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104 comments displayed.
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+207
#1 - tarabostes ONLINE (12/28/2015) [-]
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+18
#78 to #1 - satoshimiwa (12/29/2015) [-]
mfw goat chorizo
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+50
#30 - maxismahname (12/29/2015) [-]
This one was my favorite. It reminds of the ebola guy "I am growing stronger"
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+52
User avatar #2 - quantumranger (12/29/2015) [-]
I would like to say ass hair probably has the same function as eyelashes and nose hair, to keep debris out.
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+1
User avatar #106 to #2 - lapsushominum ONLINE (12/29/2015) [-]
My ass heh umption was that it prevents the cheeks from running together, hence why quadrupeds don't have ass hair nor buttcheeks, the way they're set up their muscles don't form cheeks so lucky bastards don't get **** stuck to them.
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+4
User avatar #20 to #2 - ohhellnaww (12/29/2015) [-]
Doesn't it discourage butts from having rashes?
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+8
#81 to #2 - anon (12/29/2015) [-]
Hair in those places, the secondary sex characteristics in humans, also help trap the 'debris' excreted from our skin. Not **** , but also not pheromones in the conventional form.

Cell components from cells that have undergone apoptosis are usually recycled, but whatever fluid that are left over can sometimes be bound by our immune cells. We piss and sweat those out. Some people theorize that that excretion via skin, coupled with the human major histocompatibility complex, and the fact that humans have bad noses, led to the preservation of hair in those places.

Seems logical, but why we would have hair on the ass and legs still baffles me. Anyone have more info or theories about this?
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+4
User avatar #90 to #81 - IHaveADHD (12/29/2015) [-]
**** happens.
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#99 to #81 - anon (12/29/2015) [-]
The hair also absorbs sweat. I hate shaving my balls cause that'she when they get all wet and get stuck to my leg and it'seems really uncomfortable.
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+9
User avatar #5 to #2 - onerace (12/29/2015) [-]
To keep dirt out our asses?
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+8
User avatar #7 to #5 - onerace (12/29/2015) [-]
Im pretty sure if I didn't have the hair I wouldn't wake up and have to **** dirt my friend.
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+7
#59 to #7 - hikakiller (12/29/2015) [-]
??
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+1
User avatar #79 to #7 - wrpen (12/29/2015) [-]
You would if you been sleeping in the ******* dirt, like the ****** that developed ass hairs.
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+49
#9 to #2 - rockstarownage (12/29/2015) [-]
that and to hold back all the precious dingleberries that may have escaped if you didn't have ass hair.

but yeah i remember reading a greentext one time about a guy shaving his asshairs and it turned his ass into a swamp. i couldn't find the post, but i found the story here in this link.
www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/35274458.html
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+15
User avatar #31 to #9 - YllekNayr ONLINE (12/29/2015) [-]
I've removed all the hair from my ass multiple times, and it hasn't been an issue for me whatsoever. Not even any discomfort as they grow back.
Maybe it's because I'm not a fat **** , but I really don't see how he would have any of those problems.
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+1
#33 to #31 - rockstarownage (12/29/2015) [-]
i could see how there would be an issue of discomfort as it grows back, what with the constant rubbing. i shaved my legs once and every time my legs rubbed together it was was just miserable
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User avatar #35 to #33 - YllekNayr ONLINE (12/29/2015) [-]
My legs are also a great deal hairier than my ass
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+1
#36 to #35 - rockstarownage (12/29/2015) [-]
totally honest, my ass is kind of a forest, but i would guess my legs are a slight bit hairer than my ass.
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User avatar #37 to #31 - civilizedwasteland (12/29/2015) [-]
did you remove the hair between your ass crack or just on your cheeks?
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User avatar #38 to #37 - YllekNayr ONLINE (12/29/2015) [-]
.......I don't HAVE any on my cheeks
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User avatar #40 to #39 - YllekNayr ONLINE (12/29/2015) [-]
There is no hair to remove from my cheeks because none grows there
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User avatar #47 to #40 - epicalania (12/29/2015) [-]
Are you a woman? Because on men theres usually some hair at least, women don't normally have hair on the cheeks
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User avatar #50 to #47 - YllekNayr ONLINE (12/29/2015) [-]
Nope. I'm a guy.
There's really just not any hair there.
Like, there's the normal really thin covering of hair that's less than a centimeter long, that grows everywhere, you know? But nothing you can see or feel.
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-1
User avatar #87 to #50 - ilovehitler (12/29/2015) [-]
My ass-hair brother.
Feels good not having ass-hair, unlike these plebs.
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User avatar #52 to #50 - epicalania (12/29/2015) [-]
Thats kinda weird.
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User avatar #53 to #52 - YllekNayr ONLINE (12/29/2015) [-]
I'm not a very hairy guy, just in general.
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+1
User avatar #61 to #53 - molzy (12/29/2015) [-]
Ass hair is completely unforgiving because you can have absolutely no hair anywhere, no arm hair, leg hair, barely armpit hair and a behind as smooth as a baby butt. However, you could have an Amazonian jungle between the cheeks, I've heard that's many the case for Asian dudes.
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User avatar #46 to #40 - imofcnotharveydent (12/29/2015) [-]
then did you, or did you not remove all your hair from your ass? 'cuse that's what we pondering about
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User avatar #48 to #46 - YllekNayr ONLINE (12/29/2015) [-]
>>#31

