One in the hand, is worth five online. Sorry for the length, not all stories will be this long.. OK guys, here is my first story, to recap, I work in the I Hind
Home Original Content Funny Pictures Funny GIFs YouTube Funny Text Funny Movies Channels Search

hide menu

One in the hand, is worth five online

Sorry for the length, not all stories will be this long.

OK guys, here is my first story, to recap, I work in the I Hindustan, I
specialize in data recovery and onsite repairs of computers. However this
story takes place during my trainee year as a tech for
one of Australia is leading electrical outlets.
Ffirst year on the job.
gno bad customers, learning how to fix ****
aif' its viruses, back the data up, wipe it.
iwork with three other guys in a very small office,
a club 4/ atnight, tech by day, Freddie: who had the
moustache of Freddie mercury, and our tech manager.
aall pretty chill dudes, not your typical neckbeards.
working repair front counter one day when Douchebad walks in
ggu. y wears skinny cargo pants, an extra small wif' ebba ter, and one of
those stupid caps with a tin I pointless brim,
off the mark this guy blames me for his
you sold me apiece of' **** "
sorry sir, I don T work in sales, but I' m sure whoever sold it didn' t
know it was faulty"
yhe slaps it on the counter demands it be fixed and then storms out
before he can sign an I paperwork.
llook him up; is like tr months old.
tthanks to backlog it doesn T get touched for a week.
struts back in "where' s my **** , bro? "
llet him know that the backlog means it hasn T been fixed yet.
gguy flips his **** , starts calling me all sorts of names, including fallacy
nerd.
m actually fairly athletic, plus I don T a **** what he says.
to convince him that if he didn' t storm off the first time, he
would have been told of the delay,
gget him to sign his paper work and he storms out again.
aas he walks out he snaps his fingers, points them like a pistol and winks
at the cashier.
onze. gif'
pput his laptop on the workbench.
aits riddled with viruses, back his data up, and his laptop
his data backup for viruses and delete about half' of' it.
icall him up, tell him to collect it.
aanother week later he comes to collect it.
facts all high and mighty about howie knew we sold him faulty ****
from happy, to ******* angry when we give him a bill
warranty doesn T cover virus issues..
ttake him to the cashier to pay his bill
asks the cashier for her number and gets shot down
ttry not to laugh at him, wish him all the best and wave bye.
ttwo days later he is back, same virus issues,
gflops his ****
you fat faggots didn T fix anything!"
ttell him it worked fine but would skip the que to be fixed again
to take legal action ifit' s not ready tomorrow
even look atit, wipe it, data back on, call him up
yhe arrives that same afternoon to collect it.
tbells me how worthless I am and how society has no need for nerds
pstart to get angry but he' s leaving so we send him home
aanother week later Freddie is getting screamed at on the phone
aits Douchebad, same issues as the last two times.
says to bring it in.
ssame approach as the last visit but this time the manager handles it
same day repair
wwe Te backlogged more than ever but it' s an easy fix.
yhe demands a free external HDD to save his data on so he doesn T lose
any
fgets what he wants and lea ves.
our days later clubber mentions Douchebad and his likely porn habits
later Douchebad is standing at the desk screaming at Freddie
comes out tells him to calm down,
says he is going home to calla Current Affair (local news)
is visibly pissed off
twalks into tech area, slams laptop down
let' s see what this ' does with his spare time"
appens browser history.
aon. four sites, all about finding people to have sex with in your area
oopen photo folder,
mthree photos,
aone dressed, one standing in the mirror naked,
photo takes the cake
calls us all in to see,
aits Douchebad sitting on a beanbag holding his erect member
oposing with duck lips and winking
ull flex of every muscle.... literally all of them.
we all laugh,
aall his virus problems coming from one or more of his sites.
decides we can T say anything to him about it directly
suecide we will just tell him it' s his browsing habits
comes to collect
yhe’ s bragging about howie is going to be rich from legal action
against us
walks past gives him a nod and says "nice abs bro"
ttry to not to piss myself
visibly confused, as he is wearing a shirt.
I get stuck with dealing with him
ttell him the issue is his browsing habits
jpg
wha t bro ssing ha bi ts? "
P'' the... sites... that you visit.... some of them are full obviouses"
DON 'T' . 91 TANA BAD SITES Y FAGGOTVILLE ****** /”
closes his mind. Punching the counter, shoving my keyboard off my
bench.
finally cracks the ***** and storms out
tbells Douchebad to calm down
T' this counter and smash your head in"
estore full of 'people now watching
starts to yell back.
if' you weren T constantly browsing the internet for somebody to **** ,
and posting pictures of yourself with your dick in your hand you
wouldn T ha any issues in the first pla ! "
goes pale.
llong, awkward silence.
takes his laptop and goes to storm out.
makes eye contact with the cashier
heard the whole thing, pisses herself la urging.
ahalf' the store, including customers, breaks out in laughter.
knever hear from douchebad again.
If you guys would like more stories like this, Ill post a few story topics
in the comments and you can tell me which story you would like next.
Tripsta
...
  • Recommend tagsx
+4181
Views: 157251
Favorited: 677
Submitted: 01/21/2014
Share On Facebook
Add to favorites Subscribe to tripscausedthis E-mail to friend submit to reddit

Comments(690):

[ 690 comments ]

Show All Replies Show Shortcuts
Show:   Top Rated Controversial Best Lowest Rated Newest Per page:
Order:
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #2 - tripscausedthis ONLINE (01/21/2014) [+] (199 replies)
stickied by tripscausedthis
Future stories I can tell

