Religious gems from tumblr. . And God said unto Abraham, "Abraham." And Abraham replied, God said to John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But John came

Religious gems from tumblr

And God said unto
Abraham, "Abraham."
And Abraham replied,
God said to John, "Come
forth and receive eternal
life." But John came fifth and
were a toaster.
And Judas approached the
rabbis and Pharisees saying,
The one whom I kiss is the was
yen seek."
Ts which they responded,
And thus, grad made Eve. And she
was bammin' slammin'
see I/ all in hell
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Submitted: 11/11/2013
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User avatar #22 - vladhellsing (11/12/2013) [+] (2 replies)
And then David smote Goliath. He meant to smack him, but he was using autocorrect.

And the children of Israel wandered the desert for forty years, until Moses' wife said "Are you gonna ask for directions or what?"

And so it rained for forty days and nights, and Noah thought to himself " **** , moving to Scotland was a bad idea."

And they finally saw the sign the lord had promised: "You are now leaving Detroit".

And Samson said unto the lord, "Lord, why have you given me all my strength in my hair?"
And the lord replied, "Because you're worth it."

Paul was on the road to Damascus, when he got hit by a helicopter gunship.

And on the 8th day, God created a magic talking leopard and forgot all about it.
#14 - batwill **User deleted account** (11/12/2013) [-]
User avatar #15 - mutzaki ONLINE (11/12/2013) [-]
I always lose it on the second one.
#18 - rprol ONLINE (11/12/2013) [-]
#17 - feedmeh (11/12/2013) [+] (2 replies)
as a Christian, I thought this was Offensive Funny as **** .

Honestly, I feel God has a fantastic sense of humor.
Proof: Farts on an elevator.
#36 - krayon (11/12/2013) [-]
This image has expired
<--- Pic certainly related!
#33 - icametocomment (11/12/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#37 - flutterbye (11/12/2013) [-]
And she was bammin' slammin' bootylicious
And she was bammin' slammin' bootylicious
User avatar #25 - cactuspantsftw (11/12/2013) [+] (3 replies)
Do people actually believe in religion?
You think we all came out of a rib?
#32 to #25 - tinypoodle (11/12/2013) [-]
Thats literally the same as saying

Do people really believe in evolution?
Do you really think we all came from a fish?

I completely get you and you may be joking, but its not a solid argument.
#23 - meatbeaterz **User deleted account** (11/12/2013) [-]
it begun
User avatar #40 - yunoknow (11/12/2013) [+] (3 replies)
One religious question real quick. If I were a Christian, a good Christian worthy of heaven and salvation, would I also suffer from eternal damnation of the other religions? Would I also reincarnate? Or is this more like picking a talent tree and level up accordingly?
User avatar #42 to #40 - unlithe ONLINE (11/12/2013) [-]
holy **** bro. that is ****** deep. i got no idea but i was under if the assumption that if any religion were true, that would be the only one in effect.
#39 - kevinthedonut (11/12/2013) [+] (1 reply)
I bet Satan made one of them.
I bet Satan made one of them.
#35 - arialynx ONLINE (11/12/2013) [-]
Man, if we go to hell for making these joke, then I don't wanna go to heaven.
#34 - kingbulbasaur ONLINE (11/12/2013) [-]
&quot;To which they responded, 'gay'.&quot;
"To which they responded, 'gay'."
#16 - matosevic (11/12/2013) [-]
Just so you know ,that whole tekst comes from Rowan Atkinsons play...
User avatar #13 - dmirish (11/12/2013) [-]
You'd almost think this thread is a set-up.
User avatar #12 - hahahaheidi (11/11/2013) [-]
thank god the pony police showed up before I did :o in regards to the comments below mine
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