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Back to the content 'Not sure if nice or naive.'
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asd
2
new threads.
1
new replies.
#2
-
tuhuar
Reply
+166
(03/20/2017)
[-]
My father walked out when I was like 2, don't remember anything about him and he never once paid child support. I'm going on 22 now, and it's still one of my biggest desires to track him down, roadtrip out to where he lives, and just have a beer with him, pick his brain. I wanna know his side of it. Chances are I'll leave knowing he's a prick, but honestly I just want the closure.
Although after all these student loans the ******** of cash I'm owed wouldn't hurt either
#121
to #2
-
anon
id:
1e36d2a8
Reply
+1
(03/21/2017)
[-]
I have the same situation, my father left after I was born. My mother told me that he said he wasn't ready for a family, even though he was married. One day she gets a call from him asking if we can meet up, and my mother and I agree to it. Its a big deal since he has to travel from mexico to the united states, and since I was turning 10 in 3 months I wanted to see if I had any feelings whatsoever towards him. So when we finally meet he chooses a 7-11, and when we finally see each other face to face I realize that I have no emotions towards him. No anger, no happiness, no joy, nothing, I didnt understand it. So we talk for about 10 minutes then he leaves, and my mom finally gets closure but I just felt so weird and to this day that bothers me. I am now 23 and he hasnt tried to contact me ever since.
#118
to #2
-
dielow
Reply
0
(03/21/2017)
[-]
My father left when I was seven and took my siblings with him to stay with the family he'd had in secret for about four years. It broke my mother who'd had a six figure job and lost it due to the emotional impact. Fast forward to when I was thirteen and my mom gets prison for possession and I get sent to live with the stranger of a father. I had hoped for bonding and reconciliation. Nope, locks me in a bedroom for a year only letting me out for friends, food, school and bathroom needs. Much more happened, but it could've always been worse. Be careful about seeking anything from him. It could help or just open up a whole new can of issues.
#101
to #2
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catburglarpenis
#9
on comments
Rank
#9
Reply
+1
(03/21/2017)
[-]
Same with my pops, except I was 3 and he came around about once a year if I was lucky. His side of the story is ****, but his wife had 5 kids and her tubes tied before they met. He knows how to be a dad now, and his reason for running away was ****** af.
But my stepsiblings call him dad.
That ***** still owe me like 64k in child support fam I'll kill a man for that kinda money I don't care how chill he is real talk
#100
to #2
-
alphagex
Reply
+3
(03/21/2017)
[-]
Click to show spoiler
In this picture it will be revealed everything about your father.
#92
to #2
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likerofbutts
Reply
+2
(03/21/2017)
[-]
Do it. ******* do it as soon as you can. My bio father died a couple years back. I never met the dude, and I regret it constantly.
#62
to #2
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thegamepixel
Reply
+1
(03/21/2017)
[-]
Its kind of scummy to just appear one day and ask for money. If he wasn't involved in your life I don't know why he would owe you anything.
Otherwise, good luck.
#83
to #62
-
tuhuar
Reply
+7
(03/21/2017)
[-]
It's even more scummy to have a child and then abandon it.
I didn't say I was gonna hunt him down for his money. Basically the opposite, in fact. But no, he does owe me. He sired a child and then left without providing anything for it, so my mom and I were poor as **** growing up. Even if he didn't make much, he sacrificed us in order to save himself, which is ********. I'll never forgive him for it, but honestly I'm probably better off as a person not having had a father like that involved in raising me.
What I meant by the spoiler was that having the $250k+ in back child support I'm owed would be ******* amazing, but having never had it I can't really miss it, y'know?
#87
to #83
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thegamepixel
Reply
-1
(03/21/2017)
[-]
I feel for you man, and I'm not saying that abandoning you wasn't a crappy thing to do. I get that you're not super serious about getting back all that child support, all I'm saying is that I don't think he should be forced by the government to pay any money and that asking for it at this point is kind of rude even if it is more than justified. Also, I think it would be a better statement to show that you didn't need him then and still don't now.
#51
to #2
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becauseoprahsaidso
#401
on comments
Rank
#401
Reply
+5
(03/21/2017)
[-]
anon....I'm your dad
#30
to #2
-
pesteredchum
Reply
0
(03/21/2017)
[-]
bro my dad left when i was 3 and only ever called to ask when him having to pay would stop T= i feel ya man it sounds like u didnt have much of a figure but ill tell it to u from my side its best to not have the constant dissapoinment growing up of yay dads coming and then him cancel last minute im 22 as well so its kinda interesting to me how we had similar circumstance with just one detail changed
#18
to #2
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foodyquest
#141
on content
Rank
#141
Reply
+2
(03/20/2017)
[-]
I was 2 when my dad was out of my life. But that was because of cancer.
#15
to #2
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kenshirokisame
Reply
+1
(03/20/2017)
[-]
Technically, you can sue if i was told correctly
#47
to #15
-
wallbuilder
#311
on comments
Rank
#311
Reply
+1
(03/21/2017)
[-]
People who try to game the legal system disgust me.
#48
to #47
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kenshirokisame
Reply
+1
(03/21/2017)
[-]
it's not a matter of gaming the system, but if he wanted to claim money that is technically owed to him, I believe he has grounds to claim. Lawyers on here feel free to correct me. or if you present laws or cases claiming its not true, feel free to show me.
