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#17 - flipninefive (10/24/2013) [-]
I'm fat, and I hate myself. I'm a funny guy and everyone likes me, but nobody loves me.
User avatar #50 to #17 - trothe (10/24/2013) [-]
Make some changes, man. Confidence is one of the single most important things for meeting women. Get out there, make some effort to improve your physical appearance, and by doing that, you'll like yourself more. By liking yourself more, you'll instantly become more attractive to women. It all starts with small changes. Good luck buddy.
User avatar #56 to #50 - myfourthaccount (10/24/2013) [-]
I definitely agree with this
#37 to #17 - chrisoid (10/24/2013) [-]
I feel you bro. I'm known as a pretty cool guy, good dude, a fast runner and a decent face/body (7/10) in my school. Everyone likes me, I'm on good terms with everyone. Yet I'm still lonely. Plenty of people like me, yet no one seems to love me and care about me greatly.

I realized that one girl did like me, but unfortunately for both of us I was a year too late on the uptake. I used her help to try to get with her friend; which was another plan that ultimately failed.

I've been rejected at least 4 times now since i started high school a year ago (sophomore now). I know the pain and the heartbreak that rejection delivers, because I have felt it and unknowingly delivered it. I got plenty of sad stories from my own life, and I'm willing to tell them all, yet no one is out there to listen. would you like to hear my story?
User avatar #54 to #37 - myfourthaccount (10/24/2013) [-]
yeah go ahead and tell the story
User avatar #102 to #54 - chrisoid (10/24/2013) [-]
Around 8th grade I change schools. At this new school I didn't know anybody and I wasn't the most confident or fit at the time so my first month there was pretty spaghetti. I discover that an old female friend from elementary school now goes there and the two of us bond, let's call this girl Emily (fit, tan, attractive, and generally popular). Emily has been on the swim team for 3 years now and a lot of her friends are on it too, so I decided to join in order to make more friends and not be absolutely awkward and unfit. There is where I officially met her, the girl I fell in love with, lets call her Maddie (very nice, cute, slim, is white, has curly brown hair, and a big bust). Life is going fine, I become known as the chill, cool, understanding guy. I dont notice much that year, I'm just focused on making a good impression on everyone instead of forming relationships. Around the end of 8th grade we had a field trip to Orlando for didney worl. The bus ride up there she rested her head on my shoulder, just because she was exhausted for the ride up there. Something clicked for me in that moment, my hands were starting to get clammy and my heart was pounding pretty loud, thats when I realized that I liked her. Emily was always good friends with Maddie, the two were nearly always together. Over the summer I tell Emily my feelings for Maddie and how I want to date her and etc. I was legitimately in love, not just infatuated. Emily helps me out and tells me stuff that I could do just to make myself look better and make myself a better person. Over that summer I lost all my chub and started getting fit, and became significantly more outgoing than before, I was able to hold over a decent conversation with any girl without going full retard. I thought I was good, that I might have a shot at dating this girl that I keep on thinking about every night of my life.
User avatar #103 to #102 - chrisoid (10/24/2013) [-]
Well I psyched myself up for that moment, the moment when I asked her out. It was going to be perfect, I would appear significantly more handsome and cool than before, she would hug me and shout "YES" and we both ride off happily into the sunset. It was perfect, in my head that was. Around November 28th I ask her out, I take her to a park alone and I ask her out. I tell her about how I was in love with her and how she would make me the happiest idiot on the planet if she said yes. I dont get a yes... I get tears from her instead. She starts crying right in front of me, just as I'm pouring my heart out infront of her she starts crying. In that moment I knew I ****** up something. I calm her down and try to wipe her tears away, she tells me "This is a really big decision that I have to make here, give me sometime to think and you will have your answer soon." "Alright", I said," I just don't want to ruin this relationship that we have already." So begins probably the worst time of my life, for about 2 weeks I get no responce, I dont even see her. It was absolute hell, my mind was going back and forth like a ping pong ball; "What if she says yes? What if she says no? You fool she is going to say no. We cant know that yet, she hasnt responded yet, there is still hope." I waited her response and when I got it back I was hurt pretty bad, she told me no. Not because it was the way I looked or anything but because she has her own issues that she has to work out. I was devastated, for about 3 weeks I was really depressed. I got back up though, i recovered from that injury. I only had one thought in my mind, I will do what ever it takes for me to be with her. From February 1st of 2013 I started to wear this necklace, I promised to myself that as long I wore it I would remain only true to her and that I wore it to remind myself of why I was improving myself. Enter Veronica, Maddie's other best friend that I meet. She dropped some information on me that I will never forget.
