Old people in the military
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Man Posts Best Response Ever After Being
Rejected By The Military. This is Priceless.
I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I' m too old
to track down terrorists. You can' t be older than 42 to
join the military. They' got the whole thing
Instead of sending olds off to fight, they ought
to take us old guys. You shouldn' t be able to join a
military unit until you' re at least 35.
For starters, researchers say think about
sex every ten seconds. Old guys only think about sex
a couple of times a month, leaving us more than
280, 000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on
Young guys haven' t lived long enough to be cranky,
and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back
hurts! I can' t sleep, I' m tired and hungry.' Were bad-
tempered and impatient, and maybe letting us kill
some "mole that desperately deserves it will make
us feel better and shut us up for a while.....
An doesn' t even like to get up before
Old guys always get up early to pee, so what
the hell. Besides, like I said, I' m tired and can' t sleep
and since I' m already up, I may as well be up killing
some fanatical .
If captured we couldn' t spill the beans because we' d
forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and
serial number would be a real brainteaser.
Boot camp would be easier for old guys.... We' re
used to getting screamed and yelled at and we' re
used to soft food. We' also developed an
appreciation for guns. We' been using them for
years as an excuse to get out of the house, away
from the screaming and yelling.
They could lighten up on the obstacle course
however..... l' been in combat and never saw a
single wall with rope hanging over the side,
nor did I ever do any after completing basic
Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy,
too..... I' never seen anyone outrun a bullet.
An has the whole world ahead of him.
He' s still learning to shave or to start a conversation
with a pretty girl. He still hasn' t figured out that a
baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the
back of his head.
These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home
to learn a little more about life before sending them
off into harm' s way.
Let us old guys track down those terrorists..... The
last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple
million hacked off old farts with bad attitudes and
automatic weapons, who know that their best years
are already behind them.
HEY.". How about recruiting Women over 50.... in
menopause! You think MEN have attitudes?
my goodness!!! If nothing else, put them
on border patrol. They' ll have it secured the first night!
Send this to all of your senior friends in big type so
they can read it.