#49
to #48
-
wallbuilder
#311
on comments
Rank
#311
Reply
+3
(03/21/2017)
[-]
He said he wants to talk to him and the first thing you say is he can sue him.
#50
to #49
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kenshirokisame
Reply
+2
(03/21/2017)
[-]
well **** me for stating its possible. I guess I misread the spoiler
#84
to #50
-
tuhuar
Reply
+1
(03/21/2017)
[-]
Yeah, it's possible for sure. Even child services has basically been tracking him every time he moves, since he owes like $250k in child support, but the money's secondary. Don't get me wrong, if I could snap my fingers and make it so that he actually started paying me I would, but I've gone my whole life without it so it doesn't bother me too much.
#14
to #2
-
surrandre
Reply
+5
(03/20/2017)
[-]
My dad has never met his biological father. He's talked to him on the phone once for 20 minutes. He's 53.
The prick left before he was born, never paid any child support
Not that my grandmother wanted any
didn't even sign the birth certificate.
A few months ago dad decided to track him down and get his phone number, mostly to call and ask about any health issues that would run in the family. That ended wonderfully.
Turns out the ********* left and married another woman before dad was born, had kids with her later on and everything. She died of cancer 3 days before dad called him, so this irredeemable sack of **** starts telling him off for
TRYING TO CONTACT HIS FATHER.
At least we now know that his side has no major health concerns, so I guess that's a plus.
#13
to #2
-
zipov
#115
on comments
Rank
#115
Reply
+2
(03/20/2017)
[-]
Yeh, cause that always go great.
#7
to #2
-
anon
id:
7774d17b
Reply
+8
(03/20/2017)
[-]
Posting as anon.
Left BEFORE I was born. I'm in the same boat as you.
But, I'm a bit more angry. I want to throttle him and ask him what the hell is wrong with him. Why did he do the same thing HIS dad did to him? Why would you go marry some tramp with a daughter that was my age now, 18, and dote the **** out of her when you flat-out denied my existence, your one ONLY daughter? Why did you get sterilized right after I was born, was it to prevent more mistakes?
But most of all I'm angry at him for how he used my mother. She's a good ******* person, she'd give the last shirt off her back for someone that had none. She didn't deserve to have her love USED for his own benefit and then thrown away.
I'm not angry at him for my own sake, because you can't miss what you never had. I just want justice for my mom, dammit.
#4
to #2
-
fiahhawt
Reply
+10
(03/20/2017)
[-]
if you're hoping for anything other than heartache prepare for disappointment - he probably doesn't give a **** about you. I don't say that to be mean, but you'd be better off trying to understand yourself in a context that does not include whatever kind of piece of **** your dad is.
#9
to #4
-
tuhuar
Reply
+5
(03/20/2017)
[-]
Oh, I know. I mean, it doesn't really bother me, and it's not like I really need to see him, but from everything I've heard from my family he was just an average dude. Part of me wants to meet him just for the sake of it, and part of it's because I kinda want to show him that he ****** up.
I remember a few years ago, DCFS (Illinois' child protection department, basically) told us that they knew where he was but they couldn't start collecting money from him because he was in a different state and they had to jump through a bunch of hoops to get to him, long story. Point is, we found out he was living in some ******** town in ******* Oklahoma working at a ****** motel for probably barely minimum wage. I want to find him and rub it in his face a little, make him see that me and my mom turned out alright and he really ****** himself over. Just see a bit of poetic justice done in the world.
#127
to #9
-
animationhac
Reply
+1
(03/21/2017)
[-]
If your father is like mine, he'll take your success as his. You're his son after all so he can brag about how well you turned out. I honestly think you shouldn't try. Asshole fathers will still try to twist it to how great you are and ****. I know mine thinks its great to brag to his friends about how wonderful my siblings and I are.
He's a dick, tried killing my family (legit) and rn is working as a police offficer and helping kids with ****** fathers and acting like their father role (idk something like big brother but like a big dad instead??). Thanks asshole.
Also if your dad is like mine, he'll ask for money and ****. I wouldn't suggest you showing how well off w/o him you are.
#3
to #2
-
Corndoggeh
Reply
+6
(03/20/2017)
[-]
I wouldn't if I were you. I remember my mother helping a friend help track down his biological parents and he discovered his father was an old school frat kind of guy that had knocked up his mom in a bathroom and overdosed on drugs weeks later and the mom had no remorse in abandoning him when he was only a few months old. It opened up a lot of mental wounds for him and he wasn't really the same again and found no closure in the encounter.
#10
to #3
-
tuhuar
Reply
+1
(03/20/2017)
[-]
I dunno, I think even if he turns out to be an irredeemable piece of **** (which he probably will, judging by the mountains of money he still owes me) I won't be too upset. Like, I already think the guy's a prick for just abandoning his kid, so he can't get much worse in my eyes, and if anything I'll probably feel a little bad for him. From what I understand he's been moving every year or 2 to whole new states to avoid child support, and that's gotta be a ****** life. I think that meeting him as an adult, and not looking to confront him or whatever, will probably mess with him more than it will for me. Honestly, for as much of a dick as he is for walking out, he still managed to teach me something about being an adult / being a man: don't ******* walk out on your kids, no matter how much you don't want them. Grow a pair, and own up to your mistakes.
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