User avatar #104 to #103 - chrisoid (10/24/2013) [-]
Veronica told me that Maddie had couple lesbianistic tendancies such as that fact that Maddie is slightly in love with Emily and had been trying to get with her for over a year. I go to ask Emily, who at the time had a boyfriend, and she confirms Maddie's tendencies adding: " She is the one who started it all, I played around with the idea of being her girlfriend for a while but I never ever got serious of going with it. In fact she is sort of getting annoying about her attempts to get in a relationship with me. I think Maddie likes boys but idk." Well that was a ******* bullet to the brain for me, what ever slim chances I thought I would have before are now only slimmed by about 99.99%. But Hell, there is still a chance so im taking it. Rest of freshman year I improved myself in every way I though possible, I went out a hell of a lot more, got way more fit and I thought every single day "This is to get her, this pain that you feel during training will be nothing compared to the joy you will feel when you get with her." This entire time that I was training and getting good, I was still friends with everybody, I still hung out with Maddie even after she rejected me; being with her reminded myself of why I was working so hard in the first place. At this point Its the end of my Freshman year, and moving onto summer. I start to become really good friends with Veronica, she keeps helping me with the Maddie situation and I provide lame puns and jokes that made her laugh. It was a good system. Lets move on to beginning of the 2013 school year. I had never taken my necklace off, not even for a single second, my crusade for her love held true every step of the way. At this point I knew that I was a pretty cool guy, I had a decent face and body than before, I was much more outgoing and brave, plus my ****** jokes and puns were getting funnier. So last October I find Maddie, I plan on telling her everything.
User avatar #105 to #104 - chrisoid (10/24/2013) [-]
I planned on telling her on I was desperately in love with her. About how everyday and every night I though of her. About how my pain and struggles that I suffered were all for her. That I was in love with her. Yet I knew that she would say no again. I knew no matter how much time I gave myself to improve I would never be good enough for myself or her. She was looking for a relationship with a girl (secretly, that is, nobody else knew about her orientation, hell I still dont know what she thinks about boys to this day) and I aint no girl. I knew that my tears and sweat (and sometimes blood) that I shed would likely be to no avail. But I still had to tell her how i felt, even if there was no chance at all I still had to tell her. Because I loved her, and cared about her, and i never wanted her to experience the loneliness and solidarity that I felt when she rejected me. So I asked her out again. We both knew what was happening, she knew that I would try to ask her out again. I knew that she was going to tell me no. It was understood by both of us, but never spoken of. She tells me that I'm a great guy and that one day I will find a girl that likes me back, but sadly that girl was not her. She knew pain that I felt because she was rejected by Emily, and I knew her pain because of what she was doing to me. At the end of it all it was sort of like closure, I gave it my best damn shot for almost 2 years, and it got me absolutely no where. ****************** . Of course I was so damn dense that I forgot about my surroundings and people around me. Last month I discovered that Veronica had been madly in love with me the year before, but I was too damn dense and focused on Maddie to notice. That stuck with me, I now absolutely felt like a gigantic pile of **** . Not only did I fail to get the girl that I fell in love with and swore to get, but I also ended up hurting and ignoring the feelings of a friend.
#106 to #105 - chrisoid (10/24/2013) [-]
I was defeated, dead, no longer alive. I had failed at everything that I had hoped to accomplish and only hurt people on my way to get there. My only wish was that Maddie says yes and I never heard it. And the worst part is that I know nothing I could do would change her mind. No matter how much I worked out, or how much I changed, I would never be the right person for her. And it was completely out of my control, I could never tip the scales for her to say yes. I was doomed from the start and I didnt realize this, and thus paid the price for it. But I never regret the love I harbored for her, I only wish there was a different outcome from this mess. Start of November I took (pic related) off. It served it's purpose to me, and I kept my promise to myself. So I start again, alone, lonely, desperate for the love of another. I never will know when I meet my "dream girl" or a girl that I will date, i can only pray that she comes soon.

