last longer that a minute or two. Just prior to her climaxing, she will up the speed of her contractions and thrusts. It is interesting to note that the times I have mated with females, thay have timed their orgasm to mine. Whether they do this consciously or not, I do not know, but it is a great feeling to have two bodies shuddering against each other at the one time.

One thing to note. Whether you masturbate or mate a fin, male or female, always spend time with them afterwards. Cuddle them, rub them, talk to them and most importantly, and show them you love them. This is essential, as it helps to strengthen the bond between you. Like a way of saying that this wasn't just a one night fling. The dolphins appreciate it, and they will want your company more the next time you visit them.

From: /b/
User avatar #163 to #148 - exclamation (07/16/2014) [-]
Can you blame me for being aroused after reading that?!
#110 - honkitonk (07/16/2014) [-]
hooray you did eet. i bet it died soon after that.
#119 - bigblacknegro (07/16/2014) [-]
"What did you do before breakfast today? I bet it wasn't 'save a dolphin' "
User avatar #139 to #119 - wizardbaker (07/16/2014) [-]
How is that edgy?


Edgy would be "I bet it wasn't 'rape a dolphin'"
#118 - John Cena (07/16/2014) [-]
how the **** do you expect them to evolve if you keep pushing them back into the water?
#155 - shikoti (07/16/2014) [-]
What if... the dolphin was just trying to evolve... and you just put it back to square one... poor dolphin....or maybe he was sun tanning... oh well maybe next time.
#172 - skiskate (07/16/2014) [-]
I'm glad the dolphin was ok
User avatar #173 to #172 - klick ONLINE (07/16/2014) [-]
dude, that picture needs to go on a card.
#174 to #173 - skiskate (07/16/2014) [-]
They have a bunch of them with deer
User avatar #175 to #174 - klick ONLINE (07/16/2014) [-]
aye. But no dolphins.
#126 - John Cena (07/16/2014) [-]
Dieing endangered species, better take pictures be for I save it
User avatar #129 to #126 - asheskirata (07/16/2014) [-]
he thought it was dead already.
User avatar #125 - cmkpower ONLINE (07/16/2014) [-]
But would you have done the same if it was a shark?
User avatar #158 to #125 - thinemother (07/16/2014) [-]
dolphins are less likely to eat you I think
User avatar #177 to #158 - cmkpower ONLINE (07/16/2014) [-]
Stop stereotyping sharks.
#79 - sandmansniper (07/16/2014) [-]
CONGRATS! No one gives a **** .
#107 - scorpiom (07/16/2014) [-]
"Let me just take a pic of this dead/dying dolphin instead of checking if it is still alive."
Call me sexist if you want, but i have a huge hunch that OP is a girl.
User avatar #109 to #107 - xXFairyXx (07/16/2014) [-]
If you read it right, they thought it was dead before it blinked.
#156 to #107 - John Cena (07/16/2014) [-]
Nah, chicks have to put their face in every picture they take ,remember?
User avatar #157 - thinemother (07/16/2014) [-]
Can someone not do a good thing without taking a bunch of pictures and posting it on the internet to show people how good they are.
#159 to #157 - juter ONLINE (07/16/2014) [-]
Has it occurred to you that either A) the guy that did it wasn't taking the pictures, or B) he took them with the intention of showing others that they can make a difference, not to be an attention whore? Not everyone in the world is a big of a 			*******		 asshole as you.
Has it occurred to you that either A) the guy that did it wasn't taking the pictures, or B) he took them with the intention of showing others that they can make a difference, not to be an attention whore? Not everyone in the world is a big of a ******* asshole as you.
#168 to #159 - anonasuser (07/16/2014) [-]
i might be will to believe it was for a good purpose if he didn't start it with "what did you do before breakfast today. I bet it wasn't save a dolphin"

dude seems pretty egotistical about this rescue.
#164 to #159 - barsaka ONLINE (07/16/2014) [-]
He took the picture, then saw the dolphins eye blink and then he decided to help. Well, its not 100% clear that he was the one taking the picture, but its what i thought too, when i first read it. The way he wrote it, one would not think, that he took the picture to show people that they should help. Just saying that thinemother is not so wrong in his statement.
User avatar #161 to #159 - thinemother (07/16/2014) [-]
It might just be me but it seemed by his wording that he did it not just to be a good person, but to be praised by others and seem higher than them. And it did suggest that he was the one taking the pictures, as he uses "I" instead of "we".
User avatar #162 to #161 - juter ONLINE (07/16/2014) [-]
Valid points, But I don't see it the same way.
User avatar #167 to #162 - thinemother (07/16/2014) [-]
fair enough
User avatar #165 - wilfredfanforever (07/16/2014) [-]
>Sea animals try to evolve
>can never achieve this because gay ass do gooders always have to save the day
>How does that make you feel?
#100 - ganjalf (07/16/2014) [-]
That very same dolphin lived to be one of the most brutal sea rapist of all time.
History will remember him with the name of "free Willy"
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