I already told you I did
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User avatar #49 to #48 - imofcnotharveydent (12/29/2015) [-]
with a scissor or do you pull 'em by hand?
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User avatar #51 to #49 - YllekNayr ONLINE (12/29/2015) [-]
Neither, actually.
Scissors would be impossible to angle, and by hand sounds barbaric and painful.
I used Veet
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User avatar #54 to #51 - imofcnotharveydent (12/29/2015) [-]
hair removal cream? that exists?
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User avatar #55 to #54 - YllekNayr ONLINE (12/29/2015) [-]
Dude, yeah.
It's actually been quite effective.
Can't think of a better way to remove hair from your ass.
Not like you can really SEE down there, anyways.
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User avatar #57 to #55 - imofcnotharveydent (12/29/2015) [-]
this can be very useful, always thought that hair was nasty now I only need to buy it without suspicion
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+1
#60 to #57 - YllekNayr ONLINE (12/29/2015) [-]
The only place I've managed to find it in stock is Target
This is the specific kind I've been using
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#91 to #9 - kulamia ONLINE (12/29/2015) [-]
Funny, I have shaved my ass hair and had not noticed anything really bad.

But after reading that I do believe that perhaps I should just let it grow back so I don't get as much swamp-ass from all the sweat from my lower-back/ass that rolls down into my cheeks/gooch.
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+24
#8 - krynax (12/29/2015) [-]
Wait.. in which country do the cashiers bag your groceries?
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#96 to #8 - rousingloki (12/29/2015) [-]
I guess wal-mart is its own country. I think Meijers actually does the same thing too
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+1
User avatar #92 to #8 - fukinitech (12/29/2015) [-]
uhm the one that i work in in charleston, sc we bag all their groceries for them. if they want paper or want it bagged in their own bags we bag it all, it ******* sucks cause most the time we dont have baggers and cashiers gotta scan and bag its ******
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+2
User avatar #73 to #8 - blueboysixnine ONLINE (12/29/2015) [-]
They do it in australia. When they scan them they put it into a bag and when the bag is fill they put it on a little table part for you to pick up
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+3
#19 to #8 - froggernaught (12/29/2015) [-]
In America, mostly walmart, they bag the groceries for you as they are ringing up your groceries. It works.
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+3
User avatar #25 to #8 - epicralph (12/29/2015) [-]
Farmers country markets/ albertsons/ oh and every superwalmart.
USA.
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+4
#58 to #8 - hikakiller (12/29/2015) [-]
Everywhere in the us, from what I've seen.
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+6
User avatar #65 to #8 - Her (12/29/2015) [-]
In America.
it doesn't take as long as you think.
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+13
User avatar #10 to #8 - paradoxofnight (12/29/2015) [-]
United States
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-2
User avatar #11 to #10 - krynax (12/29/2015) [-]
But.. what if there is a line? that would take ages wth
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+19
User avatar #17 to #11 - ohhellnaww (12/29/2015) [-]
They bag each item right after scanning.
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+7
User avatar #13 to #11 - butteredhamster ONLINE (12/29/2015) [-]
Many stores hire teenagers to be baggers. Whose whole job is to bag groceries for customers and retrieve carts from the parking lot.
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+2
User avatar #70 to #13 - tarabostes ONLINE (12/29/2015) [-]
I'd put my kart in your parking lot if you noamsayin' ;)
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+1
User avatar #12 to #11 - miscreant (12/29/2015) [-]
The cashiers aren't doing it (at least as far as I know), they have designated baggers.
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User avatar #21 to #12 - TomPorowski (12/29/2015) [-]
I work at Dollar Tree, I have to cashier and bag. It's usually not a problem, holidays are when it gets bad though. Worst is when manager will be on the phone with corporate or something and the other cashier out on break when suddenly someone wants to buy 100 items. It's horrifying how quickly a buildup of customers can form behind a quantity buyer.

