Religious gems from tumblr. . And God said unto Abraham, "Abraham." And Abraham replied, God said to John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But John came
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Religious gems from tumblr

And God said unto
Abraham, "Abraham."
And Abraham replied,
God said to John, "Come
forth and receive eternal
life." But John came fifth and
were a toaster.
And Judas approached the
rabbis and Pharisees saying,
The one whom I kiss is the was
yen seek."
Ts which they responded,
And thus, grad made Eve. And she
was bammin' slammin'
see I/ all in hell
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Submitted: 11/11/2013
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User avatar #15 - mutzaki (11/12/2013) [-]
I always lose it on the second one.
#14 - batwill **User deleted account** (11/12/2013) [-]
User avatar #22 - vladhellsing (11/12/2013) [-]
And then David smote Goliath. He meant to smack him, but he was using autocorrect.

And the children of Israel wandered the desert for forty years, until Moses' wife said "Are you gonna ask for directions or what?"

And so it rained for forty days and nights, and Noah thought to himself " **** , moving to Scotland was a bad idea."

And they finally saw the sign the lord had promised: "You are now leaving Detroit".

And Samson said unto the lord, "Lord, why have you given me all my strength in my hair?"
And the lord replied, "Because you're worth it."

Paul was on the road to Damascus, when he got hit by a helicopter gunship.

And on the 8th day, God created a magic talking leopard and forgot all about it.
User avatar #29 to #22 - feveryoucantsweat (11/12/2013) [-]
Hah because youre worth it
#30 to #22 - danascully (11/12/2013) [-]
I am a Christian, and I can confirm that this is how it's described.
#18 - rprol (11/12/2013) [-]
#24 - dalokan ONLINE (11/12/2013) [-]
#36 - krayon (11/12/2013) [-]
This image has expired
<--- Pic certainly related!
User avatar #25 - cactuspantsftw (11/12/2013) [-]
Do people actually believe in religion?
You think we all came out of a rib?
#32 to #25 - tinypoodle (11/12/2013) [-]
Thats literally the same as saying

Do people really believe in evolution?
Do you really think we all came from a fish?

I completely get you and you may be joking, but its not a solid argument.
#31 to #25 - anon (11/12/2013) [-]
Yes. Yes, we do believe in religion. I personally don't believe that we came out of a rib (which it says nowhere in the bible), but I believe that there is a god.
#43 to #31 - moonmoonsmom (11/12/2013) [-] does say that in the bible. Genesis 2:21-22 "So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man."
#17 - feedmeh (11/12/2013) [-]
as a Christian, I thought this was Offensive Funny as **** .

Honestly, I feel God has a fantastic sense of humor.
Proof: Farts on an elevator.
#27 to #17 - misfitsftw has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #28 to #27 - zzforrest (11/12/2013) [-]
How are there farts on the elevator if god didn't create us?
#33 - icametocomment (11/12/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#37 - flutterbye (11/12/2013) [-]
And she was bammin' slammin' bootylicious
And she was bammin' slammin' bootylicious
#23 - meatbeaterz **User deleted account** (11/12/2013) [-]
it begun
#39 - kevinthedonut (11/12/2013) [-]
I bet Satan made one of them.
I bet Satan made one of them.
User avatar #41 to #39 - kevinthedonut (11/12/2013) [-]
As in one of those quotes, sentences whatever I'm bored.
User avatar #40 - yunoknow (11/12/2013) [-]
One religious question real quick. If I were a Christian, a good Christian worthy of heaven and salvation, would I also suffer from eternal damnation of the other religions? Would I also reincarnate? Or is this more like picking a talent tree and level up accordingly?
User avatar #42 to #40 - unlithe (11/12/2013) [-]
holy **** bro. that is ****** deep. i got no idea but i was under if the assumption that if any religion were true, that would be the only one in effect.
User avatar #44 to #42 - yunoknow (11/12/2013) [-]
Yeah, this seems to be the case for most monotheistic religions. This question was on the back of my mind when I first read the Divine Comedy, with Virgil stuck in a layer outside of Inferno, Purgatory, and Paradise because he predated the formation of Christianity, and only now did this pop back up again. I'm not claiming Dante's the authority on Christianity, in case someone somehow holds this against me, just saying that this idea spawned my question.
User avatar #45 to #44 - unlithe (11/12/2013) [-]
well, if we go to hell, we'll all have eachother.
#35 - arialynx ONLINE (11/12/2013) [-]
Man, if we go to hell for making these joke, then I don't wanna go to heaven.
#34 - kingbulbasaur (11/12/2013) [-]
&quot;To which they responded, 'gay'.&quot;
"To which they responded, 'gay'."
#16 - matosevic (11/12/2013) [-]
Just so you know ,that whole tekst comes from Rowan Atkinsons play...
User avatar #13 - dmirish (11/12/2013) [-]
You'd almost think this thread is a set-up.
User avatar #12 - hahahaheidi (11/11/2013) [-]
thank god the pony police showed up before I did :o in regards to the comments below mine
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