Realistic Women's Magazines. . SEX when haro' New Gaze Upon The Epic New Ti The ‘Human ‘refer Masturbates It Tickle Hie Prostate with an PLUS l emu: shameon cosmo Magazine newspaper women funny parody joke
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[ 94 comments ]
> hey anon, wanna give your opinion?
asd
#1 - MaggotDeath
Reply +99 123456789123345869
(10/17/2013) [-]
"Tickle his prostate with an egg-beater."
#3 to #1 - parralax
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/17/2013) [-]
**parralax rolled a random image posted in comment #51 at Crysis 1, almost 7 years old **Tickle my anus and call me Samantha.
#43 to #3 - lfunnymanl
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(10/18/2013) [-]
**lfunnymanl rolled a random image posted in comment #8 at Muddah Fuckin' Breadcrumbs ** im gonna usse this on your anus
**lfunnymanl rolled a random image posted in comment #8 at Muddah Fuckin' Breadcrumbs ** im gonna usse this on your anus
#71 to #43 - renegadesparks **User deleted account**
0 123456789123345869
has deleted their comment [-]
#9 to #1 - renegadesparks **User deleted account**
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(10/17/2013) [-]
#80 to #1 - theprocrastibator
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(10/18/2013) [-]
#22 to #1 - batwill **User deleted account**
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(10/18/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#10 to #1 - kaboomz
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(10/17/2013) [-]
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User avatar #6 - aTastyCooky
Reply +24 123456789123345869
(10/17/2013) [-]
women magazine logic
"Don't let skinny people make you feel bad about yourself! Feel good for who you are!"


"lose 30 pounds in 1 week!"
#2 - banditowolf
Reply +22 123456789123345869
(10/17/2013) [-]
mfw I use someones bathroom and a womans magazine is left in there
#8 - theporkwhisperer
Reply +15 123456789123345869
(10/17/2013) [-]
"No joke, you need it so badly you'd blow a baboon."
#11 to #8 - anon id: a02354c8
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/17/2013) [-]
**** I read it as balloon...
User avatar #81 to #8 - greenstrongworld
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/18/2013) [-]
God I read it in Freeman's voice.
#50 - greenzeopoweranger **User deleted account**
Reply +14 123456789123345869
(10/18/2013) [-]
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" Tickle his prostate with an egg-beater "
User avatar #52 to #50 - heartlessrobot
Reply -5 123456789123345869
(10/18/2013) [-]
I prefer the massive strap-on. Or horse-cock dildo. Or massive horse-cock strap-on.
#60 to #52 - muffinmadman
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(10/18/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#56 to #52 - greenzeopoweranger **User deleted account**
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(10/18/2013) [-]
This image has expired
#51 to #50 - deletedmyaccount
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(10/18/2013) [-]
#21 - mustlol
Reply +13 123456789123345869
(10/18/2013) [-]
I know they make good girlfriends
#59 - fyaq
Reply +11 123456789123345869
(10/18/2013) [-]
"tickle his prostate with an eggbeater"
#64 to #59 - marcury
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/18/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#45 - sweetsighlullaby
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(10/18/2013) [-]
Actual sex tips from cosmo, supposedly written by men.

"My girl would use marbles to tease me with in bed. She'd casually scatter them over the bed sheet and then as we get it on, I could feel the cool marbles press against my hot skin. It's a wicked sensation." –Greg, 21

"Have me lie on my stomach, then wet the skin below my butt with your tongue. Blow on it." –Beckett, 33

"A little-known erogenous zone: the area between a guy's navel and his penis. Lick it, tickle it, or gently tug the hairs there." –Cesar, 28

"When you're near the point of no return, whisper four-letter words into my ears—the really dirty ones." –Fred, 23

"During Missionary, place your hands on your man's shoulders and push against him. He'll have to struggle to thrust upward, which means he's working harder for his pleasure—always a turn on." –Thomas, 22

"When your man is really close, lightly roll your knuckles between his balls and his back door." –Tobias, 30

"Make two fists around my shaft and twist them in opposite directions as fast as you can." Jamie, 30

Are any of these valid, because cosmo prints them in every magazine. Also, they suggest fingering your boyfriend randomly so that he has no chance to say no and can decide whether he likes it after trying it.
User avatar #54 to #45 - heartlessrobot
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/18/2013) [-]
Those are all ********. And as a bi male, while I do enjoy anal, I prefer a bit of warning and lube. Though, rimming is always good.
User avatar #86 to #54 - danniegurl
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/18/2013) [-]
For me, any mouth contact around a butt is disgusting. Why the hell would I want to lick someone where they poop? And I certainly wouldn't want to kiss him after if he did it to me.
User avatar #92 to #86 - heartlessrobot
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/18/2013) [-]
See, I wash and scrub and clean a lot down there.
User avatar #94 to #92 - danniegurl
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/18/2013) [-]
me too, but even so. you poop from there.
User avatar #95 to #94 - heartlessrobot
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/18/2013) [-]
Yeah, so? I don't have anything for scat, but I enjoy anal. Particularly receiving.
User avatar #96 to #95 - danniegurl
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/18/2013) [-]
i just wouldn't want to put my mouth there, and i wouldn't want anyone else to put their mouth on mine.
User avatar #97 to #96 - heartlessrobot
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/18/2013) [-]
Eh, to each their own.
#65 to #54 - marcury
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/18/2013) [-]
as a another bi male, I will second the idea of warning and lube.... you wouldn't want him to surprise you like that correct?

I will also second that the ideas are terrible and should not be tried... especially the hair pulling. Its only sexy if its head hair and then only if done correctly.

Here is a fun picture.
#62 to #45 - douthit
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/18/2013) [-]
#70 to #62 - AresX
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(10/18/2013) [-]
"Make two fists around my shaft and twist them in opposite directions as fast as you can."
"Make two fists around my shaft and twist them in opposite directions as fast as you can."
User avatar #83 to #45 - thesinful
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/18/2013) [-]
Don't forget: "I really hate when a woman handles my junk with care. Ladies, we're really not that sensitive down there."

Either the biggest liar ever or the evilest troll ever. I'm not sure which. Ever see a man get hit in the balls and just collapse before curling into a fetal position? We are in fact that sensitive down there.
User avatar #47 to #45 - gtocforyou
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(10/18/2013) [-]
Nope, most of these sound like real turn offs...
#48 to #47 - onkii
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(10/18/2013) [-]
That last one
#57 to #48 - ilikecawk
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(10/18/2013) [-]
Mfw that last one