Also at my local Walmart the cashiers also bag items, which is awful because at the times I go there for grocery shopping there are usually one or if we're lucky two registers open at a time.
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+1
User avatar #104 to #21 - butteredhamster ONLINE (12/29/2015) [-]
I hate when that happens at Walmart. Why do they build, like, 20 registers and only have one or two open? Idiotic!
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0
User avatar #24 to #21 - miscreant (12/29/2015) [-]
I suppose you don't live in a very big town? Anyway, sucks to hear that mate. Sounds like a really stressful job.
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+1
User avatar #26 to #24 - TomPorowski (12/29/2015) [-]
Yeah it's on the smaller side, a bit over 16000. Store I work at isn't usually super busy, but Walmart has no excuse for running bare minimum. It's still busy at the 7PM to 11PM hours, and I know they're not short staffed. At the same time I'm shopping I'm bumping into an army of shelf stockers.

It doesn't break down into anarchy though, so I guess if it works at minimum it'll be done at minimum.
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+1
User avatar #27 to #26 - miscreant (12/29/2015) [-]
I suppose that if you can lay the extra work on your employees instead of the customers or the higher-ups, it will be done.
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#68 to #26 - anon (12/29/2015) [-]
I know there's tons of small towns in the united states and all but it kept tripping me out cause the more information you gave the more it sounded like the ONLY town in the USA i've ever been to which has roughly the same population
it made me feel weird for a second
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User avatar #14 to #12 - krynax (12/29/2015) [-]
Why don't customers bag their own stuff?
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User avatar #85 to #14 - acebuck (12/29/2015) [-]
Because cashiers are really fast at it.
It's not like you stand there awkwardly.
You take the bags as they fill up and put them in your cart.
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User avatar #15 to #14 - miscreant (12/29/2015) [-]
Probably the same reason so many big market chains have in-door scooters. It was good for disabled people at some point but the fatties have decided that everything good is theirs.
I'm just guessing though.
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+2
#22 to #15 - anon (12/29/2015) [-]
No? It's faster to do it with baggers in case you have slow-ass customers or fussy customers or OCD customers or... really anything but a fast customer line.

Everyone always blames the fatties. They got enough problems putting the hamburger down, they don't need you.
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User avatar #23 to #22 - miscreant (12/29/2015) [-]
It's amazing how bagging your own stuff seems to work in every other country. What are the odds.
I eat fast food about 3 times per week because I ******* love it even if I know it's not good for me. I sure as hell don't blame other people for it though or ask anyone to accommodate for me.
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#16 to #15 - krynax (12/29/2015) [-]
GIF
in-door scooters???
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+2
#18 to #16 - miscreant (12/29/2015) [-]
Oh man, you've missed some good stuff.
Most big chains have these and they were initially made for people with disabilities.
However, if you google *Big market chain* scooters, 90% of the result will be what I'm sending here.
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+1
User avatar #88 to #18 - ilovehitler (12/29/2015) [-]
The fats should be boiled in lard.
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+32
#4 - richardastley ONLINE (12/29/2015) [-]
Is this one supposed to be funny? I really don't get it.
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+29
#29 to #4 - notafunnyguy (12/29/2015) [-]
Its just saying people who shout world star are uneducated dropouts
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+15
User avatar #84 to #29 - thrifty (12/29/2015) [-]
I thought it was more like, things we'll have to explain when we're old, like 'dad what's this weird looking frog; dad who's jon cena; dad why does this cartoon man have a penis on his rear-end?'

WHY AREN'T YOU IN SCHOOL?

It's saturday dad....
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+2
User avatar #83 to #29 - richardastley ONLINE (12/29/2015) [-]
Ah I see. Thanks!
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+5
#86 - winniedawho (12/29/2015) [-]
Probably the ending of One Piece.
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+5
User avatar #94 to #86 - metacobalion (12/29/2015) [-]
If it ******* ends like that I'm going to be so ******* pissed.
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+2
#97 to #94 - Mr Unsmiley (12/29/2015) [-]
TURNS OUT THE ONE PIECE WAS LUFFY'S HAT ALL ALONG
TURNS OUT THE ONE PIECE WAS LUFFY'S HAT ALL ALONG
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#103 to #94 - anon (12/29/2015) [-]
the creator confirmed that he wouldn't pull some **** like that, there would be an actual treasure or some ****
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+1
#105 to #103 - anon (12/29/2015) [-]
THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT HE WANTS US TO THINK
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User avatar #101 to #94 - feelythefeel (12/29/2015) [-]
I always figured that the One Piece is one piece.