*Swedish Erotica
*The thankful youth
*The mother, daughter tag-team
*My worst customer ever

whichever one receives the most votes I'll upload next. I have hundreds of stories after 7 years, 4 jobs, and self employment in this industry and will continue to tell them for as long as I have an audience.
User avatar #508 - tripscausedthis ONLINE (01/21/2014) [+] (7 replies)
stickied by tripscausedthis
#20 - fizzor (01/21/2014) [+] (2 replies)
This was ******* great. Next I totally wanna hear about the mother daughter tag-team.
#18 - skullball (01/21/2014) [-]
Awesome story! And i demand the *Swedish Erotica nex!
#232 - rawrursaurus (01/21/2014) [+] (7 replies)
Manager when he finally snaps. 						**********					 douchebro.   
10/10 op, if you ever need some good ol' british tea, im your chap.
Manager when he finally snaps. ********** douchebro.
10/10 op, if you ever need some good ol' british tea, im your chap.
#236 to #232 - manager (01/21/2014) [-]
Mfw I finally snap
Mfw I finally snap
User avatar #15 - navywannabe (01/21/2014) [-]
AAAANNNNNDDD...subscribed.
#93 - bigredthunder (01/21/2014) [-]
Swedish Erotic!
#59 - hamblaster (01/21/2014) [-]
Did you happen to catch the url of his websites? just kidding, please don't tell me
User avatar #376 - vedomajkatrololol (01/21/2014) [+] (7 replies)
Half of this is made up...Probably based off a true story
#388 to #376 - luckyspirit (01/21/2014) [-]
I didn't realize you worked with OP in the exact same store. How amazing!

Even if it is fake (which I doubt), it's still funny and its better than half the **** we normally see on this site. Leave the guy alone and let him share his stories.
#10 - alexjonez (01/21/2014) [-]
Swedish Erotica, bitch
User avatar #134 - terafyde (01/21/2014) [+] (4 replies)
Was funny, the colour on the background with the colour of the text is horrible to look at.
HOWEVER IT WAS STILL DAMN GOOD.
THE MOTHER DAUGHTER TAG TEAM NEXT!
#214 - legendofbearo ONLINE (01/21/2014) [-]
Behold, yet another great series on Funny Junk begins, let us all stay tuned for this miraculous tale!
Behold, yet another great series on Funny Junk begins, let us all stay tuned for this miraculous tale!
#574 - kizumiakirax (01/22/2014) [-]
Dude, I haven't logged on a long time.  I did just now so I can tell you that YOU MUST KEEP THESE COMING.  I NEED THIS.
Dude, I haven't logged on a long time. I did just now so I can tell you that YOU MUST KEEP THESE COMING. I NEED THIS.
#553 - nolana (01/21/2014) [+] (1 reply)
**nolana rolled a random image posted in comment #385026 at Friendly ** is this the manager?
#557 to #553 - manager (01/22/2014) [-]
Yes, this is Manager.
#531 - yuukoku (01/21/2014) [+] (2 replies)
>At some small-town grocery store during a trip to see family   
>Happen to be wearing the same colored shirt as the employees   
>Some douche bag wearing a sideways snapback runs up to me and freaks out   
>Says he bought the wrong flavor of chips and some other 						****					   
>Makes a huge scene. Doesn't let me explain myself for like five minutes   
>"I don't know you, ass hat! I don't even work here"   
>He just stares at me and tells me that it was some chink that sold it to him   
>He goes off on some tangent about how we all look alike   
>See a few employees about to get the manager, one of them is Asian and just gives me a look like "I would hit him if I could."   
>He turns and leans to look at what I'm looking at   
>Swift kick to the groin   
>Grab neck and smash head into cereal aisle   
>Pull him out and throw him at a the counter where some girl jumps back and just stares   
>Douchebag is lying on the ground about to vomit   
>Everyone in the store just stares at him and the manager is running from the back room   
>Asian employee is just staring and smiling   
>Look at him, sputter out "I'm not apologizing!"   
>Run like 						****					 to my car, speed off in the direction of home   
>MFW they still haven't caught me
>At some small-town grocery store during a trip to see family
>Happen to be wearing the same colored shirt as the employees
>Some douche bag wearing a sideways snapback runs up to me and freaks out
>Says he bought the wrong flavor of chips and some other ****
>Makes a huge scene. Doesn't let me explain myself for like five minutes
>"I don't know you, ass hat! I don't even work here"
>He just stares at me and tells me that it was some chink that sold it to him
>He goes off on some tangent about how we all look alike
>See a few employees about to get the manager, one of them is Asian and just gives me a look like "I would hit him if I could."
>He turns and leans to look at what I'm looking at
>Swift kick to the groin
>Grab neck and smash head into cereal aisle
>Pull him out and throw him at a the counter where some girl jumps back and just stares
>Douchebag is lying on the ground about to vomit
>Everyone in the store just stares at him and the manager is running from the back room
>Asian employee is just staring and smiling
>Look at him, sputter out "I'm not apologizing!"
>Run like **** to my car, speed off in the direction of home
>MFW they still haven't caught me
#541 to #531 - shitflippingpattie (01/21/2014) [-]
They probably haven't caught you because you all look alike.
#44 - lewisrobilliard **User deleted account** (01/21/2014) [+] (4 replies)
Professional Australian here
>A Current Afair
>News
Pick one
#494 - olizandri (01/21/2014) [-]
I'm not even joking, that was ******* magnificent.
#437 - keybladewarrior ONLINE (01/21/2014) [-]
>7 hours   
>Front page   
   
You glorious bastard.    
 Tag team then Swede Erotica
>7 hours
>Front page

You glorious bastard.
Tag team then Swede Erotica
#41 - sinisterlion ONLINE (01/21/2014) [-]
That was great! Take my thumbs
Looking forward to seeing more. Stories on FJ make my day like nothing else
The mother, daughter tag team
#284 - include (01/21/2014) [-]
YFW
[ 690 comments ]
Leave a comment
 Friends (0)