Because without her, I dont have much to motivate myself to do. I still work hard and train, but to what end... who is there to impress if no one wants to pay that much attention to you?

So I am living in the aftermath of all that. I just want somebody to love me, or at least care about me a little more than a friend normally would. It's just a sort of hollowness that gets filled in with the cold air around me. I want to love and I'm ready to love again. I dont want to be lonely the rest of my life so I must lick my wounds and continue on... but to who?

and that is my long ass story of my relationship. Hehe, if you know any desperate girls in Miami, send a message my way, I need a new goal to work towards.
User avatar #107 to #106 - myfourthaccount (10/24/2013) [-]
The only way I see that could work is for you to get a sex change and become a lesbian for Maddie

Jokes aside though, man that really sucks. As much as I wish I could tell you I understand how you feel, I really can't because honestly I never have and probably never will allow myself to fall in love with someone. I'm Albanian, so there is a 99% chance I will end up marrying an Albanian girl (even though I live in the United States), so I've just never bothered with relationships.
I've been told by a lot of girls that they have had feelings for me, and I admit I feel like an asshole for not giving them a chance but I just feel that by giving them a chance I would make things more hurtful knowing I will not end up being with them for the rest of my life.

That being said, I do sympathize with you, because its gotta hurt like a bitch, wanting someone you cant have.
User avatar #23 to #17 - puremadmentalged (10/24/2013) [-]
I love you flipninefive
#18 to #17 - flipninefive (10/24/2013) [-]
I don't know what I thought this would accomplish.
User avatar #19 to #18 - myfourthaccount (10/24/2013) [-]
I have the same thoughts sometimes buddy. Don't let it get you down though, I'm sure there is at least one person that loves you, but they are probably too shy to say it. Or are instead waiting for you to say something
#24 to #19 - flipninefive (10/24/2013) [-]
Thanks man, that means a lot.
There is this girl I like, and she knows I like her. She told me that she's not ready to be in a relationship, and that she's really busy lately.
The past few weeks we had been talking all the time, and I was getting pretty good vibes from her, but now she doesn't respond to my texts. I know she still likes me, at least as a friend, but I'm afraid that I'm annoying her.
Lately the only part of my day that I actually like is talking to her, and now that it's not as often it's killing me.
I know that she means so much more to me than I do to her, and it breaks my heart.

Sorry, I just feel I needed to vent.
User avatar #55 to #24 - myfourthaccount (10/24/2013) [-]
if she says she is busy then she probably is just busy and that's why she isn't responding to the texts. Definitely don't appear too needy, don't follow up your own messages, wait for her response for a few days and if she still hasn't responded, just start a new conversation (start with hey or some other greeting).

I can't say where it will go between the two of you, but its not a reason to give up. Trust me, once you show a little more confidence, girls will be all over you
#110 to #55 - flipninefive (10/25/2013) [-]
Thanks a lot man, it means more to me than you'd ever know.
Geeze, this was never the reaction I thought I'd get from this site. It's nice to see there are people who care.

I think I've just been really selfish towards her. Talking to her made me happy like it was a drug, and I got addicted. It's not fair of me to put that on her.

I talked to her today and I think I see some light in this tunnel.
User avatar #111 to #110 - myfourthaccount (10/25/2013) [-]
yeah I try to be considerate of everyone. And happy I could help
And thats good that you guys started talking again
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