You know, of gold?
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User avatar #102 to #101 - metacobalion (12/29/2015) [-]
I always thought it was something like there was only one piece left because he spent all of it.
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+3
#66 - imalex ONLINE (12/29/2015) [-]
Am i the only one noticing that black tweets are really "primary" in humor compared to white tweets?
now im not trying to push any stereotypes but..
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+4
User avatar #80 to #66 - redclover (12/29/2015) [-]
I find them equally funny
I like the sometimes witty humor of these tweets
and I also like the simplicity of black tweets
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+8
User avatar #75 to #66 - theugandanhero (12/29/2015) [-]
These are funnier by far.
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#72 - anon (12/29/2015) [-]
The one about the delivery driver is kind of ****** .

As a guy who has worked as a delivery driver, usually the only reason your food is late, is because the kitchen ****** up and had to redo an item. Its barely ever the drivers fault.
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+6
#82 to #72 - saintnovember (12/29/2015) [-]
"It's not fair. But it's what I doing"

Reading comprehension off the charts. below the ******* x-axis.
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+3
#63 - demonicknighty (12/29/2015) [-]
This has me so conflicted on whether the father was white or black since he was there I guess he must be white
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+3
#62 - kanekoa (12/29/2015) [-]
That pirate one though.
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+8
#89 - morelazors (12/29/2015) [-]
I like how these are actually funny instead of just TBH NO CHILL WHEN YOU IN DA CLUB FAMMM SIDE CHICK SUKKIN MAH DICK NO CHILL FAM CHECK MY MIXTAPE FIRE **** YOOOOOOOOOO TRUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
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+3
User avatar #28 - zaggystirdust (12/29/2015) [-]
Anyone else not find this @dril guy as funny as the internet makes him seem?

It just seems like he's been repeating **** off a scene kid's myspace.
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+1
User avatar #34 to #28 - YllekNayr ONLINE (12/29/2015) [-]
There's like, one single tweet of his in this comp.
How is that an accurate judgement of his humor?
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+1
User avatar #41 to #34 - zaggystirdust (12/29/2015) [-]
You haven't seen his other tweets before?
This one was just an example of how unfunny he seems.
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+2
User avatar #42 to #41 - YllekNayr ONLINE (12/29/2015) [-]
Maybe?

I don't tend to pay much attention to the names of people online, tbh.
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+2
#71 to #28 - tarabostes ONLINE (12/29/2015) [-]
Anyone else not find this @zaggystridust gal as funny as FJ makes her seem?


It just seems she's repeating **** off a scene kid's tumblr
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+1
User avatar #95 to #71 - zaggystirdust (12/29/2015) [-]
People think I'm funny?
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User avatar #107 to #95 - tarabostes ONLINE (12/29/2015) [-]
Yes zaggy , I think you're hilarious!
Now let's make out!
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+3
User avatar #67 - foop (12/29/2015) [-]
Vader Chokes Stormtrooper.

Stormtrooperh yeah harder Daddy.
Vader:What?
Stormtrooper:What?
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+1
User avatar #76 to #67 - theugandanhero (12/29/2015) [-]
Meh.
You could've just posted the picture for it
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+1
#32 - captainbalu (12/29/2015) [-]
**captainbalu used "*roll picture*"**
**captainbalu rolled image** As much as i love black tweets i gotta admit white tweets are funny too and more intelligent.
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+1
User avatar #6 - RoboticEyebrow (12/29/2015) [-]
I dont get the bruce willis one or the ceiling fan baby carrots one. Jokexplain? Jokeexplain?
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User avatar #56 to #6 - evanraz (12/29/2015) [-]
I think the Bruce Willis one was funny just acuz it'd be pretty humorous to watch the top of Bruce Willis' head float on by at a low level. He's always got that scowl, you know. His brow would be furrowed and whatever.

And the baby carrot one was just that no one cries and does anything related to tying their pants to the ceiling fan or baby carrots. inb4 Maybe anyone YOU know So it's just kind of out there and weird to imagine why they would do that.
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-2
#43 - thefallenlord (12/29/2015) [-]
Does he means like this?
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-7
#74 - anon (12/29/2015) [-]
these tweets are all garbage
at least ****** tweets arent autistic
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User avatar #77 to #74 - theugandanhero (12/29/2015) [-]
LOL!
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#100 - omegadynasty (12/29/2015) [-]
GIF
Meanwhile on the highway to the danger zone.
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#93 - ogthegreat (12/29/2015) [-]
The GoGurt one.
12>
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