Pvt. Private. Sorry if the text is unreadable and for the white space... Update: She's still using it as a decoration anyways. hohoho Merry Christmas  stocking stuffer
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#2 - damianblu [OP]
Reply +309
(12/07/2013) [+] (22 replies)
stickied by damianblu
Update: She's still using it as a decoration anyways.
#17 to #2 - whydoesthishappen
Reply 0
(12/07/2013) [-]
>be OP   
>live by myself   
>decide to beg for attention   
>buy small small, fake christmas tree (cant' afford a real one with my income)   
>buy dildo   
>come up with this story   
>take picture of dildo on tree   
>post on FJ   
>?????   
>PROFIT!!!
>be OP
>live by myself
>decide to beg for attention
>buy small small, fake christmas tree (cant' afford a real one with my income)
>buy dildo
>come up with this story
>take picture of dildo on tree
>post on FJ
>?????
>PROFIT!!!
#18 to #17 - damianblu [OP]
Reply +21
(12/07/2013) [-]
Honestly, I wish that were true and I didn't have to accompany my 60 year old mother in her accidentally buying a sex toy.

There were two of them.

I don't know where the second one is.

It haunts me in my every moment.
#27 to #18 - TarnRazor
Reply +3
(12/07/2013) [-]
He's one of those -400 trolls
#40 to #27 - dwarfish
Reply 0
(12/08/2013) [-]
Yeah i just thumb them up when i see them to make it a little bit harder for them. If they were atleast original i wouldve maybe helped them and thumbed them down, but acting purely retarded? nope.
#30 to #17 - thecowmastor
Reply +1
(12/07/2013) [-]
#59 to #17 - heartlessrobot
Reply 0
(12/08/2013) [-]
It's not a dildo, it's a vibrator!
#70 to #59 - sabcy
Reply 0
(12/08/2013) [-]
other than the obvious, is there a difference?
#73 to #70 - heartlessrobot
Reply 0
(12/08/2013) [-]
Also, dildos are soft, vibrators are hard.
#74 to #73 - sabcy
Reply 0
(12/08/2013) [-]
ah.
#72 to #70 - heartlessrobot
Reply 0
(12/08/2013) [-]
Typically, size. A vibrator can be almost any size, I wouldn't consider something a dildo if it's under 6 inches long, and an inch wide.
#47 to #17 - takesomemorewater
Reply 0
(12/08/2013) [-]
You can probably relate.
#45 to #17 - anon
Reply 0
(12/08/2013) [-]
Did you not feel retarded while writing that?
#43 to #17 - cshp
Reply 0
(12/08/2013) [-]
#60 to #2 - bladeguy
Reply 0
(12/08/2013) [-]
im guessing you are a boy. are you going to use it anyway?
#75 to #60 - damianblu [OP]
Reply 0
(12/08/2013) [-]
I'm straight so it isn't the time to use it.
#37 to #2 - seventh
Reply +1
(12/07/2013) [-]
I wonder where she's gonna store it off-season
#52 to #2 - yuukoku
Reply +1
(12/08/2013) [-]
Does she know what it is or have you been keeping that from her?
#56 to #52 - toosexyforyou
Reply 0
(12/08/2013) [-]
She's an adult, she ******* knows
#57 to #56 - yuukoku
Reply 0
(12/08/2013) [-]
You'd be surprised, man. You'd be surprised.
#39 to #2 - UnforgivingOne
Reply +4
(12/07/2013) [-]
And later. Other things.
#49 to #2 - lasmamoe
Reply +7
(12/08/2013) [-]
"Oh, you're telling me i accidentally bought a vibrator??"
"Yeah"
"Oh gosh! haha, im such a goofball.....silly me..... well im just gonna keep it, you know, as decoration..heh heh............ Mommy needs some alone time now son."
#10 to #2 - taurusguy ONLINE
Reply +16
(12/07/2013) [-]
Decorations for Christmas and something special for new years
#6 - badboyscout ONLINE
Reply +143
(12/07/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#34 to #6 - grimagination ONLINE
Reply -3
(12/07/2013) [-]
accident intensifies
#7 - mcderper ONLINE
Reply +78
(12/07/2013) [-]
"accidentally"
#8 to #7 - damianblu [OP]
Reply 0
(12/07/2013) [-]
No really. I was with her while she was getting them and she basically scooped the half of the ornament shelf into her shopping cart. It was in there with them.
#55 to #7 - satanisrealgod
Reply 0
(12/08/2013) [-]
happened to me 5 times.
#29 to #7 - saboteurvenom
Reply +1
(12/07/2013) [-]
"bought"
#54 to #29 - unncommon
Reply +1
(12/08/2013) [-]
"and"
#23 - kitchengypsy
Reply +53
(12/07/2013) [-]
I think we're all missing the big picture here....she bought it at a Thrift Store....that was probably in someone's butt at some point...
I think we're all missing the big picture here....she bought it at a Thrift Store....that was probably in someone's butt at some point...
#44 to #23 - anon
Reply 0
(12/08/2013) [-]
But ****, it was only 99 pence.
#13 - johncaveson **User deleted account**
Reply +37
(12/07/2013) [-]
I like my job...
#38 - UnforgivingOne
Reply +26
(12/07/2013) [-]
Gettin some pussay tonight.
#1 - swizzll
Reply +21
(12/07/2013) [-]
no but seriously, that's pretty funny
#3 to #1 - damianblu [OP]
Reply +2
(12/07/2013) [-]
I laughed my ass off for a solid 45 seconds.
#19 - zdoidi
Reply +9
(12/07/2013) [-]
"accidentally"
#33 - faithrider
Reply +8
(12/07/2013) [-]
"accidentally"amicoolnow?
#53 to #33 - vgmddg
Reply +5
(12/08/2013) [-]
No.
#41 - plumotje
Reply +6
(12/08/2013) [-]
wtf
why is he called pvt. private
and why not pvt. parts
it's painful to see such a good opportunity go to waste
#51 to #41 - loneranger
Reply 0
(12/08/2013) [-]
Because if I don't turn on my coffee maker my coffee will get cold.