20 Punishments Handed Down
By Superiors In The Military.
These Are Horrifying But Genius.
A private was caught walking to the showers
without wearing his clothes. (Just holding his
towel and walking nude). The showers were in
the same bay, and it was just males in the bay,
but a female Drill from another platoon came in
and saw him, and made him drop and give so
pushups while nude.
USMC here. In our unit we had one guy that
would constantly hum songs. Well one day our co
had enough of his behavior so he Tells him to
Report to his Locker. so he goes to his locker and
stands in front of it, co tells him to get inside the
locker. when he does he shuts and locks the door
with him inside. He reaches into his pocket and
pulls out a quarter and pushes it through the vent
holes and tells the guy to start singing, and tells
him that whenever someone puts a quarter in the
slot he was to sing another song. this went on for
6 hours, the guy made around 15 bucks in
quarters and we were all in pain from laughing at
Needless to say he acquired the name 'jukebox'
and never hummed again
What are they going to do? Bend my dog tags?
Take my birthday away? chuckle chuckle"
Uhm.. Yep, apparently a Navy Captain did just
that once on purpose by deliberately sailing
parallel to the International Dateline then slipping
across it right on midnight.
Tomorrow suddenly became yesterday and no
birthday for you this year ya chuckle head.
During Beast at USAFA, one of my fellow cadets
started laughing at one of our Flight
whistling that "To the left, to the left" song. Cadre
went off on him...
Basic Cadet woo, are you laughing!?"
why are you laughing, do you know what
BRUCE WILLIS DIED TADAY! Do you hate Bruce
THEN WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING AT HIS
No excuse, -"
Today is a day of national tragedy! We need to
memorialize his death. Pick up one of those
This is now the Bruce Willis Memorial Rock.
What should we name RI?"
Sir, I do not kno-"
WE' RE GONNA NAME IT BRUCE! From now until
the end of Basic, you will carry Bruce with you at
all times! If I ask you how Bruce is doing, you will
show me Bruce and sound off "r' , sir."
Do you understand!?"
One of the other flights in my squadron had their
command for "forward march" changed to
Autobots, roll out." They had to make the
transformation sound from the old cartoon before
they were allowed to start marching,
In Basic training, one soldier hast his
canteen and asked the Drill Sergeant if he had
seen it. The Drill was angry at this for some
reason and made the private wander around for a
few hours asking all kinds of inanimate objects if
they had seen his canteen. Stt things like: "Truck,
have you seen my canteen?"
Saw a drill instructor (USMC) have a recruit find a
rock, name it Dignity and then throw it. Poor sap
spent the next chrs asking people if they' seen
his friend Dignity and walked around calling out
Got caught on basic with my Wed and I ran
around the camp for near 2 hours with my ipod
over my head shouting "i' m a stupid f** k for
bringing my ipod in the field" as the "enemy" was
attacking our camp. I then proceeded to put my
ipod in a plastic hag then taped it onto my helmet
and from there on I responded to Private mod.
When my instructor shouted play I had to sing,
skip I had to switch song etc... It lasted 2 weeks,
even during the night when I had hours to
A service member was a total f** , to put it
gently. Couldn' t be on time, couldn' t show up
dressed to standards, constantly forgot
professional courtesies, so on. When he was on
his last straw, his squad leader pulled him aside
and more or less started yelling, then stopped
lilo. You know what? I' m done yelling at you. It
doesn' t work. Stay right here; don' t go
anywhere." He stormed off into the company
building. The phrase, "stay right here, don' t go
anywhere" is typically the precursor to something
horrible happening when said in anger. The squad
leader eventually emerged carrying a smalldick
potted tree which he hands to the service
You will keep this tree alive. You will carry this
with you where ever you go in uniform. You will
take it to PT, you will take it to chow, you will
take it to work. If anyone asks you why you' re
carrying this f'" king tree around, you will tell
them, 'It' s to replace the oxygen I stole from